If you didn't have to send your kid to daycare, would you still send them?

socialization but also being sued to being away from home, following a routine etc. He will have to do that at school, unless you plan on home schooling.

For me unless there are financial reasons not to, I'd send the kid to daycare, but all families are different and that's fine

My 3-year-old loves her friends at daycare, she gets more socialization with kids her age than she would at home. So yes.

I would send them part time. Give them a chance to socialize and get into a routine but also get more time with them than full time. Perfect balance

We made the decision to start our little ones at preschool/daycare around 2 years old for socialization. It's amazing how much they grow and learn and develop at that age, and I think it's important to make sure that socialzing is a skill they learn in that stage of development.

Technically we don't have to send my son to daycare. My wife is between jobs. We absolutely do send him to daycare because socialization and playing and language learning (we live in a country where we don't speak the language natively at home) But also my wife then doesn't burn out from being a Stay at home mom. She can do stuff like go out for coffee, go to the spa and look for a job.

Plus he is 6 and so starting school in the fall so preparation for that is important. But he has been going since he was 1.5 so he would be crushed if he didn't go.

It also only costs us 1200 euro per year to send him to full time daycare. So it doesn't hurt us to keep him there.

"Socialization" is bandied about in these discussions but it's good to break down what that means. Having your kid in daycare will let them experience these things while in an early developmental stage:
* making friends * having a non-parent in charge of them * making enemies * being part of a group * recounting their experiences to you afterward * dealing with conflict (huge benefit)

The routine aspect is a big positive. Education, not just the actual stuff being taught, but also the structure of the formal learning process, as well as motor skills since lots of it is literally "hands on."

My 14mo absolutely loves the heck out of daycare and has learned a ton from her teachers there. Knowing what I know now I'd definitely take her even if I didn't have to.

Daycare def helps with socializing. Another thing to remember is the first time they start going to daycare, they will start bringing a lot of viruses home. Would get sick frequently. I do think thats all part of developing immunity. But you will def get days where you cannot send him to daycare after he starts just because of the viruses. And get ready coz you will catch all of those too. Its almost as if you are developing immunity with them as well. You get equally sick lol.

Every family is different. We feel strongly that we would not put our 1-year-old in daycare. My wife is a SAHM; if that were not an option, we would be relying on grandparents. We will absolutely do preschool, probably starting at age 3, depending which of the local programs we get into. This is the best arrangement for our family for many different reasons--financial, emotional, cultural, etc. Most of all, this time is brief and precious, and mom and baby are both loving being together.

Daycare is the right choice for many families and that's great--absolutely nothing wrong with it. But it is a myth that enrolling children under 3 in daycare is necessary or important for their social skills and development. Our understanding from speaking with our pediatrician and reviewing the research is that center-based daycare for children under 3 is basically a wash from a developmental perspective. The highest quality centers may deliver some modest benefits; average and lower quality may cause harm; on both sides we're talking about very small differences that are probably swamped by the many other decisions you make as a family. It is true that high-quality preschool for 3- and 4-year-olds is benefical, but daycare is not preschool and age 2 is not age 3.

If having your son at home is working well for your family, there's no reason to mess with that. These first years go so fast--before long he'll be in school anyway, and you'll never get this time back.

I’m a stay-at-home dad and I’d do it in a heartbeat. We missed the deadline last year and I resigned myself to doing this for another bunch of time. He’ll go to school starting in August. Can’t come soon enough!

Absolutely not.

Along with all the other responses, the things that he comes up with randomly has skyrocketed. Games he learns from other kids, fun words he learns there. Talking about his favorite teacher, and his favorite peer.

Plus now he has a friend or two that he likes to hang out with outside of preschool. Makes park time much better for parents because they play together instead of constantly only wanting to engage parents.

Wait til preschool. You won’t regret it. Socialization can happen in lots of ways. It’s an overhyped and underdelivered aspect of day care. There are more negatives than positives but many in daddit will tell you otherwise as a means to justify their own decision.

Preschool teacher here so use my input or don’t.

At that age separation anxiety is going to be a beast. If you don’t need to send him- I’d look at other ways to promote socialization like library story times, park time when it’s busy, play dates with other parents. Yea the school environment is great. It’s my full time job- I think we offer some pretty cool opportunities. But, you only get a chance to hang out with your kid once. You only get so many waking hours with them. If it isn’t a necessity that you send him now, and you’re planning to enroll him at 3– I say wait. Enjoy your time hanging with him.

I would recommend checking with schools you like for wait lists and such knowing you want to enroll at 3. Depending on your area sometimes they can be a doozy.

our boy just turned 1. He wont be going to daycare until at least 3. I've read that before 3 socialization doesn't matter all that much. But being with parents does. We do have enrolled in Gymnastics and take him to a park to meet others.

Yes, we put our son in daycare for 2 days a week for socialization, especially since he was a covid baby. The transition from home to daycare was rough but it made the transition to kindergarten so much easier. He was also behind a bit in speech and caught up quickly after being in daycare.

Honestly it's a tough call. The socialization aspect is big but family bonding is also important. If cost is a factor and you can swing it financially, I'd probably wait until Pre-K. Of course every kid is different and yours might really enjoy it.

My mother in law owns a daycare and is a professor of early childhood education. She’s the first to tell you to use daycare as a last resort.

Babies and toddlers can’t regulate themselves. There’s some pretty good evidence that cortisol levels are elevated in children who attend daycare regularly and those levels don’t return to normal until later in the evening in the presence of their parents.

You expose them to a higher overall viral load, which despite the narrative that ‘herd health’ is a good thing, this constant exposure to virus and infection is another stressful thing on the body, and likely affects true learning.

Now every kid has a different temperament and circumstances are different for everyone, but I think if you can avoid daycare unless absolutely necessary you’ll be making the right choice for your child.

This may be hard to see at 20 months but what I notice about my daughter is that she is extraverted and LOVES socializing. She likes being around other children. So the social aspect of daycare is very good for her.

That said, on the flip side I am an introvert. I hated daycare through and through and probably would have thrived better in a smaller setting or just at home.

It's not the focus of your post, but....what do his caregivers want? Would this give you more time to focus on yourselves, on your career, on your relationship? Would grandma like a break? These are important questions too.

I'm a SAH father and I kept both my kids home with me until they both turned 2. Then we did partial a few days a week for a bit. Daughter is in Kindergarten now and my son stays home with me on Mondays and does two days at a daycare and two days at an outdoor school.

We are using my flexibility to try and give the kids a bunch of different experiences. There are so many options available to you in your situation it doesn't need to be one or the other. Do what you think will work for you in your situation. Good luck!

2.5 y o that we started in daycare just past 1yr. I would absolutely send them againif I didn't have to (at least for a few days a week).

-At some point, they will have to go away from the family to school- better to get them used to this when they are younger.
-Nursery has been great for their development- not only for socialisation, but they watch and copy a LOT of stuff from the other kids (mine just WOULD NOT use a fork to eat with until they saw other kids doing it). They also have trained workers at our daycare who know an awful lot about child development. Though I'd hate to think anyone else is "raising my kids," just having another influence and way of looking at their development has been useful.
-On that note, we try to do stimulating stuff as much as possible at home, but it's hard to come up with all the stuff they get at daycare. I genuinely think that ours gets a bit bored by the end of their days at home- deapite our best efforts.
-I can say this with certainty (my job's working pattern is inconsistent but nursery days can't be, so I get a lot of days when the little one is in nursery and I'm at home): having those days where I can just do the grownup stuff I have to do, and the grownup stuff I want to do (go to the gym, walk the dog, clean the house, life admin and do hobby stuff) is just... just great. I love my toddler, but if all I did was look after them and work, I'd probably go insane.

Currently not in daycare, but doing just the two parents, with flipped night-day work schedules, and it's kind of driving us up the wall. It's us, all day, every day. Our child has higher demands than we can truly meet, in my opinion, and the adults essentially have no time to themselves. Hoping we get into a daycare in the near future for even a day or two. So, technically, we "don't have to," as there's total coverage of her week and day routines, but we really want to.

I was in a position where we didn't have to and we did.

Eventually you need a break and they need socialization

Yes.

The socialization aspect of it is immeasurably beneficial. Seeing other children their size doing things they havent quite learned how to do will help them learn how to do it in a way no adult can possibly replicate.

Consider going up and down stairs, sure I can show my kid how to do it, and I can hold their hand while they do it, but I barely need to bend my knee to lift my foot high enough to go up a single stair, a toddler is bringing their knee right up to their chest, dealing with that imbalance can be hard. so while we offer our hand to keep them stable, watching another kid who learned how to counter-balance themselves on their own while lifting their leg up to their chest will help your kid learn how to do stairs on their own faster than just waiting for them to get a bit taller

Definitely, but from age 3 (if it is financially feasible of course)!

Our guy went to daycare at 11 months because my wife had to go back to work. I felt worried that he was too young but he loved it and within a week I could see leaps of development. We are engaged involved parents and always have been but we cannot provide what he gets at daycare.

There are tons of great reasons to send them. Introduction to different learning mechanisms, routines, socialization, structure, etc... But, you can also maybe do 3-4 days a week. We do 4 and it's a nice setup.

My 2.5 year old loves seeing his friends at daycare, so I can definitely see the social benefits of sending him. I would rather the kids stay home with one of us and take him to all the things like gymnastics, swim, and some kind of mother's day out activity.

We started 2 halfdays a week preschool when he was two and gradually increased the amount of time each year. At 4, he was in prek 5 halfdays a week and then K was 5 days from 9-3. I stay at home and felt like that was a good transitional amount and we still had plenty of time together.

Yeah, we had a tough situation that made us send my kid earlier than we intended, but he loves it. He’s made a lot of really good friends and in addition to the socialization and introduction to structured “classroom” settings he genuinely learns quite a bit as well. Of course there are challenges and tough days, but I think his life is much richer thanks to daycare and preschool.

I also think the benefits to parents are understated.

If you have the option, part-time might be a better balance though. 30-40 hours a week is a lot for most toddlers.

My boys loved day care...my oldest (14) is still friends with a girl he met in daycare...he was just over at her house last weekend and they're pretty much besties.

Both my kids have stayed home, but my oldest went to 3 years of part-time preschool at the local YMCA and my youngest starts preschool next year.

Oldest is off to Kindergarten in the fall and will do a few weeks long day camps this summer.

Due to financial reasons, we didn’t start our son in daycare until he was basically 3.5. I got a job that was a massive windfall I couldn’t afford to let slip away, so he started going. I felt like it was the perfect age since he can tell us things, have friends, and now we’re trying to get him to use the potty like his friends do, using a bit of peer pressure lmao.

My wifes job would allow me to be a SAHD but no way. In order to be sane i need some alone time and to talk to adults. I love my daughter but it can be exhausting to watch her everyday.

We did the "grandparents watch him at home" thing for the first year and change before we started really looking into daycares. The original plan for our kiddo was to send him to daycare in March 2020.

Whoops.

One of the biggest reasons we really started pushing again was because he had significant speech delays, and nothing we could do at home would shake them. He just did. not. want. to. talk. We also noticed that his grandma spent the majority of the time just kind of lounging on the couch watching TV and not playing with him that much.

Luckily, we found a daycare that was fine with him going part-time. He ended up starting in June that same year, just two days a week. It gave my in-laws some of their weekdays back (and it gave us a few days without a house full of people during the workday).

Anyway, it didn't take long after he started for him to start playing with friends and talking. It was like something flipped a switch.

Was it a significant financial investment? Absolutely. But it definitely paid off. Now he's articulate and ended up very well-prepared for his first year of Kindergarten, which wraps up this week.

I would honestly say send him.

I would 10000% send my kid to daycare, or more accurately, preschool.

I want them out of the house, dealing with other people, getting used to strangers, and frankly I want my wife and I to have the peace of mind to play hooky from work once in a while and go out for a mid day hike, lunch, or adult beverage.

My kid LOVES her preschool friends, she's like a different person there. Around our friends and their kids she's timid and shy but at school (I'm told) she's a social butterfly, vocal, etc...

I'm glad she's got a place to develop another part of her personality without the peering eyes of her parents.

Both my sons were born during the pandemic so by necessity they had to stay home quite a bit.

My oldest turned three in January and we had him enrolled in preschool by April. I don't think mom and I slept much the night before the first day. But homeboy has adapted incredibly well. And now most mornings he's standing by the door ready to go as soon as we get his outfit on him. Gets his little monster themed backpack and lunchbox and he's ready to go.

It was a little tough on that first day and during that first week. I've been a SAHD since he was born so he's been with me everyday for his whole life, ya know? But he's doing really well, it helps that he's developed a good bond with the teacher and her aide. It's also helped him start enjoying different things. We have a playground right across the street from us and he generally didn't care much for it when we've taken him. But now because of school he's found parts of the playground he enjoys, like climbing, and hanging out in the lofts and stuff.

I'd say go for it and get the little one going. Once you get past that first week or two and get settled into the new routine you'll be good to go.

Dude, my kid (21m) loves daycare and she's learned so much, she screams "YAYYYYY" when we tell her shes going. She talks about her friends and is excited to see them and socialize. Every day she's learning about dinosaurs, bugs, plants, family, growing up, jobs, dancing, doing arts and crafts, all sorts of stuff. Stuff that I could never have the money or energy to do with her daily while being WFH. It's a rough transition, but it's 100% worth it.

We did a 'just for 3's' program before putting my daughter in pre-k. She loved it. It was two days a week for like 4 hours so it wasn't too terrible cost wise, it was a 'safe' way for her to learn how to socialize with her peers (she's an only child). Also since it's 'school', there's pedagogical reasons to want a child in some sort of schooling even that early.

I was slightly daycare skeptical. Never went myself. My son was watched by no one but my wife and I until he hit 24 months, and then we out him in daycare three school days per week. It’s been fantastic. He has learned so much, gotten a ton of socialization, his speech eventually exploded, and it generally keeps him occupied with more fun activities than we might be able to do at home. It’s also made it easier for us to deal with the other kid we have that’s under 2 still and has similarly never spent a single hour out of our care in the 14 months he’s been on this earth. I’m hoping to put him in at 2 years old as well.

I was wondering the same thing, but my kid's (18m) socialization skills are clearly benefiting, he's making friends, and they do a huge variety of fun games and activities that I wouldn't have thought of myself. So I definitely think it's helping him.

My kiddos development skyrocketed when she started daycare at about 16 months. She was in a group of children ranging from 18 months to 2 1/2 years and I think that really helped a lot of things like her social skills, vocabulary, and helped her try new things.

Yes! My in laws cared for my daughter and I thought it was just fine. She went to daycare and just blossomed she didn’t care for kids her age and would walk to the older kids room sit down and look through books and play with stuffies. Her abcs got really good and everyday she couldn’t wait to go. That said every kid is different but I wish we had sent her sooner.

I am pro day care to help with socializing, learning, and make chores at home easier. But I don't think it's absolutely necessary as you can probably teach him a lot of stuff as parents and save a lot of money. Also at home there is more consistent care givers and less sickness.

Pretty sure he's autistic like me; routine is very important for him. Even in the summer, as a teacher, I don't pull him out more than one day every two weeks, say. Also, we pay the same amount of money whether he's there or not, and there's no real option to switch to part-time for two months and then back to full-time. We have ten-dollars-a-day daycare, so no one really uses part-time.

And he loves it. Different toys, his friends, they do art all the time...

He also is an only child, lives in two houses (we use daycare to transition between parents, unless they're closed for a holiday), lives on a street with no other small children when he's at my house, and has speech apraxia, so his development is so much better since starting when he was about 20 months old.

My oldest goes 3 days a week. He went in not knowing a word of English. He was the first baby in both families and born in the pandemic. The socialization has been amazing. He also learned to speak English in 2 weeks.

It gave us a little break to run errands and clean the house too. Daycare is great if you can find a good one

My kid would be bored as fuck with only me and my wife for stimulation all the time. Socializing with kids their own age is important, and I certainly don't have the training to properly teach her. My kid definitely knows stuff I would have never thought to teach her.

God yes.

Never sent our kid to daycare. She briefly did the pre-preschool thing at 3 before Covid shut that down. She did preschool at 4. Kindergarten has been great. Preschool does all the things I keep seeing people suggest daycare does for them. She learned the socializing and the structure from preschool alone at a significantly lower cost. I'm a stay at home dad, and I wouldn't trade that time I got with her for anything.

Sahd here.

Wouldn't have it any other way.

Could I work and have the kid in daycare and maybe have more money at the end of the day? Yeah.

But it's not worth it.

At the very least, I want to wait until my son is able to tell us if something bad happens to him while he’s under somebody else’s supervision.

We have a 9 year old and a 4 year old. 9 year old went to daycare starting at 8 months. He learned to dress himself, eat by himself, was exposed to more foods so he’s not a picky eater, learned to regulate emotions, learned to socialize…. Our 4 year old is a covid kid. Didn’t go to daycare until he was 3. We have to constantly feed him because that’s what he’s been used to staying at home. He’s very picky about what he eats. Only eats chicken nuggets or Mac and cheese. He has a hard time emotionally and had tantrums and outbursts. Big difference between these two based on the day care environment or lack thereof.

We did not have to send my kid to daycare as my wife is still at home. She does need the extra time to herself to look for a job, and also it's a much needed break. One huge upside has been, even after only a week, my kid has started walking independently. She was a very late starter, her main mode of transportation has been her knees. Although she can walk, she refused to do it if she wasn't holding our hand. After just a few days in daycare, she's running all over the place! Money well spent.

Hi older dad here. Short answer: yes.

Didnt start daycare/preschool until 4 and that seemed a good age. Did half days at first and then at school age did an afterschool program on site and it all seemed to turn out pretty well for what that's worth. It teaches socialization, regulation, and basic skills, even on the days when they don't like it. Good luck!

Hey, I went through this. There’s a scientific study that basically equates benefits of daycare with quality of joke life. It states that if the kid has a great home life full of stimulation and love, it’s best not to send them to daycare, but if home life is a struggle, lacking routine or attention, it’s better to send them to daycare.

On the back of this information, we kept him home. We did ramp up our utilization of the local library’s free children’s programs, though, so he is getting plenty of socialization with other kids, while also hanging out with our nanny and me all day (to the detriment of my own sanity now that he’s 2.5 but hey, he starts pre school in September.

No, and we’re not. My wife always wanted to stay home anyways so we’ve worked hard to make that happen. I don’t think there is anything inherently wrong with daycare (my Mom is an ECE) but for us, there’s a few reasons it isn’t something we’re interested in. One being the cost, even with the lower cost ones in my area, it’s still a pretty big expense. Another being that I’m immunocompromised and my health would suffer significantly if I were to get sick so much which seems inevitable with daycare. Finally, it’s just nice to spend time as a family and grow that attachment more. Again, nothing wrong with daycare and lots of ways to build secure attachment and send your kid, but for us since we don’t have to, it makes sense not to.

Yes. Every day. We need to breathe. Kiddo needs to Reflect in other adults and kids their age. My kids love daycare. Sometimes we struggle when we collect early lol.

Yes. They need the experience and the interaction and the stimulation. You can't provide them with that type of healthy environment no matter what.

20 month olds don't need "socialisation". Children between 0-3 are still forming attachments. If they can be at home minded by you or a trusted person that's definitely a better option.

Erica Komisar has done a lot of work and research on the psychology and development of children and the benefits of staying home vs. childcare. Worth checking out her work.

I wouldn't.

I don't trust random daycare workers with my kids

I don't like other people's random ass kids around my kids.

I'd find some other activity we could go do that would help them socialize with people and kids I know.

T-ball, etc.

So, it depends on your kids and your lifestyle. Statistically kids are better off at daycare. They develop many social skills that are useful all life long, they learn hierarchies and rules, how to handle conflict, and even negative emotions. It's a very stimulating environment made for them.

On the negative side they get sick not often (although it's useful as it gives immunity to many things), some kids struggle to be away from parents (although it has to happen at some point).

If I could, selfishly I'd keep him home or, at least I'd only take him 3 times a week, on the other hand, he's better off going, and when we're home together we appreciate it more and do many fun things together

Part-time daycare was great for us! My daughter gets to play with her friends and learn to be a bit for independent. They also have a gymnastics coach that comes to her school that she is part of. Plus having guaranteed childcare for the most part can be a lifesaver when you really need it. We recently started her on full time, now that she is 3, but she only goes 9-3 just like she would for regular school. We often still take days off to spend time with family or go on playdates with other friends. We are flexible with it.

Also another benefit for us has been the germ exposure. If you plan on doing public school it's great to have your child exposed to all the nasty germs and build immunity when it doesn't matter if they miss a few days of school rather than when they start kindergarten.

I hate that my son has to go to Daycare but he's blossomed so much since going and they are helping me with some of the issues that his mother caused. So Yes, I would have him go even when I have a day off here or there, maybe not a full day but I want to maintain his routine.

We sent our first born (boy) at 15 months, and our second (girl) at 18 months. Both to Montessori. We didn't have to, but we wanted our kids to socialise early on and stimulate their neural and physical development in a controlled and structured setting. They are 6 and 3 respectively and we truly feel it has helped them.

We had a nanny for the 1st year b/c we wanted him to build up more of an immune system (whether that it works that way or not, I don't know). He started daycare 2 days a week and we have the nanny 3 days a week and soon that will be 3 days at daycare and 2 with nanny. The only reason we still have the nanny, is purely selfish. We like having him at home, but the progress we have seen him make from interacting with other kids is wild.

We could have kept the nanny until pre-school, but I am glad we did it the way we did. I think they will prep him even for pre-school better than we/the nanny could.

We send our 2.5 year old 2 mornings a week. We questioned whether we were doing the right thing and nearly pulled him a couple of times because he hated it and we didn't need him to go, we just wanted him to go for social reasons. He started at 2, and it's taken 6 months for him to start actually enjoying it. But it's really nice him coming back and saying something I wouldn't have thought to teach him, or show him, or him singing a song I'd completely forgotten about, trying food that I don't like. It's why we sent him, and I'm glad we did now. But it was a horrible process getting here.

Financially, I would never pay to send my kids to day care if I could avoid it. Emotionally, I think they get more life skills out of learning to socialize and navigate their peers than they would at ahome. If money were no object, I would probably have them in day care part time, add then home with a parent or grandparent the other part.

Probably, for the socialization and to give us a little break during the day. 

My wife absolutely doesn’t want to be a SAH parent. I could do it, but I think given the choice I’d rather not. 

Assuming cost and schedule aren’t a factor. 

I paid $1000 a month for 2 years. If I could've the kid would've stayed home.

See if thay day care has 1/2 day enrollment option. Also not to scare you but be prepared for your kid to be sick almost every month. My kid started prek last August and hes been sick Dam near every 6 weeks off an On. We actualy had our urgent care visit this morming due to coughing and phlegm.

When my daughter was freshly 2 years old, we felt so guilty about sending her to daycare when we could spend that time with her. Granted it kinda sucks we couldn’t witness her personality shine and become more outgoing, but it’s benefitted her to have her go than to stay home with us. We still see the changes even if we didn’t witness it. She’s closer to three now, and we always give her the option to stay home or go, and most of the time she chooses to go. If it was more expensive I’d keep her home, but luckily our daycare is pretty cheap. We lucked out.

Most daycares have a partial week option. 2 or 3 days. I would definitely send them for at least 2 days. For the social aspect, as you mentioned.

If my wife and I could afford it, sure! But we’ve been fortunate in that my wife’s aunt has been babysitting for us since our almost 3 yo was 3 months old. I do wish she could play with other kids more, but she’s smart as can be and has the vocabulary of a 3 and half to 4 yo so no complaints there. We are def going to get her into preschool at some point though

We didn’t have to send them, but we thought the preschool would offer more to our kids than we could at home. We never did 5 days a week, but we did do 3. It was nice to have someone else watch them and show them thing we wouldn’t have. It was also good to take a break.

I had to send my kids to daycare, no family and my wife and I both work full time jobs. I worked odd hours when they were younger so I would take them late or pick them up early. We had some good times. If I had my current situation where I can work from home full time and still work irregular hours, I would send them 3 days a week and then full time for pre-k. They learn a lot from me and my wife, but they get things we can’t provide at daycare. And 95% of the time when I went to pick them up, they didn’t want to leave.

My kids' daycare is GOAT.

This month they learnt fire safety role play, the nursery had a videographer in for some reason so they all played games playing up to the camera, someone's parent bought in baby goats, they're learning to write their own names and have started listening out for phonics, they've learnt the continents, days of the week, months of the year, Cups from Pitch Perfect, shape Pictionary.

They've built a little friendship group and regularly go to each other's birthday parties.

Even if me and my wife both had full time with them and tried really hard we wouldn't have done half of this stuff

If I didn’t have to, I’d still send him for at least half a day. But yeah, I’d pick him up early everyday to take him to the park because damn we do not have enough time to have fun in the evening

To the land of ice and snow

With the midnight sun and the hot springs flow

We did, starting at 3. We had two under two, so there was even a year when we only sent the oldest and my wife was home with the youngest.

We started preschool In September when my son was 3. He is thriving.

He stayed home with us or grandparents before, but we did lots of activities, 2 classes at the library and swimming lessons as soon as he turned 2.

Yes, but maybe not every day.

Socialization with other kids is extremely important. According to some it's crucial and not something you ever catch up on if you miss out on those early years.

No. Our doc told us we could wait until ours was 3 or 4.

I do

I work from home and did keep him at home until I got a raise and could afford it

The socialization is insanely important and their intelligence explodes from being around similar kids

I wouldn't say you HAVE to until 1 year before preschool, so around age 3, anything before that I think is completely optional

Yes - if nothing else for a break away from them and a chance for them to socialize with other kids.

We do this with my 3yo daughter. 2 half-days a week.(3hr sessions). I think it's done wonders for her socialization. It been great for our own wellbeing having a break here and there, and they teach her so much.

We are blessed to live near both of our parents and my mom and mother-in-law law each do at least a full 8 hr day a week for us.

I would wait until he's between 2 and 3.

Visits to the park & community events provide enough socialization.  And when you're out and about as a family verbalize what's going on and what the workers are doing at wherever you frequent. Avoid the cost, bad habits, and sickness of daycare if you can.

I’m actually in this boat right now. My son has been going to daycare full time. Starting next month there actually won’t be a need for him to go. My wife and I have decided that he will continue to go.

His daycare is a bit different though. He learns a ton from there, he loves it, and the price is much cheaper in my area than what most pay.

I could easily see both sides of the coin. It would depend a lot on what works best for you. I can think of plenty of benefits to a kid going to daycare, but I don’t think that means they will lack or fall behind if they don’t. Might just need to put in a little more work as parents if they don’t.

As others have said - kids need to socialise. Covid fucked a lot of kids in my state at least because we were in and out of lockdowns for nearly 2 years - my youngest for example spent most of his first year and half of his second year at home, and now we are having socialisation issues with him not being able to make friends properly.

Socialising as well as being used to being away from mum and dad, trying new foods, being in a stimulating environment etc - it is all crucial to their development.

We did the same staying home was an option, we opted for just a few mornings a week for socialisation exposure to new experiences etc. she wasnt enjoying it, was making everything difficult in the morning. so we pulled her out after one term. We kept taking about how fun nursery school is eventually she decided she was ready to try a again almost a year later.

there are other options for socialising/structured activities we also go to an organised playgroup every Wednesday

Yes, socialization and getting used to separation can be huge.

Also great for having time to get things done and have some alone time. You can always pick them up early or not send them some days if you want to spend more time.

My wife and I both work full time and at one point paid nearly $4k/month to have them both in daycare. Now my daughter is in kindergarten full days at the town school (a good one in state rankings).

I fully endorse it. We have friends and family that home school, and their kids don't socialize and interact with adults (or other kids many times) on any similar level.

The question is just a difference of your own interpretation of when you want the realities of life to impact your child. When you think they should, how you think you'll control them, to what degree and when. Life will impact your child. I think it's like muscle memory, the earlier and longer you do anything the better you'll be. A month after my daughter turned 5 she had to ride the bus to school (kindergarten). She's been on two wheels since 3 and now we ride bikes to the bus stop unless it's really raining. She's creative, confident, and hit some really hard issues that we worked through together.

It's crazy to let the little birds fly, and I feel angst all the time because we can't text to check in and I'm not sure what she's doing during the day, but that's going to happen at some point anyway [albeit at a far greater degree], and she's doing a great job with it. Maybe even with some guidance that lands from her mom and me. 🙂

TLDR: If expense is no issue, or daycare is mandatory to work, there's no reason to worry about the answer. Do it. If it's an option, let your kid grow and do their own thing - it's going to happen anyway, just gently give them what they need to succeed. If you can't send them to daycare, IMHO it's good to socialize and change up the routine and locations.

We use a play school that is 3 half days a week. Perfect balance for everyone

It can get boring at home all the time but daycare often sucks for a number of reasons, there's some commute, teachers are not always nice, viruses are not fun at all... I would love to postpone daycare to 3 or 4 years of age. But no daycare is tough when there's jobs, house chores, old age

Love spending time with my daughter more than anything, but I would still send her. She's only 2.5 and has been a bit ahead of the development curve and having the routine and socialization has really been great for her. She has her moments but overall gets excited for her friends, teachers, and learning. Next year she's going to a more curriculum drive preschool and I'm excited for her, she's gonna love it.

Yes for sure. He’s an only child so he gets same-age socialization and learned the “routine” of school already. He’s 3 but he understands school is during the day, Monday through Friday, and that he won’t see us then. He’s learning about… learning honestly. He has a workbook and pseudo progress reports sent home, along with homework of sorts (essentially a show and tell thing on Fridays).

Plus he gets lots of play time and outside time and is just generally learning more about the world in my opinion.

Had a super bizarre experience the other day, me and my son were at Target and he ran into one of HIS friends. They started discussing a toy the friend had. Me and the other parents were both looking at each other like “wtf is going on”.

"Have to" varies a lot from person to person. We could have afforded, technically, to have one of us quit and stay home. But then we'd have lost half our income and one of us would suffer from ageism and lack of experience when we wanted our careers back. Is that "have to"?

I was a little sad sending my first when he was 12 weeks old. I was very glad to send after 2. 

Yes, absolutely. My kids get more stimulation, learning, and socialization from daycare than I could ever hope to give myself.

There is a stigma against daycare here in the US and I think it’s completely absurd and classist.

We are in a very similar situation. Our 18-month-old had been babysat during the work day by his grandmother until this past month. We started 3-days-a-week daycare. In my opinion it would have been better to jump right in to 5 days a week. It's his fourth week now and he's just starting to get used to it, but he still cries when we leave him in the mornings.

I for one am very glad we started day care for him. He doesn't talk much, though he understands a ton and has taken you baby sign language, but I think being exposed to other kids and a proper teacher will help him to get there sooner.

He gets so bored at home, especially when it's raining and he can't go outside. He loves the music classes and story time and the playground, all of which he will get regularly at daycare.

Send them to daycare. They will be socialized and most day cares teach kids basic sign language that will help you communicate with your child. Things like “eat” and “more” are crucial

If we didn’t have to, and could still afford it, we absolutely would. Many positive reasons have been mentioned but another one is simply that I think our daycare probably does a better job of managing our daughter for long stretches than we reasonably could…because it’s their job. I love my daughter to bits but I think caring for her all day everyday and not having time for projects of my own would drive me batty and I just wouldn’t be able to be present with her for all that time.

For our kid, and our daycare, I think she’s happier getting the mix of environments rather than always being with us.

I wouldn't, but ymmv. We enrolled our 6yo, then 3 in preschool in 2020 bc she lost all her cousin/friend time bc of covid, and she had no siblings besides an infant brother who wasn't much of a playmate. No plans to enroll our current 3yo.

It was good for my kids to have a mix of kids around them in age as well as interacting with other adults. They learned a lot through experience. Especially because they don't have sisters.

My wife and I both worked up till my daughter was born 3 years ago. We looked into the costs and decided it would cost 80% of my wages to pay for daycare. We decided to live on a tighter budget and for me to stay home. Our thoughts were 1) why have someone else we don't know be the main influence on her regularly when I could. We want her to have our values and teach her our way. 2) up until 3 she can't really communicate it something bad is happening to her. Have her lots of daycare abuse horror stories. 3) we didn't want to miss out on milestones.

I think the only positive aspect of daycare is socialization. She is now 3 and I constantly question whether she should have been involved in more socialization. But I think if she was in daycare I would be questioning if we are spending enough time with her as a family. I love my time with her and wouldnt want to miss out on all the special moments. We do playgrounds, family gatherings, and activities like little Gym for socializing. She has always been very social though. Maybe if she was different we would think to put her in daycare.

In the last two months we started doing two days a week 2.5 hour daycare and she loves it. It's more of giving me a break a couple times a week. Because honestly terrible twos were not a thing but three has been hard on me.

Mom here.

If I had the money I woulda sent them whether I needed to or not! Shid.

In a heartbeat. We did a home daycare that was nearby and could have afforded to keep our kiddo home.

She gets to socialize with kids, learn from them, and tbh it’s more exciting at daycare than it is at home. You can always drop off late and pick up early if you are worried (something my wife really likes to do).

I would never send mine to daycare. We opted for a nanny for numerous reasons. We have enough friends with babies the same out similar age for the social aspect.

Look into Mother’s Day Out programs with local churches. They can be 2-3 days per week and give you that part-time option as well as being generally much less expensive than traditional daycare.

Hell no. Why have a kid if you are just going to ship them off to day care when you don’t have to?

All the studies show its better for kids to stay home if possible. Having said that my kid goes to daycare because we can't afford not to, but we just try to limit it to as little time there as possible and find the best daycare we can.

My 18 month old goes 4 days a week, even though she doesn't need to as I could keep her home at least 3 times a week likely. Her being at daycare allows me to get stuff around the house done and do stuff I want to do.

She also learns a lot more than I could teach her there, as far as socialization and sign language goes. She constantly impresses me seeing what new stuff she learns almost daily.

My son is about to turn 2. He's been in daycare for the past year. He's learned so much. He comes home knowing new words, colors, shapes, etc. Things we hadn't taught him at home yet. He's learned to get along with other kids and he's really happy. The teachers say he loves being there and always has a great day. We were worried at first but it was the best decision.

Daycare is more than just adults looking after the needs of kids. Its an educational facility, a place to socialise with other kids to develop confidence, sense of belonging, navigating emotions, learn how to interact.

There's only so much we can teach kids at home. It also gives them a sense of routine.

So yes, I would still send my kids to daycare.

I was against my 3 y/o son going to daycare. His made him go. It’s been nice seeing him make friends but he has started cussing. There are benefits but also negatives about daycare.

yes. They learned so much social skilz and got all the germs so now they never get sick. like never

I would totally send them for one it's socializes them with other kids their age they learn very valuable things from that for two it also gets them ready for the whole going to school process of things it's a very valuable thing that is very much needed and I think a lot of the times new parents don't see it that way until they have their second or third child

We’re a one income family with my wife at home until the kids are school aged. We send our 2 year to two half days of school for socialization

We do it mainly for socialization. He needs to get used to being away from us for a few hours a day to get ready for elementary school.

If I could stay home with my child instead of going to work to support the family then 100% I would spend all day with them and home school them.

Fully behind the socialisation but that can come from many activities in public not just day-care / schooling like extra-murals, trips to the park, beach etc.

It’s one of my biggest losses in life that I can’t. I totally understand some, maybe most, parents wanting and needing breaks from their children but I simply don’t feel the same; it would be a dream come true!

100% yes. It’s good for him to meet more kids and learn to live and work in a group and it’s really important for my mental health to not have to be a dad all the time. Color me weak but I could never do this 24/7.

Yeah for reasons of socialization, diversity of experience, etc. And in the longer term preparation for school life.

We have four kids and all of them went to normal daycare (youngest is in her last weeks now, starting school after summer). But we were privileged enough to not have to have any of them start until after their second birthday, that's about when they start having a use for a lot of socialization outside of the family.

The whole time we've been able to use some flexibility wrt length of daily stays etc.; my wife works a variable-shift schedule (days, evenings, nights) so is at home a good portion of the time during normal office/school hours; while I work a hybrid office/wfh programming job (can't really work AND look after a kid, but can for example let the kid sleep a bit longer and take her over to daycare (which is like a five-minute walk from our house) a bit later, instead of dragging her out of bed at the same time as her brothers who have to be at the school when it begins).

Absolutely yes. Our 2 year old girl’s speech, self control and social development leapfrogs week by week when she’s at daycare. When we stop for a week or two we notice that she seems to stop learning new things.

Also, perhaps anecdotally, I do see a huge difference in “maturity” with similarly aged neigbour’s and friend’s kids who are not in daycare and are taken care of by grandparents and such. Of course this is far from scientific, as each kid matures differently and at a different pace, but I like to believe the pain in my wallet is worth something…

There’s regular discussion of this on r/ScienceBasedParenting. It’s worth reading the studies sighted there, but basically outcomes seem to be better if you can avoid daycare, especially before 3. While intuition suggests socialization with other kids is important, they actually socialize better with adults before that, since kids tend not to be able to meaningfully play together before that time.

That said, daycare decisions aren’t made in a vacuum and often have to be balanced against other important life decisions, so to each family their own decision.

Its totally up to you, but daycare is a great place for him to make friends, learn new things and be exposed to new experiences that he might not get at home.

Obviously it doesn’t need to be all day, maybe just a few hours, maybe more.

Personally I’m a big fan of those outside daycares where they get to hang out with their new buddies in the sun, wind, rain, snow etc. Builds character!

We started around the 18 month mark primarily for socialization. I think we started a little early and 2-3 would have been better so he could speak / tell us if anything isn't right. From that perspective in an ideal world (money isn't an issue) I'd want to skip daycare and start at preschool around 3 but plan lots of playdates from 2 to 3 years old.

I was on the fence about it too, but, seeing my son, run into the daycare, shouting his best friends name at the top of his lungs with a big grin on his face, has made those old worries of mine absolutly vanish. He gets to play and learn about the world with friends around him. Kido is at this point 2,5 he joined up around 22m old.

Since this topic is about those that do not necessarily have to send them to daycare: No, definitely, absolutely not (and we don't). Develop routines, get used to someone else taking care of them, socialize...what? They will do all of that and socialize when they go to kindergarten...or with all of our friends' kids when they see them, which they do, multiple times a week...or at little "camps" for a week or one day a week or half days or whatever...or the library...or parks...or everywhere in society...

This is the only time in their life they will EVER have being so free with their parent(s). Why pay so someone else can have that? So someone else can be with them 80% of their waking day? If you can afford not to send them, or make it work for a few years, seems insane not to. It is so amazing having them and us spend so much time together.

My $.02 that will get downvoted :)

We chose to have ours go to an organized Day Care part of the day even when we didn't need to for the social aspects. Downsides is they are sick all the time, and it's crazy expensive.

My kids have been with me since the day they were born. My pediatrician always preaches how kids under age 3 don’t need socialization w peers, per se (of course, it cannot hurt!) They need at least one connected adult who gives them undivided attention throughout the day and love/care for them!

With that said, my daughter started prek and I was so worried that she was going to have a hard time separating. She had played with other kids at the children’s museum/park/library but never without from her dad or me nearby. From the very first day of school she has grabbed her teacher’s hand and ran to wait with the other kids! She absolutely loves school.

I am very grateful I had the privilege/opportunity to spend those 3.5 years with her the full day. She’s going to be in school for the next 15+ years now and those baby years somehow flew by prettty fast!

We do two days a week four hours a day for the social aspects