Lorelai's proposal to Luke: out of love or out of desperation?

Some fans say that she proposed to him out of love, while others say she proposed to him because she was feeling frustrated because of what happened with Rory, as if she had failed as a mother, so she desperately wanted to marry Luke and have another child, as if she wanted to do things differently.

I personally believe that she proposed to him out of pure love, especially after seeing how much he cares about Rory, and this is what she said to the therapist in (6.22).

I think you can see this in the transformation in her facial expressions that there is realization and true love. Good acting from Lauren in this scene.

So, What do you think? Which of the two opinions do you agree with?

in GilmoreGirlsby Cr7-Cr7Real

188

97%

lorelai_luke

372

Based on Lorelai’s conversation with the therapist at the end of s6, she proposed here because she realized how deeply Luke truly cared for Rory. She went into this relationship already knowing that she loved him and that he’d always protect her. Seeing this courtesy be extended to her daughter in the most sincere and genuine way made her realize that she was finally ready to seal the deal

So, to put it short, Lorelai proposed out of love for Luke’s love for her and Rory. I think this is when she was hit with an intense feeling of family since Luke proved once and for all that he’d do anything for both of the Gilmore girls. He’s loyally devoted to them in a way that you can only expect from family, so she decided to make it official by proposing 🤷🏻‍♀️

Beautiful-Walrus2341

107

I think also it’s directly juxtaposed to her experience with her partners who she saw as betraying her at this moment. She comes to Luke, and is like oh this is the reaction I needed and always want in my life. This is my partner, this is my ride or die and who I want by myself for problems for myself and my kid. He gets it when no one else seems to.

lorelai_luke

Yes! Even before they started dating, Lorelai always sought out Luke whenever she was going through an emotional crisis (Rory too always goes to Luke when she feels like her mom doesn’t hear what she’s saying). And I suppose this moment really highlighted to Lorelai that Luke has always been there and will continue to always be there for her and her daughter.

To add on to this, this is a time when Lorelai feels betrayed by Rory AND her parents but Luke proves that he has her back. Some fans may call this desperation but for me it’s simply a display of unconditional love and support that ultimately pushed Lorelai to propose

worththewait96

304

Team Blue 🧢

Out of love. It's why the camera is focused on her face and not Luke who is doing all the talking/ranting. We're supposed to see the look on her face, the realisation that she is completely in love with this man and wants to spend the rest of her life with him. The ends he will go to for Rory (and for her) are unmatched by anyone else.

Nott2024

Yess I totally agree . I saw that to

Budget_Front1324

This 💯

compliancethis

Such incredible acting.

rmtwentythree

💯 agree! The changes on her facial expressions are incredible. Amazing performance. It’s like you can see what she is thinking on every frame.

blissingmeee

God they didn’t even try to match her season 5 hair in those last two pictures did they?
Also absolutely out of love, seeing how much Luke cared about Rory flicked a switch like ‘oh I need to marry him’, Lauren did an amazing job showing the whole thing without saying anything

outofthxwoods

Team Coffee

that's what I think every time I watch the beginning of s6, it's a weird thing to nitpick but she looks soooo different, I feel like her makeup is different too

Visual-Philosopher-1

Haven’t you heard that immediately upon getting engaged the engagement fairy comes and gives you a perfect face of makeup and longer, fuller hair with luscious waves?

peppa4theppl

I always think about this! During the original air, it made no difference. There was so much time in between. Now we immediately start the next season and everyone’s hair and tan is so different 😂

PinkPositive45

Love, Lauren shows it in her acting. It’s all over her face.

Lorelai sees a man stepping up for her and Rory. She sees someone who is going to be there for her always. He’s not going anywhere, and he’s consistent.

Objective-Orchid-741

Out of love. As you pointed out, she explains her thought process in that moment to the therapist in s6 finale.

With that said, Lorelai can have an avoidant personality when bad things are happening, so I think there was a small element of her that also liked the idea of going from a deeply sad feeling to a happy one. I don’t think this was the driver of the proposal though, but it was a byproduct she didn’t hate.

ESLteacher_sortof

She felt loved and protected. And secured in a relationship that also included her daughter.

Lorelai definitely proposed out of love and the hope for a family 100%

Objective-Orchid-741

Re being secure in a relationship that includes Rory, what I found most interesting about this scene is I genuinely believe it Max did the exact same rant Luke did she would see it as a complete overstep. She didn’t want to let Max into their relationship, or anyone before Luke.

ESLteacher_sortof

She would’ve stopped Max right there with something like “Rory is my daughter. Fuck off” and go to Luke for help/emotional support

Objective-Orchid-741

100000%. She would have run to look so fast even before they were together. Luke is the only person (aside from maybe Sookie) she ever willingly allowed to even have an opinion about Rory without knee jerk rejection of Rory being “HER daughter.”

Grouchy_Lobster_2192

It’s love. She has never felt this type of unconditional support, and it’s highlighted by the fact that she feels so betrayed by how Emily & Richard responded to Rory’s situation. She’s spent her whole life experiencing love that is conditional. For this first time Lorelei is in a relationship with someone who could truly be a partner, someone who understands her relationship with Rory, respects it, and is on the exact same page as her. Yes he would do anything for Rory, and he would also do anything for her. That’s powerful stuff.

ESLteacher_sortof

Unconditional love. That’s Lorelai’s biggest quest. Her reason to move on from single parent to being open to have a family in the “standard” way.

Her parents wanted her to fit in a world she hated in order to show her acceptance. Christopher had a childish version of love and family that repelled freedom or recognition of Rory as a separate person. The other guys lacked Lorelai’s trust in some way or another.

HisSpo2345

100% out of love. She was reminded of how much he loved and cared about Rory and it made her realize she wanted to be married to him

jamiewithaj

God lives in London?

Love. She realized how much Luke was already a part of their family (Rory and Lorelai), especially since he loved them unconditionally. Everything clicked at that moment for Lorelai.

Ideepuv

🍂 Sitting by the Bonfire 🪵🔥

Pure love and seeing this man care so much about her daughter just brought out that love and joy that she wants this in her life forever!

poison_peaxh

I think it's both, but more out of love than desperation. The desperation part is like a tiny droplet in a sea of love.

She says it out of love because you can see that she realizes she loves him because he's ranting about how they need to help Rory. Him being super stressed over this issue made her realize that this man really cares about them.

However, Luke does ask if she's sure she wants to celebrate now and she does say, "I just want to be happy right now." Obviously, we know why she's upset, but this line made me think that the current circumstances may have made her impulsive cuz her own daughter is being impulsive.

Idk that's just my opinion. Either way, I think it truly was more out of love. I just wish we got to see their first time saying ily to each other instead of jumping straight to being engaged.

RandomThoughts606

The one thing I've noticed about so many of the marriages in Gilmore Girls is that they were done on impulse.

Max proposed to Lorelei impulsively because he wanted to date her so badly and felt the only way they could get past the issues of her being a mom and him being her daughter's teacher would be to be husband and wife.

Luke and Nicole impulsively got married on their cruise.

Dean impulsively proposed to Lindsay likely because she was ready to dump him after watching her boyfriend get into a fight with his ex's new boyfriend, basically fighting over his ex. He proposed really to try to calm her fears even though he wasn't over Rory.

Jackson in many ways impulsively proposed to Sookie when they were only at a point in their relationship that they would maybe move in together.

Zach impulsively proposed to Lane to get her back after they broke up.

For Lorelei, Rory going off to her parents is the ultimate and most painful blow she could ever feel. It meant to her that Rory chose high society and her parents over her. That Rory was going to move in and basically be trained to become another Emily where she likely marries Logan and throws parties and wastes her life in luxury.

So she came home, was heartbroken, and wanted the pain to go away fast. Much in the way she ran and jumped into bed with Christopher after breaking up with Luke, she impulsively proposed to Luke just because she wanted to feel better in that moment.

You can clearly see she wasn't fully ready when she would brush off on setting a date, didn't want to go look at dresses or invitations or anything, and then finally said she couldn't do it until she fixes things with her daughter. We could say she was ready after that was all fixed, but I'll bet if April never showed up, some other obstacle would have happened or something else that would have scared Lorelei into making any kind of a big change in her life.

And look, she impulsively married Christopher afterwards because he thought maybe if they just tied the knot everything will work out, and she just wanted to cross that line thinking she will have finally succeeded in love.

I feel like throughout the whole series I have not seen one marriage in that show that was from people dating each other for several years, getting very close, and finding that being married would be ideal. Maybe it was just the writers wanting to show big storybook happy endings.

RecordCompetitive758

Love, but still terrible timing.

jaharmes

Her feelings for Luke were true, but the proposal was out of desperation.

ReadingWolf1710

I disagree. I think she loves him and that’s why she proposed but they also think she knew that Luke would take forever to make a decision. Just like he did about dating her even though he clearly had feelings for her for a long time and later on as we see, he drags his feet about actually getting married once April enters his life.

Carlymissknits

I totally agree. I refer to this episode as the manic episode

OffKira

I agree she realized how much she loved him, and how insane but loving he was towards Rory.

Asking him to marry her did feel a wee bit desperate in that moment.

However, what makes me roll my eyes a little, is that obviously it happened because it was the end of the season and they needed a hook, and ASP seems to fucking hate having characters just say "I love you".

peppa4theppl

Love. She did it wrong but for the right reason in my opinion. There is no “right” way to propose, but we waited SOOOO long for this. I just wanted so much more for them. I wanted it to be perfect and not when she was heartbroken about Rory.

szu1szu2

Yes

ElricMoon2

That look in her eyes, and you still have to ask?

bravo_holicks

In my opinion, I think Lorelai owed it to herself to wait and have Luke propose

SeaSpeakToMe

I smell snow ❄️

Out of a need for instant gratification on a shitty night. Not that she didn’t truly love him.

SalsaChica75

Emily told Lorelai “You always let your emotions get in the way Lorelai” I agree. I think this was an emotional/ decision moment for her

Tina_bambina78

I don't think it was desperation, but it wasn't exactly from love either. She felt alone and betrayed, and saw this as an opportunity of validation. That's, why she got the dog too, to replace Rory in some way...

Ameythst

Desperation

GreenEggsxHam

-5

It wasn’t really out of love. I think they were just looking for a death buddy.