But there are all sorts of reasons to have sex, even enthusiastically. There are likewise lots of reasons to consent to sex, even enthusiastically.

• The asexual person might love orgasms. They might have a high sex drive.
• The asexual person might love engaging in a particular kink. They might find certain sensations work better for them than others.
• The asexual person might enjoy a feeling of closeness with someone they love or simply be enthusiastic about fulfilling their loved one's needs.

If you'd prefer, I can shift my example to lesbians who choose to have sex with their husbands (rather than gay men doing so with their wives). It makes no difference to me. Either way, relationships are obviously complicated, and I really don't understand how it isn't a double standard when heterosexual behavior doesn't bar someone from having their homosexual identity acknowledged but it does so when you're asexual.

Is it possible that there are people who aren't asexual claiming the identity? Sure, but that isn't an argument about asexuality or asexuals' behaviors. That's about people lying.

I had a likely heart attack at work. Passed out and everything.

Didn't realize it until the next time I saw my cardiologist because I didn't have the telltale symptoms for it, even when you look at the ones for women.

So instead I set an alarm for quitting time when I could tell I was likely about to lose consciousness, passed out on the floor of my office, woke up when the day was over, and went home.

Congratulations on your recovery!

If someone is saying asexual (rather than labels like demisexual), it really is simple! Just very different.

We don't feel sexual attraction. That's it. I can look at you and think you're beautiful and still not be sexually attracted to you. I can love you, romantically even, and still not feel any sexual attraction.

Everything after that? That's about how people choose to live their lives, and it is much like how bisexual people who have long term hetero relationships are still bisexual. I can decide to sleep with a romantic partner, but it won't be because I'm sexually attracted to them because I'm not sexually attracted to anyone. That's what makes me asexual.

If you have questions about asexuality, I'm glad to answer them. Once you get into demisexual or other groups, I'll cede to someone who identifies in those ways.

So do you think asexual women are all enthusiastically having sex with people they're sexually attracted to? Otherwise I'm genuinely confused by what seems like a double standard to me, where you separate out sexual activity from sexual orientation for groups that aren't asexuals.

Because the straights certainly seem to realize the difference between an asexual person being willing to sleep with them and someone being sexually attracted to them. They very much know we are not one of them.

It's an area where I can definitely earn my flair. Because I'm not trying to "infiltrate" the queer community--and I'm frankly confused by why some people think I would want to/need to, particularly with how much access allies are granted--but it's like people regress to the same arguments that were made about gay folks half a century ago. I don't have patience when gay people in particular do that.

So homosexual men who are closeted and have sex with their wives are not actually homosexual?

I had a fractured ankle and couldn't get anyone to x-ray it. Unsurprisingly, it healed wrong.

I had a movement disorder and went to the emergency room at my mother's urging. They attempted to put me in a psych hold.

That last one has also led to, I shit you not, a hysteria diagnosis.

I had 21-day painful periods, where my legs literally would give out and I almost bled to death twice. I couldn't get anyone to care about my pain, with A pain specialist telling me he didn't "treat that kind of pain."

I can generally tell when I am severely anemic, but mild and moderate sneak up on me.

I'm asexual and largely heteroromantic and don't call myself straight.

Some members of the queer community do, though. There's a lot of equating being asexual with just having a low libido.

Yes. It is why I am often put on clockwork Xanax/Ativan.

Just the shift into wakefulness gives me my first panic attack when I'm unmedicated.

I would be curious to know if the studies checked if this result holds regardless of if the women has/wants children.

If a woman wants children, this preference if just logical.

N=1, but I didn't want children and really haven't ever cared about a man's salary beyond not wanting to need to pretend like I don't make what I do in order to protect his feelings. I'm not rich by any means, but I make much more than average in my area.

When I was young and desperate and my standards were low, yes. I thought that was all I could expect.

Second half of my 30s I realized I really would rather be alone. I now am much quicker to kick people off my proverbial Island.

I went from almost 10 hemoglobin to 6.3 in one night.

That said, I have fibroids and was flooding multiple diapers in an hour... The rough equivalent of 8 pads an hour for several hours before txa made it so I could sleep without overflowing.

Went to the ER and got a blood transfusion a few days later followed by another round of iron infusions.

It really depends on the guy. Like: what's most unusual about him in the moment?

Could be something about how he looks or what he's doing. Could be that he's looking at me.

I start on Saturday, but I have clinical anxiety and am not a great fit for my job.

I don't have great suggestions. I can WFH on Monday, and that helps a little. But beyond that I try to give myself something to look forward to early in the week and remind myself that the money for that reward comes from selling my labor.

I suspect it is partially because she was drunk. But I also don't remember my childhood because my brain has decided that's healthier for me, so that might be part of it too.

Treatment resistant here, with over 26 medications under my belt.

It's benzos and IV ketamine at this point. I'm still not where mentally well people are, but it's better.

Have you tried ketamine, TMS, or ECT? For me, those are my last line of defense.

Me, a friend, or someone I pay.

I didn't take care of either of my parents, my mother because she didn't want me to and my father because we are no contact. I wouldn't want my hypothetical children to take care of me either, and it actually bothers me when I hear about this being a significant motivating factor for why people have children.

Didn't say it was. If I thought suffering was limited along racial lines, I wouldn't have also specified middle class.

It would be stupid to disregard the obvious impact of actual laws encoding racial discrimination, though.

It was useful. I don't use most of it (exception was a law something like never outshine the master), but now I can recognize when other people are doing do.

Yeah I mean my father is an early boomer. He was almost an adult by the time the civil rights act passed. My mother was 10 and had already lost her first language because not speaking it helped her pass during segregation. Both of them have stories about how a lot of what we look back on for the boomers didn't apply for them at best and relied on what's since been acknowledged as systemic discrimination at worst.

My dad is still a boomer dick and his struggles don't excuse his behavior, but I'm not jealous.

I think I feel jealous of white middle class boomers, but my non-white boomer parents struggled in ways I haven't had to, so I wouldn't want to trade places with them at all.

Helped me be happier? No.

Helped me be a better friend to the people I CARE about? Definitely.

We used to open a file sharing connection and then go offline. The file sharing meant we could talk to each other but no one else could talk to us.

Adding a eulogy for livejournal, deadjournal, blogger, and geocities.

For me, it's more that I know I'm not stupid. Other people tell me I'm smart, and I can get down on myself when I struggle with something I believe the average adult can do easily. But I don't walk around feeling smart... Just secure in the fact that I'm not stupid.