Yeah I’m not even all that suicidal at this point in my life but part of me almost feels this magnetic pull towards it. Like I’ve been all over the suicidal spectrum from just passing thoughts to full on trying to make it happen for at minimum eight years now (I’m 22) and honestly it’s been one of very few constants in my life. Like you, I’ll never actually make it happen, but part of me feels resistant to the idea of letting that part of me go.

Any song by the band “None”

Someone correct me if I’m wrong but I’m pretty sure that “depressive black metal” was the term that was originally used for the subgenre before other bands started calling it “depressive suicidal black metal”

Either way both are technically correct

There have been a few therapy modalities shown to have strong results for phobias. CBT, ERP and ACT come to mind. I personally have had luck with cognitive processing therapy.

If you check our pinned post, we have a therapist directory that includes Canada.

I’m a guy with quite a few friends who doesn’t consider himself lonely but most of my friends are women and I’ve found that most men just aren’t that interested in making friends for some reason. I just don’t think men value friendships and are too focused on making money, getting girls, getting super fit… friends just aren’t the concern of most men.

I once was asked how painful it was to have a penis stuck inside your penis 🤣 she thought that was how gay sex worked

I personally never want to get married (I don’t want the government involved in my relationships) but I absolutely want a long term boyfriend and kids in the future

I think a huge part of why we’re getting jury winners now is just that there are less songs that are marketing towards the jury now that the semis are 100% televote. Switzerland 2024 and Sweden 2023 were pure jury bait.

This all depends on what kind of music he already likes. As a rock and metal guy, I like her edgier songs, but that’s not gonna apply if he likes, let’s say, country.

It’s really just about slowly desensitizing yourself. For one example, my abuser had constantly dyed hair so I couldn’t be around people with dyed hair for a long time. One huge part of desensitizing myself was therapy, but beyond that, I started actually consuming media made by people with dyed hair, making friends with dyed hair, and constantly fighting my biases against those individuals. Now, I’m not at the point where I’m totally okay with dyed hair. I still can’t date people with dyed hair and I must admit that my heart rate still goes up quite a bit around them, especially if it’s the same color he had. However, it’s not immediately throwing me back to the trauma and sometimes I don’t even think about it while around those people.

TLDR: slowly desensitize yourself to your triggers.

The good news is you’ve got options. As someone else mentioned, I would say the first step is to see if you qualify for Medicaid or your country’s equivalent. You can also check out Open Path Collective which offers low cost therapy. Another option is group therapy and support groups which are generally cheaper. You can also seek out therapists that are still in training which you can sometimes find through colleges with post-graduate psychology programs. Worst case scenario, biweekly and monthly therapy is always an option.

Therapists deal with termination all the time. It’s an inherent part of the job. So you really don’t have to think about how they will feel. Then again, I highly recommend sending an email or text saying that you’re terminating because a majority of therapists will charge you the full price of the session if you just don’t show up to your appointment. Also your therapist is gonna need to follow up with you if you do anyways so you might as well do it on your own terms.

I do and I don’t at the same time. I enjoy having an hour specifically to myself as time for myself is kind of a scarce resource in my life. I also find comfort in knowing that I’m probably not gonna spiral out of control again, and if it does happen, I have a professional to fall back on. Then again, I hate the process of therapy itself. I hate challenging my thoughts, remembering my trauma, looking at what’s bad about myself, planning for the future… those parts suck. I also get anxious about therapy because I’ve had so many awful experiences in the past with therapy.

I know someone who goes once monthly because he found a therapist he really likes who is just completely booked solid

I also got one when I tried voting in SF1

I’m a gay guy who has been active in gay men’s spaces both online and in person since I was 15. I absolutely 100% noticed that the amount of adult men who were interested in me when I was 15-17 was way higher than that number is now that I’m 22.

I’m still… conflicted because I know my favorite (Norway) doesn’t have a winning chance, especially not with the new Israel televoting developments. I’ll probably somehow split mine between Norway, Ireland, and Croatia. I really love Ireland and Croatia this year and I think they have more of a fighting chance than Norway and I really don’t want Israel to just sweep the televote.

Here’s the nine criteria, you need five out of nine present in two or more areas of life not explained by another diagnosis to get diagnosed (do not use to self diagnose)

1. A grandiose sense of self-importance

2. A preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love

3. A belief that he or she is special and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people or institutions

4. A need for excessive admiration

5. A sense of entitlement

6. Interpersonally exploitive behavior

7. A lack of empathy

8. Envy of others or a belief that others are envious of him or her

9. A demonstration of arrogant and haughty behaviors or attitudes

I’m really shocked that Belgium was a NQ but I get it because the vocals and staging just weren’t quite there

They were one of the bands that really got me into heavier music, although they have admittedly gone down in quality over the years.

I believe that pretty much everything does

Romance has always been a massive missed high five for me. I have had a lot of people who have been interested in me, and I have been interested in a lot of people, but never have they been the same people. Maybe one day the stars will align but I doubt that’ll be anytime soon.

I’ll take the flowers in a heartbeat

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a very complex mental health condition (also a relatively rare one) that can only be diagnosed by a mental health professional. What I will say is nothing you said in this post indicates meeting any of the nine criteria for said diagnosis.

I feel like if anyone knows it was appropriated and not at all originally intended to be a hate symbol it would be Pagans… sounds like you just stumbled across a bad and uneducated moot.