Hi, I'm 34-cis woman-demisexual w/ high sex drive, and I've identified as Kitchen Table Polyamorous for about a decade in a large city. I have some shorthand rules that have helped me access a wide variety of partners and find more emotionally mature and genuine partners.

I'd love to hear other perspectives and feedback.

  1. It is natural to feel feelings,
    even ones I'm embarrassed to feel. it is my responsibility to be non-dickish about expressing them.

2. No straight men,
mostly because they tend to center themself and their feelings while turning down possible moments of emotional maturity to perform masculinity. It is what societal perception of straightness requires of them. Not to say there arent straight men trying to reprogram, but most of the ones i've dated who are will still get very defensive if I point out sexist or misogynistic behavior that I'm not cool with.

3. No married couples.
I have yet to find a married couple who value the non-marriage partner as a human being who deserves full honesty in the polycule, especially when the marriage is going through rough patches.

4. Being alone should remain a better alternative
than being in a bad relationship. Use therapy and self-reflection regularly to make sure it remains so.

5. Protect my peace.
Drama and Dishonesty is not conducive to a peaceful and enjoyable life for me