My therapist once told me i should talk to myself in the mirror, like positive pep talk kinda, and i think that's gross lol like why would i do that, i don't even know this person

My parents are conspiracy theorists so a ton but on a societal level. I got to learn that i wouldn't be able to grow up because of the third world war happening soon when i was like 13. We cannot trust anyone or anything (if it's from the government or big pharma, so, no medicine basically, and ngl, i give my mother part fault for my grandmother having had a stroke and becoming so depressed in hospital because she told her as well and obviously you're going to be sad when you also believe that you're not going to receive appropriate help).

Other than that, my mother also believes that family is everything (and obviously she did nothing wrong, I'm just behaving terribly for cutting contact) but she also once told me, quite randomly, that she'd want me to keep the child in case i got pregnant, even if it was due to r-pe (i was just sitting in a car with her when i was 17. I didn't even have any male friends except maybe that one classmate that she barely knew of). My mother had been abused by her father (idk if she got touched but she was looked at when naked and he wanted to measure things for no apparent reason), so that's a weird thing for her to say. I do think she draws the line when it comes to that kind of abuse in the family because she once yelled at me on the subject of me apparently making her bf feel bad because I'm not talking to him as often, and she asked me whether he'd r-ped me like that was the only thing that could excuse me just not talking as much to people.

Also that I'm somehow too wise to be parented. Especially after she had an iq test done on me. Since then I've been an old soul and too intelligent for her to raise, apparently, though she did say this quite literally a few times. She said i had been sent to her for her soul to learn from me. Quite disgusting i find. Childrens brains still want to play with someone, doesn't matter if their iq is below or above 100.

Most of all i despise how she still thinks there's some way back for us. There's not. I don't want to see these two people ever again. I'll go on Christmas, because of my brother, but other than that the bridge is burnt.

I don't think you're an asshole, i think you never really got the chance to learn how humans interact. And yeah, you and your friends should both try getting to know each other, it's great you're making notes to remember! The very fact you're trying to learn about your friends proves you're not only thinking about yourself, which is what selfish means. You're very much thinking about your friends.

Haha yeah same. Not the exact same situation but my mother always used to tell me how selfish i was for normal children things so now i have trouble setting boundaries and doing anything that really is just for myself. But i think it's normal to be a little selfish sometimes, i mean you're the most important person in your life per se.

I don't think it's his memory, more his perception of family roles even though he knows what's been happening and it seems to be the same for your friends. They also don't want to believe family can be a bad thing. It's what you also say in yout last sentence, they don't want to believe such a thing.

Your thought process does remind me of a certain group of guys that think that way

But people usually are very deep in their belief to the point they cannot.

It's absolutely fine if someone has physical preferences even if it's something the other person can't change about themselves. Some guys like big boobs, some like flat ones, some like tiny women but that doesn't mean they're absolutely against the rest. It just means they're less likely to be asked out by this specific group of men, that's it. Not everyone has to be attracted to you. Just accept some people won't want to date you, no matter what you do.

I never did either

So now i could go off about how you dare insult my religion and oppose it. It's so gross you don't want me because i believe in a God. Not that i was religious but do you get it?

I feel like you're really just blaming women for having preferences and not giving you the one thing you deserve as a man, sex and or a home slave, because you're short (nobody deserves these things and no woman is a slave, feeling the urge to clarify that). You can't change your height but you can change how you feel about it. Be proud. It really doesn't have as much of a role as you think.

Though I'm starting to believe you're a troll

Being short doesn't equal being unsexy. I get the gist you got rejected and now you're claiming that all women only want tall guys even though the reason for the rejection might just be your personality or some other feature. So many people said it before in this thread and i did too: being short can still be very sexy

Get off the internet, i beg you, touch some plants outside, hug a tree maybe

Love how you only answer to one specific point and then not even a concrete answer. What are your preferences?

Well, most women do settle for personality though, plus you can't be hot to everyone. As they say, you can be the tastiest peach around, there's still people that don't like peaches. And trust me, finding a guy with a hot personality is way harder than finding a hot guy. So i don't know why you folks think that having an attractive personality is somehow worse than looking good, especially since you commented below you'd settle for personality too. You can even make a middleground and be both good looking (by taking care of yourself) and have a nice personality! Would you really rather be a guy someone settles with for looks only? You'd like a partner then that only uses you for sex and ignores you the rest of the time, maybe shows you their friends as some kind of trophy? Is that what you want? Silently sitting with your partner and ignoring each other?

As i said not everyone does this. And it's not gross, it seems you're just sad you're not as tall as some would like you to be. It's true that most women want someone taller than them, just like many guys want someone shorter than them. Not everyone can and will find you attractive, that's just life. Plus, as i said, even if a woman has the preference for tall men, you may convince her with your personality or other traits. Maybe she likes tall men and dark hair. You may have dark hair and something else she seeks.

Having a preference doesn't mean you're opposed to something. It just means you'd like one thing more than the other. It's like if you buy ice cream. You may think "I prefer chocolate but i also like strawberry. Since they don't have chocolate, I'm happy to have strawberry".

What are your preferences?

You're a bad person for claiming you'd use someone interested in you romantically for sex.

Why exactly do you think this preference is gross? Is it just because you're short? Do you claim women don't want you because of your height and not because of other factors?

Yeah man. It's your personality that sucks. You'd use a person that likes you and throw them away. You ought to accept you can't control preferences and that preferences aren't any more than that really. And also maybe see women as actual human beings that are allowed to have preferences (even though as mentioned not all women have the same preferences, we're not a hivemind nor a different species altogether).

But if a woman that you liked asked you out on a date you would accept, right? Even if she tells you she prefers tall men but still likes you specifically for personality reasons? If you don't like the preference that sounds like a you problem honestly, you surely also have preferences and still would date someone that doesn't fulfill them if they convince you in other fields.

Depends on whose perspective. It can be either: "Boy feeds a strange animal and becomes fascist, then depressed" or "The human race genocides itself over not reading a manual"

Next project will be "fruit seller is pursued and hated by all because of the insurance"

Overnext "Some kids decide to kill the Gods and get annoyed by an omniscient moth lady and her pet human man"

That started gross and ended even grosser

Go outside, you've been on the internet too long and have started generalizing people based on the content you see not on real people outside

Also I'm kinda trying to not say you don't like this preference because you don't fit it. But i did just now. Not every woman has this preference and even if a woman has it, it's a preference not an ultimatum. You can still comvince with looks and personality (though women tend to go for the personality more).

Not Asian, but i still somewhat feel this. My fathers side wasn't exactly abusive but does come close to the nothing family you described, and my mother who i grew up with was emotionally abusive. I used to visit my father more often after i became legal age but soon noticed that there just wasn't anything thereand that he hadn't put any effort into connectong with me, his wife also hadn't, he was just kinda running away from me as the reminder of that he had things to do with my mother and i was resembling her a little. My friends know of my parents, they all do because i can't keep my mouth shut. I find it important however to tell them because only then can they understand me a little. I'm lucky to have friends that do understand this. I don't feel the need to vent about my family to them as often because i already feel understood from the core so i can talk about nicer things. Still i feel like I'm only acting a human persona out, but that's a cptsd thing that a lot of people also describe as a symptom of theirs. It's not the same as not being able to open up to your friends and it seems quite impossible in your situation. It however also does seem similar to what you describe with the stock phrases. You don't know how to react. Stock phrases are fine, you might also try to ask more about the details and move the subject away from family. Like:

My mother tried this food. What was it? Where died she get it? I also want to, what are the ingredients?

Then you have a topic outside of family. Your friends know your family sucks, they just don't really get it. They believe family is good and since it's good for them, it can't be bad for anyone else. Sadly this is the opinion many, mostly average people have, that their situation must be like theirs for everyone, and there's very little you can do about it. You may try to make them understand how exactly you feel about your family and them saying you should simply forgive them, or you could try and avoid this topic. I feel you also because my father refuses to believe that my mother was that bad, even though he had been abused by her before me. He claims that she's still my mother and that i only have one of her and whatnot, even though he knows most of the important details of what i went through. It's a society thing it seems, and only now after four years of him knowing does he seem to show a little sympathy for me (not that i would expect it from him at this point). And it hurts that even though he is my father (or that these are your friends), he doesn't want to understand me. I hope that maybe your friends understand it one day and can lend adequate support or that you'll find other irl people that understand you.

Came here to say this. It's gotta be fake, and if it isn't i choose to believe it is

It can be part of a trauma. While i don't think losing something once can give you ptsd, cptsd is caused by a series of stressful events of which some might be considered minor but ultimately play into you learning that you can't do anything about your situation and you can just be walked over. When a parent takes your things, you learn that you didn't deserve to own these things in the first place and that there's nothing you can do to keep them, aka you learn you can't defend boundaries that people will always try to step over. It's a process that leads to cptsd and having your things taken away plays a huge part in the developing brain of a child. You learn you have neither authority nor autonony.

I remember three instances of my parents crossing this line. First was my mother throwing away my collection of figurines i got out of Kinder surprise eggs (i live where they're legal). I noticed and took them back from the bin, she said it was because i hadn't cleaned them up. I had kept them in a plastic bag, they weren't scattered around in my room, but i paid close attention to really put them away. However, she still threw them away a week after or so, claiming the same, and i was too late to save them. There weren't any pricy figurines in there but still some i really liked that weren't distributed anymore, not to mention it generally is a game of luck to get anything nice. I remember i had two or three cute monsters that i really liked and some kinda rubber ball figures that i also adored but ever since, I'm only ever getting cars or weird constructs from the surprise eggs, like i was cursed now (or they're just putting worse things in there now).

Another instance was my mothers boyfriend throwing away the puppet that I've had since birth and slept with every night up until i was 14 or so. It was really shaggy, the cloths had been torn and had become really thin, the colors were fading and there were quite some stains on it (blood mostly for sh reasons). Lucky me did find it in the trash and save it, it is safe now and still exists somewhere in my basement. He kinda joked about it when i found it, saying that it was all torn up anyways.

I feel this. I had quite some boundaries be crossed because i didn't realize why i felt uncomfortable when it happened. That was a rather bad situationship and only afterwards (after the whole thing) did i realize that i had boundaries that i communicated but that they weren't respected and i got rather angry about it. I still quite often feel not present and idk how i feel most of the time, which is something that scares me regarding future interactions. Is there something that has really helped you achieve this?

You absolutely can :)

Though i like to use commata to symbolize someone being really hasty in speech or panicked in a scene. I find your reading voice becomes way faster if you use a lot of commata. When i want a pause in dialogue, i usually do something like ""So it really was-" His shoulders became heavy with the realization. "Henry?""

Though of course things might work differently depending on who uses it how and where.

That's true and i can understand this rule mostly affects non-fictional works and essays you might have to write for school. I wouldn't bend grammatr when writing an essay since i don't have to have my words reach the same effect as in creative writing. I'd find it nice if a teacher dared say that if you're writing creatively, you are allowed to alsp be creative with grammar to convey the feelings better. I also did actually quite like my teacher and she didn't make a big deal out of it when we did it for creative texts. In fact, one of my best grades was a speech where i started the sentence with "but" or "though" quite often.

Huh that's a weird thing to say. You can write whatever the heck you want. One could even consider writing a diary writing. If your hobby is writing, then you're a writer. If you publish, then you're an author. If your language is weird and the word eriter isn't really a thing, then you're an author regardless of what you're writing.

That's the movie, yeah (i kinda forgot the name lol)