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Boyfriend suggested I shave my head and start wearing wigs because my balding has gotten worse this past year
Support/AdviceI was told by derm that I have TE. And I was on Spiro 150 mg daily, and supplements (Nutrafol) for a couple years till I stopped around 3 months ago because I thought we were gonna start trying to get pregnant. So I switched to rosemary oil, scalp massaging, red light therapy, derma rolling, protective hairstyles (ie., braids). And I only watch my hair once a week. I have a bunch of baby hairs that made me think my hair was improving. But according to my bf, I guess not. Now that we’re not trying to get pregnant anymore, I’m gonna resume the Spiro and Nutrafol. I was also prescribed oral minoxidil, but I’ve honestly been too scared to start because of dread shed. I know that’s my own fault. But I think this was the push I needed to just get over that fear and start taking it.
Also wanted to add that I thought this was partially genetic/stress-related. My mother experienced hair loss since her 40s but didn’t try to do anything about it, and now looks almost visibly bald. She works a very stressful career, and so do I. I’m a very type-A personality so being stressed out most days is normal for me. I started noticing hair loss when I was in high school. But it’s certainly gotten worse over the last year because I started grad school in a medical field and my stress levels are at an all time high.
Don't be afraid of the oral minoxidil. I have been on it for 2 years and it's honestly helped me so much. I use this and nothing else and while it's taken some time, the results are definitely there. I did have the initial dread shed and another shed that came about 8 months later (normal) and have nothing but great results ever since. ❤️
Dont be afraid to start Minoxidil and drop that idiot.
Wash your hair every day or every other day! You need to wash off the DHT off your scalp before it builds up. It’s a common misconception to wash sparingly. I recommend Purador DHT shampoo. You can get it online at Costco or Amazon.
I’m very type A too and stressed all the time… but the hair loss in most cases is hormonal. Especially the genetic type. I hate when people kind of blame themselves for being too stressed when even if you had no stress (and who does in this economy) you would still have hair loss because it’s hormonal.
Yeah. I think stress was easier to blame than genetics. I have to do more research on it but if genetics and hormones are the cause, is there basically very little hope of getting my hair to look like it used when when I was a teenager (the last time my hair was thick and full)?
There are medications that slow down/stop hormonal hair loss (spironolactone is one) and there are medications that can regrow hair (minoxidil is one). People have various levels of success on these medications. I am on both if you have any specific questions
Has anyone tried act and acre?
Don't shave your head, get a wig topper
Do you know of any good brands or companies that sell them? I’m open to trying
https://www.instagram.com/rainbowhead.shop?igsh=MWQzNGRxbHo3NnhjNg== - she’s more about funky wig toppers but I think she does customs too!
No sorry, search 'topper' on this sub, you'll find lots of old posts.
THIS IS THE ANSWER 👆🏼
Oh my goodness that’s terrible even if you were asking for his opinion , he could’ve found a different way to put it .
You have so much hair and there’s so many options to try before doing something as drastic as shaving it off, I’m sorry but your boyfriend sounds ignorant.
Its not too bad. Speak to a doctor. Your boyfriend's a dickhead. Get rid of him.
Tell your boyfriend that you will if he will. What a shitty thing to say to someone who’s probably already anxious about their hair loss. That is a very personal decision.
That being said, I’ve struggled with hormonal hair thinning the last few years. Things that have helped me: Rice Protien Shampoos, rosemary oil scalp treatments and massage once a week, adding a B-complex to my supplements, using a thickening mousse on my wet roots before blow drying, and using a round brush to gently cross part and dry my double crown hatchet part/cowlick at the back of my head (the bane of my hair existence). Good luck. Your lovely no matter what your hair looks like.
Thank you for the recs and suggestions! I will look onto the rice protein shampoo and vitamins. Any particular brands that you recommend?
The Kitsch shampoo and conditioner bars are pretty great (you can almost always find a discount code for your first order) or I l’ve also liked Luv Me Care. I’ve ordered it from Amazon (and it’s currently on sale with an additional coupon!). I like the Miele Rosemary & Mint hair oil for strengthening treatments. You can typically find this at the drug store. I get my vitamins delivered from VitaRx (so I don’t forget to take them!).
You should check in with a doctor before shaving your head!
For now, you may have a bit of a cowlick in the back of your part, have you tried switching up what side you part your hair? I switched mine up and it helped a lot, along with adding rosemary oil.
But, please see a professional before making any drastic decisions!
Also, your BF sounds like a douche.
Cowlick, like I’m trying to hide a bald spot by combing over??
Cowlick means that your hair naturally wants to go one way so if you comb it in the opposite direction, it tends to stand up a bit away from your scalp.
Tell him keep his dick covered. It's too small. If he had a mans dick he could let it swing.
Have you tried minoxidil?
I’ve tried topical, but not oral. I will start taking oral now
I’m very sorry you are going through this! What I’m gonna say is harsh but it’s from my heart… your boyfriend seems like he’s not truly caring about your feelings…but very much about his. Think about whether or not this man is someone you can count on loving you no matter what. I think you should work on your hair and definitely reflect on this man.
Drop that boyf 👎🏻
Look for a solution but before wigs just wear some dark dry shampoo that’s what I do… it’s nice ish maybe that he suggested something instead of bailing guys don’t know how to approach things or how bad they come across give him the benefit of the doubt. You have way more hair than I do and I feel ok ish w dark dry shampoo
it’s not even “balding” he needs to shut up and u need to leave him bc wtf ew
It doesn't look that bad. Balding is not overtly noticeable. Go to a doctor
Ditch the Boyfriend, share your life with someone who treats you with respect and love 💖🌸💕
Unsolicited opinion - I'd be shaving off that boyfriend if he said that to me. Heartless and needlessly harsh. I hope he was just being a little thoughtless and not regularly putting you down like this. It's not that bad, mine was worse. I'm on oral minoxidil now, early days (less than 6 months, about 5 months on 0.625 and 1.5 months on 1.25) and I've got a lot of frizz going on. I'm very hopeful. I always resisted the idea of shaving and wigs even at my worst because it seems so uncomfortable. I'm glad I tried this instead. No major side effects, maybe just a bit of water retention? My efforts to lose weight have slowed a bit but apparently you can treat that with drinking more water, potassium, and dandelion tea.
Are you in an abusive relationship or have you been obsessing about your hair so much that your bf went over the edge?
I definitely obsessed over it but I don’t vent to him about it every single day every single moment. But he’s aware it’s my biggest insecurity right now
He was being fucking rude
My suggestions would be
- Dump him
- Get a topper and live your life
Men can say the most unkind things sometimes. A great hair cut in addition to the other tips like dark dry shampoo, fiber builders etc could do so much for you. You don't have to/need to shave your head. A great cut with a lot of layers could help immensely with your confidence and the appearance of volume. I also have to change my part side every wash or I get a lot of breakage at my hairline and start to get a bald spot again.
Hugs. Please let him know it hurt to hear that.
You could try "hair building fibers" like Toppik
Is your boyfriend a Dermatologist if not why are you listening to him?
Not sure if your b-friend worded that poorly or if he was being an asshat, but either way, no need to shave your head. Try hair fibers or a topper or a wig.
I was gonna say this.
I cut my hair into a very short pixie when it was thinning, and I regret it every single day! My husband encouraged it only to find out that he was being unfaithful to me the whole time don’t listen to him! He doesn’t have your best interest at heart you don’t need to shave your head to wear a wig
I’m so sorry! I hope he’s your ex-husband now
Thanks, he almost is! I don’t think your thinning is that significant maybe try spraying some colored dry shampoo over it and minoxidil.
It’s really not that bad to shave off please don’t shave it
Shave the bf out of your life first, then start on topical Minox if oral scares you. There’s options out there op, you got this!
I would not shave. I would just resume your treatment.
My hair looks like yours. Dermarolling made my hair shed like crazy. I stopped that entirely and only used rosemary oil as a prewash twice a week. It's been a month and my hairfall SIGNIFICANTLY dropped. Also wash daily, and clarify once a week.
Please get rid of the boyfriend while you can. I have a husband who comments about my hair... I fucking hate it.
I’m surprised dermarolling made it worse for you. I’ll stop and see if that makes a difference for me too. I’m gonna wash my hair more often. I think once a week was too infrequent. And my scalp would get noticeably flaky and itchy
Short pixie cut + wig, or just get a topper.
They suggest shaving because men get bald very fast and radically. It's the only decision for them if they don't want to use Finasteride.
Don't be offended, I guess he just wants to help in his own way. But if there are other things that he hurts you with maybe that's just another red flag.
Glad I'm Single!
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You have nice hair still just learn how to style it
It’s not that bad. This is nothing that some keratin fibers and scalp cover up couldn’t fix while you wait for medication to work.
I was getting to the point of shaving mine.
He’s joking right?
no i don’t think you should shave your head! you’ve got a decent amount of hair but if you’re conscious then get a scalp topper and continue to work on your hair growth journey!!
echoing what other folks have said, but hair loss is such an emotionally trying time and i am so sorry someone you trust as a partner would say something so horrible to you. You deserve all of the love, support, and reassurance that you are more than your hair. I just went through a horrific bout of TE and I would be remiss if I had done the nuclear option instead of Toppik, a bob cut, and helper hair. Here for you. 💕
Thank you everyone for the support, encouragement, and advice. I’m not giving up on figuring out a way to restore my hairloss as best as I can and will be changing some habits to see if they help me. I’m grateful to have found this community of people who understand what I’m going through. Here’s to winning our battle with hair loss!
How much vitamin D3 do you take
Get a new boyfriend 💋
Fellow man’s opinion here. I think you should talk to him and ask him what that was + tell him that this is real important for you and to take extra care when talking about your hair. Maybe he was trying to convey that he would still support you if you wear a wig - super poor wording IF this was the case.
You still have lots of hair! Have you tried any treatments? I'm sure something will work for you. Not sure what kind of loss you have- AGA? Oral or topical minoxidil could work well if your not already on them as well as LLLT.
No where close to needing a wig or shaving from what I can see...you could try some concealer to increase your confidence while the treatments work.