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AITA for telling my boyfriend that he’s not as tough as he thinks he is?
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17d
100%
Dude has that "I need to keep this lie going to myself at any cost" energy. That person is dangerous due to how low their self esteem really is.
Little big man syndrome we call it.
5'8" is not a large man by any stretch, I'm 5'9" and muscular but I have friends 6' and over that make me look like a child beside them.
Couple that with the fact that one never knows the mentality of another when confronted or if they are carrying and he's just asking for trouble eventually. I'm curious if he's the type to pick fights in bars over small issues, these kinds tend to in my experience.
Little man, Napoleon complex, all the other names. He’s itching for a fight and he will lose. My father carried a gun in his car. Fortunately, he never used it. We didn’t know until I cleaned out his car, after he died. So, small man may run into that.
Yeah, even if he was a big tall obviously muscular and intimidating guy if someone shoots him over road rage, which unfortunately has happened several times in the US, then that won't be worth a dime. Even worse is it could hit a passenger like that horrible story of a 5-year old dying that way.
Has this idiot ever heard of weapons? Guns, knives, baseball bats, tire irons, etc? He messes with somebody as much of an ass as himself, he will end up a mess in a hospital. Or morgue.
Exactly what I was thinking. Doesn't matter how big you are and how small the other guy is if the other guy is a psycho with a gun. Muscles aren't bulletproof.
Three to the chest. They brush it off in the movies. How much can that hurt?
Reminds me of that survey where some knuckleheads thought they could beat a silverback ape in a fist fight. The Dunning-Kruger effect in action.
But seriously, how hard could it be to beat up the silverback ape? I feel like I could do it.
Let's imagine this in our high enter the cage and the silver back looks at me. I poop my pants. The Silverback will then charge at me, and I will probably freeze. The Ape will probably swap me like a fly, and all the bones in my body will break, and I will go flying. The Silverback will then rip all my lines off while I am crying to my mommy. See, no problem.
Something like 6% of Americans think they can take a black bear in a fight.
I don't even think I can out run one 😂
You just need to run faster than the slowest guy.
That's why you carry a gun when you go out in bear country with your buddies. You don't need it to shoot the bear, just one of the buddies in the leg.
They have a top speed of like 30mph. Usain Bolt hit almost 28mph at his max, and that was on a track in favorable conditions. Regular guy like me stands no chance.
Same, even back when I was healthy and did sports.
What is wrong with people? We didn't survive predators because we would win them in a stand alone outright fight without tools/weapons or group strategy.
They don’t understand what made us apex predators in the Paleolithic era. I don’t know if watching people on social media perform impressive feats of strength makes them think that puts us on par with other animals, but they are out of their minds.
THIS! My Uncle was normally a sane and calm person but he'd get into road rage now and again. He luckily wasn't shot but finally started honking and vrooming at the wrong person and they both ended up with broken cars. They were both lucky they didn't kill each other. Funnily enough neither was seriously hurt but my Uncle had to take the bus for some time because he couldn't afford another one.
The "psycho" here is the boyfriend! He's following people to threaten them!
Exactly. Even if he was as tough as he thinks he is, why would anyone want to be with someone who uses that toughness to intimidate and harass people just because they cut in front of him or didn’t use their blinker or something? Total psycho, and there’s no way that attitude doesn’t seep into other aspects of his life too. OP needs to run for the hills.
Doesn't even have to be a psycho. What if it's another smaller guy who is in genuine fear of his life?
Morgue more like it. Road rage in the south gets you shot, not punched. I’ve had a gun at me and I didn’t even do anything wrong, just wasn’t speeding enough for him
The south in particular, but it's a risk everywhere. 18 year old girl was shot for cutting a guy off while she was trying to merge onto a highway in Pennsylvania. She had recently graduated highschool
In LA, a man shot at a driver that flipped him off and his bullet ended up killing a kindergartner in the backseat
18 year old girl was shot for cutting a guy off while she was trying to merge onto a highway in Pennsylvania. She had recently graduated highschool.
Bianca Roberson. I pass her memorial at least three times a week.
God that’s tragic
In my state in the south you can carry without a permit. And you don’t have to register weapons. I just assume everyone has a gun on them.
Pretty sure I know what state. I’m in the same one. I have a carry permit and think it is the dumbest thing ever passed to allow carry without a permit.
Same. That and I can buy a gun at a yard sale and no one knows I have it. The seller will likely want a bill of sale, but that’s it.
Sounds like we might be in the same state lol. I operate on the same policy, it’s just safer
Heck, you don't even need that. A college acquaintence was driving with his fiancee (the driver), some road rage lady accosted them/her, he tried to calm things down and the lady ran him over and killed him
That's the first thing I thought of. Homeboy steps to me in traffic he's getting a face full of bear spray and then an angry 90# akita. And that's just being polite before the firearms come out.
Everything you just said, except I’d leave the kids out of it. Knowing my luck my dog would bite an asshole, and the pigs would say my dog has to be put down, and I’d have to Thelma and Louise it outa there.
And the person would probably be justified because they could argue that they felt in fear of their life since some maniac followed them home.
Ding ding ding. I keep a baseball bat in my car because of guys like this one. I had some nutjob bang on my drivers side window and scream at me and now It lives in my passenger seat for when I need it.
The other car doesn't even need a weapon; a collision from another road rage driver will not care about how big and strong he is.
I'm worried she's more concerned about this asshole than the people he's terrifying. How many people that he chased down had kids in the backseat? How many times did he come close to causing accidents that could seriously injure or kill other people because he can't control his rage? Hell, how long until she does something that upsets him enough that he let's his rage out on her?
Also:
He never does this with me in the car and generally doesn’t have any other anger issues
This needs to be followed up by the world's largest YET. This isn't yelling a curse word because you stubbed your toe or hit your head. This is seriously dangerous behavior. There's no way this doesn't escalate over time.
If I had to guess, he might not be doing any of this shit. He's probably just telling tough guy stories to seem tough. I've heard a lot of bullshit tough guy stories in my time, and this screams bullshit tough guy story.
Mainly because if he actually was doing this and his rage was that bad, he WOULD have done it with her in the car.
Also him trying MMA and getting his ass whooped.....yeaaaaahhh this guy screams insecurity.
And you know he can control his rage because he doesn't do it in front of her. Same way abusers conveniently never "lose control" in front of their boss
And you hit the mark, maybe one day he'll be comfortable enough or careless enough to let that anger out in front of her or on her
The only reason he hasn’t done it to her yet is because he doesn’t have her “locked down” to where he thinks she won’t/can’t leave him yet. The moment he does, he’ll start on her
She is warning him about messing with, “the wrong person” when he is, “the wrong person” other people are worrying about. This is not a good guy.
You're right. OP is talking about the danger of a possible confrontation without even considering the more imminent danger of a serious car accident.
He’s a danger to others and himself. NTA
Look, I get road rage. I mean I was a ball of anger sometimes at that age. I kept it to cussing within the car. Unlikely that people outside can hear.
I'm from New york. My horn and my middle finger are interchangeable, and likely to be used in tandem. That said, I'm a cautious and polite driver. But don't fuck with me. And I've never in my life been dumb enough to try to follow someone who pisses me off on the road. What if they have a shotgun in their backseat? Jesus christ.
If he's already this aggressive, CTE is just gonna make him worse. He is legitimately dangerous.
not to mention the fact that one of these days, OP could be with him and get caught in the altercation when it inevitably comes.
Guys like this in their twenties (or any other age really) are absolutely fucking hilarious for all the wrong reasons.
Yeah. A gazillion BJJ classes makes you a very, probably extremely, formidable opponent in hand to hand combat.
But you could still get fuckin killed on the streets by somebody who in fair circumstances couldn't even touch you lol
THIS - not only NTA, AND get the hell out of that relationship
even if he doesn't get physical or abusive with you or around you, he's a goddam menace
He could end up dead, or brain damaged, or with a colostomy bag depending on someone's aim
He is going to be the archetect of his own destruction, and you don't want to be around for that.
He's gonna get shot pulling that shit
Don't fuck with the general public, you never know who's crazier, meaner, and better armed than you are.
A douchey ticking time bomb, too.
You lose every time to a gun. Pull that in the wrong place and you could end up dead.
Yeah the funny thing is most of the competent MMA/BJJ guys do everything they can to avoid a tussle on the streets.
I'm no tough guy but competent enough to handle myself. No issues walking away if someone is calling me a pussy. I have a job and family to look after, I get all my frustrations out in the gym.
lmao, aint that the truth
NTA - Get out of this relationship. You're getting a preview.
Please. His insecurity and chihuahua machismo is 100% present in every aspect of his life. This isn't an isolated thing.
But ESH his fighting prowess has absolutely nothing to do with how dangerous it is to follow people when you have road rage. I'm guessing that means he's tailgating and wesving in traffic- great way to take othe people put when you die due to your reckless driving. Great way to get shot. Great way to ha e someone stop and pull a baseball bat out of their trunk and start smashing up your car. ...should I go on?
His size and ability to fight would be relevant if he was going around picking fights in bars. But he's not. He's driving a giant metal death trap and it makes him feel invincible. And apparently y'all are both dumb enough to forget that many people don't go straight to proving their toughness when someone is possibly trying to kill them with their car.
"chihuahua machismo" is great.
Perfect description.
Right? Totally using that.
stealin' it
Band name.
I have 4 chihuahuas. None of them are as bad as this guy!!! Now I need to go soothe their poor broken little egos!!! Lol. Seriously, I get what you are saying and my little ankle biting, yapping pups are not as puffed up with self importance and hot air as this dude.
My chihuahua is waaaay tougher than this guy 😆
His fighting prowess is relevant if he’s following other cars because he thinks no one will ever step up to him. He needed to be reminded that he’d lose.
Wait but how is this ESH? Dude is a red flag incarnate but OP seems like a future victim, not a douche.
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17d
She should let him keep going but take out a huge life insurance policy and encourage his behavior.
I really hate that this is a really good idea.
It’s a terrible idea. Effective, yes. Profitable, yes. But terrible. 😂
No. His road rage stories sound like fantasies (that's why he's never done it with OP in the car, because he never does it at all), but he's definitely a very angry person. He's going to hurt OP long before he really goes after some rando.
OP, isn't asking the right questions. She should be wondering how far this man will go to prove how "tough" he is. She should be asking what keeps him from hurting the people who don't think he is tough, who don't submit to his displays of aggression? She should ask herself why he has road rage and is an MMA fighter Seriously, this guy wants power over others. And before people come at me, no MMA doesn't mean you are a crazy, violent person, but it sure seems to be a thing that appeals to this particular crazy, violent person. OP, your boyfriend told you who he is, are you going to listen?
To be honest, I would be less concerned if he was a real MMA fighter. Almost all forms of professional fighting come with a lot of work and lessons on control. Being very careful with your actions and a ton of self-control. This guy has lost every fight he has been in. It gives me the sense that he does not take his training seriously.
True that, I'd be more scared of this guy's behavior who lost a few mma matches and thinks he's the shit than a guy who actually trains multiple times a week and has won a match
I think you are asking the right questions
YES! I wish I could up-vote a million times!
I'm so glad you've never been in the vehicle when he's done that. I can't even begin to describe how terrifying and embarrassing it is to be stuck in a car with someone like that.
My ex-boyfriend and I were stuck in traffic in a big city at a roundabout. We were anxious and just wanted to get to where we were going. A car was about to cut him off or whatever, and he started yelling, throwing a fit, and kept honking the horn at the other driver. He gave the other driver in the car this long, menacing death glare and leaned into the stare if that made sense. He wouldn't stop. I begged him to stop and just relax, and he yelled at me and told me to shut the f**k up as he continued to stare down the other guy while yelling at him to do something, as if he could hear him. I looked at the other guy and tried to convey a look of apology before putting my head in my hands as a way of signaling to the other driver that I was in distress and that I didn't want it to escalate any further.
Thankfully, it didn't, and I'm not sure if it was because of my nonverbal displays of apology and distress or not.
However, it's almost always on female passengers to engage in these types of displays to deescalate the situation before it gets worse. It's like signaling to the other driver that you know the person you're with is a complete asshole and that you're often a victim of that same anger, and to please not make it worse for you because you're already terrified.
Like you, I pointed out to him what would have happened if the other driver got out of his vehicle to confront him. Like you, I pointed out that he's not invincible and not as bad as he thinks he is. He said he doesn't need to be able to fight when he can just take out his pistol and drop anyone who steps up to him..... He was that type of man. Acted tough as a bowl of nails without any milk and had no problem provoking a situation he had no intention of backing up without the use of a firearm.
He hasn't raged out with you in the car because you've probably just been lucky enough not to be in the car during an incident. There will most likely come a time where you will be in the car with him and get an entirely new perspective of the man you have as a boyfriend. I hope not, but it's almost inevitable.
You don't want to wait until you're in that type of situation before dipping the f**k out of that relationship. Trust me.
I feel for you, I've seen women in a car with men like that, when they're screaming and raging, and really felt for them from the scared look in their eyes because it's clear that they've been the recipient of these rages - or even got the shitty end of the men's impotent rage after or during the rest of their drive.
Acted as tough as a bowl of nails without any milk
Well, we know he won’t be invited into The Salty Spitoon anytime soon.
Fr. Only fighting knowledge that man had was from anime fights ☠️
Forget fights. This dude is going to get shot.
And if he ever pulls this shit with op in the passenger seat, she might end up taking the bullet
Or her kid if she’s stupid enough to procreate with him
Theres more chance he assault someone like her too...
NTA. I'm a large, unassuming man and I had a guy road rage at me and ran up to my door, thinking he was a tough guy. He was met with a handgun in his face. I have never seen someone do a complete 180 both physically and emotionally in my life. The look on his face was "Holy fuck, he's got a gun"
“Everybody has a plan until they get hit. Then, like a rat, they stop in fear and freeze.”
Mike Tyson
I imagine it went something like this?
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17d
Yeah, I mean that would work on me 😂
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17d
It probably wouldn't work on me, as I'd be frozen in fear and probably mid-shit. But then again, I wouldn't have road raged in the first place lol
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17d
. I have seen videos of terrible, terrible accidents due to road rage.
Yes. Many people have died from these accidents because people couldn't control their emotions (rather, their actions driven solely by emotions).
But he CAN control his emotions...sometimes (because he doesn't do this when she's in the car). Is he just trying to sound like Mr. Tough Guy? Either way, dude is 27....it's pretty pathetic.
Is he just trying to sound like Mr. Tough Guy?
Interesting question. When my stepson was still living at home in his early 20s, I let his girlfriend move in for about a year. He wasn't always the model of perfect behavior, but when she was living there, he had rage fits towards me over very minor issues. I think he was trying to prove something in front of her.
I actually wonder if he even really does these things. He doesn't do it when anyone else I around. But talks big about doing it alone. He's trying to look tough and coming off as stupid.
NTA, and this guy is going to get himself into trouble. I've known his like this, they have such fragile masculinity that they make shit up to make themselves sound tough. I once worked with a guy who had pipe cleaners for arms and legs and who lived on my side of town, and one morning, I found myself driving a couple of cars behind him in the way into work. I thought nothing of it, until we got to work, when he started telling everyone how some guy on the main road into the city centre had tried brake checking him and he'd had to get out in a queue of traffic to "sort him out, if you know what I mean".
I asked when this had happened, and he told me a rough location on that road. I looked confused and said "but I was two cars behind you all the way down there from X Road, all the way into the centre. I didn't see any of this"
Guy went SO FUCKING RED and started mumbling about it maybe being before he got onto the main road, or something. That was the last time he bragged about a road rage confrontation (though there were plenty of "I was out drinking on Saturday night and these lads came up to me..." etc).
Seriously OP, just let him go. How long do you think it will take for this insecurity and toxicity to leak into your relationship with him? Look how he's reacted to being called on it now. He's not OK.
NTA. You obliquely mention it ("...other obvious dangers of road ranging in the USA") but it doesn't matter if he's Mike Tyson combined with Muhammad Ali: all the fighting skill in the world won't stop a bullet, and lots of people in the US are carrying, and with the general decline of politeness post-COVID, a lot of people who are carrying are more likely to shoot someone who seems threatening.
Starting a fight as an adult is a really stupid move. Nothing good will come of this.
If your boyfriend breaks up with you over this, let him go. You can do better. He's going to either get the crap kicked out of him or get shot one of these days. Someone will step up to him, and he won't like the result.
He could be Bruce Lee, but that isn't gonna stop a big fella with a machete or shotgun. You never know what someone's gonna have. Ocular patdown isn't gonna do shit
NTA. I don't understand the appeal of being in a relationship with this man from what you've described.
NTA. You are just trying to keep the little guy safe.
Also, depending on where you live, I don't care if your BF is 6'8" and 350 # of solid muscle......a bullet is an amazing equalizer. There are other crazies out there.
You should also be worried about other people. Over 40,000 people are killed by car drivers every year in America. Operating a vehicle is a heavy responsibility. When he rages, he is not operating the vehicle in a responsible manner and is not only putting himself at risk, but other innocent road users as well.
You're nta but he certainly is. The roads are no place for his macho crap.
NTA. Your BF is a tool lol he's the type of guy that people laugh at cause he thinks he's "alpha"
He sounds like an immature, insecure moron. Hit the abort button
NTA but i'd recommend getting out now because there's no way in heck he's going to internalize anything you said to him. he thinks you're dead wrong so he's punishing you by ghosting until he arbitrarily decides to come back. you're not going to be the one to fix his rage issues and it's only a matter of time before he decides that you're an acceptable target.
NTA
I’ve lived in places where that could get you shot (New Mexico/Texas border area, Tennessee). Doesn’t matter how “tough” you are, bullets are tougher. He’s playing with fire.
NTA
Road rage is never worth it. The biggest asshole on the road can potentially kill lots of people due to their stupidity. Assuming that nobody actually gets out and fights him, what happens when the other guy decides to act like an asshat in order to retaliate against him and ends up killing a family? There is no benefit from road rage, and there is a ton of risk.
Just tell him to leave you out of his whole road rage bullshit. Don't do it while you are in the car, and never mention it to you again.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
- I told him that other people don’t think he looks as tough as he thinks he does after he had another road rage episode and 2. mentioning his MMA losses might’ve been a low blow and he ran out and refuses to get in touch with me.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA
There are plenty of news stories out there where people like him end up in situations that have absolutely horrible results. I don't care how big you are or how tough you are, there's always someone bigger and tougher.
Even if there isn't someone bigger and tougher, someone who's 5'6" and 120 pounds soaking wet could be armed. A Glock beats a black belt, every time.
Hate to embody a reddit stereotype, but please leave this guy. He is putting others' lives in danger it's only a matter of time before he turns that anger on you.
I hope this isn't happening in United States, because guns.
Road rage is hard to turn off once it gets going. I hope he can get his anger issues sorted out. It seems like his vehicle gives him a false sense of security such that he feels safe expressing his anger from inside it.
You touched a nerve. Maybe that will trigger him to further evaluate his feelings about why that was so hard for him to hear and why he gets road rage in the first place.
None of this is your fault. This is a him problem, not a you problem.
I think you're NTA you're just looking out for him. But that being said maybe you could've said it in a nicer way it's really crushing to men's egos especially your BF if you tell them something like that. I'm sure he feels protective of you and saying that you don't believe in his abilities could make him feel diminished. Also I think bringing up his losses was maybe a low blow, at least he tried doing something he loved and even though he failed you should be proud of him for having the courage to try. In the end NTA but I think you probably got carried away with frustration and said some hurtful things.
NTA. If he does this is Texas a few times he will get shot. Not maybe but he will get shot. I’ve seen it more than once.
NTA - rage issues are like potato chips you don’t have just one.
Your boyfriend is fragile as f*ck and everyone would respect him more as a man if he stopped trying to act like some big tough guy when he obviously isn't. NTA.
It's not getting beat he really needs to worry about, it's being shot. Either he is choosing to behave like an ass, in which case he's too stupid to date, or he has serious self control issues and he's too much of a liability to date. Either way jump ship.
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17d
NTA
He blew up at me for bringing up his MMA losses and said “so that’s what you really think of me” and left.
You wounded him worse than anyone ever could. This says a lot about him as a man. First, that he's a shitty fighter. Second, that he knows it. Third, he's a baby about it. Fourth, that he compensates for it by being an asshole driver.
NTA - please end this relationship. Someone who can't control their anger to the point of "rage" is dangerous - especially to their domestic partner. Doesn't matter if he only does it in the car/truck - the fact is he "can't control his emotions." He has no ability to regulate his own emotions and is willing to "risk the safety of himself and others."
You can lie to yourself - but you are putting yourself and your future at risk with this man. PLEASE DUMP HIM for your own safety.
PS. why would you be with someone who acts so stupid and reckless - that he does these things and then talks about it? He sounds so immature.
NTA I had a guy cut me off very dangerously. When I honked, what I thought was a normal response, he came to a complete stop (blocking the freeway on ramp), leaned out his window and shot at me. For honking after he nearly killed me.
THE FUCK??
NTA. Acting like that isn't attractive; it's puzzling why some guys think it makes them look tough or cool. My brother does this and it drives me crazy to the point I avoid going anywhere with him. I don’t think that’s the real issue. I think the bigger issue is his inability to see your perspective. He doesn't seem to realize that you're worried about him and care about his well-being. These things seldom change, OP, and behaviors like this are always accompanied by other negative traits. You need to think about whether you want to be with someone like this. You’re too young to stick with stuff you don’t like.
Nta. He has little man syndrome and it will eventually get him hurt. I hope you’re not also hurt because of it.
Not your fault. Let him go. He sounds embarrassing to be with. Plus, his habits and reactions will be extremely bad examples of how to act if you guys ever had kids.
NTA. You should tell your boyfriend the rest of us drivers don't think he's tough and don't feel intimated. We laugh about what a tiny peen he must have and pray to the road gods for a convenient cop to teach him a well deserved lesson.
LOL, this is ridiculous. No, your bf is ridiculous.
INFO - Let's say he does catch up to the person who cut him off. What does he intend on doing? Sounds like, no matter what, he wants to escalate the situation.
Is this the kind of person who you want to be with?
NTA, he’d probably get shot in my city tbh. Being a “tough guy” won’t stop a bullet. OP I’d put money on him owning a big jacked up truck that is never taken off road or used for anything besides being a pavement queen.
I particularly like the term, emotional support truck, really upsets these macho wannabes
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17d
Too true. One of my coworkers got stabbed in a parking lot after some guy followed him there after some perceived slight on the road. Luckily my coworker is fine now but WTF.
Haha how long have you lived in Albuquerque? Nah it just seems like everyone in Albuquerque ends up shooting people in road rage issues and everyone there is into mma.
Haha you have his best interests in mind but your his girlfriend don’t bash the guy for loosing all his fights.
NTA. Get the hell away from this monster!
NTA - Oh my god. Is his cologne named Red Flag?
In a match Barehanded vs a weapon (read: guns in USA), weapon wins. Doesn't matter how much of a Master the Barehanded person is. Good martial arts teachers teach this to their students when talking about practicality.
Self defence is 1) a sport 2) a means to escape an altercation.
You are right. Your bf one day might piss of a dude who happens to have a gun and an anger management problem. NTA
This man will eventually be violent with you. Get out before it's too late.
NTA. He is going to find an actual tough guy one day and be humbled really quickly.
NTA
But if you stay, one day that anger will be turned on you. Why do you think he'll keep it to the road?
NTA
Chasing cars down for doing something stupid is stupid. Who knows who's driving that car and who knows what that driver is thinking. It could be a dumb teen or it could be someone with a gun. Rage driving can also lead to reckless driving which leads to speeding and car accident making insurance go up. Someone could also take him following them as stalking and possibly harassment (someone would be able to argue it I'm sure) which will not look good on his criminal record.
It might be your fault he left you, but better him leaving you than doing this while you are in the car when he gets in an accident.
If you boyfriend habitually road rages, he needs help with his mental health.
Let him go. You're dodging a bullet...something that he's probably not going to be able to do one day if he keeps up that erratic, aggressive behaviour in a country full of gun fanatics.
Have you considered that you haven’t heard from him because he FAFO and finally met the wrong person during a fit of road rage?
NTA
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17d
Yeah, that sounds most likely. Honestly, let him have his mantrum and don't contact him again. As others have said, throw the whole man out and start again.
You know, it would cost you less time and energy to date a guy who doesn't have rage issues and fragile masculinity than it's going to take you to deal with this guy's attention-seeking and childish punishment.
All the more reason to reconsider the relationship.
NTA, but stop riding with him. Tell him his road rage is putting YOU in danger and you're not going to put up with it any more. But, yeah, you shouldn't have brought up the MMA losses.
Those losses are directly related to the problem at hand.
It’s not like she pointed out that he can’t do pull-ups…she’s pointing out that he has a well-established record of not being able to do exactly what he claims he’d do.
NTA. He reminds me of my stepson when it comes to driving.
He is playing Russian Roulette on the road. If he left, he did you a favor. If he didn't leave for good, then you leave him (just a strong suggestion).
I get annoyed with bad drivers, and sometimes angry, but I don't drive aggressively in retaliation. I don't stare them down. I don't show the middle finger. Any of those could get you or someone else killed. I'm older and not tough, but even if I was younger and genuinely tough, I still wouldn't be a road rager. Only Superman can stop a bullet.
Instead, I just curse to myself, and let it go. I try not to even beep, as just that can set some people off. People can be crazy.
NTA
But you did just tell him he ain't shit. That'll probably not help your relationship.
NTA. It can end badly someday, as you already pointed out.
road rage is ridiculous. laugh at him.
Nta, your just looking out for him, even if it is tough for him to hear, my sister is the same way and has almost gotten herself killed on multiple occasions, he’s guardian angel out here pulling triple shifts
Sorry, but I couldn't help laughing, even though this is not a laughing matter at all. He is definitely putting himself in dangerous situations. I used to rage a lot. I am not a fighter at all, but I am 6'4. I was lucky no one ever punched me or worse. My brother had a guy pull a knife on him. No matter how badass you are, this is definitely playing with danger, lots of people have weapons and make terrible decisions in stressful situations.
He knows people can simply shot him right? No matter how strong he is, he’s not made from steel, and still can get really hurt or worse. That’s just stupid! NTA
I don't believe these events are happening at all. I think he feels that's what he should have done but doesn't actually do.
Even if he's muscular and won every mma fight he was in, gun wins against muscle every time. If you're in the US there's always a chance he'll come up against someone with bigger anger issues than him and a loaded gun.
NTA. A good beating is the least of his worries. Even the toughest MMA guy can get killed by a single bullet. He needs to grow and chill out!
NTA. One day he is going to go off on someone that he knows he can physically bully, and that person is going to pull out a weapon and plug him full of holes.
NTA.
To me your BF sounds like he's trying to appear confident when in reality it screams insecurity. It takes only 1 wrong guy to put him in his place and it might not end well. He might end up in jail, seriously injured or worse.
To be fair trained loser in MMA can still beat untrained guy but as I said it takes one bad incident and your bf will eat using straw for few months.
He needs to get a grip. Say few swear words and move on, there is nothing to gain from road rage fight.
NTA. He's starting trouble that doesn't need to happen. Every time he does this he increases the chance of killing someone with aggressive driving or getting shot by someone who's scared or angry.
NTA. No one is as tough as they think they are, and even if they were, someone else might be packing a knife or gun. Weapons don’t care how tough you are.
I had a cousin who road raged, and the guy pulled him out of the car and put him in a coma. Also, everyone is armed now a days so even if he is " MMA Tough" they'll probably be armed. I think you dodged a bullet with this guy. If you're still with him, I would reconsider.
NTA does he think every road rage incident involves fighting? In most, someone gets shot. It’s not worth your life to feed your ego. If he does it when yours not in the car, it’s only a matter of time before he does it with you there. If you haven’t heard from him, take it as a win and end it before his anger issues bleed into your life, too.
NTA.
He sounds like he gets off on throwing his little temper tantrums on the road to help alleviate his short man complex. One day he will fuck around and find out and hopefully you won’t need to be there to see it. I hope this raises some red flags on whether you want to continue a relationship with someone who has the maturity of a 5 year old.
NTA for calling him on his macho bullshit. You shouldn’t have brought up the MMA stuff/his height though. None of that stuff matters when the 'weapon' is a 2 ton car or a gun. I understand that he didn't listen when you made those very valid points, so you felt like you had to break him down a little. Still, he is focused on all the wrong things. He needs to deal with his fantasies of being tough and intimidating, because those are not virtues.
Nta his behavior is a choice he sees it all as ok and he has a tiny fragile ego, definitely needs to work on that if you plan on forever with him. Driving with the intent to intimidate or harm another is punishable by law. Unless he's got 50k to toss for legal or hospital bills he should stop 🛑 the tickets aren't that bad but suspended liscence is.
NTA - I mean…somebody had to tell him, he’s thinks he’s invincible. Also, he’s risking your life every time he tries to be Billy Bad Ass. Leave him, like yesterday.
NTA, the dude sounds super insecure and has to make himself feel tough. He could possibly be making up stories to appear like he's tough shit since he's never done it with you around. Depending on where you live, being the toughest guy around may mean absolutely nothing. A bullet in the head doesn't care how good at MMA you are.
NTA - and drop this guy.
Also, it doesn't matter how muscular he is if the other guy has a gun
NTA. What a fragile ego baby. Good way to get shot and killed, you should take out a life insurance policy on him if he insists on putting himself in unnecessary danger.
NTA, Honestly, when you go to places like a boxing or mma gym to train, most guys are usually humbled and chill after a few sparring sessions and especially losses. You kind of realize that there are all kinds of people out there that can do damage. The fact he is more agro after those experiences tells me there’s something more going on, and he needs help before he really gets hurt.
People who commit road rage offensives such as him are not right in the head. They feel entitled, which is why he reacts the way he does when he's slighted by another driver. You're better off leaving the situation now as opposed to waiting around to deal with the horrific aftermath of one of his road rage adventures that is definitely coming.
Dude, why would you care about a grown man with the emotional maturity of a child.
Road rage like that would be an immediate hard pass for me.
NTA - Your man has a fragile ego. He needs to let road rage go for one but he also needs to accept that there are going to be bigger, tougher guys than him and one day he'll learn that the hard way.
Like anything in the world, there's going to be smarter, stronger, more attractive etc people than you. That's just how the world is. He needs to get over himself.
NTA, guy is going to tailgate someone in his road rage and they're going to pull a gun on him.
He can have all the MMA training he wants, but if someone pulls a gun on you, and you have no idea how to react to it, if you get a chance to, all that training isn't going to save you.
Why are you with this guy?
NTA. He's right that you don't really respect him, but he's being a silly fucker who is not doing anything very respect worthy.
NTA, but you are ignoring serious signs that this guy isn't as stable or safe as you have convinced yourself he is.
Nta I absolutely hate people who follow others it's creepy as hell. Like why is your first reaction to stalk this person because you got angry? What's he going to do follow then try beat them up it's just all sorts of wrong and unsettling.
Yeah, dude is gonna get shot or machete-ed. NTA.
But for the record? Road rage is a massive dealbreaker, don't kid yourself here.
NTA.
But let's be honest. The issue is not that he's not actually tough. The issue is that he thinks intimidation is a valid way to address issues. 🚩🚩🚩
Is what your fault??? Your BF is a menace with a Napolean Complex that he's unable to back up. When you pointed out that he might not come out on top in an actual physical altercation he had a temper tantrum and disappeared. This man is dangerous to himself, you and others.
The only thing that is your fault is staying with this manipulative AH and being in denial about his "issues". You need to get far, far away from him. He is only going to find more and more reasons to be confrontational. He will challenge the wrong person sooner or later.
My husband has minor road rage issues. He will cuss and lay on the horn. It is not acceptable to me. I always tell him, you don't know what is going on in that car or why the person is driving like they are in a video game. Maybe the person is just not smart or safe, OR MAYBE they just got that call nobody wants to get. Maybe they have a woman in labor in the backseat, maybe they are rushing to a family emergency. You don't know what is happening in their car and life. Give a little grace.
Your boyfriend either is lying, to pump up his ego, which is giant red flag waving around. Or he has some seriously violent issues he is holding at bay. Which is even worse. I absolutely believe this guy does have a fragile ego, is really a coward, with pumped up views of himself. He has swagger and bravado but no real courage, knowledge or skill to back it up. If he ever feels backed into a corner, by someone smaller or weaker than he is, he will get violent. I honestly feel like your boyfriend is a ticking time bomb. You need to just get out of this situation.
NTA
NTA except for having him as a BF. You deserve better. He wouldn't talk to you like that if he respected you.
Nta you told the truth and he is not a fan of the truth. If this isn’t a prime example of “toxic masculinity” idkwtf is. Let him run off and pout, he’s not going to be useful at all in life. He wouldn’t last a week in my town.
Ewwwww. NTA, but he is. What do you actually see in him. He brings up his MMA. I live in a big city area along the coast in California. Some drivers are nuts. I have had 2 men follow me, and one actually block me in and get out of his car to get into mine. I did NOT instigate this at all. I pulled out into a busy main street, and this guy was speeding and chose to change into the lane I was pulling into. Because me pulling out made him slow down he was livid. I had my son in his car seat and was he got out of his car I fumbled with the locks but was to slow to hit the lock button. It was traumatic. Men like your boyfriend are disgusting. You are right tho, he will run into someone that won’t put up with this. A couple years ago there was a road rage incident where a man shot at the car and it hit a little boy. Just food for thought, he might not act like that with you but what happens when he finally loses it with you there? Are you also ok with being with someone like this? Because ignoring this behavior because “it doesn’t happen in front of you” is part of the problem too.
NTA, but your emphasis is wrong. Road rage is stupid even if you are built like The Rock. It's stupid because being angry and in charge of a one ton death machine is stupid. It's stupid because people might have guns (unless you are in Texas. Then they definitely have guns) and you could die.
Being 5'8'' is not the issue. Being an AH is the issue.
Seriously? ESH. Him for thinking that his toughness makes it OK. You for worrying about him getting hurt instead of making this a deal breaker and breaking up with him. Aggressive driving is a crime, road rage is abusive behavior and the people he's terrorizing probably don't deserve it, and let's not forget, he's targeting people he perceives as weaker than him to do this to. WebMD states that road rage is a leading cause of death for young children. According to American Psychological Association, 30 murders per year are linked to road rage.
But apparently "he might get hurt" is all you care about. He's going after someone else's wife, teenager, boyfriend, family. He deserves whatever happens to him.
NTA and why on earth would you want him to come back? This is a good thing.
Forget "putting himself in danger" -- what about following people to terrorize them because of some perceived traffic offense? That's horrifying behavior.
I'm not worried about HIM getting beaten up. Honestly, he's inviting it and it might do him good.
ESH. He shouldn't be road raging, and you shouldn't be cutting his balls off over a lost MMA match
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