Seems to me you need to grow the fuck up. We don't survive in this world alone and you have beside you a true and tried partner who has committed to you and has seen you through some crises. You made her feel like her needs are not valid because you got better/other things to do. Just because your brain cannot process the magnitude of the commitment you have just made does not mean you get to discard people who in that moment appear inconvenient because they have normal human needs. Dude. 🤦🏼♀️ How do you think real partnerships work between adults? We are all busy. All the time. And we have shit to take care of. We still make time.
What do you eat on hikes? Do you do any sort of conditioning exercises on a regular basis?
It can also happen when you drink a lot of water while hiking. Use electrolyte pouches and it could alleviate the issue. :)
I would make sure to adjust my expectations when it comes to distance covered. When I first started taking my Pyr for walks her average was about 2 miles. She can do 6 now. My pit bull will just power through anything - it all depends on a dog. Make sure the trail allows pets. I would get a harness that clips to your chest so you can travel hands free. It may take some getting used to so use it a few times before you take it on trail. Consider sleeping arrangements, food weight and emergency supplies. Can you get your dog to safety if they get hurt? Is the area tick dense? All things to consider. ;) Have fun !
Such an adorable beefcake!
It's really not that much up to a breed in this case as it is up to how well you raised it. My ex hiked with an Anatolian/lab/pyr mix for 15 years and she has been excellent. My Pyrenees mix that wasn't even leash trained when I got her ( some Amish farmer surrendered her when she got puppies so she really was just a livestock guard dog) is a great hiking dog and super friendly. Take the doggo for a few trips and see how they do. You obviously are a better choice for a caregiver :)
Let me edit a little as I read it scan-like half asleep. My recommendations are workable for non abusive situations where partners struggle with communication about boundaries and preferences. In your particular case some really hard lines have been crossed and no one would blame you for moving out and fleeing to safety. If you feel unsafe, get out. ❤️ If you want to try to fix this setup, make him agree to counseling so he can understand that it's not okay to replay porn scenarios on real humans. I saw in the comments you are already planning some safety moves. Best of luck to you !!
To address his side of things: It would seem like lack of consent is part of his sexual fantasy and it adds to his excitement. And while there is nothing inherently wrong with rape fantasies it becomes a problem when those fantasies are not thoroughly discussed and agreed upon before initiating.
If consent turns him off you can both agree on a scenario and a "password" or a sequence that initiates it.
Communication and trust in sex is everything. It gets so much better when your body feels safe and your boundaries are respected. If he cannot respect that there is a big big issue.
To address your side: you are entitled to your own preferences, hard no's and hard boundaries. If anal does not do it for you - you do not need to compromise on that. If the way he approaches you kills your mood - you should be honest with him about it. If anal is a conditional thing - you are open to it when "the coast is clear" and you feel a certain way - let him know you will initiate when you feel like having anal, but make it clear the way he initiates just does not fly. I know this conversation may seem hard but the more you guys open about what you like, dislike, want to try, want to avoid - the better things will get.
Him pouting about how he makes you feel will ultimately lead to less sex, because if you don't feel safe and seen you have no reason to want him to have you. Sex is about connection. Be brave and never lie about how his actions make you feel.
Your gf is attempting to be cool whilst having some healing to do. The trouble with being inauthentic and insecure is that it always backfires in awkward moments.
Consider if you have what it takes to help her heal and potentially take some beating in the process. You don't necessarily owe her that assistance.
If you plan to continue this relationship make sure to set iron clad boundaries that will make it hard for her to gaslight you. You can only respond to what was asked of you. You are operating under the assumption you are both adults with pasts like she herself stated. NTA. But you should know that ;)
You need some professional support to untangle yourself from this enmeshment. If your partner truly called the shots he would also truly deal with consequences of his own decisions. Just because he made it clear that he does not want children does not make it your responsibility to pay for his mistake. Right now you need stability, support and a loving partner and if this is what he is doing to you that is all you will ever need to know about the quality of a human being you are dealing with and what you can expect moving forward.
NTA. Your workplace is not the place for you to divulge personal things if you don't feel like it's appropriate. Honestly it is also not your job to ever tell anyone about what her orientation is - it is her choice every time. It sounds a little weird to me that she would be upset about you trying to be respectful. Most people legitimately don't care and don't need to know. I am sure on some level she needs to be able to process that. I would suggest some therapy so she can explore why she is putting the burden of broadcasting on you, and why it's so important to her that strangers know.
NTA. Journaling about feelings associated with people at the time is normal. Making a fuck buddy list? What the hell for? I don't like to be objectified therefore I don't treat my men like cattle either. 🤦🏼♀️ Plus why would I even want to remember some of those dudes? 😂
Very firm boundary setting. Dogs will usually let the other dogs know what they are comfortable with. Pyrs typically do that just to lay down the law, otherwise they are too busy chilling to give a flying bird :) my Pyr smacked my pit bull over the head once to let him know she appreciates peace during her meals. She didn't bite but she let him know ;)
Nope. Just nope. No patience for this. 🤦🏼♀️
Thank you for saying all this. The amount of untrained dogs on trails is staggering.
I own a pitbull and a great Pyrenees. Both my dogs are friendly but assertive, so will give you the benefit of the doubt but will sense if you have intentions that don't align with my safety. I have watched dogs charging at full speed bounce off my pit bull faster than you can say "oh shit". He can catch them mid flight. I know my dogs..I trust my dogs. I always leash my dogs. I am sympathetic to your cause I myself had to figure out how not to go to jail a few times because other people's inevitably "friendly dogs" decided to charge. The stories I could tell you. The trouble a lot of people have is they don't comprehend that not everyone likes dogs and that is okay. There are people who are scared of dogs and they have a right to exist as well. And if an area calls for leashing or prohibits entry to animals it does so for safety and enjoyment of all.
The big problem with your post is this is not the place to vent about it. This is not a hiker community issue per se and this is not the correct action to take as most of us utilize the trails respectfully. Contact animal services or the cops next time and have them take the corrective actions. If the animal is acting aggressively and does not respond to voice commands it is a public safety issue and should be treated as such.
Redefine good insurance. My cost of high risk pregnancy with diabetes mellitus was zero. Which means I was at the doctor's literally every day by the end of it. I hate American health care system. :(
Soak your feet in some Epsom salt water and give them a good massage then rest.
Yes but they also offered to put it back and were refused ... The gravel they left behind also represent value. I would leave it alone, at the end of the day the decision not to get the compost back was OP's. And compost with dog shit in it has very limited application.
It would appear that some (if not all) companies turn away from lasting quality and towards products with a predetermined shelf life. :(
That is kind of a strange question to ask people who know nothing about you. Do people incorporate hiking into their daily lives? Absolutely. Is it always tenable ? Absolutely not. I walk 3-5 miles daily to condition myself for bigger hikes and try to get out for 10+ miler every week or two. I have two large dogs, one of which is a total spaz and cannot behave in the car en route to hikes lol. Work, house, garden, kid, transitioning co-parent in vicinity. It is not perfect and it does not always work out.but you become your habits eventually and it is important to have something that is yours. Good luck figuring it out and finding a routine that works for you !
Mint will choke anything, it does not grow, it explodes 😆
Hey you! It's working out great, I am about to add an extra tray so worms can move up and start working on a new batch of soil. The soil is glorious 😊. The upkeep is basically non-existent, I spray them daily to maintain moisture and drop organic matter for them to work on every 2-3 days (each batch of worms works at their own speed and you don't want to overcrowd the trays with food). Pictures to follow. :)
Set up a worm farm yesterday. So freaking excited 😂
composting