What is the best comeback if someone asks: “What are you?!”
As far as the general public knows, I'm technically classified as a human.
close enough anyways
I'm a mog. Half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend.
Spaceballs!: The Reference!
Spaceballs!: The Reference Strikes Back!
Gimmie paw! Awoooo!
Spaceballs!: The Search for More References!
*And Money
Spaceballs: The Last Reference!
Spaceballs: Return Of The Reference(another merchandising opportunity)
Spaceballs the search for the reference
Spaceballs, the flamethrower. The kids love this one.
Flamethrower! The Ultimate Spaceball.
🤣🤣🤣
The best line of the whole movie!
I’m Batman
Why did I have to scroll so far down to see this?!! Oh..it's from 1989 :( ...damn I'm old
I hit 40 this year so I was 5 when that movie came out and I remember recording it off TV and being my go to with Pete's Dragon and Popeye lol. But as a kid Michael Keaton was and is the best live action Batman.
So many great films came out that decade. The Goonies also that year. My whole childhood revolved around that movie. And another great one the next year, Flight of the Navigator! What a fricking movie. Then the next year, A Princess Bride. Truly the best decade for movies. Stood the test of time all these movies.
Also Little Monsters, with Fred Savage. Watched this recently and omg, the script just would not be allowed these days. So much swearing and unPC lines. But boy, did we love it as kids just because of that fact. It was so naughty and, in fact, quite scary for a kids' movie.
Have you heard Cardi B's 2020 hit single, "WAP"?
I saw it in the theater. And if memory serves, it only cost me $1.50 to see it.
Inflation sucks, now it's TreeFiddy. Wait...now it's TwentyTreeFiddy
Michael Keaton 🤩 will always be my Batman
YOU CAN SEE ME???
Follow this up by "I'm a ghost, the only people who can usually see me are those soon to follow me through the veil.
Or, “I’m a ghost that only gay people can see.”
This is my favorite one
Me too
Used this love it
I say this to people standing outside of stores trying to sell things
Haha 😂
BAHAHAHA I'm gonna do this, low-key reminds me of John Cena too 🤣🤣
🤣🤣🤣
🤣🤣🤣 Love it!
Haha 😂
I've mastered the ability of standing so incredibly still that I become invisible to the eye...
Username checks out
'intelligent life sent to check on the monkey'
Do not say this if the person is black
100 agree wouldn't be cool
Why not? It would be racist not to treat everyone equally
Acknowledging and avoiding calling people names that have been used for hundreds of years as racially charged insults to imply racial inferiority is not racist
I'm a fucking dinosaur tf do I look like
You just reminded me of a great story.
A few years ago I went with my boyfriend to his work mentor’s retirement party. His mentor loves dinosaurs, so someone convinced my bf to wear an inflatable T-Rex costume to surprise her.
He wore the costume for the whole party, around 4 hours, and stayed in character much of the time. This lead to the surreal experience of small children asking me if I was dating a real dinosaur.
I really wish I’d been able to stop laughing long enough to take some good pictures but he was hamming it up. It was a great time though.
Did he eat with it on?
He would duck around the corner to unzip the front so he could have a quick bite or more often a shot.
A sauropod.
"I am a meat popsicle."
Smoke yewwwww
Multipass
She KNOWS it's a MULTIPASS!
Oh, please. That doesn't even sound like him! The President's an idiot, you don't sound like an idiot. If you don't wanna talk to your mother, just avoid me like usual, huh? I'll just throw myself in traffic. I'll just Saran Wrap myself to the bed and pretend my child is suffocating me...
Never too many references to this movie.
Super green
Correct answer.
'gimme the cashhhhhhh..'
Your worst nightmare
One of my 2 responses, the other being "the scariest thing I know".
Thank you, joined.
I did have a mental image of a 115Lb teenager gritting his teeth in the mirror and making poses with his new katana.
Knew I'd find this though you would probably get beat up for it
“Human. What are YOU?”
A racist! Who the fuck else asks that question lmao
I mean, you’re not wrong.
My 6 year old autistic kid asked our east European neighbour
" what are you "
N. " a lady"
K . No what are you?
N. " jana?" Getting Confused
K. NO, what ARE you??
N. " a person??!" Starting to think she's gonna shout soon.
Me. Realising what he's on about...." you need the word doing on the end of that sentence little dude.
K. What are you ....Doing? N. Oh, gardening. I'm gardening.
I'm everyone - and no one. Everywhere - nowhere. Call me...Darkman.
I am you, you are us, we are one.
I am the walrus
Ooo coo kachoob
I am the walrus
Ooo coo kachoob
I am the walrus
Ooo coo kachoob
I am the walrus
Ooo coo kachoob
*smacks the cd player*
To quote the immortal Alan Rickman: "I'm pissed off, is what I am!"
I am the night
dayman has entered the chat
If you want this boys hole you have to pay the troll toll
Get a mirror out, look in it.
Scream loudly, throw the mirror on the floor and run away
This is actually the reason I bulk order flip-open pocket mirrors
Is that a mirror in your pocket? Is that another mirror in your pocket? Hey, how many mirrors do you keep in your pockets?
I love this one
Oh God, it's 0315, and I think I just bit through my lip to not howl in laughter....
the real question is, what are you?
I always say "gay" with a straight face
I see what you did there
Easier than saying “straight“ with a gay face.
Certainly NOT three raccoons in a trenchcoat nervous glance
Your real mom/dad
NUH-UH! YOU'RE NOT! YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD! HE'S GONNA GET BACK FROM HIS SUPER SECRET MISSION TO MARS FIGHTING ALIENS AN' HE'S GUNNA KICK YOUR BUTT!
Right after he gets cigarettes and milk.
Ugly and annoyed.
“Slightly retarded” is my go to
"an idiot sandwich"
I'm a robot with just enough AI to not give a shit.
"a meat Popsicle"
Your doppelganger from another banger
An Aquarius (couple this with a big gormless grin)
The one your religious leaders/mother/operating instructions warned you about
More observant than you, clearly I am a human/marsupial/greater spotted marshland tit
I’m a Parsley and my moon is in Gatorade
if you wanna do a reference you could swap Aquarius for Virgo
Rejoice! For I Am the Way and the Light my child.
“What do you mean?” Then make them explain why they’re asking.
I’ve done that and it doesn’t always work as you’d think. They actually answered. “I know you’re not 100% white, you got to be mixed with something.” Is the usual response.
Translation: I just need to know how inferior I should treat you.
Obviously, OP has just defeated someone ostensibly much stronger than himself, using a mysterious power.
It's a natural question to ask, in such circumstances.
The only correct answer is
I’M BATMAN
I don’t know, the drs couldn’t figure it out before I escaped the compound when I was 8
I’m not
I am you from the future, and you made some really bed choices.
I'm a spy. We look like everyone else.
That was actually my excuse for just dressing in jeans and t-shirt for Halloween. I didn't have money, time or the motivation to do anything extravagant.
Confused by your question
I am Batman (Bale Batman voice).
Nobody has ever asked me, Cis white guy
A human being. If you need me to identify any other living things let me know.
Assimilation
I am CHAOS INCARNATE!!!! insert maniacal laughter here...
Shut up Butters. No one cares.
Human. What are you?
60% hydrogen dioxide
I don't know, my mother never had me tested.
AND IM SO SORRY
I CANNOT SLEEP, I CANNOT BREATHE TONOIGHT!
I NEED SOMEBODY AND ALWAYS
I’m Batman
"I'm Batman." Then pull them back from the edge of the roof, jump off, and vanish.
I’m the mother fucking lizard king.
We are Legion!
Rock hard
Using Predator voice: "What the hell are YOU"
"Genius, Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist."
Moderator removed comment
30d
Genetically superior.
In dire need of a drink. You buying?
Who wants to know?
For some reason this is ALWAYS my response into an inquiry about who I am or what I do. Like, if someone wanted to give me a certified letter, fuck that, I will prevent that. Only happened once, and I STILL don’t know what it was about, but a guy with a manila envelope asking if I am X person does not sit well. (No marriages, no criminal charges, no overdue balances). So yes, this.
Member of the Men in Black, You've got a little too self-aware of your reality so you better shut up before I boot you from the matrix.
Don't know and don't care.
i could ask u the same thing
An idiot sandwich
Underrated AF 😂
Fuck if I know
You might want to see an optometrist.
Your new stepdad if you keep pissing me off
IM BATMAN!!
"I am your father"
NNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! (lets go of antenna)
Relatively constipated thanks for asking
The center of the fucking universe you peasant.
Now worship me like the God I am.
I'm old, fat, ugly and short! So what's your excuse?
I am your father!
Why are you?
"Your Worst Nightmare."
Probably from Batman or some shit idk
Well you’re mom calls me daddy
i'm the damn paterfamilias!
Idk, I dont think Id ever feel insulted by that.
Gay Jesus, now bend over and repent
“Better than you, ya bum ass bitch”
Your dad
"Wouldn't you love to know?"
“I’m the night guard.”
some one with the correct number of chromosomes.... unlike you
Your step-dad
Your worst nightmare...
I’m your worst nightmare.
A lizard :)
Ask your mom, she got to know me quite well last night 🤾🏼🤷♀️
am i beast or am i human? am i just like you?
Human, and you?
pick them up by the neck and say “Death.”
Bad at answering personal questions
Earthling.
A flesh bag
Sick of you!!!
As soon as I figure it out, I'll let you know
Something beyond your understanding.
Happy
Turquois!
I am stardust. I am a reflection of the universe. Swirling bits of energy appearing as matter.
Moxxie: i’m a Virgo
Your conscience bitch
High probability I’m your father
I would like to know what prompted them to ask this
Why are people asking you what you are? I've never been asked what am I, and can't imagine a scenario where I would be.
A meat popsicle.
An asshole. Go away.
Double down with idiocy. Drop the bar so low they feel uncomfortable and have to spell out the insult.
I am the Eggman, you are the Eggman, I am the Walrus, Goo Goo g'joob.
I am the terror that flaps in the night.... I am the duck asked too many stupid questions. I am Darkwing Duck!
I'm that bear women prefer to be with.
I thought you knew.
looks around I am here to take the census of all the lizard people, and your name came up.
Three Kobolds in a coat, out on the town to grab a few pints.
Your mom's favorite
The bane of your existence.
Vulcan
Didn’t someone say something like this to Tony Stark?
I'm complicated.
Annoyed
A f@cking towel. Go xj yourself!
I’m pretty twice. Pretty ugly, and pretty likely to stay that way.
Dah na na na duh na na na butt man, followed by dropping into robotic unbreaking psycho stare and a long duration forceful hopfully wte fart.
Ya, know....assert dominace and stuff
Start twisting around, trying to look at your butt. "What? Oh, no! Is my tail showing?!"
Lab results came back inconclusive.