Our doctor basically told us our two month old should be having just two naps a day. Right now, he only contact naps. We try to put him down but every time we do, he cries. Our doc is insisting we try to put him in his crib for naps but we just tried it and it was too much for us to see him crying uncontrollably. How do we get him to sleep without us holding him?
Any advice? Is he too young to be sleep trained?
Your doctor is weird. A 2 months old will not manage to stay up for long enough between naps to whittle it down to 2 naps. - I'd ask him to give ne his sources so I can have a look at them myself and compare thrm with the information I have.
Also, kiddo is still so new and getting used to being part of the world. As long as contact naps are not causing a safety issue or you truly want to stop them, I don't know why you should need to.
lol I thought it was odd. He actually told us that we should have started at one month! He wasn’t too keen on the fact that he was sleeping on/with us so much. Thanks for your input
Honestly, this is so off base, I would change pediatricians because I wouldn’t be able to trust his advice going forward.
This feels very boomer, is this a boomer?
I would absolutely change peds after this terrible advice!
He’s super old school and not up to date on the current research
One thing to consider is his concern for SIDS because of contact naps. They are so floppy still so he is probably partial boomer and partial concern. When you try to put LO down do you have a sound machine, dark room swaddled? All the things? My babies all napped swaddled on a boppy lounger and did it very well. I usually had a muslin blanket underneath so it was warmer on their head or even preheated the lounger with my microwave warmy so they wouldn’t wake up after falling asleep at the boob.
At 2 months my first was still having about 5 naps a day. Their recommended wake window at that age is still less than 2 hours.
Yes, I would say 2 months is too young to sleep train. I believe the minimum recommendation is 4 months and even then there’s huge debate. Do what you’re comfortable with, not what your doctor is comfortable with. If contact naps on demand are working for you there’s no need to change that.
If it’s not working for you, and you need to persist with crib naps, I’d recommend starting by putting him in the crib when he’s awake and happy to begin with. Going from sleeping in your arms to suddenly being in a relatively big and open space can be jarring for a baby. Getting him used to it when he’s not in a tired or upset state will help a lot.
Thank you for this
You need to change your pediatrician. 4-5 naps a day are absolutely normal and expected at this age, babies need to sleep, sleep-deprivation is detrimental for their health.
Why is your doctor so concerned with his naps and where he naps?
My 12week old naps 4-5 times a day. He also sleeps much better with contact naps. He currently is only awake for 60-90 minutes before he naps again.
2 months is too young to sleep train. “Crying it out” is not something they understand. They just cry until they are so exhausted that they literally cannot stay awake any longer. All they need is routine. There is nothing wrong with them wanting to be held, he is an infants. Baby carriers help a ton.
I don’t usually say this, but I’d suggest looking for a different doctor. Trying to force a 2 month old into a 2 nap a day schedule is wild and developmentally beyond inappropriate. My younger twins are very consistent/“easy” nappers (night time is a different story lol) and they didn’t drop to 2 naps until they were around a year old. They’re now down to 1 nap at almost 2, and I think that switch was around 18 months.
Do you need to stop the contact naps for a reason (like is he entering daycare and there won’t be any way for him to have contact naps) or just bc of the dr’s opinion?
If you don’t have an actual reason to stop the contact naps, I would enjoy them while you can.
We do enjoy them. It would be great to have 20 mins where I can put him down and do dishes, cook a meal, maybe my physio exercises… the doc just made it seem like we were setting him up for failure later with a bad habit
Yea, I’d find a new dr. I don’t say that lightly, it just seems like this dr is completely clueless about newborn/infant reality.
Nothing wrong with contact naps, it's where human babies are meant to sleep and it has huge benefits for them to be close to us all the time. If you need some hands free time look into baby wearing ♥️
I present my three kids. All primarily contact sleepers (the youngest was about 50/50 - she was my best sleeper). They know how to sleep in their own beds, in their own rooms. Only one of the three required some tears to get there (but didn’t even have to do any variation of cry it out).
Safe sleep is important. Let the baby decide how much sleep they need.
Thanks for sharing. I was worried about him sleeping on me and whether it’s safe. I’m worried because I read that the risk of SIDs is higher during this time
Sleeping on you actually helps a baby regulate their breathing and heart rate. It presents other risks though, specifically if you fall asleep with baby. I did bed share, but I absolutely warn people to be very very strict about following safe protocols, these days referred to as the Safe 7 I think. It’s baby’s life.
Trigger Warning: Infant Loss
That’s my fear. At night he sleeps in his bassinet
If he’s able to sleep independently at night, then there’s even less concern about contact napping. For as long as you’re willing, roll with it. He feels safe there.
We had a bedside sleeper with our younger two and they spent most of the night in it. It was me begging for a couple extra hours in the morning that we bed shared for, but still kept our bed set up for it all night. Not worth it to forget to move the blanket, etc.
Unless YOU as the parents aren’t having issues with don’t contact naps, I wouldn’t worry too much about it. Both mine contact napped until 5/6 months for the most part. 2 naps a day for a 2 month old seems insane to me, like someone above said - try to look into wake windows more than amount of naps per day at this age. You’re pediatrician seems outdated and pushy, I’d find one who lets you be the parents. Pediatricians are great, I love ours - BUT you’re the one who spends day in and day out with your child, as long as you aren’t putting them in harms way and following safety guidelines I’d say trust your gut.
The doctor is a tool. Every baby is different and you can’t really control when they sleep. I have a 1 and a half month old and he is napping like 3-4 times a day because he is HUGE and eats every 2 hours so he gets sleepy at the breast and he’s a pretty fussy guy. At night, he will sleep up to 4 hours maximum. The 1st week we got home he was up all night. During that period, I did not put him down in his bassinet hardly at all for naps and kept him in the bright, busy parts of the house all day to try to prevent deep sleep during the day. He gradually shifted to night sleeps. Right now he’s a bit like clock work. Down for the night 7-8pm wakes at 11pm for milk, wakes at 2-3am for milk, and wakes at 6am for milk, and around 7-8am he’ll be ready to stay up for a bit. His wake windows are still pretty short though. Sometimes 30 minutes, but no more than 2 hours before he is back to sleep. I hold him as much as I can, but I have a daughter to tend to as well, so I try to have him sleep in his bassinet or his bouncer too. The bouncer is great since he is so gassy. The upright position and gentle bouncing helps him a lot.
Ours will not stay in anything but our arms- not the swing, bouncer, or bassinet so it has made it tough to do stuff like cook, clean, shower unless someone else is home with me.
It’s normal. Hang in there. Some days are so hard, but we do it for the smiles and chunky thighs. 🥹
Thank you 🥰 yes I’m loving it all
Do baby carriers work? My baby rejected it at first but when i tried again a few months later, he liked it. That helped me a lot. Still does.
I will try again. Tried the ergo baby but he wasn’t a fan and it hurt my back (I stood the whole time). Which carrier do you use?
Mine hurts my shoulders mostly. Don't even know which one i have, got gifted this one. Tried looking for others but every one of them seems like they are built the same.
I liked stretchy wraps in the early months with all mine. They might seem daunting at first, but once you figured out how to tie them, they are actually really easy to use, and they keep baby nice and close and snuggly
I tried the wraps. The technique was relatively easy, but my baby hated it pretty much every time i tried it.
So normal! 2 months is still so little. Before you know it baby will begin to have more time awake and you will be able to engage them while you get other stuff done. If you have a wrap or carrier that might help you get some things done.
lol what? Your pediatrician is crazy. No two month old takes two naps.
That’s what I thought too… 🥺he told us to try to keep him awake when we can so he sleeps longer at night. Its literally impossible
Keeping them awake for longer actually does the opposite and makes them worse sleepers due to being overtired. You need a new pediatrician.
I feel like at LEAST 4 naps is normal at that stage. My son slept on and off all day back then, I didn’t even keep track cuz it was all contact naps or stroller.
I feel like sleep advice does not have to end with whatever your pediatrician says, especially if they are not a parent themselves. Sure, consider what they have to say, but not sure they are the end-all be-all on this topic.
I’d find a new doctor. That just feels so young for such big wake windows.
My son has always been a good sleeper (21 months) and he eventually grew out of contact naps though he fell asleep on me a few weeks ago and I just let him sleep cause I miss my little baby 🥺 my son didn’t go down to two naps until like 7m (I thinks, time is a blur these days lol) then he decided to be grown and drop to one just before 12m and now he takes one 2 hour nap a day lol
You need to switch doctors - their advice is terrible and just fully wrong so how can they be trusted with anything? All babies are different but most babies that age would be having about 4 naps a day I should think with short wake windows - about an hour and a half max.
Yes he's far too young to be sleep trained - 6 months min and even then it's a grey area.
My baby contact napped on me until about 3 months but only stopped because I was forced to find an alternative when I got a very bad back. Our alternative was the opposite of all the sleep safe advice so I can't really recommend! But it definitely didn't involve just leaving her in a crib crying.
Keep contact napping whenever your baby is tired! Follow your parental instincts. There no such thing as „too much love“ and sleep is where the brain develops!
Thanks ☺️
For some kids, yes. 2 months is too early. For others, it goes easy. Welcome to the "joys" of parenting, where SOMEbody always thinks that you are wrong.
Beyond that, you kind of have to feel your way thru it. Not definitive advice, but that's also a part of parenting.
So.... Relax as best you can and do your best.
Your doctor is wrong. He’s too young to fully sleep Train. There’s some things you can do to help some independence though. Find some sleep consultants online. When my son was 2 months he was still sleeping like 20 hours a day. He dropped to 2 naps around 7 months. Down to 1 nap at 15 months.
Do your best but please above all don’t let anyone stress you out or put pressure on you
I am a current student of psych. Actually in child psychology this semester and they are really starting to say the whole sleep training thing is not great. That being said I also continue to read in every psych class that stress is realllllly bad for both you and the baby. I would say you need to go with whatever eases your own stress. We definitely need doctors they are wonderful but they are also just going by what they read in textbooks when they went to school. Which changes more frequently than you'd imagine.
All of that aside I am a mother with 4 children under 8. Our youngest just turned 4. My kids slept with me in bed when they were little I used a docatot, and sometimes just my chest. I mean the studies show that the children who survived to reproduce were the ones who were able to maintain close proximity with their parents at alllll times. So they are literally hardwired to want to be touching you at all times. Yes you can "sleep train" a child but it literally goes against their biology which is why both of you are feeling extremely anxious and uncomfortable.
This is so child-specific. A 2 month old might sleep on their own but is more likely to still want contact naps. Swaddling might help. A fan or other gentle/white noise might help. There’s no need - and no benefit - to forcing it. Baby will sleep exactly how and when he or she wants to.
It was for us.
Each child is different. Every paediatrician worth their salt knows that at this age there are only general guidelines to track a child's development.
My son was content to sleep in his crib at this age. And he would fall asleep on his own half of the time.
My daughter was not able to nap unless she was held.
So, do what is better for your baby. And if napping while on your chest or holding your pinkie is more comfortable for her then do that. Eventually their preferences change and will require a different routine. You, on the other hand, will have the memories and the knowledge that as a parent you prioritized your child's needs.
Thank you. :) will continue to do things this way. I’m writing this while he has fallen asleep on me and it’s the best, I want to enjoy these moments
I've always just followed what my kiddos wanted to do nap wise until much older when they had a bedtime that a late nap interfered with. My 2nd would happily do 4 or 5 hours awake at that age and have 2 longer naps some days and others he would get up at 9am and be asleep at 10.30am. I just went with the flow.
Your doctor is weird. It’s definitely too young. At this age, naps are whenever the baby wants it.
My daughter in 4 month old and it changes everyday. She sometimes naps 2 hours in the morning and 30 minutes around 2pm and 1 hour around 6pm. Sometimes it’s the complete opposite. As long as she rest enough not to be cranky in the evening, it’s all good.
If your child is tired, then they're tired and let them sleep. Ours napped constantly.
We transitioned into 3 naps a day around that age... I don't remember exactly when. But mine definitely stayed at 3 naps a day for quite a while before going down to just 2.
I think the schedule was 10:30-11:30, 2-3, and 4:30-5:30. Whatever you choose, about 2-hour waking periods during the day is pretty normal. It helped us a lot getting on a regular schedule.
Here's a good/standard link. Looks like the 3 nap schedule comes closer to 3-4 months, and 4-5 naps is still normal at 2 months. Lol I do not remember at all, mine had colic at that age, whee sleep deprivation. Good luck!
https://www.babycenter.com/baby/sleep/how-much-sleep-do-babies-and-toddlers-need_7645
That’s not correct for age. I don’t know where some of these doctors get recommendations but there’s recommended sleep and awake time by age supported by sleep studies. Babies two months old should only be awake for 60 minutes at a time.
2 months: Wake times are 60 minutes
3 months: Wake times are 1-1.5 hours
We recommend following wake times to get you through the day. Keep your expectations low, keep your drive high. By the time they are 3 months adjusted, you can anticipate a day that looks like 1/1/1.25/1.25/1.5 and so on, to get you through the day. Try to prioritize 12 hours of night (even if they are waking), by keeping the "night" setting for about 12 hours. You shouldn't follow a firm DWT, but more of a range, until 16 weeks adjusted. For me, that looked like a goal of 8am, but anything after 6am was considered morning.
Night setting is feeding changing and putting baby back to sleep right away keeping lights low and as little talking as possible.
That is WILD. No a 2 month old should be sleeping whenever they need. 5x? Fine! 10x? Go ahead! My 3.5 yr old still takes a nap once a day and it’s very needed. Don’t skip purposefully skip on sleep it’s so important for their development! 2-3 months is still like a newborn phase
Your doctor is insane and completely out of touch with what’s developmentally appropriate. The “3 naps to 2 transition” typically happens at 6-9 months. Easily Googlable using this phrase.
At 2 months, the number of naps would typically not be the same every day, and more likely it’s around 4-5 times.
You can also look up optimal awake time charts, which are probably going to say that a 2 mo baby should only be staying awake for 1-1.5h between naps, excluding the late evening where they may be fussy but won’t sleep until they finally crash for the night.
You little one is only little once. Contact naps are great for bonding for both of you. I feel like at 2 months my little one was only awake to eat. Follow the baby’s cues, not the drs. I also always googled “wake windows____ age” to see if my little one was at least near that, but my 2nd required more sleep. She’s meeting all milestones but def needed more sleep than my first. I need more sleep than my husband…
Mine didn’t nap until about 9 months. Naps got better when he was a year. When my second was born I thought there was sobering with him because he napped.
lol what?? No way. My 2 month old was still waking up every two hours. No such thing as naps. That didn’t really regulate until 6-7 months and that was still 2-3 naps
My 7 yo is a great sleeper and I rocked him to sleep all the time as a baby regardless of what the pediatrician said. I also let him have his milk in a bottle after 1 yo (he drank water out of cups) and a pacifier for sleeping till 3. He’s got great teeth. Listen to your doctor on medical stuff, but when it comes to loving your kid I think it’s ok to listen to your heart.
Seems like your family doctor is that, old school and a family doctor. Good, it's nice to have one. Now go find a pediatrician, your advice will change drastically with one.
This is the paediatrician, he is well known and came highly recommended. I am still in shock, especially after reading everyone’s comments reaffirming what we thought. I feel like a terrible parent for trying to let him sleep alone in his crib today and for letting him cry as long as we did (maybe 10 mins). I feel awful and won’t be doing it again soon
It’s okay!! Do not beat yourself up. Baby will be just fine. Keep following your instincts to hold the babe. you’re doing great.
Thanks 🥹🩵
This was terrible advice from the ped. I’d switch!
I have an 8.5 month old and he's now learning 2 naps instead of 3. It's up to your baby how much he wants to sleep. Sure you can help him stay a little bit onger so he can sleep longer at night, but at 2 months they still will nap like 4-5 times per day.. Your doctor is wrong.
I got my LO to nap on his own crib during the morning naps when he was around 2-3 months old. When he's asleep on your arms, gently put him down and have the background noise machine on. When he wakes up, most likely crying because you're not around, come soon so he learns that you are near. It takes time for them to learn this though. My 8.5 month old wakes up on his own sometimes and just hangs out playing in crib but a few other times he cries calling for me or his dad.
Personally, from long days with events and holidays (rare occasions) I find their sleep is a bit more important than their food during these times..when they've caught up on their sleep then you can do the usual routine again..
Your doctor is not the doctor for your baby. I'd change GPs immediately. Are you still swaddling? Could be baby feels too exposed when put down so maybe try swaddling or lying down with baby on a bed with absolutely zero pillows or blankets/sheets/comforters/doonas/bedding of any sort except a well tucked fitted sheet. Once baby is asleep on the bed you can slowly transfer them to more on the bed than your arms and gently separate. You'll need baby bed rails to make sure the bed is safe, especially if they're rolling, or will need to stay the whole nap. Have you tried naps in a pram/stroller? The movement of the stroller and not being displaced once asleep may also help
Is his doctor older? I feel like the “they need to sleep on their own” mindset is much more prevalent in the older generations, specifically boomers. Babies wanting their moms all the time is a survival instinct.
My little dude in 7 months and taking 2, most days even 3 naps a day, lasting 30-45 minutes a piece. At 2m he was taking 4-6 naps a day still
This is the fun part of listening to your doctor’s advice and also doing your own research and listening to your mom gut to find what’s right and best (within reason) for your baby and your family. The AAP guidelines are very black and white and don’t apply to all babies and have a lot of “cover your ass” type rules for the medical field. My first child contact napped until 2.5 when she cut naps altogether. And we bed shared until around age 5 or 6. My second child has napped independently pretty much since birth and happily naps and sleeps in his own room/bed (although we room shared for the first 8 or so months.) Even with the same parenting style, every child is different and has different needs. Snuggle that baby of yours! (And be sure to look up and follow the safe sleep 7 or whatever the term regarding safely bed sharing if you choose to do so.) oh and get yourself a solid baby carrier to “wear” your baby for those naps so you can be hands free even in your own home!
4 months old is the absolute earliest you could sleep train. I agree with other commenters that you should consider changing pediatricians.
Find a new paediatrician. That is insane advice! My 2 year old son just dropped from 2 to 1 nap a day. A 2 month old needs about 5 naps a day. I wouldn't even consider sleep training at all until your baby is much, much older. Ignore what the paediatrician has said. Let your baby nap as much as they like, even contact naps.
A two months old should be eating four times a day about every four hours and sleeping mostly through the nite. . Please find another doctor this one is not healthy. Praying for you. God bless you and your family. So thankful for this precious little one.
Ignore your doctor and pay attention to your baby,it sounds like you already are and that you know the cues that show when they need sleep. If they look sleepy, help them sleep. As long as they're in a safe position it's fine. They don't have any sense of day and night or of routine at that age.
Sleep training is not recommended under 5 months old, and honestly, is super outdated. If you don't want to contact nap, I would be consistent and once they are asleep, put them in the crib/bassinet. If they wake up, pick them up and hold them for the rest of the nap. You can use a carrier if you want to be hands free. With time and patience, the length of time they stay asleep by themselves will slowly increase. They key with children is repetition. It may take 20 times for something to click, but eventually it will.
I contact napped my son until he went to daycare at 16 months, and still cosleep with him occasionally when he needs it (he is nearing 2.5 years old). Every child's needs and capabilities are different. Some babies sleep well alone, some don't. At 2 months old, everything is still so fresh for them. Be patient, give your child grace, and follow their needs, so long as it isn't inconvenient for you.
Also, highly recommend switching doctors.
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