Why do dads literally not want to do anything on holidays. It’s so boring for no reason, like why? 😐

This is a reminder to please read and follow:

• Our rules
• Reddiquette
• Reddit Content Policy

When posting and commenting.

---

Especially remember Rule 1: Be polite and civil.

• Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit.
• Do not harass or annoy others in any way.
• Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit.

---

You will be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way.

---

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Probably because they work most of the time and on Holidays they don't want to do anything.

Or he finds those things you listed boring

When you get older all you want is peace and quiet.

We’re tired as shit and want to relax.

Next time you’re finally done w some lengthy difficult task and you’re exhausted, almost falling asleep and can’t keep your eyes open ask yourself “right now, do you want to go to a crowded field, sit for an hour, go to the ice cream store, drive through traffic, all while babysitting ppl 20 yrs younger than you?”

That’s how your dad feels.

Hi! Middle aged dad here. When my family wants to go to , say, the fireworks at the county fair grounds, I have to pack the car, fill up with gas, get money out, and buy tickets. That’s a couple hours of work while my kids sit in their rooms. Then, they ride in the car , and sit o their phones, while I drive, and sit in line to park, another 45 minutes, and more money. Then, we walk to where we can sit, they complain about carrying stuff, and then argue about where we’re sitting. Then, I have to sit there and watch the seats while they run off to go spend money I gave them. I then have to worry about where they are, if they’re safe, if they’ve drank enough water, what have you. The , I have to buy food for everyone, and the food usually sucks ass.

Then, there’s a concert and fireworks.

When everything is done, I have to round everyone and all our stuff up, and get everyone back in the car. Then, we have to wait in line to get out, for another hour to hour and a half.

At this point the kids are either asleep, or complaining about needing to go to the bathroom, and they’re upset with me for not telling them to pee earlier, or complaining to me about the traffic.

So, for you , going to the fireworks is 3 hours of music , fireworks, friends and food, but for Dad it’s more like 7 hours, most of it work, very expensive, not relaxing at all, and nobody tells him if they have fun, they only talk to him when things are going badly, and they’re mad because he can’t fix it for them, or they want more money from him.
And, if someone gets sick, or injured, it’s annoying for you if it’s not you, but it’s a lot more work , worry, and expense for your Dad.

He wants a day off for the holiday, not a ton of expensive costs and more work and more hassle.

If you want to do stuff, offer to pay and put the work in. I bet he’ll do it then.

Men just want to be left alone, even on Father’s Day the best thing to do is to leave them alone. Let them breathe, let them have a day of peace.

Any holiday stuff is literally the bane of my existence. I'd rather be working tbh.

I literally only do it for the women in my life. God, the last thing I want to do is listen to a bunch of hens yap and make unnecessary noise.

But if I don't tolerate it, I wouldn't have any women in my life, and at that point might as well die on a battlefield.

Work hard, tired hard.

You will get there eventually, propably, and understand.

Men work hard all their lives so that one day they can do nothing.

When they're not working for someone else like at their jobs, what are they doing? They're working on things for their families. They're always working. I don't have kids and it happens with me and my wife and her mother and the rest of the extended family. When I'm not working, they are lining up things for me to do and not just basic household chores. I'm always working.

So when holidays come around, let Dads have some downtime or have some fun with them.

I relate to your dad. It’s a pain in the butt to navigate parking, make sure none of your property gets damaged, or no drunk jerk picks a fight, traffic jams trying to get home, screaming children, annoying adults, if you’ve seen one firework display you’ve seen em all.

Some people just want peace on their days off.

Some people work for a living so holidays are days to relax

Because dads don’t want another day working.

Older Dads may have most things that they want or need. Younger Dads realize it’s their money being used to buy the gift.

Become a dad, and you'll find out.

I'mma wager a guess that your dad's the main earner in the family. Which means his life is chockfull of stress, likely from the moment he wakes up to the moment he goes to bed.

And he doesn't rest by doing something fun, like you do, or by spending time with his family like your mother does - he rests either by doing a project of his own or, if that's not his thing, by resting. Doing nothing for once - he very rarely gets to do that.

The worst thing you can do to him is stress him more by bombarding him with people.

My dad doesn't drink much, but on holiday he checks out and plays cards with my uncles for the whole vacation. That's it that's all they do. No responsibility no worries about kids. That's it. My mom wasn't much different with my aunts if a kid got hurt rub dirt in and go away. That was the 90s though

Plan the event, pay for the event, drive to the event, take care of any problems that arise, solve everyone's complaints, and then invite Dad along.

All the work for none of the play.

Because we spend the majority of our time working to support our families. The last thing we want to do on one of our few extra days off is go deal with crowds of idiots.

Beer’s expensive out their the ac probably sucks n I just made eight million hot dogs

Maybe if you offer to organise, pay, drive, carry gear, find food, pack up, and let him sleep in the car on the way home, he might go ?

That sounds like a lovely gift for your Dad

Cause we're fucking tired.

You’ll understand when you’re older lol

When you have a chair you’ll understand.

because this is one of 4 days a year with an 80% chance or better, that no clients will call. that's a relief that can't be explained unless you've been self employed since you were 13

To avoid traffic and extended family.

Uh oh

Someone may not like normal holiday activities (crowds, bad experiences, maybe they just don’t think normal holiday things are funetc.), maybe he’s just not the best at communicating that - or maybe he really doesn’t want to do anything.

Try letting him know that you would like to do something with him, maybe think of a few ideas (bbq, get out to a restaurant) and see how he picks it up from there.

It’s important to remember that your parents are just people! Make your wants and needs known!

Not all dads are like that. Your dad sounds tired.

many dads have physical jobs. you get tired quicker as you get older. they have to rest

Well it depends, at times if Dads work very hard, in their off times they want peace and quiet.

I bring my girls out all the time. I had to work today, so my wife was solo with them, but we will catch fire works later. 

Funny. This is the opposite for me and the Mrs

Because he has worked his ass off for weeks and just wants some peace

most dads work a helluva lot to provide for the family, and thats where the energy goes

All of the stuff they actually want is thousands of dollars. They wouldn’t want to ask that for a gift

Because when you get old you develop JOMO, joy of missing out.

They are tired.

Ex military, nurse, been there, done that, I need a nap.

He's probably tired from working all the time and just wants to relax. Maybe take him to some place that's not crowded.

He just wants to relax. Sometimes you just need to recharge

Sometimes you all you want is peace and quiet

I’m not even a dad and I know doing things on Holiday’s (when you’re always working and doing other worky crap outside of work) is fucking annoying, and said Holiday thing is usually never worth giving up a day of rest.

Are you driving him there? Are you paying for entry and the food and snacks and drinks? I bet he would love it if you offered to do it as your treat. Otherwise you are asking him to spend at least a couple Hundred each time, and I bet there is no thanks or acknowledgement just an expectation.

When you bust your ass all day every day, you want to rest on your free days, not go and fuck with people and crowds.

Maybe he’s self conscious or has some form of social anxiety

Go without him!

I wonder what would happen if women decided they didn’t want to do Thanksgiving and Christmas? I recognize not ALL guys don’t contribute but you’d be a liar if you said it’s not a common thing for women to handle these major holidays. From this perspective, it makes it hard to understand why Dad’s can’t/won’t handle 4th of July celebrations when Mom’s generally make the major holidays what they are.

I keep reading on here how men work and want to be left alone. Let me add to that as a mom: we do most of the stuff for our kids despite working as much as the men crying in the comments. Men very often just don’t have the capacity women do to do things they don’t want for the sake of others 🤷‍♀️ it’s largely I think because men like to think of themselves as the ones who work hard and deserve a break. Forgetting that when you have a family, sometimes you just suck it up for them. I mean one guy even said: he finds the thing you’re doing boring. And…? Do it anyway, it makes your family happy. Men very often just don’t put the work into their families they should be.

disown your dad