I was that person for years that was ‘functional’ and on the outside looked like I was thriving after I was abused. I’d been a straight-A student and a workaholic for years. For me, school and work were the only things keeping me going and providing me with any kind of respite from my trauma (and even then, it was hard work not to have it replaying in my mind). I became very good at blocking it out, which has left me with a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms I’m now having to unpick.

I was able to keep this up for years, until one day I couldn’t. Everything came crumbling down around me, I struggled to get out of bed everyday, I stopped showing up to school. I stopped caring about anything. All my feelings and emotions towards my trauma that I’d ignored for years completely consumed me. I’ve never really been able to fully come back from that.

Point is, people with trauma-related disorders may seem like they are functioning on the outside, but in my experience, what is happening internally can be a completely different story. It is very hard maintaining that ‘functioning’ persona and eventually it falls apart and leaves you with an even bigger mess to deal with than you did in the first place.

(To clarify, this is just my experience with this and I know others may have completely different experiences. None of them are wrong or right, we just do the best we can with the tools we have)

Oooh I’ve never thought of using lambswool before, might give it a go!

That makes a lot of sense, thank you!