One point for each “yes”.
Before your 18th birthday:
- Did a parent or other adult in the household often or very often… Swear at you, insult you, put you down, or humiliate you? or Act in a way that made you afraid that you might be physically hurt?
- Did a parent or other adult in the household often or very often… Push, grab, slap, or throw something at you? or Ever hit you so hard that you had marks or were injured?
- Did an adult or person at least 5 years older than you ever… Touch or fondle you or have you touch their body in a sexual way? or Attempt or actually have oral, anal, or vaginal intercourse with you?
- Did you often or very often feel that … No one in your family loved you or thought you were important or special? or Your family didn’t look out for each other, feel close to each other, or support each other?
- Did you often or very often feel that … You didn’t have enough to eat, had to wear dirty clothes, and had no one to protect you? or Your parents were too drunk or high to take care of you or take you to the doctor if you needed it?
- Were your parents ever separated or divorced?
- Was your mother or stepmother:
Often or very often pushed, grabbed, slapped, or had something thrown at her? or Sometimes, often, or very often kicked, bitten, hit with a fist, or hit with something hard? or Ever repeatedly hit over at least a few minutes or threatened with a gun or knife? - Did you live with anyone who was a problem drinker or alcoholic, or who used street drugs?
- Was a household member depressed or mentally ill, or did a household member attempt suicide?
- Did a household member go to prison?
I think for most people it’s a combination of childhood indoctrination, mental health struggles, and poor emotional intelligence. I used to wonder how so many arguably intelligent people (for example, lawyers and doctors) could still believe in god. I now believe that it’s a global epidemic of emotional immaturity.
Here are some hallmarks of emotional immaturity - how many religious people do you know that can be described by these?
Thoughts about life are simplistic, literal and rigid. Dislike the uncertainty of an evolving reality.
A need to control others through guilt, anger, or shame.
View others as incompetent.
Express charm and charisma.
Define self and others by their roles in a binary way; submissive or dominant.
Poor filters, say whatever comes to mind without regard for others’ feelings. Claims it is “being honest”.
Poor listeners, un-attuned, and unable to resonate with others who disagree with their opinions.
“Affective realism” - things are as they feel at the moment.
Unable to learn from errors because actions are not connected as a possible cause of harm to others.
Fundamentally fearful and insecure.
Defend what is familiar because complexity is overwhelming.
Do not trust or desire to learn or comprehend complex concepts.
Rigid about rules but change the rules when it benefits them.
Proud of being unyielding and judgmental, but call their rigid thinking “moral fortitude”.
Use superficial logic to shut down other people’s feelings. “You shouldn’t feel that way because…"
Believe that if only others would plan well enough, they can avoid all mistakes, and others should always feel bad about their mistakes.
See other people’s boundaries as something to overcome.
Dismiss or scoff at personal growth. Are threatened by the suggestion they are not perfect.
Do you think people who believe in gods/religions are brainwashed, stupid, or evil?
atheism