Millennials

r/Millennials281.1K subscribers5.3K active
Monthly Rant/Politics Thread: Do not post political threads outside of this Mega threadDiscussion

Outside of these mega-threads, we generally do not allow political posts on the main subreddit because they have often declined into unhinged discussions and mud slinging. We do allow general discussions of politics here so long as you remain civil and don't attack someone just for having a different opinion. The moment we see things start to derail, we will step in.

Please use this weekly thread to vent and let loose about personal rants. Got something upsetting or overwhelming that you just need to vent or shout out to the world? You can post those thoughts here. There are many real problems that plague the Millennial generation and we want to allow a space for it here while still keeping the angry and divisive posts quarantined to a more concentrated thread rather than taking up the entire front page.

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Dating apps have ruined dating. Dating apps have ruined dating!Rant

Pretty much everyone agrees that dating apps suck, so why do we all keep on using them?

They’re not optimized to meet quality people. Even the “good” ones. They are meant to keep you on the app as much as possible. And then try to sell you the paid version with fake promises of more matches and better dates, etc. And they get a lot of vulnerable people on that.

A couple years ago I got out of a four year long relationship at 21 years old. I had no idea how to “date” in the real world, so naturally I turned to dating apps. They were incredible addictive. Every day, I was shown a bunch of random girls, and need to make a split second decision on whether to swipe or not. It gave me so much anxiety. And the tens of conversations in your dms that go nowhere. And the small percentage of women I actually met up with, there was never a spark.

I realized this just isn’t how humans are meant to connect with people. It is so inhuman and frankly dystopian. I deleted all the dating apps. And pretty soon my dating life actually became great. I was meeting people organically way more - and I realized that’s because I HAD to. With dating apps, there was always a reason not to go up to a new person, because you could just meet someone on an app. Not anymore, this is the only way!

And the quality of people I met went way up too. Makes sense when you can actually sense someone’s vibe in person, rather than just see their photos and quirky bio.

And I eventually met my girlfriend who I’ve been with for over a year. Everything changed when I got off the apps. I try to tell my friends who are all struggling with dating to do the same thing. It’s scary at first but it’s worth it. But they don’t listen.

Interested to hear everyone’s thoughts on these apps. Am I overreacting?

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Who else has their childhood address/phone number permanently burned into their brain?Nostalgia

At 36 I can still spit out my childhood address, complete with building numbers and cross streets, plus our original land-line phone number.

Why do our brains hold onto this info when I can barely remember what I did last weekend?

Evening Wine Drinking becoming a problem — am I an alcoholic? Advice

I’m 38 and I’ve absolutely fallen victim to drinking a glass (or 3) of red wine every night. I’m starting to feel ashamed of my consumption, especially around my daughters (15 and 12).

My maternal grandfather was an alcoholic but was able to get sober before I was born. Because of his alcoholism, my Mom never drank and I never grew up around alcohol.

I have also had weight loss surgery so the wine rush hits me faster. I’ve always been able to socially drink but the every-night drinking has been since about 2021. I don’t wake up hungover, I don’t drink throughout the day — but you better believe the cravings kick in when I’m cooking dinner after work.

Anyone else in my shoes, also? Is this considered alcoholism?

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Is anyone else living paycheck to paycheck or can't save up money?Discussion

I have a good education, I have a good job but I also just bought a house. I can't keep up financially and it feels like everyone else is going better than me.

Mostly absent grandparents to my baby, anyone else? Am I being selfish? Discussion

Looking for other perspectives on this. Millennials with children/babies, do you feel supported by your boomer parents/your baby's grandparents?

I am a SAHM. My husband works all week, and we have no support. MIL lives over an hour away and my parents retired and moved to Florida (we live in NY).

Grandmas literally blow up my phone and bother me all week to send pictures/ FaceTime with the baby. They scold me for not video calling enough. But then when they get the chance, they don't actually seem to want to take care of him. Thankfully my husband is good with helping, but obviously thats not an option while he's working.

I'm currently visiting my parents (in the Villages in Florida, for those of you who are familiar. It's essentially a retirement community that is like eternal Boomer summer camp). This is the second time I'm here since baby is born and I was looking forward to getting a couple free days to just have a break and hang by the pool while grandparents babysit. When I asked my mom this morning to take him for the day, she was hesitant, and I ended up doing all of the baby care this morning/afternoon.

I know my parents deserve a nice retirement, but I can't help but feel like we've been shafted. This wasn't how it was for us. Both my husband and I grew up with grandparents that were very involved and lived very close. I know they love him, but they don't seem to want to actually do the hard work of caring for him. They also don't seem to care that I'm run ragged and in desperate need of a break. When I expressed that today my mom said "welcome to motherhood" and I just feel so disappointed. I know this is motherhood, but what happened to having grandparents or some kind of community to help? I'm literally alone with the baby every second of every day and all the care falls on me. I feel guilty asking for help and when I do I feel shut down.

I can't help but feel like this is not a unique situation. Millennials with babies with boomer grandparents, chime in here, am I being selfish? Are you disappointed in the engagement level of grandparents?

What's the average age gaps in Millenials' kids? More letters to reach 60Discussion

I have three friends that I can think of off-hand that have kids with a 15+ age gap between their oldest and youngest. The friends that had a kid or two when they were in their early 20s are now having kids with their current spouse in their mid-30s. Not sure if this is a new(er) thing or if this was something most people didn't talk about when we were in high school. It also feels weird that one friend from elementary school is having her first kid this week and another friend from our same grade just had twins a few months ago with a 15 year difference between her oldest son and latest twins.

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If you were able to, would you willingly help your parents financially in retirement?Serious

I want to stress — “if you are able to” and “willingly.”

I saw the thread on what millennials without kids would do for retirement and there seemed to be a lot of negativity towards taking care of parents.

I believe there should be a negative view of a parent’s expectation for that. But I was shocked how many people viewed willingly taking care of their parents negatively.

Is this a cultural thing? I could never imagine not supporting my mom to the extent I’m able, once she retires.

Previous generations wasted more money on ridiculous things than millennialsNostalgia

Anytime I see a people complaining on social media about the cost of housing compared to previous generations, it is always followed with hundreds of comments stating that previous generations did not "waste their money on ridiculous things". These comments always bring up Starbucks, avocado toast, $1,000 cell phones and streaming services (and it always seems to come from one side). But they completely ignore what previous generations spent money on.

This got me thinking... How much money did we waste on ridiculous things?

I started thinking about what I saw older generations spending money on in the 80s and 90s.

Almost everyone I knew had a glass cabinet in their home filled with "fine china" dinnerware that was only used once a year. And the walls were decorated with artistic plates that were not cheap. Seems ridiculous.

Depending on when you were born, you would buy the exact same music album at least 3 times. Maybe you started with a record of your favorite band, then you moved to cassettes and had to buy the same album again. Then CDs came out, time to buy it yet again.

You would go to the record store at least once a month, usually more, to buy these CDs. They cost around $12 which, in today's money, is equivalent to $27. And you rarely just bought one. I spent somewhere between $24 and $50 each month on CDs, which would be $50 to $100 per month today, just to have music. And everyone has a huge binder full of CDs under the passenger seat of their car.

Oh, but we needed something to listen to the music on. So we may have started with a record player, then moved to a WalkMan, then a DiscMan for CDs. In the early 90s a DiscMan would cost between $380 and $450, depending on if you wanted the good anti-skip feature. And you needed that feature if you wanted music that didn't skip when you walked. That is between $800 and $980 in today's dollars, adjusted for inflation.

So we were paying the equivalent of a nice cell phone today to just listen to music, ALONE.

Oh, I'm sorry, that is just for music on the go. I forgot about the multi-disc changer we needed in our homes, connected to a separate amp, that was connected to big speaker.

And of course we all would upgrade to the newest versions.

And sure, we didn't have cell phones, but we had the first pagers, that needed to be upgraded to the better pagers with letter options, that was upgraded to the first cell phones.

Now the pagers and cell phones were not too expensive. They were around $80 to $100, which is about $200 today. But those plans, thats where they got you. If you went over your monthly minutes or messages, get ready for a surprise bill in the multiple hundreds.

We spent an insane amount of money to listen to music and have a pager/phone. Streaming services seem WAY cheaper.

And speaking of streaming, what about movies?

In the 80s, VHS movies were about $90 because only rental stores would buy them. So we would go to Blockbuster every Friday and rent a few movies at $3 a pop. This is about $10 today for one single rental. Of course the kids would get two choices and the adults usually got one. That's $30 a week for movie rentals.

When DVDs came out in the 90s, the price to buy dropped to $25, or $50 today. So everyone built up their collection. I remember every house I knew have a stack of DVDs next to the CD tower.

We wasted an insane amount of money on ridiculous things.

And those are just the things off the top of my head.

Millennials are right, previous generations had it easier.

Millennials not planning to have kids, what are your plans for old age? Do you think you’ll have enough saved for an old folks home?Serious

Old Folks home isn’t a stigma to me because my family has had to deal with stubborn elders who stayed in their houses too long.

That being said who or how do you expect to be taken care of in your old age?

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For Millennial parents with kids struggling to read using “picture power”Other

So I’m pretty sure we’ve all seen the horror stories about literacy dropping in children due to a variety of reasons including schools moving away from phonics. I have a 5 year old who’s just learning to read and she’s been coming home with the sight words, picture power, sound power methods, etc. but really focusing on the pictures. She was just straight up guessing without trying to read the words at all.

If you’re in a similar boat with your kids and have concerns, I highly recommend downloading the Hooked on Phonics app. We just downloaded it 3 days ago on her iPad and immediately I’m seeing a massive shift in her reading capabilities. We had tried a bunch of the other apps her school recommended that align more to their teaching model but she had no interest in any of them. I was just so frustrated with arguing with her about sounding out the words and her saying that her teacher said to just use the pictures. It’s pricey at $12.99/month but we’re not even through the trial yet and I’m already fully bought in. The background songs are a bit annoying but it seems to be working and fast so I don’t even care.

How comes the 80s felt and look so outdated by the 2000s but the 2000s don’t feel that dated now?Discussion
How comes the 80s felt and look so outdated by the 2000s but the 2000s don’t feel that dated now?Discussion

The time jump from the 80s to the 2000s is very transformative and huge. Like there are so much differences in the video quality, music, clothing, styling from the 80s to the 2000s

And it seems like there’s not much changes in music, clothing, styling, video quality from the 2000s to now?

Like sure you can find some differences between these decades but really, there’s nothing that groundbreaking and innovative.

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Corporate Millennials, is it normal to spend an hour writing an email at work?Discussion

I work in Sales Support / Technology and whenever I need to provide a big update, direct a member of my team to perform some task, or anything of that nature, I tend to spend 45-60 minutes before hitting send.

I reread each paragraph, then reread the whole thing at least twice at the end, so I am sure that eats a lot of time. But, I think it is also conditioning from late High School and College, to be overdetailed to meet page/word counts.

I see TikToks every now and then about Millennials/Gen Z waiting all day to send emails, or spending all day on one email. So, I know I am not alone out there, but just wondering how common it is to spend 10%+ of your day on one response.

Thanks!!

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Anyone notice their social security retirement age changed? Just checked mine on the gov site and sure enough…Discussion

Anyone else notice we don’t get our full retirement till age 70 now? How did this fall under the radar? Just checked my social security on the official government site and, sure enough, we don’t get our max benefits until age 70 while it is 67 for boomers. This will also affect Gen Zers. Didn’t they, like, set France on fire for something similar? How much more can our generation take, because things are not looking good…Also let me guess what generation made THIS decision…

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Businesses still popular thru 90’s, even into say 2009, that no longer [or barely] exist today.Nostalgia

Stores: K-Mart, Sears, Pep Boys, Brookstone (sharper image), Tower Records, Circuit City, Radio Shack, Fry’s Electronics, GNC, blockbuster

Clothing: Mervyn’s, Millers Outpost (anchor blue), Foot Locker, Payless Shoe Source,

Restaurants: Sizzler, Coco’s, Carrow’s, Marie Calendar’s, Boston Market, Quiznos, Baskin Robbins, Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf, Jamba?

Fuel: Texaco, and later Valero (in my area, at least).

COMMENT BELOW and let’s add to the list. Woohoo!! 🙌

How do y'all deal with your parents aging and declining in their old age? Discussion

My parents are gone so this really doesn't affect me that much but how do y'all deal with our elder parents aging and declining?

How do we help while still maintaining boundaries? How do we deal with issues like Alzheimer's and Dementia?