Just perfect.

The Sweats

I was on a walking food tour of Greenwich village, manhattan, about 12 years ago when we stopped at a pizza place. Whilst standing outside eating our slices a guy with fuzzy hair and a dog on a bit of string approached us and asked how the pizza was. Everyone else kind of mumbled a response whilst I stood slack jawed looking at Howard Stern. No-one else recognised him except the guide. All I could say was “Hi Howard” and he smiled, said Hi and moved on.

Gifting his sister in law a watch for her birthday that was a) broken, b) cheap as crap and c) won in a raffle - the ticket was still on the bottom.

Slipping Through My Fingers and The Winner Takes it All by ABBA are incredibly sad songs. The first because it’s about the regret of a mother watching her child grow up and the second because it’s about the actual divorce of two of the band members, being sung by one of the divorcees (Agnetha).

Wait till you’re in your 50s…

Fixing an anal fistula. As I understand it it’s basically a small hole between your rectum and somewhere just around your arsehole. Basically an abscess in your poop chute. I had one and it got infected three times before the surgeon operated on it to close it up completely. Before that he would clean it up, reduce the inflammation and hope that it would go away. Apparently they sometimes do. Mine didn’t. The clean up was the most painful thing I’ve ever felt. It was done without anaesthesia. I had to lay on my side and the Drs nurse came in and basically lent on me to stop me moving. The Dr told me afterwards that he only hired big nurses for that very reason. One of the three times I had to have it done was when I was on holiday. I went to a walk in clinic and the Dr who did it had no f**king clue what he was doing. I think he got his doctorate in a cereal packet. I screamed blue murder.

That's good that he apologised. Too many people in this world, when they get past childhood, somehow lose the ability to admit when they've made mistakes. Apologising should never be seen as a weakness, in fact, the complete opposite. Those who can still hold there hands up and say "sorry I f**ked up" are actually showing strength of character.

So many boomers have never been in accidents but for some reason have seen loads in their mirrors.

Motion activated sprinkler system.

After Beethoven died they went to clear out his house and found a massive turd on his piano stool. They were all a bit confused until they realised it was his last movement.

I used to volunteer at The Intrepid museum in NYC and the number of times, after speaking to guests about bits of the ship or the submarine (The Growler), people would say thank you for your service was hilarious. Firstly because I’m British so I’m not sure they ever thought about where my service was (British people don’t say this to ex-servicemen) but also, just because I’m a volunteer doesn’t mean I’m a vet. I had one family insist I must be a veteran, even when I insisted I wasn’t. As they walked away, the dad turned and said, “we get it - you were in a service you can’t tell us about”. God knows what he was thinking of.

He sent you a double cheeseburger, large fries and a sprite in the morning? He’s definitely worth a second date 😂.

But with regard to your actions, good for you. Get out there and live what I’m sure is going to be a fantastic life.

They obviously missed the magic moped. It always appears and carry’s me home when I’ve had a few too many. At least that’s my assumption.

That’s a great idea. I’ll reach out to them and see if they have any thoughts. The controller is an excellent step forwards from them so yes they maybe have a list of games ready to suggest?

All great ideas, thank you. Minecraft is probably about his level but from what I’ve seen he may have difficulty with certain pieces of this. I’m going to an expo of disability products soon so will be looking out for buttons that I can attach to the console to give him more options. The elbow idea is definitely a possibility. Thanks.

That sounds like a great option especially as he likes dinosaurs quite a bit. If they’re eating people as well then that definitely will be a draw for him!

Thanks for this! It’s exactly what I would want for him in a game but wouldn’t know where to even start other than going through individual games looking for adaptability like this. Thank you!!!

Oh wow that’s a great suggestion. A new game but with a classic old school way of playing. Thanks. I’ll definitely look into it.

Thanks for the idea. For him it’s not really the controller, it’s the ability to really only use one hand. I’m going to look into other extra buttons that he could attach separately so as to maybe have a large button as the X or O etc. that he could hit with his other hand.

That's a great idea thank you. I used to be quite into games but haven't played much for years so am a bit out of the loop. I'll have a look for some of those types of games as yes, turn based strategic games could be perfect for him. Thanks for taking the time to reply, really appreciated.

Used to love playing in the ten foots behind all our houses.

Oh god, the Tannery smell was my first thought!