I totally understand how you're feeling and I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Sending hugs. I used to love taking pictures with my friends and boyfriend, and documenting moments I don't want to forget, and now I am filled with fear the moment someone points a phone at me. I avoid events where I have to look nice because I don't know how to, and I fret and cry for weeks/months leading up to the unavoidable ones. My confidence is gone, and my focus on my imperfections, my inability to see myself as beautiful extends far beyond my scalp. People who aren't going through it can't possibly understand how devastating it is.

That being said, I have a loving partner who tells me I'm gorgeous and that he would and will still love me when I'm completely bald, and who doesn't tell me I'm being shallow or it's no big deal when I'm sad about it (like many other people have.)

I don't even think my identity is tied to it per say... I just know that women who lose tokens of their femininity, like hair, their figure, etc. are completely devalued and ignored in a hetero male dominated society, and this goes for more than sex and romance. Good luck advancing at work if your male peers don't enjoy looking at you. Doesn't matter if you're the best candidate for the job. Random strangers will let doors slam shut in your face and walk into you in the street like you're literally invisible if they don't want to fuck you, and therefore have reason to impress you (with basic civility and consideration, because the bar for men is LOW.)

Meanwhile, a balding or fat man is still respected for his value outside of his appearance, and his prospects are barely limited by failing to meet stereotypical standards for male beauty. It's that simple. It's a man's world where women are still reduced to their looks, youth and sexuality, and thick luscious hair is an essential part of that package.

That's what makes me cry daily. That I became invisible and unvalued.

Yeah. I was hoping to find people who had tried it, but alas. As for the oral minoxidil, I'm not having any side effects, I definitely have a lot of frizzy baby hair at the front which I will at least be able to pin back over the sparse areas behind eventually. I did notice a bit more peach fuzz on the edges of my face, maybe on my upper lip too, so I'm not going to go any higher. Can't really afford regular hair removal. It's not visible to anyone else but me at present, looking very close. I did not notice any facial changes when I was only on 0.625. Just FYI. Good luck, I hope it helps. :)

That's funny, because I'm on oral minoxidil, started 0.625 six months ago, increased to 1.25 about 2.5 months ago because while it was helping, my most severe balding areas weren't changing. I still don't think they are. I recently made a post asking if anyone has used topical minox to target specific areas, and whether you can stop if/when it starts to work and maintain that new hair because you take oral minoxidil already. I don't want to use topical forever, my lifestyle makes it difficult to incorporate it into my routine forever and I also have a sensitive scalp. No one answered though.

I'm sorry. I know how you feel. <3

Me too. It has helped, but not nearly as well as it might have if I'd started earlier. I expect many of my hair follicles are dead and gone and not retrievable anymore. 😔

Does Spiro work the same as minoxidil, you lose the hair when you stop taking it?

I'm in Canada. Is that topical minoxidil? That's definitely available here, but I'm looking for answers to my questions before I try it.

Spiro doesn't seem to be available here. I also take finasteride, not sure it's hard any regrowing effect... maybe it has slowed the loss. Afraid to stop and find out. I don't shed heavily, maybe that's why, but the loss was quite advanced when I started and Fina did not change that so I started taking minox as well.

Unsolicited opinion - I'd be shaving off that boyfriend if he said that to me. Heartless and needlessly harsh. I hope he was just being a little thoughtless and not regularly putting you down like this. It's not that bad, mine was worse. I'm on oral minoxidil now, early days (less than 6 months, about 5 months on 0.625 and 1.5 months on 1.25) and I've got a lot of frizz going on. I'm very hopeful. I always resisted the idea of shaving and wigs even at my worst because it seems so uncomfortable. I'm glad I tried this instead. No major side effects, maybe just a bit of water retention? My efforts to lose weight have slowed a bit but apparently you can treat that with drinking more water, potassium, and dandelion tea.

Wait a second. I never noticed before but just examined my passport again and there is indeed a little embossed camera looking symbol on the front cover! Ha! Thank you.

Yeah, I don't think I have that. We do have some apps available of late meant to expedite customs, we'll look into that.

I've never heard of a camera symbol on passports. We're Canadian, if that helps.

What is e gate? Do we do customs online or something? Should we download any apps or prepare anything in advance?

He's cheating on you or planning to. Using his phone.

Yep. Every time I think my hair is looking cute, I am robbed of that illusion as soon as I check the back. I'm just thankful I'm quite tall for a woman and not everyone walking behind me has that view right at eye level. It's especially bad after I've slept on it.

I was terrified of starting too. I thought, I have so little left I'm going to look like I'm going through chemo if I lose any more. But I didn't! The shed was minimal. I started very slow, lowest possible dose (I take it orally) and waited 5 months before deciding that while there had been progress, I'd like to see if I can get more. Went from 0.625 to 1.25 mg two weeks ago. I'm much less scared this time.

I can't comment on your heart history or smoking, but I hope this helps. For reference, I am 35 and did not exactly treat my body like a temple, but I am not experiencing any noticeable side effects.

Thank you, and congratulations on your amazing results!

That's amazing. I just increased to 1.25 myself after 5 months on 0.625, some results but not enough. I'm hoping I won't grow any facial hair because I do not have any experience or skills in that department and very little time to add to my pretty much non existent current routine. But it sounds like you were already dealing with a bit of facial hair growth before the addition of minoxidil?

I don't even understand how such rapid progress is possible!! Congratulations. What is your dosage? Are you experiencing any side effects?

Thank you. This is really comforting. I thought I might have just addressed the hair loss too late.

Really? Like I might start seeing growth in other areas where there currently isn't if I take more??