Tedium of existing, too. You get invested in the outcome.

Oh, they just started twinkling more is all.

Lighting the beacon. We have a dragonfly problem.

On it 5 years, and quit a month ago. Weight loss has been 0.4 lbs/day and lots of sweat. My big picture thinking got buffed, but I’m having to adapt to being a cog in the machine. In the thick of it, but looking forward to a healthy self image. It was holding me back.

Peak? I haven’t even begun to peak.

You have a hypothesis. How do you propose testing it?

Yeah, what humans do with resources is exploit them.

Neat, and congrats on the new gig! Although taking the step of reaching outside of your family bubble for clear perspective and validation of your struggle may seem small and late in the game, there’s no weakness in trying all that you can to hold a family unit together as long as you can, and we are left to decide what’s too much to bear. You’re definitely right in calling out isolation as bad vibes! Bad actors want you to feel alone with nowhere to turn to continue their gross behavior in the shadows while making you doubt your senses and intuition for questioning it.

I’m glad motherhood is a ray of sunshine! Those of us with big ears can endure a lot, but you know that we set a higher bar for what transpires among little ears. Also, it’s probably common advice, but you should ensure a rainy day fund that only you can access. The book says it better, but controlling people can escalate beyond what’s been seen before when they become aware of their hold slipping.

As far as me, I’m glad that my perspective has been useful to you. It has been therapeutic to channel my regrets in a helpful way, and I wish you and your little one all the best and a path to serenity!

I like to think so. It’s a privilege to get the right help, but I landed a therapist who is a licensed addiction counselor last year. Part of what helped me was reading Why does he do That by Lundy Bancroft. He’s ran group counseling for thousands of abusive men since the 80s, so he clearly defines what counts as abuse, types of abusers, and common tactics like weaponizing the legal system. Honestly, I joined this subreddit to read how people express the frustration and hurt to be conscious of the stakes if I slide again. It’s tragic how they’re mostly past the point of no return and still looking for an easier way forward than leaving.

I can’t imagine picturing and starting a life together, then having that ideal vision of a happy little family chipped away by willfully unchecked addiction and decimated trust. I’m sorry you’re in such a bind. It sounds like you’ve had enough and are gathering resolve, and I hope you can find tranquility and peace of mind wherever life takes you.

It’s a lazy and entitled mindset to brush off legitimate concerns coming from a place of love that are rooted in uncomfortable truths, especially with a child together. When I had that disposition toward a partner doing all she could to get through to me, it was a lot of misdirection and sweeping under the rug from me, because I had a blind spot on behavior occurring later in the nights and hoped she’d eventually drop it. She’d tell me she had videos of me being sloppy, but I didn’t want to feel the shame and remorse that would spur me on to the uphill climb of doing better. I just wasn’t ready or equipped to hear it, and she was right to leave. I admire the courage it took for her to turn the page.

I’m sorry you’re in such a predicament. You will know what’s best. I just wanted to share what I know of the mindset in case it helps.

Holy shit! You landed that dark humor.

I find it easily readable. If it takes them a fraction of a second longer, that beats it being in the wrong place. Full send if it was me.

Can’t choke under pressure.

Would you mind giving me a synopsis? I’m contending with COVID and new to the hobby.

I can tell you’re not Far Sided.

Spindrift is good for low calorie with taste. Your body is used to sugar from breaking down alcohol, so I’m a big fan of Jones Soda.

Your liquor stores commonly have bottles from before the Soviet Union fell?

It informed my career choices. With wind, solar, and nuclear, Shell can go to hell.

I moved back a year ago, and I have a support system again!

So a mix of torrenting, streaming torrents, and your own local media streaming. What is your storage? If the disk is bogged down, you can have availability drama unrelated to CPU/RAM. I’d check with iotop.

Personally, I opted for a NAS enclosure from Terramaster for Docker ops, especially media streaming. The built-in OS is garbage, so I run Ubuntu Server. It’s x86, so it’ll run basically any Docker image. It also has some video converting features in the chipset, and aside from the HDDs, you can RAID two M2 SSDs for OS and upgrade the RAM. Network is two 10 gigabit Ethernet.

This is NOT budget friendly, but it’s what I went for instead of a Pi.

Look, I did donuts on my high school’s football field, had to change schools, and had to serve a sentence. It wasn’t a manic thing, but the people worth my while moved past it. If this guy thinks his dipshit friends are so great, he should stick with them. Absolutely spineless.

Shit history, Randy.

You’re talking to a skinsuit hivemind. The bees in their ass had to burrow up to get control… It’s a swarm under that trilby.