My father is re married to his 2nd wife for context. My step mom has always hated me for literally existing talked sh*t about my wife since the day she met her and called various family members to spread lies about her and say she’s dirty and crazy calling her fat. She even went as far as to call a family member that was letting us stay temporarily when things were hard to convince them they should put us on the street so we can be homeless. My dad never made her stop to this day I don’t know why. I’ve had various family members approach me and tell me randomly my wife is nothing like my step mother claims she is which I honestly find embarrassing. I would say majority of the horrible things that were said made their way back to me as my fathers side of the family hates my step mom so they always alerted me to her sh1t talking .Recently while me and him were speaking he brought up my wife and I asked him to stop speaking on my wife. I explained with everything that’s been side behind my back that’s been said it’s not appropriate. He told me so I’m “supposed to defend your wife?” I said you can tell her to stop and that it’s wrong because by staying silent you remain complicit with the behavior and she’ll do it further because you basically say it’s okay. He claimed not to know what I’m talking about. A few months ago I was making roughly 13,000 -15,000 a month and I got laid off from my job I decided to use the money I did earn to pay off debt and rent since then I’ve been working 4 jobs just until I can get myself where I need to be. So I asked him to borrow money a little while back he said he couldn’t do it. He said I need to be a man and that I’m old enough to stand on my feet. I left him alone on the topic and have just been working to save up the money to resolve the problem. He calls me today randomly to say “well why don’t you work instead of staying home”I answered I am working. (I work 56-60 hours a week currently) (my wife currently can’t work due to an injury). He says “ well your wife isn’t” and I stopped him and said leave my wife out the conversation she has nothing to do with this. I literally almost never ask for help if I didn’t get laid off you wouldn’t even know about the situation I would’ve just resolved it myself. He goes on to say you don’t wanna be a man you don’t wanna work hard I asked him simply when you let you friends borrow 3,000 or 5,000 why don’t they have to be men? He let someone borrow 3,000 and they never even paid him back. Why don’t you say any of this to them? One of his friends owns 2 rental houses and he regularly let him borrow money .And he asked me” have I ever asked you for money?” To which I responded yes you have you were fake crying about how you needed a 100$ to help your family and I gave you the money He got quite for a moment. For context when I gave him the 100$ I was literally homeless . He owned 2 properties but I was naive at (19)and gave in to the fake tears. He starts again with “your wife” I said I never speak on your wife even with all the awful things she’s said don’t speak on mine. I told him you never speak on a man’s wife. You don’t try this with anyone else and you don’t have the balls to go out in public and do it don’t do it with me. I told him when we talk you’re my father when you speak on my wife you come at me as a man. You wanna do that meet me in parking lot and we’ll see what you have to say about my wife . I told him don’t you ever speak on my wife. You got something you wanna say about my wife say it to my face and see what happens and then he told me I’m a loser and a bastard who spent his life draining him for money because he paid child support to my mother and basically disowned me as a son over the phone. My other family members heard about the argument and they went after him. AITAH?