To be fair I have genuinely seen accounts disappear from my tinder message list, assumed I’d been unmatched, only for them to appear again a few days later with an unread message from them. Tinder can mess up like that sometimes

Dutch

You’re 21, you’re way too young to be dealing with this

When you were younger? Past your prime now perhaps?

If you’re finding that only women who you deem to be unattractive find you attractive, it’s because you are also unattractive and need to lower your standards. If you really were all that you say you are, the more attractive women wouldn’t be avoiding you would they?

Using an escort is going to follow you around and make your life harder with women in a much more significant way. Having used a prostitute would be an automatic break up for me, and I’m sure many others. Focus on improving yourself, finding someone in a normal way, and losing your virginity in a safe space

This is what happened from how I see it. You came into her work multiple times, which gave her the impression you would want to see her after work, and when you rejected her every time she would have felt embarrassed for assuming that. You turning up at her work and then being unwilling to see her afterwards would have been a turn off for her, because she didn’t know where she stood with you. You’re also not communicating, turning up at her place of work unexpectedly to pick her up would have been more concerning for her, as she can’t trust you to be predictable. I think there may have also been a concern that if she had spent more time with you to see if you were compatible, and then decided that you weren’t, could you have been trusted not to turn up randomly to her work or behave inappropriately. She may have felt that giving you the benefit of the doubt would have been more trouble than it’s worth.

I was the bird that shat on your car and I’ll do it again

I’d say it also includes opening doors for her, pulling out chairs, opening her coat for her to slide in etc etc

The only reason I quit smoking when I did was because my parents were so against it and would destroy anything I brought into the house, and it became more effort than it was worth. My friends whose parents were more lenient are on much different life trajectories. It’s anecdotal of course but definitely NTA in my opinion

Are we absolutely sure she was pausing for you to pay? There are lots of reasons to that she could have hesitated, including wanting to share an Uber, wanting to go back to one of yours houses? If you liked her this wouldn’t be enough to call it quits personally

Men leave their wives for younger women when they’ve met their wives young and the wife grows up. A guy actively pursuing a 40 year old isn’t going to suddenly go for someone much younger instead. My only concern would be if he decided he wanted biological kids somewhere down the line and that wasn’t something you could provide at that point

As an alternative view, I am a single mother and have had absolutely no problem dating. I tell dates within the first few days of talking that I have a toddler, and have never had a negative response. When things haven’t worked out it’s been largely my choice and completely unrelated to my child. The way that this sub works really warps what I understand dating to be, it’s presented as incredibly competitive, which personally I’ve not found it to be, and also that the ‘leagues’ people are in, the assets they have, what they have to offer is massively inflated in importance. At the end of the day, people fall in love, and maybe a woman with children wouldn’t be a guys ideal situation, but for lots of people it’s something they can accept if they like their potential partner enough.

The only thing to consider is that have you done anything in the past to make her assume you were being over dramatic, in a boy who cried wolf scenario. Otherwise nta

Did anyone else just think Matthew was autistic, and I say that being one myself, the scripting, the social anxiety, him being on the outskirts of the male group somewhat too. It just screamed autism to me

I don’t because I’m a young single mother, and that is well known to attract predators. I do however, mention it in conversation within the first couple of days of speaking to someone new. I do feel like this is a fair way to not lead people on, but also to prioritise my child’s safety.

From your writing, your personality sounds intolerable, it’s probably that

Have these people never heard of tights or something?

Perhaps she’s realised that any man in his mid 30s pursuing a 21 year old girl is likely an absolute loser

Real women do not send people porn stills, stop speaking to her and move on

You’re welcome

The girls that play red dead are all on TikTok making Dutch thirst traps (I know that because I am a girl on TikTok making Dutch thirst traps)

GRANNY’S GARDEN

Don’t put that you’re a mother in your profile, it attracts predators. Bring it up in conversation with them, it’s much much safer

Soft mullet