The spiders are actually crawling out after they hatch in your throat, but when people find them in their mouths in the morning they sometimes get confused.
They say you swallow up to eight spiders a year in your sleep, but that is obviously just a myth.
😁
Fitting flair.
Wanna hate something more? It’s common for spiders and other bugs to hide in your ears while you sleep. It’s why some people end up having to get them removed by a doctor.
Not in my ears laughs in ear plugs
I've never been more glad I wear earplugs every single night
HAHAHAHAHAHA NO shoots seven times in chest
🕷️
machine gunfire
Yeah he missed one
Don't worry, even if you hit them all, there will always be more!
Still got 1 leg to crawl out with, just slower and dripping spider goo as it goes.
you missed one
We have discovered that words do, in fact, hurt.
That is my goal here!
Great job!
You. I fw you. But I also kinda hate you? IM SO CONFLICTED
Haha well since this is horror I will take that as a good thing 😁
Who says words don't hurt indeed 😭 +10 psychological DMG, and yes it's absolutely a compliment. A proper wordsmith.
Not to be that gal, but what does 'fw' stand for?
Oh it means fk with. 🥰
OOOOOOOH, I feel like an idiot-
Nah don't! This silly beech had to Google it the first time I saw someone use it 😂 I AM SHAMELESS
Spiders Georg notwithstanding.
Well, he is an outlier so we can't count him
Why would you do this to people?
I just like clearing up misconceptions!
I hate you. I will now have nightmares. I have the worst arachnophobia.
I had to open a little hole in my CPAP machine for the little dudes to get out. The mask kept filling up at night, and besides, we're getting close to mosquito season.
Yeah, that makes sense, good call!
No, actually you eat zero spiders a year, it's just that Spider John eats 40 a day and throws the average way off
Spiders Georg surely?
No, Spider John
Hey, if you know a better way to incubate the great Throat Dwelling Biter, I'd like to hear it!
This is the best way, of course! It's like a little massage, when that flood of tiny spiders spills from your open mouth. They are really doing us a favor, you know?
You actually reminded me of this evil summoner in some old MtG book I read forever ago. For some reason I never forgot the beat. She summons a big spider and lets it dangle above a guy's mouth while saying something like, "She's quite pregnant, and loves warm, dark, wet places to nest."
That is an effective threat, I would say!
That number is obviously just a suggestion. You can eat as many spiders as you’d like!
as an arachnophobe HELL NO. GOODBYE. I'M GONNA GO DRINK BLEACH NOW.
Advantage: us old people who use CPAP machines
Wouldn't that just mean the spiders that hatch in there can't escape?
Thanks I hate it. I'm not even scared of spiders anymore I just really do not like the concept of ANYTHING crawling in or out of my mouth. I'm fine with a spider or two chilling on my arms or legs for a bit (we have really small and harmless ones in the Philippines) but they go ANYWHERE near my mouth and I'm committing crimes against their species.
That is reasonable, lol. Boundaries are important. Also, thanks!
Thanks for clarifying! Screw you!
Happy to help!
Take my upvote and leave
nonononononono
It's the circle of liiiiife
Protein is protein.
Look, leave me and my army of mouth spiders alone. They're just some lil guys, they're not hurting anyone.
Shoutout to Lisa Birgit Holst from PC Professional for this fun fact! ;)
Lol who doesn't love an anagram?
Hate this, hate you, no thank you 😭
NOOO I didnt need this thought
WHO HURT YOU
Spiders
Wish I could send this to my little brother ... He's freakin' terrified of 🕷🕷🕷
Spiders can be a bit unsettling, so that is fair, lol
Oh, I know! That's why I wanna do it. <smiles sweetly>
WHY.
Why dude, why???
Just trying to help! Wouldn't want people to mistakenly think they are swallowing spiders, would I?
oh, georg!
Reminds me of a Horror book I read in my teens called 'Came A Spider'. Yes, it's as bad as it sounds.
How can I unsee a post?
The way I want to downvote this lol
Haha I'll take that as a compliment
The SOUND that just came out of my body as I read this, jfc. Take your upvote and get awayyyy frommm meeee
Be glad it was just a sound and not spiders! (And thank you!)
Factoid actually statistical error.
Spiders Georg, who lives in a cave and not only consumes several thousand spiders per year, thus lodging their egg sacs in his throat, but gleefully releases them from the folds of his tonsils out into the wild, is an outlier adn should not have been counted.
And I physically recoiled. I love and hate this. Well done,OP!
Thank you :)
The average person swallows less than one, Spiderswallower Jones is an outlier and shouldn't be counted.
I had enough trouble with the spider story from "Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark". Now I've got this image in my head to compete. Thanks!
Morning snack
Eight a year?! Those are rookie numbers!
Congratulations! You just made me scream at work!!!! I guess I’ll start sleeping with tape over my mouth now 😭
Haha be careful that might just trap them inside! Also don't scream too loudly, you will wake the spiderlings :)
I think I just flatlined………
Awwwww I don't want that! They need to get their whole 8 hours!!!
Ewwww.
5 missing replies
Thanks, I hate it.