I think I just did. I had a respiratory illness starting on May 9th that started to resolve around May 15. I assumed it was COVID or RSV (ironic since I don’t really leave my house much and I had COVID back in October) and didn’t think anything of it and just slept/drank a lot of water. On May 15 I develop a deep stomach pain that I thought was a UTI and go to urgent care who gives me antibiotics for a UTI and told me to go to the ER for a CT scan if the pain gets worse. The dr at urgent care did not think it was my colon since I was not vomiting. On the 16th I develop a low grade fever after taking 3 rounds of antibiotics and go to the ER. A CT scan shows I have diverticulitis and inflamed lymph nodes in my stomach. I was given a round of IV antibiotics in the ER and sent home where I am still recovering. Prior abdominal CT scans showed diverticulosis as an incidental finding when checking my liver and other organs (I have what they think is NASH/possibly resolved Hep A as well as pancreatic insufficiency and IBS-D) but no one seemed too worried. I had an abdominal X-RAY about 5 weeks ago that showed significant bowel impaction, but it resolved after about a week of taking stool softeners. This was triggered by changing my diet to help with NASH and lose weight. I also had a colonoscopy about 8 weeks ago that found 2 large precancerous polyps. The crazy thing is that I am only 39 and I have no idea what is going on. The acute pain has gone down, but I’m just uncomfortable and still having diaherra even though I’m only eating smoothies and broth. Also my liver enzyme were super elevated again.
My body is so frustrating
If it has been more than a few days you may want to take your temp and go to the dr. 4 days after my gallbladder surgery (with some major complications) I had SEVERE shoulder pain. I went back to the ER to find that I had a temp and was starting to develop pneumonia and ended up being readmitted 24 hours after I was discharged.
Do online surveys for focus groups? Enroll in medical studies or research studies through a university (Vanderbelt has one for autistic adults now). Do focus groups. Donate plasma. Sell clothing. Hold a sign for a few hours. Clean up after banquets. Get job at Amazon and quit after a few days. Do door to door political canvassing. Craigslist used to have gig work positions, but im not sure if they still do.
I have been in this situation and it’s a horrible, powerless feeling. Made some very difficult decisions when in this place and while in retrospect that were awful, they had to be made in that moment. Riding the wave of emotion may let you problem solve a bit easier, but it’s not going to let you meet your basic needs. Gotta find a way to get income. Brainstorming with a friend to keep you locked into rational mind, not emotional mind, right now is key but it is incredibly difficult.
Can your parents help while you figure stuff out.
Also not to stress you out, but more for everyone else’s knowledge. Disablity, at least in the US takes at minimum 4 months if approved initially which is unlikely to happen. If usually is at least a year to get approved and is not really a viable, short term, or quick solution here.
First things first. If possible apply for benefits through your state/county. They can give emergency food benefits for those with less than $100 in your account.
That’s so difficult but also kinda amazing that your brain did that to “protect you”.
LOL no…he has a sister. Maybe some single cousins though
Random question. Are you autistic? I am and just had my first episode of diverticulitis at 39 last night as well. I wonder if there is a genetic predisposition for autistic people.
I (39F) also just had my first episode last week and had a colonoscopy about 8 weeks ago. The wanted to schedule one in a year because they found polyups. Do I need to do one earlier than a year?
In my case I have IBS and had a BAD episode of constipation about 5 weeks ago (I actually asked about diverticulitis at this appointment) after I started trying to eat healthier in order to lose weight to treat liver issues found during an emergency gallbladder removal last year. They initially found the diverticulosis on the CT scan when I went to the ER.
My gut is an absolute mess and this is just more evidence as such.
I’m lucky I caught it early and didn’t have perforation or an abscess and was able to get away with just a iv antibiotics in the ER and oral antibiotics at home
This awesome! I think my boyfriend is nuerodivergent too, but is able to mask and has lower support needs than me. I’m also his first girlfriend and I’m 8 years older than him
I absolutely struggle to do this and it makes me profoundly anxious. I am especially anxious if they are both speaking at the same volume, but at a different pitch OR there are multiple competing sounds. I also have hearing loss too. Anyway I will mention this to my speech therapists
Thank you
Wow!!! I guess they added a new diagnostic criteria to the DSM as symptoms of BPD /s. The is probably the most off base thing I’ve ever heard that is suggestive of BPD. It’s so horribly inaccurate and stigma based it laughable.
That is a great example of how ridiculously wrong Drs can be
Yeah they happen before bed usually and that’s where the suspected assaults with my ex occurred. They also sometime happen when I meditate around others but didn’t start till after the ex was out of my life
Well it didn’t “all work out” but it is much better. :-)
This all sounds like repressed memory stuff. What happened that allowed you to get the answers if you mind me asking? Was it EMDR
The only weird things I had like this was being terrified to work around children in a childcare or one on one setting for fear that I would be accused of or accidentally assault them. I know this is a common type of OCD. I also had this odd, yet intense, intrusive thought that every time I would get into a car with a man, regardless of who it was, that they would kiss me or I would have to kiss them. The other weird behavior was that I felt deeply uncomfortable about my father hugging me or doing the father daughter dance. I honestly think this is because I got no physical affection from my family as a child/teen moreso than my father physically assaulting me. Unrelated, but kinda so, when I first met my boyfriend I would physically cling to him constantly throughout the first 6 months of us dating and it’s still a struggle to physically be away from him since he is the first person I feel safe with, but still very much struggle with healthy attachment/intimacy.
Anyway, the pedophillia OCD went away after I went to residential treatment in 2015 and did my own exposure therapy by teaching little kids in China with no issues and the kiss in car intrusive thought and issue with my Dad went away after I developed a safe therapeutic relationship with a man and my father became more physically affectionate (appropriately so).
Thank you for talking about this and reminding me of how I’ve made progress on this. I’ve not even thought about this stuff for a long time. While my trauma history is intense I don’t always remember how intense it was since I’m constantly trying to just get through the day with PTSD and all the “wonderful” challenges that come along with living with autism that was unrecognized and untreated for nearly 40 years.
The body always keeps the score and while our brain may forget, our bodies don’t.
I’d call or go to the police and ask for clarification on what you need and if this constitutes an threat. It’s surprisingly and stupidly difficult to get a protection order in some areas. You can also reach out to an advocate at a women’s org or through the police to help you with this process. Be advised that there is a fee for protection orders too, but sometimes women’s orgs have financial assistance.
Also many of the dv resource websites have a quick release button to exit quickly and remover to clear your browser history and record of phone calls if necessary. Not sure if you husband controls your phone calls/internet use
Jesus!!! You are fighting through hell too. You deserve to find peace and get to a safe place where you can let others take care of you so you can have the space to heal. When you find that space or that person it is game changing in terms of recovery. Are you able to take some steps to even brainstorm some solutions for finding a way to find that space or person? Do you feel safe reaching out to a DV helpline to talk to an advocate? I don’t think many outside of the trauma community knows what it feels like to not have any self confidence and live in fear every damn day of our lives. And while I know this feeling I can only imagine how difficult to live in this abject fear for so long and try to parent. You deserve to be safe and to take steps to heal. Even if the step today is dialing the number to a DV hotline and hanging up immediately. You have power in your situation even if it does not seem like it or feel like it. Even a tiny action (and even talking here on Reddit) will likely help. Be safe and smart though and only you know what that looks like in your personal situation.
I have personally seen this happen. Unfortunately the person to which it happened to chose to deal with it by becoming a “rave princess” at age 40, projecting her feelings onto me by making me her project, and choosing to engage in copious amounts of party drugs, while subsequently shaming me for socially drinking, as a way to cope. We choose to terminate the friendship because it was not healthy for either of us.
Did you have odd body memories you could not place or find yourself freaking out in random seemingly unrelated incidents?
I personally have questions and speculations as to being a victim of CSA as well. There are very strange and broken memories connected to a memory of me having what I can only describe as an orgasm at age 3 or 4 and I had a name of a perp come to me randomly out of no where while doing lest hand writing. That same name came again this time with my brain screaming “he did it, he did it to his daughter too”. It never happened again and I only think a bout this person in the context of this incident.
A similar thing happened while I was trying to do EMDR but this time my brain screamed at me about my ex assaulting me while I was heavily intoxicated and possibly other times. I did some trauma informed meditation around this incident with my ex, started violently shaking and feeling so nauseous I almost puked. Since then the profound anger towards him has subsided, but the shaking still kinda continues. I again have no feelings towards the suspected perp of CSA.
A few other things to consider. I have STRONG body reactions to EMDR meaning that I will have significant all over body pain after a session. I also had an intense dissociative episode while just casually mentioning childhood trauma during a therapy intake and my brain will sometimes shut down and I will be unable to speak for 30 minutes when a trauma memory is triggered. My therapist and coach think that I disassociate far more than I am aware of and that the “going non verbal” is a combination of level 2 autism and PTSD.
The thing that is weird is that I have minimal strong feelings about incidents where I KNOW I was assaulted. This is except when there was a period of time several months ago when my father stated he never knew I told him these assaults happened (a lie) and provided an extremely invalidating and selfish response to hearing this. My fathers gaslighting (and my pos therapist’s response to this) essentially made me deeply suicidal and led to a hospitalization and abuse at the hands of another therapist because they misdiagnosed me with BPD and didn’t believe me. So gaslighting about sexual abuse happening/reported leading to 2 abusive therapy experiences one of which the licensing board is reviewing for an ethics violation.
Sorry this post went in a different direction
Thank you! Yeah took me a while to realize this . I don’t drink like that at all anymore, but I find my reaction to stopping binge drinking interesting now knowing that I have autism and pretty significant sensory issues
Yep!!! I think that’s a helpful suggestion depending on where the kid is at emotionally or after safety has been established and the rapport is built. The therapist could also bring this up during a play session that has been slightly manipulated to cause slight frustration (ie a game of chance) and keep it super light too. “Like hey…Great job dealing with your frustration at losing this game. I was just thinking. What happened the last time something frustrating happened or you didn’t get what you wanted. (Let kid answer). I heard you use some names that some people might think are not so nice. Why do you think you do that? Can we think of some different ways we can show frustration? (Let kid answer validating “positive choices” and offering alternatives for communication strategies that are not as effective). If rapport is established talk about how one strategy might make someone feel good and one might make this mad and how the client’s emotions respond to this”.
This is a bit more of a client centered behavioral approach that is lighter and play based.
I’m level 2 and drive and worked up until October when my boyfriend gave me the opportunity to stop. It took me a long time to learn to drive due to poor depth perception and visual sensory issues, but the idea of losing my car and license will throw me into a full on meltdown due to a MAJOR trauma trigger. When I worked I was often fired for not fitting in or would become burnt out and/or sick really easily. I worked because I did not have an option to not do so and the things that kept me going were fear of being trapped in an abusive situation and self shaming and calling myself a loser for not being able to work. I had no idea I was autistic because the mental health world refused to even acknowledge I had ADHD, labeled me as borderline, and spent years gaslighting me so me not working meant I was just a piece of shit, not a person with a disability. I never knew how much I struggled until I got the results of my assessment back and I was given the gift of being allowed to stop working and focus on healing not survival.
I’m beginning to wonder if that is what is going on with me. I had HIGH rates of COVID exposure back in the early days due to living in China. Ever since I first got sick in early 2020 (my mom thinks I came back with COVID) my body has been a mess. This combined with severe PTSD makes things very difficult
Covid?
Diverticulitis