I can lose the weight; but you’ll always be an asshole.

I was maybe eight years old and tasked with sweeping out a garage. Evidently I wasn’t doing the job fast enough when my sperm donor commented that I would never be able to hold down a job.

Damn, girl. Are you a dinosaur? Because you put the ‘ass’ in ‘jurassic’.

“Try, and you might. If you don’t, you won’t .”

I’m not desperate enough to hire a dude for handies.