1/3
The third slide she sent me a video saying she’s 18 and engaged and that it’s hard paying everyone that she owes money back and that life is is really hard for her rn .am I being to harsh on her?
A pretty cheap lesson on which friend to cut loose if you ask me.
When you give money, expect that money to be gone forever, no matter who asked for it.
Yep - only lend the amount of money you can afford to lose.
Yea I only lend what I don’t need. Like, I keep lending money to the casino and those fuckers never pay me back
Can confirm. I've worked in casino cages as management for over 25 years, us fuckers never pay anyone back.
OP if you read only a few comments here at least read the above. I see so many people on this sub lending money they can’t afford to part ways with. If you can’t afford to give someone 30 to the point where in a matter of days you’ll be hurting, you shouldn’t be giving money to anyone.
Yep. As the good book says “ neither a borrower nor a lender be.”
Learned the hard way not to loan money, even to those you love and trust most, unless you really don’t need it back. Life happens and they might not even be a crappy person, can just be circumstances that change even if their intention to pay you back hasn’t.
Happened to a relative of mine. They sold a house to one of their own family members, and tried to do it as a non-interest cash buy sort of a deal without involving any banks, where the buyer would pay them back the value of the house on some fixed schedule.
Also, the seller was not wealthy, a good amount of their assets/financial value was tied up in this house they were selling.
It doesn’t even take hindsight to see this was an absolutely terrible idea, but my relative was trying to help out someone who would have had trouble buying a house otherwise.
Well, shortly after they did this deal the buyer’s wife was diagnosed with cancer, and all of their money was poured into treatment. So it was years before they could even begin starting to pay back the house. It was just a completely unexpected situation but goes to show how lending money always has risk to it even when it’s nobody’s fault.
I bet the buyer didn’t move out and give the house back though.
Nope nope they did not. I assume my relative could have pursued legal options had they wanted to, but it undoubtedly would have been a flaming shitshow all around and wound up as an AITA candidate.
Life advice 🤌
Even when you trust the person. They might get in a hole financially, or something could happen to them.
nope my brothers girlfriend actually pays me back. not all people are like this. she doesn’t even really use my brothers card for anything and if she does she give him the money back so if he can trust her with money i trust her with money… me and her went out to lunch the other day to catch up, i paired next thing i know i get a text notification saying “sent $30” i texted her back saying “ummm was this meant for me?” she said “yeah, duh you bought my food today” and she would not let me send it back lol 😂
The advice is still sound. Don't burn yourself to keep others warm. Even if a person has every intention of paying you back, things happen. Their house could burn down. They could unexpectedly be laid off. If you only lend what you can afford to lose, you're always protected
I’m not sure why you’re being downvoted, there are people in this life who you can trust and rely on!
"Not all people are like this." I'm glad that you have this positive perception of people and have people in your life that always pay you back.
I also know from your comment that you have yet to come across people who would borrow money from you and burn you. The advice being given is very good advice. People who always trust in others pertaining to money will inevitably find out through experience that, not all people are like this- trustworthy.
I've "payed" plenty of people 20 dollars to know I can't trust them and it's always worth every penny.
well said
i learned this lesson over a ps5. what i would give to have let him borrow $30 instead 😖
You let someone borrow your ps5?
yes. and now it's gone. very dumb i know, but i was busy and not playing games so i didn't mind not having
Damn. I’m sorry about that. I actually let a good friend of mine borrow my GameCube like 12 years ago and they pawned it for drugs. I know the feeling.
I lost $4000 lending to a friend :(
Best 30 bucks you’ll ever spend to find out someone isn’t worth being friends with.
This exactly. Because idc what happens in someones life between the time they borrow and the time they said they’ll pay you back; you come first or they’re not a friend. For instance if I were to ask my friend for $50 Friday and I’ll pay them back Monday; but then Monday rolls around and all I have is $60 and I need gas and food; then that means I only have $10 for gas and food cause that other $50 isn’t mine and I wouldn’t have it if I hadn’t had a friend nice enough to loan me money Friday. Whatever “comes up” for a person in between paying money back is zero excuse cause whatever amount they owe is technically not theirs and is definitively not the problem of the person they owe it to, who has already helped at least once. So yea if that person doesnt pay you back then consider it a fairly cheap price to get rid of a fake friendship. Cause they couldve kept conning if they were smart until it turned into a much more expensive price.
Not without a crowbar and a 5am wake up call
If this has happened to you multiple times, I would just stop lending people money. Make that a hard boundary or people are going to take advantage of you a lot in life.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice.. 🤷🏻♀️
Seems like that saying is different in Tennessee.
Well I know it is in Texas, probably in Tennessee too…
Lol yeah? How does it go
Something like, Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me, you can't get fooled, again.
You forgot the "hehehe" at the end.
I got it😅
Fool me once fool me twice, fool me chicken soup with rice
FOOL ME THREE TIMES
Fuck the peace signs, let it rain on you?
Don’t forget to “Load the chopper” lmao. I was looking for this comment. And here you are.👏🏼
Wow that's so mean why would you do that
Shame on glue
Hey don’t listen to this guy. OP I’m a really good listener but I also really need $50
This this this!
Very relevant comment!
Also, OP:If you’re not good with just saying ‘no’ simply say you don’t have it/can’t afford it/can’t do that. Of course you shouldn’t need to explain yourself, but not everyone is good with just saying ‘no’ so this is a way around it if you are a chronic people pleaser.
You are not being too harsh. She said she’d pay you back by Friday and she didn’t. She had no intention of paying you back from the sounds of it. I hope this is a lesson learned
Yeah, the golden rule for lending money is assume you won’t get it back. If you need that money to function don’t loan it out.
Never give money you’re not okay with never getting back
Yeah, a lot of people are saying this, but it's not about the money lost. I'm sure that OP is bummed about losing the money, but it's more about the complete lack of respect this "friend" ended up showing them.
Money can break friendships. It's honestly best never to loan unless 1. it's someone that has been in your life a very long time and 2. It's not that much money (in comparison to what you make) OR 3. It's a gift and you have no expectations of getting it back (even if they asked for a "loan"). If you protect yourself and follow these rules, you can lend guilt-free and without much harm if there isn't a follow through.
Treat any 'loan' you give anyone as just a gift. If you wouldn't gift it to them don't 'loan' it to them. Tell them they don't have to pay you back.
Otherwise it totally ruins whatever friendship or whatever you had, because then they'll be avoiding you because they know they owe you money and can't pay it back.
I'd say only exception would be if it was a serious amount of money, write a quick contract and all parties sign it. Acting like a bank is just a weird thing to do, but to each their own.
^
Let’s take a deep dive into this one and try to figure it out
“Lent an online friend I knew for two months $30”
Cool, I didn’t have to dive deep at all.
But when the prince of Nigeria emails you directly asking you for help, you help!
Why would I have monkey problems?
And $200 to another person
Lowkey trying to be their friend rn
🤣🤣🤣🤣
You’re not getting paid back. Stop doing this.
I had to learn this the hard way with my sisters sadly
You couldn’t have seriously thought you were gonna get that money back, did you? This person doesn’t even sound friendly.
Pro life tip: never lend money that you can’t stand to lose. And whenever lending money, pretty much always expect to either; 1) give it as a gift, or 2) never get it back; no matter who you lend to.
If this kinda thing happens regularly, you need to start setting some very serious boundaries for yourself. Learn how to use the word “no.” (The word no is a full sentence)
Be thankful that you learned this lesson with such a small amount of money.
Except OP said they also recently lent $200 to a friend and got ghosted 😅 I hope they learn the lesson soon
they also said "am I being too harsh on her?"
op didn't learn anything at all
This dude lost $230 to two separate people he barely knows in less than a month. I really want to know what his transaction history looks like.
OP is the type of personalitry online scammers target.
If you ever wonder who would fall for a scam. Exhibit A
Oh boy… I really hope they learn a lesson… but a pattern is forming here
Stop lending money to "online friends" you've only known for two months. You're not getting this money back.
Bro gave someone else 200 as well is he aware he can say no 🤣
Naw. It didn’t come up on the dialog menu
say it with me “sorry, I don’t have any money to spare” simple. Say it every time. A lot of people will ever pay you back. Don’t let them guilt you. If they keep saying “please,” stand your ground. I will loan to a person 1 time (if I’ve got it and want to) I ask myself this question before I loan it “am I okay financially if I never get this money back?” If the answer is yes, I give them a chance. I never ask for my money back. They knew the terms of the agreement. If they don’t offer up the money they owe me with integrity. Then they go on my list of people who never get money again.
Block this person. You’re never getting the money back. Let them know they ruined any chance if being helped by you again.
It cost $20 to find out she’s a bum. Stop lending out money. You seem like a nice person. Don’t let people take advantage of you. Make it a boundary for yourself.
There’s a difference between being a nice person and being a doormat
Giving money to an online friend is doormat-y behaviour
You want to know what the worst thing about this is OP?! You're questioning yourself, when you really shouldn't. You come across as a kind person who wants to help people out, which I can understand. You're not being harsh by inquiring about a possible date for her to return the money that you lent her. You are also being kind enough to give her an out by asking that she let you know if she isn't going to give you back the money. Whatever you do, this was a lesson learned, but don't allow it to change your kind hearted nature. Just be a little bit more mindful and only lend out money (a certain amount), that you're ok with never getting back.
giving money to strangers you’ve never even met. you’ll learn some day
Why are you giving money to people you know online for two months?
Consider this a lesson learned. Never lend money you need. You have to consider it gone—maybe they will pay you back but you have learned twice in a row now by losing $230. Please let that be the last time. Don’t lend money you cannot afford to give away as a gift.
I know a guy that cannot stop himself from lending people money. He is owed thousands of dollars by just one couple he is friends with, and they keep asking him for more and he keeps giving them more each time they ask! He works a physical job and is working himself to death, injuring and exhausting himself working overtime. He works this much just to give it all away. I asked him how much money in his lifetime did he think he has given out in loans never to be paid back? He thought for a few minutes before responding, “I think $20,000.”
Never lend friends or family money and expect it back.
I learnt the hard way and lost a lot more than you.
You forgot one other category... online friends
Yeah... I'm sorry but this is sooo stupid of OP. I don't tend to lend real friends money, let alone someone I barely even know and met online. I wouldn't ask to borrow money from a friend either, that's a pretty hard line in either direction and it really should not be crossed in most situations.
Knock it off
Hey now, stop that
OP, you’re being too nice, I’m an empathetic person so I am a little too nice to people I shouldn’t be nice to, so I understand why you think you’re being harsh. But this person obviously doesn’t care about anyone and just wants free money that she doesn’t have to work for.
my dad always tells me not to lend anyone money because there is no guarantee they will pay you back. in your case you will not get paid back.
Bro that’s ridiculous. I’d message her man and show him the messages and ask him for the money.
Lesson learned.
I rarely give out money, but if I do;
Anything under $40 I just consider a gift. If I get it back it's a bonus.
I only lend $100 or more to family and even then, they get 1 shot. Pay me back on time, or I'll never lend to you again.
So far, one of my family members has never paid me back on time, so I will never lend them money again, simple.
Wheres my money man, wheres my money
you've been scammed
online friend? So you’re sending people you never met before money? 😂😂😂
Oh for fuck sake. Don’t give anyone money. You’re not a bank if they need money tell them to get a job or ask their mom.
Note to self, don’t lend money that you can’t afford to lose.
Sorry but that’s not your friend and you won’t see that money again. Please stop being so trusting with people that you’ve never met.
You’re never getting the money back. You got scammed
never lend money to someone expecting to get it back. 20 or 30 bucks isn’t a large amount and you should consider it gone. tough lesson to learn but hey, better than losing 2k to a childhood best friend who went back to russia!
doesnt sound like youre in a position to lend anyone money, as kind as it may seem.
No. You’re not being harsh. She is being a dick and that’s all there is to it. “I’m having a hard time paying all the people I borrowed money from back”? Kinda says it all.
Life pro tip from a big sister:
Don’t lend money that you rely on for your expenses and well being. If you rely on getting the money back, you can’t afford to lend it. It’s okay and necessary to say no to people. You can’t bankroll all of your friends.
Stop lending people money.
Really good rule to live by. Treat every lend as a gift. Don’t lend if you can’t afford not to be repaid. This was you can treat a repayment as a gift to you.
Never lend money to friends. Either give it freely, or not at all.
But frankly, it sounds like there are two people you don't need in your life, after reading this.
Only lend people money that you don’t need. Also if you do lend people money don’t expect them to pay you back, because obviously they are broke
You got scammed It’s your own fault She’s playing you and clearly constantly borrows money and NEVER pays it back and wants to use her age as an excuse.
STOP. GIVING. PEOPLE. MONEY!!!!!!! You’re not harsh your a bloody door mat and they know it
This is stupider than subscribing to someone's private snapchat thinking you're special to them
Don’t EVER lend ppl money! You already lost $200 before this? STOP!
That's your fault... Why did you lend out money you can't afford to lose?
Why to a person you never met?
stop sending out your money please
I'm sorry this has happened to you, and you are not being harsh at all. It looks like she is not planning to give you the money back. The last thing she needs to do is to lend money from others when she is not able to pay it back. You want to take care of people and your heart is at the right place, but please do not give out your money to people who you barely know, especially online. Two months of knowing each other is way too less to be even asking for that.
You paid 30 dollars to learn a very important lesson in life. If you ask me, you got off cheap.
$230 at the very least.
You don’t get ptsd from lending money.
Don’t give people money you can’t afford to lose.
Never lend money that you need back
Do not lend anyone money.
Never give an online "friend" money.
Stop being nice to people you've only met online.
Keep cash app requesting money from her. Eventually she'll prob slip up and pay you back.
You’re not being too harsh, but you need to stop lending people money. Never give out money you are expecting back.
$30 bucks is not what I’d expect to get back or worry about. The $200 though that’s just straight disrespect.
This right here is why I just don’t lend money to people. If they’re good friend, I end up gifting it to them. She straight up, lied to you when she said she would pay you back by Friday. She knew she wouldn’t have the money.
Maybe stop giving people money? Just an idea
Jump him
Wait she's engaged and getting money from you? Is her fiance just a bum?
"It's hard paying everyone she owes money to back"
I owed no one at 18. I owe no one now. She's trying to guilt trip you, either cut the loss of the $30 or cut the "friend." Don't loan anyone money you can't afford to lose permanently.
I hear Nigerian proms are 🔥🔥
oh come on.................... "it's hard paying back everyone she owes"
you're never getting this money back and she'll be a distant fading memory within a month
Don't lend money to anyone you don't trust implicitly, and certainly do not lend money to anyone on the internet my man.
Stop lending people money you need
Stop sending people money, simple.
Stop lending people money. You’re a very trusting and caring person, which is great, but other people can sense it and will take advantage of it. Don’t be as trusting.
You lost that money I would stop lending people money especially if you can’t afford to lend to others.
If you don't have money for yourself, you shouldn't lend it out. But, if you do, always remember the possibility of not getting it back. She definitely scammed you.
Always take care of yourself first & if you have excess to share, then that's one thing. A good quote is, "Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm."
am I being to harsh on her?
You were foolish to lend it if you ever expected it back. If you were happy to "donate" it as a gift because you didn't need it and were fine whether you got it back or not then fair enough
When you lend money, do it only if you can spare to neither see it again.
She’s a user.
Stop letting people take advantage of you.
Stop lending money
Stop lending money problem solved also you not getting any of your money back but I promise she’ll ask for more
A friend gave me the best advice once. "Never lend money you aren't going to be okay with never seeing again." I live by that. I'll happily lend money. IF it's someone close to me and it won't cause me undue hardship if I don't get it back.
You are not being harsh enough. These types of people don’t deserve your friendship or generosity. Please stop giving such people access to you.
2 Rules. Don't lend out money if you are not okay with the possibility of not seeing it again. Don't lend money if it leaves you broke.
30 bucks to eject a leech. Not bad.
You definitely weren’t too harsh but.. from experience. Don’t lend money out unless you’re okay never getting it back because chances are people that ask for small amounts of money like that, especially ones you don’t know in person that don’t have to be held accountable too much, are over promising and are never going to get it back to you because they don’t have much to lose if they don’t.
Never lend money you can’t afford to be without.
You aren't being harsh enough. Don't apologize! It's her own problem if she's having trouble paying people back. Maybe that's a sign that she's living above her means. (Definitely. It's definitely a sign.)
Personally, I would be firm and say "you told me you'd pay me back by Friday. I've asked repeatedly when you would pay me back and you keep brushing me off. Send me my money. It's not my problem you have trouble paying people back." Then I would never, ever lend her money again. But that's just me!
Some lessons cost $30
I leant a friend 6k and he paid me back 6k and 1 euro. Decent people will be decent
$30 to know who your real friend isn’t
You should watch A Bronx Tale.
It cost you $30 to get this person out of your life forever. Forget him.
Also maybe stop lending people money unless you’re willing to lose it forever.
Never lend money. You either give them money or you don’t.
Don’t lend out money you can’t afford to not get back. That should be the lesson you get from this.
You weren't harsh. You're not getting your money back. Stop falling for the madness and lending money you can't afford to lose.
I hate to tell you but I don’t think you’re getting that back lol I’d just block this person and move on
You’re too nice dude, stop giving away money you don’t have.
A lesson you should learn is to never give money that you need, never loan out money give it as a gift. If someone pays you back great, if they don’t that’s ok it was a gift. But no man you’re never getting that $30 back.
The minute someone I haven't known for like 5 years or more asks me for money, it gives me the ick.
Don’t lend money you can’t afford to lose
You’re not getting that money back. Lesson learned, at least it was only $30.
Stop doing this bro. It's a scam and they will ask for more if you don't just cut it out.
You're a good person. Im sorry that the world is going to harden your heart.
Loaning money is like gambling Only loan what you can afford to lose
With that being said, it does not excuse this bs Find a better friend…. They’re trash
30$ to not see them again, deal
Never loan friends money unless you plan on not getting it back. Friendships get ruined like that.
If your gonna lend money. You have to be okay with the possibility of never getting it back.
If you lend a friend money and want to keep them as a friend, consider it a gift.
STOP LEADING PEOPLE MONEY
Stop. Lending. Money.
Never lend people money expecting it back. Maybe family, but almost never friends. Not even your best friend. If anyone gives you a hard time about it they aren’t really your friend
Stop giving money to people, especially strangers, and stop being nice to people who borrowed money from you.
Hey, can I get $100? I’ll pay you back on Friday when I get paid 😉
"online friend"👀
Never lend people money... it's worked out great for me.
Yo can i get 100 bucks?
Never lend money and expect it back.
Well some people need to make bad choices to learn . So there you go, do not lend an online friend money 🤝🏽
The fastest way to get a person out of your life is to loan them money.
Forget about that money 💰, that was your life lesson fees 💯
Stop fuckin lending money to people. Especially not people online you’ve only known for 2 years. Oh she’s 18 and engaged, and struggling for money? How is she gonna afford a wedding then?
She’s scamming you man
She is using you. I'm sorry.
Two things about lending money to a friend.
1 - Never loan money with the expectation that you'll really ever get it back.
2 - Never loan money that you can not afford to lose.
If you follow those rules and still want to help a friend, you'll be fine, otherwise, don't do it.
I once lend $1,000 and was promised I’d get it back in full in 2 week and half. Just for them to call me a day before they owned me “hey… soooo yea… I won’t have your money by tomorrow” they asked if they could pay me back in installments $100 a week. I was not happy with it at all. I said $250 weekly! He started to pay me after I threatened to sue him in a Small Claims Court.
After I saw he was being consistent every week with $250 for 3 weeks I let him keep the remaining $250. He didn’t even say thank you! He ghosted me and all our friends in the group chat. Then painted me as the bad person! Like what?!? I was so angry.
Note to self: DO NOT EVER LEND MONEY TO FAMILY OR FRIENDS (unless you don’t want it back). It will ruin the relationship between people for good.
Stop giving people money. Tell everyone you are poor. Even if you are not. fr dude you are just asking to b taken advantage of
First rule of “lending” money is to assume you’re never getting that money back. If you can’t afford to be without that money, don’t lend it.
You did not lent it out, you freely just gave it away
You lost me at "online friend"
That’s called a 30 dollar lesson
You paid 30 bucks ro get him outta your life
Stop giving money to people. Make sure your own stuff is handled first! It doesn't seem like you have enough money to be lending anyways.
I was always taught to never lend money you can’t afford to lose and not get back.
Stop giving people money
You’re not being harsh but if you want it back rn stop saying “no rush” and say when you expect it to be repaid and be firm. You’re not getting this money back so chalk it up to a life lesson. 1 don’t let people use you for money 2 only lend people money that you’re extremely close to and have known for years. 3 let it go (along with the friendship) bc you’re never getting it back.
Can I get $20?
Why would you stay "friends" with someone who scammed you? She's a scammer - she doesn't care about you. Don't be a doormat - you deserve better.
Don't lend money that you're unwilling to lose. Especially to friends
Can you loan me 50 FRIEND?!?!
you said this is something you keep falling for, so why keep doing this to yourself? fool you once, shame on them. fool you twice... well, you know how it goes
Stop. Lending. People. Money.
Update: I GOT MY MONEY BACK🎉🎉🎉🎉 I sent her a request on cash app saying it’s been a week and that I want my money back and she sent it. I definitely learned my lesson on giving money to friends lmao
Can I have $30 bro I’ll pay you back
You’re not being too harsh, but you’re never getting that money back