Why should she lose that money because you were ill?

This is what my dogs are afraid of.

Anything but take accountability, right? I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope you find peace with whatever you choose. <3

I'm glad you were able to get out. No one should go through what you did. It felt like rape because it WAS rape, and you're right. It's nothing to joke about. Thank you for sharing your story with us.

My God. This sounds like the three day lecture I endured when I had the audacity to date someone my parents didn't approve of at the age of 29. My dad kept calling me "rebellious." I couldn't move for financial reasons, and I'm pretty sure it took years off my life.

Literal example of "play stupid games, win stupid prizes."

It's because people who rant about this are invested in the idea that fat people are fat because they are bad, weak, and stupid. They build their identities on the difference between themselves and the people they hate, so if fat people can lose weight with an injection, it threatens their whole worldview. Disregard them.

It's getting here Saturday, and I can't wait!!

It was shocking. Most of the time it would just end up in an argument, but at least it wasn't a one sided conversation! Ha.

Mine would lecture and yell at me for hours, too. When I cried, she would get so disgusted with me, like I was being manipulative and weak.

I know that every relationship here is different, but I'd like to share my own experience with doing this. My entire childhood and young adulthood, when my mom would engage in her BPD behaviors, I would shrink down and just weather it until it stopped. In my 30s, I finally got tired of taking it, and I started doing exactly what you're doing.

For example, she would often bring up her father and how horrible he was (he really was a terrible person and father), and she would get angry about it. He died before I was born. My dad's mother also had shit parents, and she would talk about it often, especially as she got older and started to ramble more. My mom had no patience for this and would criticize her to me. She would frequently bring up the failings of her in laws and compare me to them. It was a nightmare.

So one day, she's ranting about her father and getting really worked up. I interrupted her and said, "I know your dad was terrible, and I'm sorry for what you went through, but you really have to let it go. He's been dead for 50 years. You sound like grandma when she talks about her parents." She got quiet, and I thought, "Oh shit, here it comes. I've really messed up now." But there wasn't any fallout.

A few months later, she told me she wouldn't bring up her father any more, because I was right. I nearly fell off my chair.

I'm not saying this will fix your mom, but it will make you feel better to speak your mind. To me, it felt like taking some of my power back. I spoke my mind and just let her deal with it.

Have a look at this link. It has a photo comparison of various mantid oothecae. It looks like the native Carolina oothecae have a brown and white pattern, whereas the European ones look kind of like a loaf of sourdough, as someone else mentioned here. :)

I think this is a European mantis ootheca. Also invasive.

Could that be an ootheca of the European mantis, rather than Carolina?

Comparison of mantid oothecae.

❤️

I thought about it but never got around to it. They hatched today! I'm so excited.

I have a wren nest in one of my potted plants on my porch. I have to resist sticking my head in there to look every time I walk by. They should be hatching soon!

It's wrong, and it's unfair. You shouldn't have to jump through hoops for basic health care. That said, if it's possible, keep trying doctors until you find one who listens. They are rare, but they are out there. I was incredibly fortunate to have found one, and I stayed with her for 15 years, until she moved. I'm still looking for another one, and it's rough.

I've spent a lot of time thinking about this after my mom died. It's been a strange journey, because I've felt both grief and relief, but as time has passed, I've gained distance and perspective. My life was measured in the time between her outbursts, so there was always a certain level of anxiety knowing there would always be another one. After she died, that particular anxiety went away after a while. I feel like I've been able to think about it more clearly with more time, you know?

Yes, I think they know, but they feel justified because they perceive that we are hurting them.

I always felt like my mom would get upset about something, related to me or not, and then ruminate on it and spiral into emotional chaos. Then I would walk in unsuspecting and do something like leave a glass in the sink or laugh at something on TV, and she would EXPLODE. To me, it came out of nowhere. I did nothing wrong. But to her, I am the worst person in the world, because I was the one who lit the fuse on the powder keg that's been filling up for who knows how long.

I'm not saying that was okay, just that she knew she was upset at me, so she would try to make me feel the way she did. I believe it was because she couldn't regulate her emotions. She couldn't talk herself down or react appropriately to the correct target of her anger. To her, the correct target is the one that was present when her emotional dam finally broke.

I hope this makes sense.

Top left: POV doomed seeb.

I feel like I'm watching my own mom spiral in real time. It starts with a small irritation, which rapidly snowballs into the WORST THING YOU HAVE EVER DONE, all because she isn't able to stop those emotions from taking over. It really makes me sad for her and for your mom. It must be awful to be on an emotional hair trigger, where just about anything can spark self destruction.

It's such a complicated mess. I feel empathy, but I also remember how destructive it was for my own mental health. You can be empathetic, but you have to prioritize yourself. The sad truth is, nothing else will help.

You too. <3

Just remember that they have to come up with something to write every month. If your garden brings you joy, that's all you need. If you feel like their advice is something you want, you can rearrange things, but if your plants are happy where they are, who cares? You do you!

That look after you gave one to the other squirrel. How DARE you?