Do you know any older (50+) people who became homeless? If so, what happened and how are they coping?
I got close at 45. I was severely depressed and purposely spent all of money (literally every single dollar. Savings. Retirement. All of it) in a year with the intent on killing myself when I ran out.
I checked myself into a hospital instead and have been getting help ever since. I was placed in long term treatment.
Still don’t have much money, but I’m not dead. So that’s something
That's everything. ❤️
I wish I could say I felt the same. Still have a long way to go.
Facing life with a positive and optimistic attitude, you can feel the beauty and sunshine in life, and you can find the light of hope even in the darkest moments.
I’m glad you got help.
Dating sites have plenty of hobosexuals. Divorce, illness leading to loss of housing, death of primary wage earner, gambling problems, there are several ways to end up homeless as one ages.
As an older adult I was very surprised to learn gambling was such a destructive addiction shared by so many. It will become even more widespread and problematic with all these gambling apps available in the last couple years.
Yep. Seeing retirees sitting in casinos for hours on end is tragic. The complete destruction of family ties, no sense of community, no social connections, it’s really sad.
Which brings up another point. My mom’s caregiver has worked with many elderly folks. She says a common cause of hearing loss is casinos.
And they have dating prospects?
Some people simply cannot be alone. It’s so strange to me.
Yes they do. They date each other so they can steal each other's stuff.
My sister could be. She has been financially irresponsible her entire life. Mom subsidized her until she died. My sister had a good job but up and "retired" without any kind of savings, insisting that if she was careful, she could get by. But she's never been careful. She refuses to shop at discount stores. She insists on keeping a car she can't afford. And she feels entitled to live a middle-class life without having to pay for it. I have helped her out as have many others. But she is not grateful for the help. She will do absolutely nothing to help in her keep - no dishes, no cooking, no cleaning, and won't contribute to groceries yet makes requests for the food she wants. It gets old fast. I have given her thousands of dollars. She stayed at my house for 6 months and just refused to help out around the place although I could really have used it. She's just so selfish. I suspect a narcissist. She was at me for another go and I lost my mind. Just NO. I just couldn't deal with her irresponsibility any longer. I feel for her. She's got mental problems but has never dealt with them adequately although she's had every opportunity. She doesn't want to be better herself. She wants to be taken care of and will take advantage of you to get what she wants with no remorse. I'm not doing it again. I can't be more responsible for her than she's willing to be. I have my own problems. I can't even bring myself to ask one of her kids. I don't want to know. For my own mental health. I just can't.
I'm a teacher, and the only homeless person I know personally is a former student, in their '30s. Mental illness, as far as I can tell. I see them in my neighborhood pushing a grocery cart with what seems to be all their possessions. Sad, but it looks like they're getting by.
They were a talented student, too, The mind can be a terrible thing sometimes.
That’s heartbreaking. I don’t want a return to One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest style warehousing, but this overcorrection has led to way too many people untreated and unhoused. When I run the world there will be evidence-based compassionate long-term residential treatment for people who cannot live independently due to mental illness.
U/gloomy_fig2238 for world president!
One of my brothers. He's 60 but "became" homeless 30 or so years ago, by choice. Just opted out of the whole society thing and went to live in the woods, or on the beach or wherever. I often wonder if he isn't the only person I know who's got it all figured out.
A friend’s uncle was a successful executive who one day just snapped and didn’t return to his home and family in the suburbs. His wife and children traced his route to /from his office. He was found several days later in an alleyway downtown still in his now dirty business suit, but didn’t want to go home. He was deemed sane, so he couldn’t be forcefully put under his family’s care. The best they could do was make regular donations to a nearby church to make sure he was fed and provide shelter during bad weather.
That takes a lot of courage.
Just opted out of the whole society thing and went to live in the woods, or on the beach or wherever.
when I was younger I would fantasise about doing something similar, only my idea was to throw on a backpack and just start walking down the railroad tracks and see where I ended up.
The guy up the holler who we call Toothless Tim. He clearly has made a great many poor decisions in his past which has alienated most of his siblings. He mooched off his mom while doing odd jobs and selling controlled substances on the side. When Mom died of old age the family decided to boot him out so they could sell the place. He did not go so they turned off the power, internet and changed the locks. He shacked up in the storage shed, getting water from the creek and pooping in bags. When the realtor came to show the house he went out of his way to scotch the deal. They put stout locks on the shed and took him to court. He cut the locks. Now the place is going to auction because the judge was fed up with the multiple court appearances. He applied for disability and got it and would be eligible for housing assistance and other aid but that would involve moving over the mountain to town so now he found another guy to mooch off of. He's a friendly guy and has some skills but employment requires following other people's instructions and keeping to their schedule.
At 57 I began having symptoms from an undiagnosed brain tumor and became homeless. After about a year it was discovered and removed via a craniotomy. I rehabilitated with my son for about 6 months and then went back to work. Currently housed and employed full time at 64. Crazy times!
I’m glad that you’re doing better, and thank goodness for your son.
I'm older than fifty. It came very close to being homeless. When life shits on you, it can be bad.
My whole life, I had been financially stable with always enough to pay the bills. I also had ample disposable income.
To keep it short, I got divorced. I had covid three times and wasn't able to do my job. I became unemployed. I also had an extremely serious depression and bi polar diagnosis.
It was shocking to me how fast I found myself in such a precarious situation.
No one is immune. It could happen to anyone
I hope things are better for you now
Thank you ! Things are much better
Stay positive and optimistic, and you can make your life shine again
Thank you ! I've worked very hard, and i am making substantial progress
Awesome, glad to hear that.
Where I used to live, it happened with great frequency since the area was known to have many 55+ communities. Used to be a retirement haven predominantly. Many people, especially women, are on limited incomes. They cant afford the rent increases and increasing cost of utilities and food and get evicted. Many are too proud to seek help and just hold on in denial. Also they value their independence and are afraid of losing that. There's a stereotype that homeless people are either mentally ill or choose to be homeless, and decide to opt out. These are people that often did the right things in their younger years, were mainstream, middle class. Bad things like homelessness don't happen to people like them. Homeless is something that happens to losers, bad people, crazy people, people on drugs.
I know a couple of people. One woman, she was 70, lived near me, couldn't pay her rent, got evicted and did nothing till the sheriff's office escorted her from her house. Last I heard she was living in an encampment behind the hardware store. But it's just hearsay. I didn't really know her but I think she had the start of dementia.
Another woman now 62 was homeless for about 8 years and finally got section 8 housing. She just said everything fell apart. She lost a good job with a big company, spiraled downward and ended up sleeping where ever she could find a place for about 6 years until she got assistance.
A third woman, is 67 and disabled, has moved from place to place for about the past 10 years and rented rooms from people after she lost her job and her apartment. Shes not technically homeless. She's had a few bad experiences where the people shes rented from were abusive. She's put up with some awful conditions. Even living in someone's backyard shed. Over the past 5 years she's lost most her stuff and is down to just bare necessities now. She seems to be in a good place now with an older couple, but the insecurity of it coming abruptly to an end at any time. One place she lived, she was there four months and the woman passed from a heart attack and the kids wanted her out immediately.
I would live in a group house with roommates like I did in grad school to keep a roof over my head. We all don’t need a house to ourselves if we cannot afford it.
I have a friend that’s currently homeless. Life kicked them in the ass one too many times.
They’re in a shelter receiving counseling and trying to put it all back together.
An old high school friend went missing at 52 and was described in the news article as a "transient." In another article, it was revealed that he had been living in a tent behind a taco restaurant. He was eventually located but I've been unable to find additional information. Some of our mutual friends say he may have become an addict.
It's a shame. He has degrees from prestigious universities and even did post-grad work at the Sorbonne. I wish I knew happened and how to help him, but I have no idea where he is.
However, he gave me perspective. Whatever my problems, I at least have a house.
Getting too close for comfort here. I haven’t had a job in a while, and I don’t get my first Social Security payment til next month. We’re a month behind on bills, three months on rent (which, thankfully, is income based and relatively low), and we’ve already had our electric cut off once. It has me sinking into a depression spiral that I can’t get out of.
Just throwing this out there,,, I’m a church secretary and we have a ‘good Samaritan’ fund set up. People call with needs like yours and we can send a small amount to the landlord or utility company. Many churches have this type of fund. Call around, even if they’re only offering $25-50, it’s something, and calls to multiple churches will avail multiple payments.
We tried reaching out to several area churches when we had our electric shut off. Every single one shut us down completely. My youngest child's LGBTQ+ friends all got together and helped us get it back on.
Thanks for the suggestion and I'm glad your church is willing to help people!
I hope things get better for you and yours !!
Thank you. <3
My crazy sister. She is a human wrecking ball and became homeless after ruining my parents lives and blowing thru 300,000 dollars in three years. Now she asks me for money that’s a big nope
Traveling the world, expensive purses, shoes, Rolling Stones, all material crap. Just like she blew thru my parents money
Not homeless yet, but my sister will likely be in a few years or less.
She's never kept a full time job longer than 3 years her entire adult life. But somehow has worked enough to get a potential social security payment of about $500 a month when she hits 62.
Never married and no kids. I'm her only close relative. Since our parents died 20 years ago she has went from renting cheap apartments to living with friends and relatives to sleeping in her car for a few weeks at a time.
She has no physical or mental issues but just never cared much for saving and planning for any sort of retirement. She recently told me her plan for housing when she turns 62 is to apply for senior housing and food assistance.
Actually, the number of homeless people around that age is predicted to triple in the very near future. Retirement and SS doesn’t pay enough, and many people are caught off guard with how much it costs to age. It’s actually really terrifying to think about, and way more common than it used to be.
https://www.aarp.org/home-family/your-home/info-2022/americas-homeless-over-50.html
Yes. He is an alcoholic and I guess probably an addict. Last we knew, he was living in a van, but he abandoned that. If we knew where he was, there is at least one of his kids who would be willing to help. (He has alienated everybody else.) We have no idea if he is still alive or how he is coping.
I also know an alcoholic on bad shape, absolutely would be homeless but in assisted living paid for by their family instead after nearly drinking themselves to death.
Terrible addiction, one of the worst.
Our small community has an almost 80-year old lady who is homeless. She's a hoarder who can't maintain housing. Right now, she's living out of a shopping cart in the park. She's had offers of help, but refuses. I hope when it gets colder she lets someone help her thru the winter.
I don't think I currently know anyone my age who is homeless. I do have a couple friends who were homeless at one point or another, for the same reasons many people become homeless (alcoholism, drug addiction, mental illness). Fortunately they were able to get help and are doing better now.
Yes. My distant cousin (we’re not close at all. Spoke to her maybe 3x in my life). Where do I start. She got married and stopped working in her 30s. After she turned 60, her parents died and then her husband died unexpectedly of a heart attack. She found out later than her husband used her inheritance to keep up bills because he had zero savings. She didn’t have enough credits for social security and is in poor health. She is now 70, and last I heard she was living in a garage. No idea what she does for money.
Keep track of your finances folks. Get your social security credits. Don’t depend on your spouse to be responsible. Be paranoid.
I almost was in my early 50's. A divorce and meth almost put me on the street. Family helped me get back on my feet with their support.
That would be me. If it weren't for the kindness of friends, I'd be living in my van.
As for how it happened, it's just a perfect storm of things starting with it having really bad ADHD that was never treated until I was 50. A divorce in 2006. Death, cancer, COVID, elder abuse, drug addict brothers, menopause affects on ADHD, side effects from prescription drugs for blood pressure but I didn't realize were messing with me and giving me serious fatigue. Suicidal thoughts side effects from other prescription drugs, you name it.
I've never been an addict. I barely drank and I don't do drugs. And I have a master's degree.
My van has 227,000 mi on it, and I'm going to need a new one sooner rather than later. I have terrible credit and no money in the bank. And still I feel I'm lucky. I wasn't the one who had cancer, I don't have any major medical problems. Just neurological ones. I have three great kids that I have a good relationship with. Obviously I have great friends that I love.
As to how I'm handling it, not very well. It's embarrassing and it doesn't make me feel great. I have a writing career that was going really well for a long time. Now it's not, so I'm about to start applying for jobs again. Not that easy to get a job at 58. Why do you ask?
I worked with homeless people a few summers back. I have come to the realization that 99% of the homeless people have mental health issues. 1% and these were older people, had fallen on really hard times. One person I met had been a successful businessman. His wife ran off with his business partner and all of the money. One was a man whose wife and kids had been killed by a drunk driver. Another one had his house burn down and was underinsured. All three of these men got help and back on their feet after a few months.
My former MIL was a social worker with CPS for 25+ years. And a hoarder with a filthy house full of fleas. In her early 50s, when her sons grew up, she abandoned her house to live by the Grand Canyon. For a few years she actually pulled it off by waitressing at Denny’s and living in a ratty trailer in Tusayan. Things fell apart though. She stayed with us for a while and I remember putting her on a bus so she could go live with wolves at a sanctuary. Turned out the wolves were too noisy.
At another point she was living in her truck with two cats and she wound up back with us. I connected her with homeless services and helped her find a job at Ikea. The homeless agency had steps to independence and after a couple of years she wasn’t eligible any more. “I should have stayed out West and died” was her reaction.
I can’t recall how, but she found HUD housing in a small town and actually liked it, had a routine with her neighbors who also took the bus. Died in her sleep six years ago at age 75.
I’ve met some pretty kooky social workers. This does not surprise me.
I'm older but I also worked in a homeless shelter so I've seen a lot of people become homeless later in life. A few examples; one woman had an executive position at Boeing when she was laid off in her late 40's and used every cent of her savings paying rent for an expensive condo and holding out for a job of equal pay. One man lost his wife and daughter to a fire and then just gave everything away and started walking. One man had a stroke and his wife just gave up and dropped him off at the shelter. One woman in her 80's was dropped off by her children because they wanted her house. One man in his 60's decided to transition into being a woman and his entire family disowned him.
The stories just go on and on and I think of these people every time someone demands the arrest of homeless people and every time homeless camps are destroyed.
There was an elderly lady living under the local over pass for a good few months, I haven't seen her recently, not sure what happened to her.
She had been showering and taking care of herself at some friends home nearby.
Knew a man who spiralled down after a divorce. Used up his spouse's kindness, then his friends one at a time. He had to move back with his mother. I wonder how long she can deal with him, but I think she can't leave her home or force him out.
She's unable to evict him?
She's much too frail to do it herself. I doubt she has any spare funds to pay someone else. But this is just my speculation. It's been years since I heard from this guy.
I do. He lived between storage units, in a server cave and peoples couches in NYC. He was gainfully employed in IT. He would spend a few weeks a year at my house. He got pancreatic cancer and 8 mo after his diagnosis, last year at 56. Usually this time of year he's be up here, working remotely, commandeering the grill and fireworks shopping.
Have one visiting right now. Lives in his car. His preference as is holding out for his ideal location.
I do. One lost her job and then home after she got cancer and could not work. Another broke up with his long term girlfriend and ended up in his van doing work camper stuff at National Parks.
A lifelong family friend eventually became homeless due to extreme alcoholism. He was a successful business person for most of his life, drove luxury cars, was elected the mayor of his town, and owned a small business. His wife divorced him because he couldn't stop drinking. He reportedly ended up living on the streets in two different large cities in two different states. Finally lost track of him, but he would be deceased by now due to age.
Long story.
This almost happened to a woman in my co-op, and she would have been homeless if people hadn't been willing to at least try to work with her. She was a 70+ year-old shareholder (apartment owner) who stopped paying her maintenance. This went on for a few months, and we had our managing agent reach out. Like, what was going on? It was during the pandemic, like mid 2021, and we're a small building, so let's figure this out. We didn't want to evict this woman, but, we have a responsibility to keep the building's finances in order, so we have to reach some kind of agreement.
The woman told us first, "Oh, I can't figure out the new payment system, but I think I have it figured out. So sorry, I'll pay everything this month." Okay, so we waiting and nothing. Then it was, "Oh, I have a check, it's in the mail." Nothing. Then, "Oh, you can pick up the check," but our managing agent said that she wasn't answering the door.
While we were more than willing to work with her to see if there was a way that she could at least pay SOME of the maintenance and maybe gradually make up what she owed, she was consistently lying and giving us the runaround. So, we had no choice but to up the ante and get the lawyers involved and file a notice that she had 30 days to reach an agreement or we were going to have to evict her. Nothing. So we moved forward with the process.
Then she got sick and was hospitalized. Okay, again, we don't want this woman to lose her home, but please, can someone reach out and talk to us? At this point we're going on over a year with no common charges paid. She owes over $15,000. Her sister gets involved and moves into the apartment.
The sister decides that the apartment needs to be sold, and she sorta starts that process then the shareholder dies. Okay. Everything stops until the will/estate is settled. The will named the sister as the heir, so she inherited the apartment shares and wants to live there. Which...fine. Pay the back maintenance, and show us--going forward--that you can continue to pay the maintenance owed on the apartment.
The sister could not do that. So, okay, sell the shares, pay us what you owe (we'll waive the penalties.) The sister starts the sale process again, but slowly, and it's clear that she doesn't really want to go. At this point, it's been another six to eight months. Luckily, an LGBTQ charity gets involved. They will pay the back maintenance, assist the sister with the sale, and then help her find an affordable apartment to live it. Yay!
Again, both sides are being very patient to try and do it on the sister's timeline, but really, the sister was taking advantage of that. Luckily, the lawyer with the charity was like, "Um, no, you need to sell this apartment. Let's go!" found a realtor, and got the place on the market. It sold quickly, but, once again, the sister was dragging her feet about moving out. I'm pretty sure that the charity had to literally escort her out before the closing. We ended up billing the charity for the cost of cleaning out the apartment (the sister had abandoned a TON of stuff in the apartment.) And finally, earlier this year, the sale went through. The sister got an affordable apartment somewhere in the area, and has enough money from the apartment sale (minus the back maintenance) to pay the rent for many, many years.
It's not at all unusual in Southern California. I know two that are over 50.
My ex boyfriend's mom is one step away from homeless. She's 51 and just got out of a year long rehab program. She has an apartment but has no tangible assets nor even a car. She works but makes around 40k a year. She was an alcoholic who blamed everyone else for her problems. She's clean now but doesn't have anything
I knew a few. Most were people who were one step towards being homeless for a variety of reasons: never got their shit together, always blaming other people for their problems, and a few cases where their parents were so fucking toxic that it was one of the major factors. A few because of divorce where they needed someone else to survive and the other either had a second choice (like moving back home) or they became homeless as well. The biggest is medical issues; some it's a spiraling cases of "for the want of a nail" where they can't afford something vital for their condition, like insulin, so they get more conditions, which makes them unemployable, so they lose their house, can't get a car, and... that's it. It's over. They starve to death, take their own life, or simply vanish.
On the flip side, and the bright side, I knew someone who was homeless most of his life from age 18 to his 50's. Finally he started having health issues and this caused him to seek help and stay in an apartment (with assistance) for about 5-7 years now. He has said it's rougher & rougher the older you are, to live on the streets.
I know many
It’s exactly what you’d think-
Their parents died and no one reminded them to take their meds
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