Welcome to r/FTM ! Whether you're new here, or you've been here for ages, this is the central hub for all sorts of helpful links, information, and frequently asked questions.
Recent mod posts:
Announcement regarding journalists asking about DIY HRT
After lengthy discussion and a look at the currently active mod team, we have decided that it is time once again to search for some fresh blood within the mod team! I've created an application on google forms for anyone who is interested to fill out. Click here for the link to the application.
Reminder to be honest and only fill out this application if you are truly interested in this position and think you can handle the responsibilities of moderating a large sub that is often targeted by bigots. Keep in mind that as a mod on this sub, you will be exposed to the content the general public doesn't have to see. That includes transphobia, offensive language, explicit language, and NSFW.
The search for mods on the main sub also includes a search for mods for the secondary sub, r/ftmventing . At the moment, I am the only moderator on that sub, and now that it's starting to gain some traction, I will start to need some help. The goal is to onboard several new mods to this sub, and once they are all caught up and comfortable, anyone who is interested will have an opportunity to become a moderator for that sub as well. The rules are basically the same, but it will be a bit more of a draining task, given the nature of the sub. If you're up for it, there will be a section at the end to select if you are interested in potentially modding r/ftmventing . If you are not up to it, don't worry, it won't affect your odds of getting a mod position on the main sub. I don't plan on onboarding an entire group to the newer sub, and instead will be keeping in communication with the mod team and asking for volunteers to help with that sub when needed.
Applications are open until the end of the month!
Some background: Had a blind hookup and despite his age he railed me better than any guy I’ve been with as far as stamina and strength and he was FIT! ANYWAYSSS, near the end he asked me at least ten times if we could meet up again and make this a regular thing. He laid on top of me and held me when he finished and was an extremely generous lover. Offering to send his phone number to keep in touch.
So my curiosity is.. Whats normal with the gay scene? I know nothing about it and all I’ve been exposed to is the crusing thing - which I don’t even understand. I am almost 27 and he is 52.. I don’t know how men that age range behave. He does long motorcycle rides with groups, like shrooms and tattoos. Hopefully that helps you help me. What’s normal for a blind hookup?? I’ve never slept with a complete stranger before and he’s twice my age.. I just don’t want to be weird or think weird things that are just misunderstandings between generations.
EDIT- I personally do not believe all cis gay men are slutty. I am just unknowingly ignorant to it all and lets be real.. I posted this here to learn what not to say or things I need to clear up in my perspective. I said the wrong thing but that’s why I reach out on here in the first place.
This is just a funny and light hearted story about my trans affirming yet misandrist dog lol. I have a tiny border terrier (my best guess since I got him from a shelter) named Chewy. Ever since we got him he’s always hated men and it has always taken him much longer for him to warm up to them in comparison to women.
However, somehow Chewy is able to tell that my pre T trans guy friends are men too and he gets just as angry at them as he does cis men. Chewy even got angry at a friend of mine before he even knew he was trans. My dog is just so committed to hating men he learned how to sniff out trans men too, even ones who don’t know they’re men yet.
My dog has never met a trans woman so I’m wondering if he would be perfectly fine with her lol even if she wasn’t on HRT.
Anyways, yeah, my dog says trans rights but not for men unfortunately. Happy pride month ya’ll!
Edit: Yorkshire to border
It's pride month again, but i never seem to feel proud at all. To me, this life and being trans has only been a burden on my life, it's not something i enjoy or am proud of. I can understand gay pride a lot more, because that's a pride based on love, and being open about who you are. But being openly trans has only caused issues and immense dysphoria and i can't understand how to feel proud of this.. thing. I want to. I really wish i could go to pride, wear clothes from trans artists that say cool things like 'self made man' or 'trans men are men'. But that would put me in a situation where strangers would know. And i wish no one would know.
Maybe this will get easier when i'm able to medically transition, idk. But right now i don't feel any pride in being trans. Does anyone else feel this way?
Hello, weird question. And topic. I am a non-binary trans masculine person. I have had some issues with my girlfriend in the past years. She is cis. She is queer, and also dated girls and trans folks before, but only had committed relationships with cis men. I am the first exception and we have been together 4 years. We really love each other and respect each other's bodies.
She struggled with low self esteem and depression and did not feel like having sex much, but when she did it was only so that I could please her. Which I love to do. But . She did not do anything for me since before my top surgery ( over two years ago). She always says that next time or the next day she will, and then for whatever reason, it never happens. Then she forgets about it and the next time it happens the same.
In the beginning of our relationship I had issues because of dysphoria, and she told me she got scared of making me feel worst by touching me. But since then I started hrt, had top surgery and I feel now very confident in my body.
I am starting to think that she genuinely does not understand that I can't get off by fucking her, maybe unconsciously because of her previous relationships she thinks I don't need to be pleased in another way?
Honestly it makes me feel gross, like ashamed of needing it, because it is not taken into account and it just feels like an inconvenience, something that gets forgotten and it really hurts me. If I don't bring it up, she completely forgets and does not care about it, but when I bring it up, it makes her feel awful, but then her behavior does not change.
I just needed to put it out there. I talked to her about it several times, but the situation just repeats itself. I understand that sometimes she does not feel like having sex because she is depressed, or sick, but at this point, it is clear that it is not a coincidence, because it happens every time.
Can someone relate?
Hey guys,
So i'm getting closer to my endo appointment to start my transition.
And i will have to come out to people soon. I know there will be people
who will keep saying "you will always be a woman" or "your DNA will always be that of a woman" and all that type of bs lol.
What is the best comeback/reply to these type of transphobic insults?
Much love to my transbrothers out there <3
I just got my first packer the other day - uncut, matches my skin tone well, great texture. Taking it out of the box and touching it for the first time was amazing, it feels like a real cock. It got me thinking of my old boyfriends, when I’d lay down and stare at their dicks and play with them, not for pleasure but from curiosity. Foreshadowing lol.
I didn’t think I had bottom dysphoria until I put it in my boxers and looked at it (and maybe stroked it). The experience was so erotic, and my bio parts got hella wet. I’ve found myself lounging with it out and positioning it so I can look at it between my legs - it’s both erotic and emotionally gratifying, and truly feels right. In public I also get excited knowing I have this half visible secret that no one would truly notice unless they’re staring down my junk.
I’m curious, did anyone else feel turned on by their OWN packer?
Ok so for context i am 18, autistic(this is somewhat important) and about to start testosterone My father with whom i do not have the best relationship found out that im starting t soon And just a few minutes ago we had a conversation where he asked the following of me: 1)he wants me to preserve my egg cells, because he thinks i should have that option if i ever want kids, now, i am the last person that should ever be a parent especially to an infant because due to my sensory issues i can get really aggressive which would inevitably harm the child if theyre for example screaming a lot, i also have bpd and i dont think i will ever have a good enough grip on that to provide a stable emotional environment to raise a healthy child in 2)he wants permission to use my egg cells, donor sperm and a surrogate to make grandchildren for himself that he says i wont ever have to be involved in, which means my mom who desperately deserves a break from raising kids would have to take care of more children because he sure as hell wont do that, especially considering he doesnt have that long left to live with his lifestyle I told him i would think about it but in reality i already know im not agreeing to any of that, i feel gross and sick to my stomach, so support and advice on how to properly handle the situation are much needed Thanks for reading if you got to this point
I've recently been talking with my boyfriend alot about sexuality, and he dropped the bomb and said that he would never date a real man because he's not attracted to dick. I don't know if this is a me problem but that statement made me a bit uncomfortable as a trans man, how should I approach this?
Dips might give/aggravate rib pain for some people. My rib slipped a couple of days ago mid sleep and I woke up to a world of pain. I sweated through the sheets crying. I didn't make the connection of starting them at the gym, finding them painful and suddenly getting binding aches after no previous issues. I honestly thought it was my sports bras getting tighter from weight gain. I've been so dysphoric and tired since I've had to take more binding breaks lately due to said pain.
Doctors and physiotherapists doesn't recommend one to do dips if one sustain pain doing them even with good form (armpits out, core engaged and no flared elbows.) It's according to said googling result appearently a common anatomical variation of the pectorial muscles inserts causing it. There is plenty of cases of it causing costeochondritis in people and even cases of fracturing of ribs mid set with them. I had no idea.
So if it feels like your ribs are escaping your chest during dips with good form. And get crackling aches from binding after... Try substituting them with decline bench, close grip bench and do tricep pushbacks unilaterally. I was so close to developing full on chronic costeo all because my hypermobile weak ass feels pain from all exercise and didn't register it was that bad. Pain is no joke. Stay strong dudes!
TL;DR: There are counterindicators towards doing dips if they hurt you with good form. They might aid your costeochondritis in progressing and even fracture ribs mid set. It's all due to anatomy. Try substituting them with close grip or decline bench press if you're a sufferer.
I remember mine clear as day honestly. It was the start of 4th grade, picture day. I remember I had a blue and green dress. It was my favorite dress for the last year since I wore it in my 3rd grade pirate play. I remember I was in the classroom at some point between pictures and lunch and all of a sudden a switch just. Clicked. It was so sudden where I looked down at myself and my first thought was "I don't feel right. I shouldn't be wearing this." I don't remember anytime I wore dresses after that. Not even skirts. I got my hair cut shorter, I did martial arts, I was into gaming and pizza and stuff which obviously isn't a "boy" thing but to little elementary school me it was pretty damn masculine. I even convinced my Nana to let me wear a button up, tie, and black jeans when I attended a wedding with her. That whole time I still felt like something was missing though. I couldn't really figure out what, not until 6th grade when I even learned what being trans was. And it took me a while to even accept that I was a full blown man, not just nonbinary or a demiboy. I remember being called sir by strangers or being called a boy by younger kids and having this weird feeling where it didn't feel wrong but I wasn't in a proper mental place to know it was right yet. And now I've been on T for almost 3 years and had top surgery in January. I think younger me would be extremely proud of me for the life I've built for him. Transitioning filled that hole and really made me look back on my life and realize why I never felt like I 100% fit in with girls and why I wanted to be called a "boy" name by teachers.
I'm homeschooled and one of my best friends promised that one day they would take me to prom. They found out that there's an underground queer prom in our town and we started preparing right away.
The theme was Mount Olympus. My friend and I are obsessed with Greek mythology (no surprises since we're both queer and nd), so I tried to look for outfits that men wore in ancient Greece.
The closest I could find was a dress.
I ordered a pink toga dress (I've been on a pink kick recently) and I love it so much.
I went last night. I didn't get misgendered *once*. I wore a pronoun pin, yes, but still... Nobody called me *she*. My trans tape wasn't flattering me and I was in a *dress* but everyone still knew that I was a boy.
I had the time of my life (I also had one of the worst panic attacks of my life at around 3am but I think prom makes it better). AND there was a drag show. It was amazing. Sometimes, being transgender is pretty cool.
so I'm 17 right now, turning 18 this year. I had to immigrate to Poland in 2022 due to some reasons and now I feel hopeless. I have to stay here for at least 2 years more because I have to finish school. and the situation is awful around here. surgeries can only be performed after the gender marker in your passport has been changed, and to do that you have to SUE YOUR PARENTS. I just don't know how I'm going to survive 2 more years to immigrate again to somewhere better. I'll be 20 and it just makes me cry. I hope to receive some advice on how to survive and manage my dysphoria, and also where in Europe is the best place to go. I hope I won't die in this body.
I work on a bar, last time I worked on a bar was years ago when I was still in denial about being a transman. It's wild to me how casually cis men touch each other. Obviously the bar can get packed and we don't have much room to move behind it so it can be a squeeze when busy. And everyone is constantly moving trying to get orders done.
One guy accidentally elbowed me in the shoulder and then grabbed me and rubbed my shoulder for me with a quick sorry. Same for anytime I've accidently bumped into one of the guys. When they walk past me I often get a pat on the shoulder or back. If I'm in the way its always a hand on the shoulder, waist or back and sometimes a gentle push. When one of my supervisors (we're all in our 20s but I'm at least 4 years younger than most my coworkers) is talking to me I'll have an arm round my shoulder or somehow they are grabbing me. If I'm pulling a pint and they also need the same tap they'll put their hand on top of mine and we joke flirt. Then there's the classic shadow boxing or fake fighting that happens. They will even consenually slap each other on the ass every now and then but that's rare.
Only the guys are this touchy with each other. They're still friendly with the girls we work with but they never include them like this. We have pet names, we fake flirt and when on shift I'm often being casually touched by my male coworkers. I don't mind the physical contact, honestly it's just nice being included and seen as a man. Being in this environment again as a man compared to how I was treated when I was socially seen as a woman has been a head spin for sure.
Specifically more in your childhood. Or "common" signs that others had that you didn't, just like what made you insecure that you might not really be trans?
like do most trans people really have signs or knew around/under age 3-6??? i didn't i was a typical girly girl and i guess felt like a girl? but maybe just because that's what i was expected and influenced to like, i don't know
edit: thank you for all the replies
so what it says in the title basically,i’ve always been pretty skinny naturally, but recently my mom has been trying to get me to eat more
so today while making me a second lunch, she finally confessed that she is concerned about me losing a lot of weight because i used to have bigger boobs than her and now she „can’t see anything there“
glad the tape is working i guess??
is there any way i can play this off without telling her that i’m binding? worse comes to worse its not the end of the world if she does find out but it’s also not ideal hahah
thanks :,)
I'm pre everything so I pass like 50% of the time until I speak. I had to work with someone I didn't know in one of my classes who didn't know my pronouns (but knew my name which is a masculine name). Well they were talking to the teacher and kept referring to me as she. I have never ever corrected someone when they misgender me, I'm always so afraid to do it and I'm worried people will think I'm rude. Well that day I guess I was feeling courageous and I told her straight up I'm a guy. She seemed kind of confused but was incredibly apologetic. I think this just goes to show that I'm allowed to correct people and I don't have to always worry about something bad happening when I do! Yay! Congrats to me!
hi! so i've heard from several sources that apparently if you do low dose hrt for a while first while your voice is changing you'll end up with a deeper voice than if you start and continue with a high dose, is that true?
ive tried looking for more proof or maybe some scientific research about that but couldn't find anything so id really appreciate any input from people who know more about it! i crave deep voice so badly but im also impatient about changes so idk if i should lower my dose for this or keep it higher.
thanks yall!
I have to wear liners daily thanks to The Slime™ and an extremely irregular cycle (plus i just feel more comfortable wearing them), but I'd like to try boxer briefs. I'm aware that there's boxer briefs designed to be worn during a period, but those are way out of my price range right now.
I went to the pride parade today. Had a blast trying to figure out the lower voice version of WOOOO!!! Now my throat is in agony and I must communicate via flashcards.
STILL WORTH IT!!
It's so awful! I can't do anything because I get too dysphoric. I'm pre T so it's really small and the toys I see online won't work for me. I'm also broke so I can't afford one of those sucking thingies. I can't touch any part of myself specifically associated with femininity without hurting emotionally.
Has anyone else had voice drops one right after the other?
I'm currently 4 months on T, and I had a voice drop already. But like 2 weeks after my voice started cracking and I'm having a hard time keeping it level.
I love that it is changing, it feels like its happening fast.
The women im my family usually have big hips and big thighs, small shoulders. My dad and my brother are both skinny, flat stomachs, kinda muscular and broader shoulders. Most men in my moms side of the family have the same skinny body type (except the alcoholics) I have the same body type type as my mom but I weight a bit more so my thighs are bigger and so is my stomach. Tbh I don't wanna gain weight and get even more of a gut and be curvier than my male relatives... I know it's likely that I'll gain weight on t but I'm wondering if genetics play a part. Or is it just exercise? Food?