I check the online obituaries for my hometown nearly daily. I'm at the stage in life where my parents generation is dying off, so I occasionally see someone they knew, or the parents of old friends are former classmates and even some former teachers.
Me too
Same lol every morning lol
My mom reads the obits from her hometown 9 hours away and pretty regularly sees a name she knows
Never. It actually never occurred to me to do that. And I don’t see that changing. I usually hear about things like that eventually from friends or family since I’m not on social media other than Reddit.
Daily, they get sent to my email. But, I'm a hospice nurse, so...
The Irish sporting pages? Weekly.
My grandmother called them the Irish Funnies too and said when I get to her age it would look like my high school yearbook. Unfortunately (for them, fortunately for her I guess) she outlived about half of the people I grew up with.
Haven’t heard this term since my Irish dad died
Never.
But my mom, on the other hand, has reached the age where she talks about only two things: her or others' health issues, or who died.
Last month I went back to my hometown for a family get-together. My dad wanted to spend some time talking with me and we rode up to the town cemetery to visit Mom's grave. Dad's 82 this year and it seems almost all the lifelong friends he's had are now in that cemetery. It seemed every headstone we passed, he reminisced about the person buried there and it was obvious that he was mourning them, and that the more his reference points fall ill and pass away, the more alone he feels. I've seen the same effect in a local television personality I'm working with who's in his late 80s; so many of his friends and contemporaries are now gone. The curse of living to an old age is that a lot of people you love won't make it there with you.
My Gami is 91 this year, basically everyone her age has already passed. Her "old friend" is about a decade younger than her.
She's lost alot of friends, her husband, and unfortunately she's pretty close to watching 2 of her 3 kids die before she does... thankfully she's "healthy", but that's got to be rough to live that long
When I was young I told my grandmother I hoped she'd never die. Her response: don't curse me. I am at the age where many people I knew have passed, some were a long time part of my life. Very difficult, having chunks of memories become yours alone. I want to live for a very long time more, but understand completely what grandma said when I was just a pup.
My grandfather used to tell me ‘don’t get old’ and now that I’m almost 50 (he said this to me years ago in his 70s) I totally get it.
My mom made it to 96. Sadly, the few remaining friends she had, mom could hardly stand to talk with them. She also didn't know me, as her child, so probably didn't know these 'old friends' any longer too. So just didn't want to talk to some old ladies that drove her crazy or at least to dementia.
My mom and MIL are like this and I hate it because my mil is graphic af
Literally never.
At least 5 times a week from my hometown paper's website. I've seen a few people I know, like former teachers or older family members. I don't think I'm ready to see my classmates show up yet.
Same here, maybe 4 times a week I go to the website of my hometown's most used mortuary and scan the names. Recently this is how I learned an old coworker of mine had died.
I check every three months to see if my horrible estranged relatives are still alive. Other than that, never
Same
I did it until about age 60. Irritates the crap out of me that it is behind a paywall in my hometown. I have a pretty decent list of friends who still live there and are active on FB. I depend on them.
I wouldn't even know where to look. I don't even know if the local paper there still exists
I have done this my entire life. Check my hometown and current city
About once a week, but I check the obits of an interesting local independent newspaper, and all of the write up’s are incredibly insightful and oddly beautiful. A lot of people who frequent that news source are artists with real multilayered lives, and I find something oddly calming about their obituary section, because they all show lives that LIVED.
Small town resident here. I check everyday.
Never
Never, but a friend of mine was doing it since his teen years. I think it was because his mom did it, so maybe a family thing. His father passed away when he was very young, perhaps that also factored in.
I’ve been reading obits since my teens.
Are you me? Been reading obituaries for my hometown area since I was 18.
I live near a big city so not to the level I would if I were in a small town. Facebook acts as more of the morbid notifier. I do subscribe to the weekend section of the Wall Street Journal and find the obits fascinating. truly remarkable people that have done outstanding things.
Same. I recently wished someone a Happy Birthday on FB, got a PM from another friend saying the birthday woman had passed away. Suicide. I was shocked. We had been close back when our kids were little, only kept in FB touch since then. Apparently her family chose not to put her death on FB, which is totally fine. It was sad to hear.
I still read a digital version of the newspaper. I read them every day.
Daily. Obituaries and the local booking report…..
My GPA once told me... "I used to read the paper yo see who got married, then to see who had kids. Now I look to see who passed away.:.. Cycle of life I guess.
Almost daily, for the same reason as OP. And because I’m nosy and curious about people’s life stories.
At 68 most of the people I knew could be anywhere. I have a paid subscription to one paper where I retired from, not where I grew up.
But I have found many people I knew at different times in my life on findagrave. Family, friends, Army buddies. Was shocked to learn of many deaths.
Sometimes I'll use findagrave to look at the headstone of a friend who died in 2009 because I still can't believe he's gone.
Daily, with anticipation that usually turns to disappointment.
Weekly
I hadn’t heard from an acquaintance in a 6 weeks (unusual for him), his socials were quiet and no podcast updates…I feared the worst and googled his name and yeah, he had passed away. I’m not sure he was even 40 yet, very sad. What’s odd is it is seemingly a secret, no one his socials has put up anything about it, his obit has zero details and I’ve found no real announcements except for the one I had to specifically search for. Most of his extended circle probably has no idea. He was the type who was a friend to all, so I’m disappointed I found out 10 days after his funeral. I’d like to tell his family how wonderful I thought he was (perhaps by posting on his FB page) but with everything being so hushed, I’m hesitant to be the one that breaks the news.
ETA: his death was due to complications of an illness, not suicide, which I’ve seen families get quiet on, so I’m not sure why more people haven’t need told.
I do occasionally. Maybe once every couple of months. Last time I looked, I found out my favourite teacher from school had died. They made it to their 80s, which was nice.
Last week I learned my favorite professor died twenty years ago at age 60.
He was beloved by students and faculty, and was well respected in his field. I had assumed that by now he'd be professor emeritus and enjoying the company of his grandchildren. Sadly he was robbed of the final chapters of his life.
On average once a week. My wife never does and thinks it’s a little bit odd. Oh well.
I checked it weekly in case my evil step mother died. So I could call my sister singing "Ding dong the witch is dead!"
Never.
I'm 23 and I check my local newspaper's obituaries every week. I got in the habit back in high school because every year I was there at least 2 students died (for context it wasn't even a big school, it was well under 2k students).
Almost daily also. Where I live, my hometown, I'll Google parents of friends names' + obituary occasionally.
Just this week I saw the obituary for the mother of one of my elementary school classmates. I have one memory of her, which is her being annoyed with me because I didn't finish eating a hotdog at a birthday party for her son, who was my classmate at the time (2nd grade).
I sometimes get a gut feeling I should check, and without a doubt someone I know has passed. It’s uncanny.
My sister does it. It seems to have become her job
Probably daily, in newspaper style format (though digital).
Not to find people I know but because… idk, people have amazing lives. And I hope one day to be someone that people want to write a good obituary about.
Sometimes I read ones about all these cool things people did, but honestly? The ones that are special have nothing to do what people did, they’re about who the person was and how they mattered to those around them. The really good ones are like, really really good. Sometimes I want to share good obits with friends just because they’re so cool.
I had a weird feeling a few years ago to check on the death of a boss who was the worst ever. Not expecting anything it turns out he died from cancer not very long before the obituary. His wife was very nice, probably had no idea what a dick he was. Good riddance.
Every morning.
I check the weekly death notices every Sunday in my local newspaper. I’m looking for overdose deaths as I work in the treatment industry.
About once a week when I think of it
I do, daily. I work for the utilities company in a rural town, and it’s odd to recognize so many of my customers :(
I'm only 28 but I checked them regularly from about 16-25, as it often had offers for free pets on the same page mixed in (at the time I really wanted a dog) from people who had passed away. I found out the kid I was born next to at the hospital, who had a very unique name, died in a motorcycle stunt accident that way.
I check daily. At my age (83) I've outlived most people I know.
Every day I check my hometown obits online, I used to looks for parents of friends, or, teachers I had, now that I’m 65 I’m starting to see more friends and acquaintances from way back when.
I am usually a three or 4 day a week checker. Everyone I ever knew is starting to croak it so I feel compelled to look and see if the people that I grew up around/ with went toes up.
Everyday lol
Never. My dad does it constantly and it's really weird. But he lives in the past. He will announce every day who he knew but hasn't seen for 59 years is now dead, announce celebrities and stuff and he cries. It's weird asf. I'm like dude these people wouldn't cry for you. If it puts it into context why I find his crying so annoying, he has zero sympathy for any of his family, including his wife and children, and is an emotional abuser. So when he does this shit I want to punch him in the face. Lol
Every second day.
Wow people actually do this? I don’t really care unless I talk to people.
I’ve never checked the obits. I’m 63.
Every week in our local newspaper. For those of you who don't do this, you're not missing much. Obits are increasingly uncommon and unpopular. They're quickly becoming a thing of the past, which is a shame as the obits used to include most people.
The decline started over 20 years ago, at least in the three regions I was familiar with both as a child and as an adult. It's to the point now where the area I live in almost never has any obits in our weekly newspaper.
Never, my mom keeps me updated on who has died recently. Most conversations start with, “remember old so and so”, I say “yes”, she says, “well he died last week.”
Used to work at a bank years ago. One of my assignments was to check the obituaries every morning to see if they had accounts with bank. If they did, accounts were frozen along with any safety deposit box they had. Seemed cold and callous. Despised that job duty. Only time I read obits now is when I'm told someone I know has passed away.
Never. There's only one person I want jailed or dead*, and if either happens to him I'll know about it soon enough from the exultation of folks affected by him.
*Aside from all the politicians, billionaires, and warmongers I would Death Note if I could, of course. 🙃
Daily. As long as my name and photo aren't there, all is well. Lol
If my name is there, I get to go back to bed.
Perfect. Maybe then I can FINALLY sleep in.
I haven't been back to the county I was raised in since 1999, at least for no longer than a week a small handful of times over the years. I check that countie's obits, I check the obits here where I've lived for 20 years, and I watch the YouTube channel Immortal News to see who the famous dailies are. It's kind of an obsession. Like, if someone catches me off guard in any of them my heart sinks but I'm always grateful it was me finding out on my own and not just going about my life unaware. If that makes sense.
I’m 26, but used to work with geriatrics. I check about once a week
I haven’t gotten the paper in 30 years so I set a Google alert for the word obituary and the name of my high school. I went to a small private school, so I don’t get that many false positives. Maybe one email a week.
Never. I look at the obituaries in the New York Times, but never the paid death notices.
Not locally, but I do look in my undergraduate magazine.
Almost daily. ☹️
There's a memorial page/group on Facebook for my high school that I take a look at once a week or so, but rarely do I see anyone I know noted there. Whether that's because people are sticking around or because word just hasn't gotten to the maintainer of the page, I'll never know.
Otherwise, I only look at obituaries if I've heard someone has passed, or if I've heard they're in rough shape.
I don’t check the obituaries anymore since I moved out of state (my dad was a doctor so he would always read them just in case)
But I do check my friends Facebook profiles on their birthdays to check if they’ve become death days or there aren’t any posts other than birthday wishes for a number of years
I also admin a group page for a bunch of people who were very important during a certain time and at a specific place, so I get a lot of warnings about who’s sick, dying or gone…. And then I have time to add them to the RIP section 😢
I check the obits daily.
I started doing this when I was about 23-24 when they were printed in the local newspaper. Living in a large city meant there were multiple columns every day so it could be time-consuming, especially the weekend paper. My morning coffee and reading the obits became a ritual.
I don't know why I started, but it's something I've continued to do for decades. I'm about to turn 69.
I also love to watch the tv shows Finding Your Roots and Who Do You Think I Am? so perhaps it's a fascination with our individual impact on our world, big and small.
Week-ends.
I'm Irish, but live aboard. I check RIP.ie more regularly than the people in my current country would ever believe.
I think its partially a cultural thing.
I was obsessed with read the obituaries for years until around 60 years old, then began seeing too many names of people I knew, and becoming too scary 🥺
I'm a daily email subscriber to the obituaries. I'm only 30, so I guess that's weird.
I do not easily give away my age but...all 4 of my uncles are dead, my parents have long passed. I have a wonderful aunt who is 93 and in care, the youngest. I have some 2nd cousins and several third, likely 4th at this point, not sure what my Mother's side of the family is doing. They were always a bit standoffish. My sister had 2 kids and then a great niece. I do not check to see who in our extended family has passed, I may eventually hear about it. My very cool 1st cousins are all aging but doing well just 7 of them making their way through the 21st century. I will hear when anything happens. Checking to see who is dead just isn't something I do. No point. Everyone dies. Of my 3 siblings only one sister had kids. And my wife and I had none. We did not reproduce efficiently. I do not regret that. But I think it is good our family name has survived.
I look at them every day and then say stupid shit like “well what do you know, Margie smith died”. Just like my mother did. Shoot me now
Every morning on my local newspaper app.
Never. I have facebook and a kid who still lives in our hometown.
Weekly of my hometown in KY. My dad always read them growing up and he still gets the paper for this reason. I read mine online like a normal person lol
I got into the habit from my mother. I've been doing it now for over half my life. I look everyday to be honest sometimes twice a day.
About once every couple of months.
Every time i read the paper paper
About twice a week - I check to see if any of my patients have passed away because sometimes the hospital/family does not inform us It's always sad when I see them there
I check maybe once a month, usually when I get in a brooding mood. I found out one of my favorite professors died in North Carolina.
Daily
I remember waking up to read the crime reports to see what friends were in it. Now I’m at the age I pass the crime reports and go to the obits.
Every day. I like to see who I've outlived.
A few times a week. In my case, it's my friends who are the ones dying off. Mostly really acquaintances I'm looking for, but you never know at my age.
Yeah I do this same thing.
Daily: “He’s older, he’s older, he’s younger! He’s older……”
"Each morning I get up and dust off my wits, / Then open the paper and read the obits, / And if I'm not there, I know I'm not dead, / So I eat a good breakfast and crawl back to bed." -- Lee Hays and Pete Seeger
Never. I usually hear about people passing away from my family and friends circle.
I read them all the time my hometown and where I live now I read them just in case no one cared about them
Me too. Everyday. For everywhere I’ve lived.
I've had 7 good friends and fellow musicians die on me between 2005 and 2023. I'm 70 and I often wonder if I'm next in line...
Ive always been a big reader of obits. But I do check my hometown paper's obits several times a week. I usually know someone directly or indirectly. Have yet to see my own. Whew!
I never do anymore. But eons ago in between postal gigs I did collection work. And we always checked the obits to see if some delinquent account holder had died so we could pay off his loan with the credit insurance. We only got lucky once.
I don't have to, that's what my mom is for. She tells me everything about everyone. She's part of a couple of sewing groups, made up of other old ladies, so she prattle about So and So's husband has colon cancer, and Other Lady's sister had a stroke, and their friend was diagnosed with hypothyroidism, and This Guy's wife finally passed away from whatever disease.
She's 80 so it's no longer who is getting married, who had kids, who is getting divorced. And the sewing circle has narrowed down as the Grim Reaper plucks them off one by one.
Bless her heart.
The college I graduated from sends out a monthly magazine with births, deaths, marriages, published works, advanced degrees etc...
I read those.
I am in the "next up" generation. Most of my friends' parents have passed.....so I look for classmates.
Every day.
I’m 57. I check it every day. I remember my grandparents reading the paper, and calling out who died to each other. It happened almost every morning that I was at their house!
Yesterday
The N.Y. Daily News had a obituary page that was the first page my father he would go to every day. If he knew the person who died name published which seemed every 2 weeks. he would go to the wake during the day as he worked nights. If he was off that day it was a different story. Put on his suit make sure he has his cigarettes and 2 $20.00 bills because he was stopping at the bar afterwards. When he died we had his name published in the Daily News . It was a full house at the wake because a lot of children of parents whose wake my father attended. there was also a couple from Ireland who were here on vacation who saw his name in the paper.
I read the obits in the Sunday Washington Post. A former teacher of mine used to have us read them on occasion (there was some assignment attached but I don’t remember what) and him saying “Someone interesting dies every day” stuck with me.
Every day. Just in case they know something about me that I don't.
Weekly, from 3 different parts of the country.
I check in 2 places daily. Maine/Michigan. Hometown/ 25 years in MI. It's a small world.
Never. But my union posts the retirements every month and I read this religiously.
Unless I know someone has died, I don't. Don't see the point.
It's crazy that this came up on my Reddit feed because I never used to do this but I started to around 4 months ago. For context, my landlady had a friend who lived on the first floor of my building. This friend of hers was always very rude and a major pain to deal with for the 4 years I've lived here. One day, an ambulance came and took her away and I don't think she ever came back. I progressively saw her relatives or friends come and toss out belongings from the apartment so there was a lot of trash every few weeks. I've been checking obituaries only because I have no idea if she's alive or not.
Never ever. If I am not close enough to them that someone would tell me they died, why do I want to know?
I worked in an office with a very sweet janitor about 10 years ago. He once told me he checks the obituaries every morning to see if he has to go into work or not. He said if his name isn't in there, he gets ready for work.
Rarely. Maybe once or twice a year. I have an old friend who was in insurance who still checks the obituaries and lets me know when someone kicks it from the old crowd.
I don't. But I moved back to very rural area with low population density. If someone I know dies I will be told. I had a relative die and all kinds of people showed up, I didn't even know she knew half of them.
Never. That's just not on my radar.
Probably helps that I don't live where I grew up, so the chance of seeing people I've lost touch with is incredibly small.
Never. It’s too depressing
I do too
Never. If it’s something I should know about, I assume the friend involved would inform me. Otherwise, none of my business.
Never, but I suppose it's because there is no reason to check.
If I want to know, it will be via different means.
Everyone I used to know is scattered.
Possible unpopular opinion: they would be far more interesting if they stated how they died.
Frequently they do or at least hint at it (requesting donations for Alzheimer's research for example). Though for younger people if there's no mention, I tend to suspect suicide.
Never, I haven't up till now, when someone is sick, dying my lil sister who knows everything, informs me.
Never. However in my 20s I just so happened to check the obituaries one day for I have no idea what reason. Found out a friend (not close) died. I was so grateful that day so I could say goodbye.
Almost never. I see them sometimes in the local paper, but I have no clue who these locals are. They sure do seem to die early, however.
Literally never. I honestly forgot they existed until this post. I'd have to go searching for local ones online. Is there some rule or law that all deaths must be publicly reported?
Never. If someone in that circle corks it, I'll find out.
Occasionally when I haven't heard from someone in a while.
Monthly
Occasionally I check on my friends parents I've lost touch with. I've never read the obituary just to see who's on it.
Zero times so far in my life. Am I supposed to?
Never But now I’m going to!
Never
42 here. Only if I'm looking for someone specific that I already knew about.
Never. I already talk to the people I care about.
Used to deal with obituaries multiple times a day. I would submit them and all that fun stuff. I also worked in the funeral industry. Since my body is trying to kill me, never.
Never, that's depressing
Actual Obits? Never
I've got a pretty extended circle of friends that keep me informed.
It's part of my job to read the obits from multiple papers daily.
I haven’t read a physical newspaper in ten years. Where would i find obituaries?
My nanna always checked her local paper to see if someone she knew had passed away. She did this up until 3 days before she died, she had me reading the newspaper to let her know
Never.
Why would I?
I haven't picked up a newspaper in ages, so I don't check the obituaries much at all.
I am in my mid-50's, so I've had 2-3 times where I've looked up an old high school classmate, and found out that they died years ago.
I also get a newsletter from my college 3-4 times a year, and I do check out the 'alumni reports' section. Lately, the 'new job' has become the 'early retirement', and there are not many deaths, but it happens once in a while.
Everyday, I’m at the age, 69, where aqualntences die monthly and it’s good to keep up as opposed to not keeping up
Never. If I don't know someone, I don't need to know if they're alive or not.
Decided to today after reading this and found out my childhood orthodontist died.
Once every 3-6 weeks. Mainly to see if my dad has died.
Never, nor does it come to mind living in a city with a population of over 6 million.
The only one I check is my sorority's monthly magazine to see if anyone from my chapter is listed.
When I used to read an actual paper newspaper I used to scan them. I found a really cool story one time about a World War II soldier who fought in the Battle of the Bulge and liberated a concentration camp. The obituary read that he was kind of a hell raiser and was promoted to the rank of Private First Class seven times. It said he also won $14,000 in a four day long poker game while on his way home from the war on the Queen Mary, he used half the money to pay off his parents house and the other half to buy an Indian motorcycle and then go live it up somewhere and forget the horrors of the war. Sounds like the kind of thing they make a movie about.
I don't seek them out, but when I come across them, I always stop to read who I beat.
Every once in awhile I'll search my favorite teacher's names followed by obituary. Nothing yet.
Literally never. Doesn't occur to me. You must be from a small town, because that's something my husband and his mother would do (they're from a tiny town in IL.) I'm from L.A..
Only if someone I love has passed away.
Why would I?
Maybe twice a year, I check the obits on estranged family members.
Daily. I feel so superior. Im alive, and you're dead.
Only when I’m trying to get clues about how someone from highschool passed 😬
It's never occurred to me to do that.
Literally never.
Never. Unless I’m looking for a specific one.
every week,
Never. Though, I have had google alerts for a few people's obits.
Celebrities. It's been a hobby or habit of mine since childhood.
Edit: RIP Steve Albini. I actually logged into Reddit for responses to his passing.
The only obituaries I look for are the ones I need for records when doing ancestry research, although I’ll occasionally see some new ones linked when I’m on Facebook.
It’s depressing. My dad’s already been gone for 20 years, and my mom for nearly 30. I’m in my late 40s and I’m not particularly enthusiastic to keep up with the obits.
Daily but I work in long term care too
Never
I really wouldn’t even know where to find local obituaries. We don’t have a local newspaper anymore… they had moved online only & I think you have to pay to view articles so I haven’t read anything of theirs in years.
I check to make sure I’m not in there.
I'd have to subscribe to a newspaper to do that and I don't subscribe to one.
Also, if someone I know dies, I'd know anyway.
It's sad but with my non Nuro typical brain if I don't interact with someone for an extended period they essentially cease to exist to me. Like yesterday one of my parents was talking about my youngest brother and my hats going on with them. Up until that moment I'd cometely forgot about him.
Not enough. How I learned a late husband passed. Not like I would have gone to his funeral but ffs nobody told me. It was a rough few minutes thinking about our time together and all the things we shared our dreams and our daughter who doesn’t know me because of him but I am good and whole and have no regrets. R I p You
Everyday. I like to read them too. Once in a while you'll encounter a spicy one!
Never I just wait for someone to post on fb
Maybe once a month? My mom (74) on the other hand…multiple times a day. AND she has noticed that not everyone puts an obit in the paper. When she discovered this, she called me and said “Hmph, not all obits are in the paper anymore. Some are just on the funeral home websites.” She was EXTREMELY put out about this. Then says “That’s ok. I’ll just look at funeral homes’ sites to find out!” As if deceased folk’s families are trying to keep something from her. 🤦🏻♀️. I just said “Ok” and kept it moving. But she keeps me informed on who has departed.
I’m mostly checking the police blotter because that’s where my classmates are ending up. lol but I am also in my hometowns Facebook page where they post obituaries and I look at that since my mom no longer lives where I grew up.
I don't. Friends and acquaintances pass the word about people I (and they) really care about.
Every couple of months to see if someone has finally dropped a house on my aunt, the wicked witch of the midwest.
My mom passed on her habit of reading obituaries to me, so…