We're Texans, live in Howard County. I moved here from Houston and had the privilege of a couple patients out in Terlingua who became the loves of my life ❤️ since then, about 5 years ago, it's been my dream to live out in the Terlingua area so I could serve as many locals as possible because I just adore the people. So we recently bought 40 acres in Brewster Co.not far from town. R/Terlingua doesn't seem to be active, I'm wondering if there's another board I'm missing I can join ? We have to get water etc etc set up so it'll be a couple years before we're living on our land full time but In the meanwhile I still want to get to know the neighbors. Tia for any info anyone might have!
Thx for the insight. I too googled the story just because it's so odd though, no connection.
For the record , I was a VA RN. I'm now retired early status post COVID due to new onset MS and brain injury from my hospitalization with COVID. My patients were Vietnam veterans. That's why they were and are so precious to me. I'm fine and I'll be fine on our land, doing as well as possible and Im used to wilderness living. Jusf wanted to make friends with our neighbors .
Yeah it's bad optics. How are you going to show this to people ? 😅 Zero insight. If pick me were a person. Hole on hannicap people. I need a new fb cover - then crops out half of her own forehead-. I could go on and on. It's hilarious but from the serious side, glaring indicator of a human red flag to avoid.
My ste daughter was exactly this way at 10. So I just said...listen. it's greasy it's dirty. Let's start from the top and wash it right, I know it hurts to brush so let me show you a way to keep it from hurting so you can take care of it. her hair is the most fine, like threads of really fine silk I've ever seen. so I did it for her then had her start doing the steps. I blow dried and braided it so it wouldn't be so tangled when she woke up then had her start helping. THEN... I started showing her cute shoulder length hair on Pinterest. I did it in steps over the course of the month she spent with us last summer. The key was horse camp. Lol. Once she realized she wanted to fit in with all the kids at her horse camp I had her dad sign her up for...she was way more agreeable to doing her hair. She went back to California and within a month her mom finally got her hair cut in a cute bob. Problem not all the way solved but she looks a lot less neglected. Just gotta put it in the right terms for her to take ownership. Ill be waiting to hear your update I completely understand and you're not alone !
OP's husband thinks he wants a divorce until the divorcing starts. He's going to choose his hard and it's going to be the hardest Harding he's ever done in his life. He's going to regret the hell out of choosing not to man up and either agree to work on it depending on how much self confidence and "I give no fucks i'm worth more " she grows or go through years of hell before he finds a new normal.
Thank you so much for taking the time to care,!!! Thankfully I'm a federal employee pending disability retirement so my health insurance is paid for while I'm waiting for it to be processed should be done by the end of March and Ocrevus is covered by my insurance and the manufacturer is covering my copay. It's the dog thing thats my biggest problem. I'm going to get hold of APS today as soon as he leaves for work someone else reminded me of them and they've done all kinds of things for my patients so I'm confident they'll help me too.
Ok that makes more sense. So can you get hold of his probation officer ? Let me reword that: you CAN get hold of his probation officer. Explain the situation as ask if they'd be willing to have an appt. With you and him there, to read a contract he has to abide by as a part of your house hold or, the probation officer will HAVE to put him in a halfway house or back In jail if he's removed from your home. No matter the state. There's no lease when they're violating their probation terms.
I really really value and appreciate this response. I have something called CPTSD I didn't know existed. I just completely lose it unglued level 500 humiliated at work or other public places when certain things happen and I'm much better at managing it now but it still happens once a year maybe.
Triggers aren't an "I don't feel good when I encounter that " thing. They're my worst nightmare, career ruining, relationship ending, people are terrified of you, friend losing hell on earth.
You're right. I just can't stand this at all anymore. I'm pretty dejectedand I don't feel a whole lot of emotions anymore but I can still remember how much I loved just being by myself. I have no access to his bank account. Or any money. He'll cash app me money every once In awhile but that's all but stopped.
Once I'm away from him I think I'll be a lot more ok. I still have all 17 of my Mr T tshirts. They're in my car. So I'll have my dog some tshirts and my cane until I get my federal pension. I'll be ok. I'm pretty ridiculous. Whew. I don't blame my husband I guess.
Awesome I completely forgot about APS. They actually help a ton I've worked with them with a ton of my own patients and they're pretty great. Thank you for the reminder.
I can barely walk anymore. I have multiple Sclerosis and CRPS. Google crps..I don't even want to be alive, I'm tired. I'm ready to go. I don't care how I live the rest of my life I've already lost everything. Absolutely every single thing. I asked for advice for different perspectives because I'm having a hard time being anything but apathetic anymore and I will absolutely be locked out of the house if I don't get it together and be happy for him pretty soon.
So I need to figure out a different perspective or what I can do to change to keep the peace until I have the resources to get out or god has mercy and takes me home. Because he's not going to change. I can't end my life because Hell is forever and I don't know how that works.
So all I have is to make sure there's not some way I might be wrong or the bad guy or whatever that I can fix or improve on until I have somewhere else to go. alli can fix or change is me so I'm willing to do that because west Texas is hell when you don't walk so good and have to try to live in the desert with nothing but a dog and your stupid cane.
I don't want to bad mouth my husband but he's not a nice guy. He pretended to be and Ive been covering for him because who am I going to tell that he's.....completely emotionless ? I just don't believe in divorce, or, more precisely, giving up for the sake of giving up.
My heart just can't take who he really is anymore and I guess I'm scared and ashamed. I have a dog. I have no money until I get my disability retirement from my federal pension. Literally no dollars and no access to any and my car is basically fucked. Ive lost everything and that's fine I can live with nothing. I'm just tired and my heart is broken I guess.
Tell that to my 15 year old hospice patient, in the middle of kicking Cancer's ass when his parents gave him weed because "it's the real cure". JK you can't. Because he died from aspiration pneumonia secondary to cannabis induced hyperemesis.
Your marriage was going to fail whether she messed up in college or not. As long as love is conditional, and an accounting ledger for you, you didn't mean your vows and you don't know what love is nor do you want to know. So go ahead and divorce her so she can have the husband she deserves.
Just a clarifying question: what was your plan to make sure the puppies were cared for if your brother had not come to live there ?
Am I wrong for being hurt that my husband decided to spend our 1st wedding anniversary 1000+/- miles away with his daughter ?
this is cross posted because I don't have a support system to talk to and the more time goes by the more emotional I'm getting*
My husband (39m) and I (44f) were married on 3/23 of last year. I was just diagnosed with MS and several other catastrophic autoimmune diseases the day he asked me to marry him. I'm moderately disabled now...i.e., can't walk more than 15' without a cane. And I had to stop my 16 year career as an RN. But it was very important to him that we get married on 3/23 with his precious now nearly 11 year old daughter present, on a date he'd heard me mention I liked. We were together 2 years prior to me getting sick, if that matters. I'm extremely independent have no family coming from a very broken home and zero support system and have never ever depended on 1 soul in my entire life for anything, even as a kid.
Giving up my independence has been a special kind of hell for me and I've done my best to trust my husband; but he's not a communicator now that we're married and this anniversary thing was the last straw.
I ADORE!!!! CANNOT say enough ...absolutely adore his daughter. I've never dated anyone with kids by choice because the kids and ex were there 1st and I don't want any problems because of me. I just love everyone, the ex included. Literally texting her to see how she's doing, asking how I can make things easier on her as a single mom. She's in California, we live in Texas.
There have been so many lies and a lot of manipulation from both my husband and his ex wife. She's not the healthiest person but I refuse to be "that toxic" problem causing step mom. I can't interfere what what ever they had in place before me and I refuse to do so unless I see abject abuse going on. Not my place. My husband and I both come from really, really broken backgrounds and marriage is not supposed to be easy and can sometimes even be excruciating when you're with a person who forces you to grow and learn new ways to relate to and choose to love them.
Moving along....my step-daughter's birthday is 3/15. Our anniversary is 3/23. I have no money can't go anywhere because my car needs to be fixed and I guess that's not a priority. He goes to work every day, plays Xbox has his stuff. I try to make the best of learning how to be alive again, I quit counseling only recently but take antidepressants and responsibility for my own feelings and don't bother him with anything and he doesn't ask.
Tonight he asked me if I want to go to sonic to get out of the house, got drinks and casually on the way back home, he said....
We're going to have to celebrate our anniversary on the 9th or the 10th because I'm going to be in California seeing my daughter.
I quietly just said....I'm good. Thanks. He started yelling at me and I can't deal with that it makes my pain instantly go through the roof and I'm tired of crying it just makes him angry.
I never wanted to interfere with his relationship with his daughter his own ex wife told me literally never calls when she asked if I could try to encourage him to do so; which I can confirm unless he's doing it while he's at work. He spends money and visits for Christmas and her birthday.
She can't visit here because her mom is pretty controlling with him as far as visitation goes, she was here for 1 month last summer and honestly she lied and did what kids do but I wasn't allowed to ask for accountability or anything at all and it made me so sick I just told him it's better if he maintains the status quo that was in place prior to our marriage because I don't know what to do with a kid who doesn't bathe at all and lays in her bed on her iPad from the time she wakes up until whenever she decides to go to sleep. It just made me really uncomfortable.
I can't go there because the last time I tried I was left out which was fine, but ex wife decided we should all go ice skating, and then I had to babysit in our hotel room alone while he went out with his friends a couple of nights the next visit, for our wedding and. I....can't ice skate. And. I just feel so small.
I guess the date we celebrate doesn't matter but this just feels like an "eff you lady" culture and honestly I'm hoping my disability retirement is approved in march per the timeline so I can just go and figure it out alone.
Thx for any and all insight.
NTA. You may be a minor but your mom's decisions are putting undue stress on you in an already very stressful situation .
Have you tried writing her a letter ? A very sincere letter. Tell her how much it hurts to see her with the world on her shoulders and that her kids are still going to love her after the hard teaching moment has passed. They'll come around. Her burden is to be the mom you still need as her child and that means helping to stop your constant heart break every time you see her bent over under the weight of problems that aren't either of y'all's to bear. You respect her authority but worrying about your nephew while trying to work, pack up to move and still be a responsible kid is causing you to crumble too. And whether it's right or wrong you feel like her only ally right now and if you fall apart....who will stand in the gap ? Thank her for her wisdom and unconditional love if you feel that also. And it sounds like you really do, for good reason. ❤️
NTA. I've worked exclusively with dementia patients as an RN,running SNF's and LTC's as well as hospices, and bene the Alzheimer's educator for the city I live in for many years and their care is VERY complicated and intensive. Knowing your limits makes you an incredibly loving family member.
First of all, she needs all of her meds reviewed and probably inpatient psych to get her as close to her functional and psychological capacity as determined by an interdisciplinary care team as possible.
Then, there are a ton of living situations she can thrive in, but you need an attorney...ASAP to freeze her assets so her only option ISN'T a Medicaid bed in a nursing home. There are incredible personal care homes that will literally give her and YOU life because of the way they're run. They're private pay but depending on her assets she could live in one for quite awhile until it's time to look at nursing homes. She can also be on hospice even if death isn't imminent which is an amazing extra layer of intensive case MGMT. Which will also find her a good home should the need arise. And she doesn't have to be a DNR to be on hospice under her Medicare benefit, just show an ongoing decline.
First and foremost, get hold of the Alzheimer's association. 24 hours a day. They have a ton more resources than you'd imagine and will help with getting a plan of action for her care lined out. Get a medical POA. Is/was her husband a military veteran? If so, she can have services as a widow of a veteran unless she disqualifies based on income but the VA also has alot of resources avaialble for her even if he wasn't a retired veteran.
Feel free to inbox me with any questions except to ask if you're an asshole. Already said you aren't. You aren't. Period. I'M PROUD OF YOU!
Why has no one mentioned labs here or have they and I'm not seeing it ? A generally healthy human body has a stopping point when it comes to energy intake. I'm just an RN. But. Yeah, something is wrong. Medically. He needs labs ASAP. So, start by going to a doctor.
AITAH for divorcing my husband because he’s extremely overweight?
AITAH