Idk how to write this or what to say, but this is the only place I can say it until I have my appointment tomorrow. It’s been about a week since I had this realization and it’s been so fucking lonely and isolating.

I’ve been living outside of my body for the last 6 days. Just watching it all happen. I’ve told one person, my roommate and best friend, and no one else until now. And I’m not about to give details or anything but my god, something HAPPENED and when I even just type that word my heart dropped and I wanted to vomit.

I always knew there was something wrong. I always assumed I was going to die young and tragically, or that I’d get cancer, or I’d have some other horrific disease that would leave me maimed. There’s always been this sense of impending doom on my life that I could never explain. This was all triggered by The Body Keeps The Score, Chapter 8 I think. Maybe 9. A woman with repressed issues remembers them and. 🙃 yeah. I can’t say much more right now, this took like an hour to type.

There was no goal to this post and idk how to close it so, wish me luck at therapy I guess? I’m really not well. If anyone has any advice/things you wish you knew or did very early into your healing process, I’d love to hear them. Be safe and have a good night my friends.