Naw. Dad was just playing a practical joke since there is no white-red striped paint. A bucket of two colors would mix. Shopkeeper played around and continued the joke. It's like how construction guys send newbies to get tools that don't exist.
Shut your mouth and go get the stud-stretcher!
Head to the truck and grab me that left handed screwdriver.
Don’t forget the long stand.
We'd send them down to stores for a 'long weight'. After a while, the apprentice would come back and say 'they haven't got any long weights, will two short weights do?'
...so they'd get sent back down for the second. :)
Even better if the shop actually sells them something
Air force here. We got these jokes too. One is "head down to the construction office and get about a half mile of flight line". They carried it forward one time by issuing out all the equipment needed to construct a half mile of "flight line"(aircraft runway/landing field). They didn't actually give him the equipment. But they give him all the forms he needs if he were to check out a bulldozer, cement mixer, paver, steam roller, etc.
That one... Uh... That got us and had us really worried
I always heard of sending someone for a bucket of propwash.
Change the blinker fluid on the car
Man you just reminded me back in early 2000s at tech school (dirt boy at Ft Leonard Wood). Once a week we had to strip the beds and do a "linen exchange" for clean sheets.
We told the new guy in the dorm it was "mattress exchange" and he ended up dragging his flimsy mattress all the way up to laundry to trade it in for a new one
When I was in the navy I got sent for bulkhead remover.(Load bearing wall) I came back with a sazall
“Saws all”
You just say saw zall.
Get it?
What was your MOS?
To be fair, Milwaukee patented the name sawzall back in the 50s and still sells reciprocating saws under the name. So, after 70 years I assume everyone says sawzall instead of reciprocating saw the same way everyone says Kleenex instead of tissue or Coke instead of cola. Also like bandaids, frisbees, chapstick, crockpot, q-tip, etc.
Fun fact: when a brand name becomes more popular and takes over the actual name of the product it's known as genericide.
Army has similar ones. Send soldier to the motor pool with a hammer and tap along the side of an armored vehicle looking for “soft spots” in the armor.
In the field, send a private over to the next platoon to get an EMHO report. Early morning hardon. Looking for time up, time down.
"Keys to the indoor mortar range " is always a good one.
Buddy of mine was on float and got sent for a box of A I R. Joke isnt as good over text, but he was halfway back to his shop with a suspiciously light but large box before he read the issued tag and realized what happemed. Navy fun.
I, on the other hand, sent a young private of the Marine Corps down to the PX for PFC rockers and e-1 chevrons. Theres no rank for an e-1 in thr Marine Corps, as this e-1 should know.
Dad was former AF. They did shit like that all the time on newbies. They did get one new guy who figured out what was what really fast and actually convinced the tools he'd to give him a bunch of equipment that he then signed out in somebody else's name and code and then left that guy to check it back in. Had another guy (dumb as a rock and in the wrong line of work) they sent to fill out a DD ID-10T to get an ash receiver. It was an ash tray and they scared the shit out of him by popping the wrapping (they work munitions and explosives).
Or tells them that they thought they wanted it delivered and it’s already at the site
When I ran this errand 25 years ago the guy sent me to his competitor because he didn't have it
I was in an auto parts store a while back, and they actually had blinker fluid in their parts database. Flux capacitors too.
I know Orielly’s had them listed through Keystone site. I think the part number was 1.21GW
The best backfire I ever heard of was for a long weight. Apprentice came back to site and everyone asked where the weight was. He said 'coming'. Cue confusion which compounded when he insisted it was coming for the next couple of hours.
Then the truck from the engineers showed up....
Full length of 12" schedule 80 pipe, filled with lathe shavings and capped on either end. AND AN INVOICE.
So what they also got was a long WAIT....
Go fill up that bucket with some steam, we need to fill those pipes
So I did construction work for a while when I was a teen helping my moms friend out just as like a part time job in high-school and those guys pulled out every card. Re use saw dust, welding sparks, board stretchers you name it.
So years later I went to work at another place and they tried a bunch of other stuff so I just fucked off for 2 hours and than came back "couldn't find it sorry"
yea, dqd has done this kinds of jokes to me for ages, if anyone else tried it id just sit around and wait for them to come looking
For utilities installation there's always the "pipe stretcher." "This length is too short go to the truck for the pipe stretcher real quick!"
Can the pipe stretcher be used for soft pipes? Asking for a friend.
Do you really want pencil dick?
And where are those level bubbles i asked for??
The Marine Corps version of this is BA 1100 November batteries.
It's especially effective since all batteries are identified as BA (usually a number) *revision letter)
So when they ask for a box of BA 1100 Novembers, you ask them for their ID 10 Tango clearance form and send them back. You can have a newbie wandering around base for hours...
BALLOON batteries and IDIOT clearance form? Lol, that's great!
In tech, it's super common for me and my team to refer to problems as ID 10 T's
See, it's a wetware problem.
I didn't get it until I saw the second one. This would have worked on me.
On the flight deck we'd have them run to the supply room for 50 yards of foul line (foul line being the line painted on the deck), and chocks/chains for the new aircraft B1-RD and the GU-11.
50 feet of flight line was one we'd send them too the air station for. Always fun to watch the zoomies point to the tarmac "there's plenty out there, but you can't take any."
The truck? I can't even find the site until I get some grid squares.
It's not safe to drive that truck, it's low on blinker fluid.
The muffler bearings went bad about 20,000 miles ago but as long as the state cops or DOT don’t do an ID-10T inspection we’ll be alright so keep your mouth shut if we get stopped
Told someone to order a new flux capacitor... I was impressed when they came back with actual ordering info for an item called a flux capacitor
Grid squares are old. We made a kid lug a 155 to FDC because we had to register a round.
Only us Arty would understand that. It deff went over a lot of people's heads.
Much like an arty round. Don’t forget to do a boom check on the tube.
Dude. We had a new chief doing FCATs, and told him he forgot to align the muzzle brake. Best day ever.
There’s no site without site plans. Grab the paper stretcher!
There is exactly one type of screwdriver I know of that technically is chiral, so you could create a “left-handed” variety.
When I was in Boy Scouts it was the “left handed smoke shifter”
That’s sifter, tenderfoot.
Hand me the sky hook. You know, what you hook up to the sky? Come on
Best not send someone out for one, there’s actual equipment called skyhooks now and they run 1-2000 usd.
Just get a few of the $1 ones from Harbor Freight, then
User deleted comment
30d
Well, you learn something new everyday
I can't open the truck until you refill the blinker fluid dumbass
Go ask maintenance for the aluminum magnet.
Stop dicking around with the new guy. I need him to go over to the grinder and get me a jar full of sparks.
“It looks like they’re going in, but when I check, nothing!”
I had a co-worker at a jewelry shop who refused to believe there was a tool called a "ring stretcher" because of this joke. It was hilarious
(Ring stretchers are infact a thing)
😂😂 that is great!
“You heard the king, he’s too fat for his armor! Go and get the breastplate stretcher!”
You heard the king hand, he's the king is too fat for his armor!
Thanks petah I don’t have to edit now
We used to send the apprentice to get the jigsaw and the store manager would send him back to find out how many pieces we wanted.
We used to send them to the basement for the stud stretcher. Point in any direction and say “go”.
Warehouse building with no basement.
They’d wander aimlessly until they’d ask someone in another department, who, knowing the game, would point in the opposite direction and send them on their way. You’d have guy gone for 45 minutes or more before they realized.
We had one kid who beat the system.
In the morming he got sent to get a box of holes or some sparks for the angle grinder, but knew the game and just went to lunch and came back 3 hours later saying he couldn't find them. Got to give him credit for playing us at our own game.
I lost my job on the gay porn set because I thought they were joking.
Not after you get me a metric adjustable wrench!
Shit! We’ll need to bring a bucket of compressed air for that.
Always keep the can of A.I.R on hand.
Stored right next to the can of ID-10T.
Before that, be sure to drain your tires of that winter air and replace it with summer air! Your tires will thank you!
That’s up after I get the Johnson rods replaced! Damn things go out almost once a year.
Aye and they need to be fitted with left handed spanners and you can't be using those without left handed elbow grease it'll bugger the flanges
I have an adjustable wrench that has marking for metric.
For electricians, the go-to is a wire stretcher.
However, wire stretchers are, in fact, a legitimate tool used to build fences.
I, as a fence building farmer turned electrician kept a set of wire stretchers in my truck for YEARS during my apprenticeship hoping that someone would try that on me or another apprentice so I could spin it around on them.
I'm still mad it never happened.
can confirm, I work at a Lumber Yard. When we get a new hire we play the "Hey dude, can you go find me the board stretcher" prank.
Its next to the copper magnet.
“Well you heard the Hand! The King is too fat for his armor! Now go get the breastplate stretcher! Quickly!”
It’s in the trailer next to the dickfor
Go down to supply and get an ID-10-T
Don’t you mean the breastplate stretcher?
King’s too fat for his armor
No, everyone knows that the breastplate stretcher is right beside the rubber staples.
I assure you that there's a tool called a stud stretcher. I have seen the documentary.
In the kitchen we tell newbies to get the bacon stretcher
And the glass hammer
The pipe de-denter
Go to the truck and get the red henway
How’d you know my nickname in college?
It’s called a board stretcher for your information. They keep it next to the elbow greese
I'm an ironworker so it's a metal stretcher and a sky hook. Think Frank had em last.
Ah, the ol' "Go to the store and get some headlight fluid and elbow grease" gag
Did you just say... headlight fluid?
Also see RvB
It was this moment that I knew I would love the series. Kinda went off the rails though.
Kinda went off the rails though.
Arguable. It had high points and low points and changed radically over the years, but I'd never say it went off the rails.
Final season coming out soon.
So sad Rooster Teeth and RvB are dead now. Twenty-one fucking years. Feels so goddamn surreal.
Oh come on, elbow grease? Did you really think they were that stupid? I hope they had a talk your superiors when they came back with that headlight fluid.
If the apprentice is particularly useless, send them off for a long weight.
While you’re at it, get a left handed screwdriver, long stand and a bubble for a spirit level.
it's a classic. I know a story of a kitchen guy who was send back and fourth between three different restaurants to get a bucket of vapor.
Hell yeah the ol "bag of steam"
My sister's first job was in a fast food resturant. They once told her, they needed to filter the air in the walk-in. They gave her a trash bag and told her to fill it up with air, take it outside, and let the air out.
Apparently she spent 30 minutes waving a trash bag around in the walk-in before somebody finally told her.
I had an employee salt the sidewalk during a snowfall using a salt shaker from one of the tables.
I once heard someone ask where the blinker fluid was while I was at Auto Zone lmfao
We used ”box of radar contacts”
In the army we'd have the new guy collect exhaust samples from trucks or send him to get a box of grid squares.
Chem light batteries
Go ask first sergeant for the brass magnet for our police call
Go ask sergeant for some pricky 5 pins.
The keys to the flight line/dz
Once had a new guy check the armor of a tank for “soft spots” by tapping all the panels with a ball peen hammer and listening for the “soft sound”
We do this in aircraft maintenance too, that or go CTK to get a yard of flight line.
Same when I worked on the ramp at the airport. 'Hey noob, run across the ramp and ask the guys at [competing FBO] if they can lend us a gallon of prop wash.'
According to my Navy vet family, they would send the new guy to get a bucket of steam.
When we had bad reception, we'd send someone to find the signal guy to get a bucket of squelch.
I sent an ex of mine into an auto zone to get me some blinker fluid once. She came back a couple of minutes later, all embarrassed saying, "The whole store was laughing at me!!"
Not the reason we became exes, but it probably didn't help, lol
Lmao this was a teenage boy whose dad set him up but everyone who heard him did laugh lol
The most fun I have ever had buying windshield wipers for sure
My brother used to work at O'Reilly's. They would send new guys across the street to AutoZone to get a radiator for a '63 VW Beetle.
I'm not a car guy, but even I know beetles were air cooled.
That's a good one (and one of the few in this thread I haven't heard of)
That's bullshit, I've seen stripe paint being used in cartoons.
I worked at Domino’s and Papa John’s at different times over the years. Every store I worked at knew about the “dough patch repair kit” joke. If someone ripped a hole in the dough while stretching it, you’d send some noob to the nearest Domino’s or PJ’s to ask to borrow their dough patch repair kit. With any luck, the folks at that store would say they didn’t have one, and that the noob should go ask at a different store. I only ever heard of one guy who actually went to 3 different stores, but I wasn’t around for it, so it may have been a tall tale.
My cousin had a good old laugh when he sent me out to get some sky hooks.
He wasn’t laughing when I gave him the receipt for twenty quids worth of sky hooks because they’re a real thing and he’s an idiot.
We do this in restaurants too.. poor newbs. If you have never worked in one there is a soda machine in the back to fill drinks. it also has a water dispenser. We had a new guy come who had never worked in the food business. we told him he needed to empty the water out so we can fill it back up tomorrow with fresh water.... It connected to a water source... it never empties. 5 giant buckets of water later and he finally caught one.. poor bastard.
The first ever time i worked in a kitchen, the head chef sent me over to the bar next door to ask if they could lend us a bucket of steam. They sent me to another restaurant down the road telling me they would give one to me if i could get the parsley curler they borrowed the week before... i went through 6 buildings that night until one of the servers called out my dumbass.
I had a chef one time have me make fried ice-cream in the air fryer after I breaded it.
Needless to say I spent the latter half of the evening cleaning out the fryer
When i was an intern in a tv production company the producer (who was genuinely bad at technical stuff) sent me to fetch a "camera spatula". To this day i don't know what he wanted...
This isn’t exclusive to construction work… “I need you to find the left handed whiskey glass.”
Every night we drain the hot water from the coffee maker, get a big bin it takes a while
“Ima need you to go get some blinker fluid.”
When I was in the military, our motor pool sergeant loved sending people to his boss to ask for an I.D.10Tango.
I am still waiting on that board stretcher
Bring me a Styrofoam cup of acetone ASAP!
First day on the flight line as a 15s crew chief, my supervisor told me the screw on the nose cone travels all the way through the jet.
Never mind I had seen the inside as part of my training, but he did have gullible little airman me going for a half second.
Hey, Peter's live-in remodeler here.
The dad and shopkeeper were both trolling them. Striped paint isn't a thing you can buy in any form, horizontal or vertical.
The dad may have sent him out so he could have a friend over, but I think he got mad when he realized he had been had.
But hey, I gotta go. I have an appointment to top off the blinker fluid in my van.
Don't forget to change your sparkplug bearing too. It's really important.
It's May. Be sure to put the summer air in your tires.
Lmao in my early 20s had a teenage girl at my work convinced she needed blinker fluid since he blinker was out. Nearly killed all of our coworkers laughing when she came to work pissed off the next day after actually went to an AutoZone and asked if they could top off her blinker fluid since she couldn't find where to put it. 🤣🤣🤣
I work at a paint store so I was like bro just needs the striping paint I’m lost but now I see, I feel dumb lol
Check your piston return springs are still holding up.
Peter's military brother, let me tell you about getting a box of grid squares, a yard of flight line, and a bucket of prop wash.
We used to send guys out to look for a plane with the tail number “Papa Uniform 55 Yankee”
I still remember the first time a young private came to me looking for the "Pricky Six".
PRC-E6
...The misdirection is in the radio unit designation
I was an E-5, so, you know, stuff gets lost in implementation.
I know a guy in our ships AIMD department that they sent him to get a bucket of prop wash and comes back with an empty bucket he said he “stood next to one of the helos for a sec”
Touché kid.
Batteries for the sound-powered phone...
don’t forget your pen-15s and your BA-11s
There’s the prop wash, I thought people weren’t cleaning em anymore dang
Hey man don't forget the Chem light batteries this time
Us artillery guys never ran out of level bubbles.
Hey it’s your turn to catch the mail buoy!
Gotta get the Left Handed Monkey Wrench
Looking at OP's post history and the amount of jokes needed to be explained to them leads me to believe they're either a troll, or really stupid.
All of the above. OP is def an alt-right anti-trans Trumpin' troll:
https://old.reddit.com/r/Conservative/comments/1c7anux/this_school_absolutely_disgusts_me_theres_no/
https://old.reddit.com/r/Conservative/comments/1bzc7o8/rantiwork_is_full_of_far_left_communists/
https://old.reddit.com/r/Conservative/comments/1bza5bi/great_now_lets_ban_people_from_become_trans/
https://old.reddit.com/r/Conservative/comments/188r9lk/good_i_dont_want_rainbow_people_at_my_dinner/
Most of his offensive posts are on the heavily moderated conservative sub because that's his "safe space".
Welp
It's the old army joke on newbies. You send the new guy to get something for you that doesn't exist and that he should be able to suss out that it doesn't exist.
Muffler bearings.
A tube of RF power.
A box of grid squares.
A left-handed socket wrench/monkey wrench/screwdriver.
The gag is for each person to send the newbie on to another person and so on and so forth. Supply, the motor pool, platoon sergeant, first sergeant, the XO, the CO, etc.
It's best just to play along even after you figure it out (or even if you know it doesn't exist in the first place) and do your best to seem eager and make a good impression. You're introducing yourself to all these people. Then laugh at yourself afterwards. It creates a great impression.
Don't forget the PRC-E7s
Don't forget the PRC-E7s if you're in commo
There are two types of people:
1) Those who can extrapolate from incomplete information.
and what else... i don't get it. ima post this on r/Peterexplainsthejoke.
And those that have affairs
My first day as a busser when I was a kid the kitchen told me to empty the coffee machine of hot water. The coffee machine was directly hooked up to water in the building. I filled up like 5 buckets with boiling hot water until a server asked what the fuck I was doing.
Ha! Yeah when I bartended I saw the dishwasher trying to drain the coffee machine cause the kitchen guys told him he could go home early if he did lol
The kitchen is always ruthless, almost like they are stoned out of their mind and just having some fun. Oh wait...
We would send people to do “ice inventory”
The first ever time i worked in a kitchen, the head chef sent me over to the bar next door to ask if they could lend us a bucket of steam. They sent me to another restaurant down the road telling me they would give one to me if i could get the parsley curler they borrowed the week before... i went through 6 buildings that night until one of the servers called out my dumbass.
“Go fetch the breast plate stretcher!”
Bobbbbbbbyyyyyy B
OP would have walked calmly back in and asked "horizontal or vertical?"
It's not even a joke, the fucking gag in the post is thoroughly explained as if the guy is telling his little story to you directly. Are people in this sub this fucking dense?
Are people in this sub this fucking dense?
bad news, my guy
My dad got a job at GM in the 60's and they sent him around the whole factory looking for "sky hooks". It was a big factory.
No this is just a classic dad prank. Send your kid to a friend's shop. Tell them to bring back something that does not exist. Dad's shopkeeper friend improvises and continues the prank. Kid is confused as fuck. Many such cases all across the world.
I'm turkish. My dad once sent me to get "drum powder" and "minaret's shadow". Then his shopkeeper friend just said "yeah we don't have any but come back tomorrow". I went there the next day the fucker just laughed. I was so fucking pissed.
Y’all holy shit some of these posts on this sub are So goddamn stupid like how tf do people who need to ask us to explain this one function in daily life?
Half of humanity has an IQ below 100. What do you expect?
N9t this one in particular, but some of the posts on here aren't even jokes. I've started to believe that they are either idiots or just looking for easy karma.
Nah dude, it’s a karma farm. See joke, repost here with question, get upvotes.
“Petah, what is brown and sticky about a stick? Aren’t they normally hard?”
In professional kitchens I have heard of: the grouper pump, a bucket of steam, and dehydrated water.
Sounds like the paint equivalent of blinker fluid for the car.
He fell for a practical joke from his father. These kinds of jokes are called “Fool’s errand”.
Old Marine here. Our newbies would be told to get an ST-1 from another company, who would of course comply and provide the heavy metal box labeled ST-1 for the newbie to lug back to our shop. A large,heavy stone wrapped in rags would be inside…
Don't forget the BA-1100 N
We once told a new person to go to the meat dept at our store and get the hamburger bun repair kit. She went and asked. They immediately knew what we were doing and sent her to two other departments. She came back unhappy. We were dying. It was the first thing she did to another newbie😂
Most of the comments have explained it, but one time when I was in high school my dad told my best friend that he needed to get the winter air changed out of his tires for summer air. He left, went a tire shop, told them, they deflated and reinstated all four of his tires and told him “since you’re a first time customer it’s free.” Took him until the following winter when he went back to get winter air to realize it was a joke.
I swear half the people who post in this sub don't have two brain cells to rub together
This has to be a troll. Right?
Go fetch some blinker fluid
Pipe stretchers actually do/did exist and they are hella expensive. One site sent a guy to town, he found it and got it brought in as a rental for the company.
Roughly 50k in rental fees later they tried to fire him. It didnt work, too many people were perfectly willing to say yes, he was in fact sent for a pipe stretcher...
Your elevator doesn’t go quite all the way to the top, does it, OP?
I believed in headlight fluid for far too long
Once sent a cook to the restaurant next door to ask for left handed tongs
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