I don't know how to start this. My fiance told me that he cheated on me for over a year now, and we've been together for 7 years total.

He says he doesn't want to be together anymore, which broke my heart, and still did since we were highschool sweethearts. His girlfriend was with him when he told me this, which made me even more upset since he didn't have the decency to tell me one on one. He let his girlfriend into our home, the one we bought together

Anyway, I wanted to tell him that I was pregnant on his birthday. Since his birthday is really close. He always wanted a family, a big family with at least 5 kids. I didn't want kids that much, but I didn't mind them either.

The moment he told me we were over, I knew I didn't want that baby. I didn't want to co parent or be a single mom, any of that. I have a good paying job, and that might make me selfish for not wanting the baby, but I don't care.

I told him I was pregnant when he told me it was over. And he looked a little upset, like he regretted it or something. He told me was fine with split custody, and I didn't say anything.

A few days later I got an abortion, I thought it was necessary to tell him and not lead him on, since I didn't want to see or talk to him ever again.

He called me when I sent the text, saying "why the fuck would you do that??" And so on. He said I knew damn well he wanted kids, and I should've told him before even thinking about it.

I feel selfish for doing what I did. But I feel like giving birth and overall having that kid would make me unhappy. I barely like kids and the thought of having one with the man who broke my heart is not helping.

I know this might be a stupid thing to post, but I feel like a jerk. He's the only one to know about the abortion but not the pregnancy.

— Hi everyone, it's around 6 hours later. And feel free to comment and respond to my comments and other replies. But I won't be updating or replying for a while.

I just need to tell someone who is someone I know. But thank you to each and everyone of you sweethearts giving me advice and more.

I know that responding to the anti abortion and "your a killer" comments are not helpful to me right now.

I will be back, and I will respond,and I will give you guys who are interested, an update soon enough.

I just need to take a break and not reply to the people trying to make me feel shame, remorse, guilt and all the above for my abortion.

I feel like shit right now, so if anyone's able to message me on the next few hours, with some recourses or anything, I'd greatly appreciate it.

I will update you guys as soon as I can, and again, feel free to leave comments.

And also, I absolutely did not get an abortion out of spite, revenge or to punish him for what he did. I didn't think about the abortion the moment he sat me down.

I don't blame the baby, even if anti abortion's disagree with that.

And I guess I do want some validation from at least strangers. Because I feel like I can talk to anyone. I feel horrible. So if I overacted at your comment, and whatnot, your right I guess.

I know this is a stupid post, but I thought I needed to consider his feelings and not just my own. Thanks, again