Another favorite comeback of mine is, “Let’s see you try surviving two different cancers in the same decade of life, [which I have] and see how you hold up.”

(P.S. — Fear not, Redditors… I kicked cancer’s butt both times.)

The real kicker is that these jabs usually come from people who could stand to lose a few pounds, but I don’t believe in responding to one ad hominem with another. It just stoops to their level, and my hips can’t take stooping anymore.

I’m 5’10½” 125 lb. (179cm 56.5kg) and if I had a sandwich for every time I’ve been told to “go eat a sandwich,” I could treat you all to lunch.

”You know what they say about tall, skinny guys. All the blood’s gotta go somewhere.”

True. They may have already burned that bridge beyond repair. Some things there's no coming back from.

First of all, let me state that you are not, in any way, shape, or form, the jerk. You are a shining example of brotherly or sisterly love. (Sorry, “sibling” sounds too cold to describe a warm-hearted person like you.) You need to stand your ground with your parents. Bigotry and homophobia may be their deeply held beliefs, but you have deeply held beliefs, too, and apparently, those beliefs include love and acceptance.

Now, my parents are reaching out, saying they miss me and want to reconcile. They claim they regret their actions and want to make amends. They say they love both of us and want our family to be whole again.

If their penitence is sincere, give them a chance. But it may involve a “come to Jesus” moment where you have to explain that if they want a relationship with you, they have to accept your sibling as they are. They don’t have to understand it, though with time and patience, they can learn (and, more importantly, unlearn).

I worked for two different McDonalds in downtown Minneapolis in the early 1980s. One was on Nicollet Mall, a couple of blocks from where Mary Tyler Moore threw her hat into the air on the opening credits of her TV show, and it was rather nice. The other was in a section of downtown we called Block E, which seemed to be all of the city’s seediest elements condensed into one city block. That one was a wretched hive of scum and villainy where I got robbed one night. When I turned their backs to fill their order, they hit the button to open the till, grabbed a wad of cash and bolted out the door.

Just a cake? My sister threw a party the day her divorce became final and invited all her friends. Even our mom was there. We never liked the jerk she married anyway.

🚩 It definitely sounds like you were being lured into a baby trap. You’re definitely doing the right thing pursuing the vasectomy route (I was about to suggest it when I got to that part)

When I worked for McDonald's, we had a maintenance guy who doubled as a bouncer (unofficially).

I don’t have a problem with Islam as long as they don’t wave it in my face, but that’s the way I feel about all religions, so they shouldn’t take it personally.

This is actually a subject that has been in the forefront of my thoughts of late, because the gay men’s chorus I sing with is presenting a program about body image at this years GALA Choruses Festival in Miami.

I’m gonna upvote this one just for #3.

I feel your pain. I’m 5ft 10in (179cm) tall and weigh 120lb (54.5kg) and I get all kinds of comments on my weight. Thin shaming is as bad as fat shaming. And the comments are usually in regard to some political conversation. So my typical response is as follows:

“Oh, how clever. An ad hominem reference to my weight. Listen here, bitch, I’d like to see you survive two different cancers in the same decade of life, and let me know how that works out for you.”

They usually crawl back under their rocks after deleting their comment. Shaming can work both ways, people.

While I am an atheist, I have a couple of dear friends who are Christians and Freemasons as well. They both respect my views so I try to be respectful of theirs. (Though one makes "jokes" that seem a little on the passive-aggressive side.)

In the United States, it is generally legal to make a right turn on a red light after coming to a complete stop, unless a sign specifically prohibits it. You must yield to pedestrians and oncoming traffic before proceeding with the turn. It’s important always to check local traffic laws, as there may be variations and exceptions depending on the jurisdiction.

They call them nuclear families because when they split, they tend to do so with a lot of violence and drama.

Start at the beginning. On the Origin of the Species by Charles Darwin.

NTA. It’s funny how black sheep suddenly change colors when the family wants something from them.

Yes, because I sing with a Chorus and have to memorize them.

I agree completely. I apologize if my meaning was ambiguous.

It almost makes me wish I had stayed in my home state of Louisiana, where they have a law like that on the books. If I still lived there I would have probably run for public office by now, with no intention of campaigning or winning, merely for the purpose of being rejected. Then call the ACLU and start the dance.

NTA. And she’s got a lot of chutzpah giving you orders in your own home.

HOAs are okay for multi-unit condominium dwellings (like where I live) for the upkeep of common areas. But for houses they’re more of a headache than they are worth.

My first time was with a Mormon boy. He was smokin’ hot.