Yer once it's on its not so bad, it's finding something that keeps me gripped though, otherwise I just end up scrolling through the film choices looking for something, got rid of a lot of subscription services though which has lessened the scrolling but also lessened the availability haha. I find too much choice isn't good for me

Tbf I used to do that, forgot about it haha

I keep hoping for the day when the hyperfocus aligns and that room then gets cleaned out, also helps with chucking stuff cos if it's been in there a year or 2 it's clearly not needed haha

I struggled with my house for ages, couldn't keep on top of it and couldn't relax as there was just stuff to do everywhere taunting me, what I did in the end after years of overthinking the process was I booked a day off work, got an extra pair of hands to help me and just moved anyghing and everything that wasn't absolutely essential to me or the kids into the spare room to 'sort another day' (it's never gonna happen let's be honest) it was difficult and I kept finding reasons to keep things out or thinking I need to do this with this thing etc. But I forced myself through it and the person helping knew the situation so helped keep me on track, but my god has it made a difference to how I feel at home, it's made tidying up what's left easier and quicker and feels a lot less claustrophobic. I'm not sure if u have the space but maybe you could try and find somewhere that just becomes a dumping ground so it's out of sight and out of mind. And if you do get rid of something that u need one day u know where it is (just be prepared to open pandoras box going to get it)

Not really specific to what you asked but u mentioned the house and kids and its probably the biggest single thing I've managed to do that has a noticeable effect on other aspects of life (house is still a state, but a state I can live with now haha)

Yer that's it, the never ending circle of doing until u can't do anymore then feeling even worse than before. Keep seeing these memes and videos about wanting to just sit around a fire of an evening taking in the nature around but it's not quite the same where I live, maybe I'm not being appriciate enough but it's not quite idillic enough for what I want (or need?) has a knock on effect too because when the time alone is over and I've had to go back to reality it's even harder cos I've used just as much energy if not more away from work than I do at work. Even going to see friends these days is hard becasue everyones on their phones or going off somewhere else I just don't find it relaxing. I don't think many people would choose to watch crappy TV but as there wasn't much choice it was what it was and half the time crappy tv could cause conversation, now if it's not interesting then no ones watching it anyway and things just don't flow (in my experience/opinion anyway)

That's what I did, albeit with a normal alarm, but then I realised I can just go back to bed once I've turned it off (snoozed it) and I have 10 mins of the most relaxing time of my life haha, so it's not the getting up to turn the alarm off, it's finding something worth getting up for that's better than going back to bed I struggle with lol

I've never tried any kind of sleep aid and having 2 kids makes me weary about being knocked out too much, in an ideal world all I want is to have to power to decide it's time to sleep and turn the noise off upstairs, I know it isn't that simple but in an ideal world it would be, in order to get the recommended hours of sleep, I don't know how much I really need, all I do know is somewhere between 2 hours and 12 hours is sometimes useful, honestly doesn't seem to have any impact life the amount of sleep I get (until it catches up with me after a few days)

I've tried all sorts of times for the alarm, earlier, later, changing the spacing between each one (instead of 10 mins some are 6 mins some are like 13 and stuff like that, to try and keep the autopilot guessing) I also do all the prep work the night before because there would be no chance in the morning, but it's still a rush as I've done it that long and life is that predictable generally that I know i can do it all in a rush and get where I need to on time, it's just a stressed induced rush, but that stress will get things done. Anxiety keeps me on track getting it all done the night before, cos I know i won't have time in the morning.

I feel stupid but it's like I have no conscious control over myself, life's just this railroad of routine that I'm forced to live so I've developed coping mechanisms to manage it, but surely as a functioning (ish) adult I should be able to have more control over what time i get out of bed, but anyway I wake up with the alarms and just lie there enhoying the peace and comfort until the very last minute, it's a self whatever cycle of knowing it's gonna be uncomfortable getting up so I put it off as long as possible therefore making it remain uncomfortable, I need to break the cycle yet I refuse to actually do anyghing about it. So I'm gonna attempt self bribery haha

Ratchet and clank? Might not be the fantasy theme you mean but I always found the upgrade system pretty fun and once you've completed the story once (might just be certain games?) you could go back to the beginning and do it again but the weapons and enemy's just got more and bigger and it was easier to get all the hidden items you'd missed the first time round. I recently played the ps3 games again and wasn't horrified by the graphics which was nice considering how old they are in technology terms

Hey, sorry I didn't get back to you yesterday, to be honest you made so many good points I didn't really know where to start, so I didn't... I'm just going to comment on some of the points which require a bit less deep thought but don't want you to think Ive ignored all you wrote, there's just a lot there haha

I don't really underatand people in general, and this may come under masking/imposter syndrome etc, but as an example depending on who I am around/where I am different sides (personalities?) of me become more prominent, ie around Co workers, or my kids, or casual friends vs friends that I do things with, maybe I interact with people in the wrong way or something but it seems like that specific side of me is OK at the time, but then I think abiut all the other parts of myself and how it's so different to the people I'm with, which makes me feel like I'm genuine or something like that (can't concentrate at the moment not going to lie)

As for the boots, once I got home and all my responsibilities taken care of (by about 1130 last night) and I remembered to use the 'big Internet' I fired up the desktop and figure out a satisfactory desicion in about half an hour, no idea weather it'll be the correct choice or not but hey ho.

Just for a side story, back a few years ago now before my head completely imploded and became the mushy mess it currently is (ok it's not so bad as I write this, but I'm aware of how fucked it is in certain moments) I wanted a new tv and it basically came from a relative buying the biggest cheapest they found, I wanted the same initially until I went down the rabbit hole and in the end ended up spending about twice the amount and getting a 70inch tv, which from 42 was quite an upgrade... Anyhow, I went down the rabbit hole, learnt so much about them and ended on the (imo) best balance between quality and price. And 3 or 4 years later im still happy with it, so it payed off obsessing for about 3 days I think it was, hate to think how many hours I spent making that decision. But there was a couple of differences between the tv and the boots which caused stress this time, and tvs are a lot more spec based rather than feeling based which can't be measured and is differnet for everyone. Also back then due to a different lifestyle I had more ability to spend that time, now I know that if I need to dedicate those hours to a desicion I'm basically not able to anymore.

Isn't life fun haha, I appriciate your input and efforts on my poet, thank you

Hey, yes I did, I had forgotten one key point when my brain was on holiday and I was in meltdown mode, big Internet, sat down infront of the desktop computer and I dokt know what it is but could be as simple as a larger surface making comparisons easier but it took about half an hour for me to find and buy some, fuck knows if I've made the right decision but I didn't spend loads so aslong as they aren't terrible then it'll be fine and I can think about more expensive ones next year if things are a bit better financially. Mind you it could also be that once I was out of work for the day and busying myself with things that I enjoyed and being able to physically move around more helped with clarifying it all. I don't know how other overthinkers/anxiety sufferers find being at work but for me its a nightmare when I want to get something done (something along those lines, ie research and stuff like that) Thanks for your time and patience Internet stranger

It's more of a buy cheap buy twice kinda thing for me, somethings are better off cheap but certain things to me are worth the time and effort and money being put into them, it gets difficult when money becomes tight and it's something for myself though

I appriciate your understanding, doesn't help that I always try and think these things through at times when I can't do anything about it, partly because I know if I don't sear it into my brain through stress and anxiety then I'll forget about it (I use notes and reminders etc too but I end up becoming blind to them so I try to save those for actually important things that I mustn't forget) I'm going to get some sorted tonight cos as u say it'll just keep eating away until it's done, and youve got a point that there is a point where it's inevitable to get sore feet when standing on them all day, it's obvious things like that that I just don't think about, hence the brain gone on holiday part of the title haha, definitely no desk job though, I'd take sore feet over that any day haha

For me it is comfort first as my job isn't the most dangerous or slippery etc etc so general toe protection is likely good enough (there is always that chance, but it's not a high risk environment) which is why I struggle as comfort comes down to personal opinion I think rather than science stuff

That's exactky the kind of answer I am after thank you, personally I'll probably stick with the Chelsea type since I'm lazy and just like to drag them onto my feet, the ones I've had in the past don't seem like they would benefit from being tighter or anything that laces would offer so thanks for the clarification on that and also the zip, it makes sence. I will have a look at some of the ones I'm drawn too and see what type of heel they have and it may narrow it down a bit. If there's anything else worth mentioning then please do (safety isn't the highest priority as it's a relatively safe environment, just gotta have protected toes and midsole is a preference of mine rather than a requirement)

I have since found a subreddit and have asked in there, but it seems primarily American and the majority of recommendations from a quick skim where way more expensive than I am used to spending, but that's what I want to know weatehr there is a benefit to spending that much more or weather people's different circumstances is what makes the difference. The boots I have used for the past 10 months have been better than the ones I've had previously but they still cause discomfort after a while. There isn't any shoe shops as such within my area that sell a wide range of work boots, just general hardwear stores so it's not really the type of place to try things on. Within my company there are people who swear by the cheapest of cheap but also those who wear expensive boots and claim it's worth it considering how much time we wear them, the best boot in the world to me is one that doesn't make me stumble at the end of the day from sore feet, some days this current pair does that, other days it's not a problem, maybe it's all in my head, I don't know. I just wanted to be able to buy some boots and not have all these emotions tied into it and have it as yet another reason to think of myself as a failure. If i get the cheapest boots and they are uncomfortable I made the wrong choice, if I get the best boots and they are comfortable but more expensive than I can comfortably pay then I made the wrong choice. And just with it being a wearable item that takes time to get a proper feel for (temp changes, different uses for them etc etc) I can't really form an opinion on them until their well worn. I have been able to put up with these boots for the past 10 months but it would be nice to know I'm going to be comfortable in them daily.

Theres just too much choice out there so down the rabbit hole I go...

I appriciate your answer and I'm not trying to be argumentative so I will try and reword it without letting anxiety run the show this time.

Over the past however many years I've tried all sorts of work boots from the cheapest to Aldi type brands up to about 100 quid a pair from reputable companies, some have been better than others but I always at some point end up with sore feet, and now it's come to time to replace my current pair, which have lasted about 10 months before wearing through the soles (and I've replaced the insoles too) I don't know enough about their construction or materials used etc to make an informed decision. I'd be interstsed in going all out and buying an expensive pair to see if once u pass the 100 quid sort of mark if they are better, lots of recommendations are generally in that price area, but my worry is wasting a lot of money on something that isn't much better than the cheaper ones, money is tight as it always is but being as I spend so much time in them it could be worth it, but I don't know until I try.

I haven't tried that exact pair u suggest, but being the Internet there are so many valid opinions and preferences that everyone is right, just at work for example some people are perfectly happy with the cheap ones work supplied initially but I couldn't stand them, and others are running around in 200 quid pairs saying that it's worth the money cos u spend so much time in them, and as it comes down to how they feel and last over time it's not a desision that can be made on paper. I have since asked on a workwear subreddit (which I didn't know existed before asking in here) for opinions as there may be someone who suggests getting a certain type of material is better or something to do with the soles, I don't know.

At the bottom of the initial post was anxiety and worrying about spending money which is needed elsewhere, and also the struggle I face with being wrong about my choice, now either all the shit I've faced throughout life has lead me to end up in this position where I can't make a simple choice, or I'm that fucked in the head that I can't just do shit and deal with the consequences. Either way I don't want to come across as being shitty towards you as u have taken the time to reply to me and I appriciate that, my reality is that of one where a simple job such as this turns into a nightmare for me, and i hate it but it is what it is

Surely safe comfortable and durable is the best possible boot? This is my chance to try something else after years of trying different brands types etc, to be honest if money was less tight I wouldn't be worrying this much but if I make the wrong choice then I'm stuck with them until they wear out and after previous experience of being stuck in bad boots it has a large knock on effect to how well I feel within the rest of my life. It may sound stupid but it can cause a lot of issues

If only it was that simple, I've no idea of any shops around here that sell work boots except screw fix type places where u can't really try them on and very limited selection, but also in my experience it's after a few weeks or so once they've worn in that the issues start to show with bad boots. Ive spent years trying different boots and it's about time I tried investing in some decent ones, there's just too many to choose from. I do like your optimism though for thinking that this kind of hell within my head can just be stopped, I wish you where right, I really do

That's my usual go to method but in this situation it won't work as it comes down to how they feel at the end of the day, as I said in a previous post I've realised its more anxiety rather than adhd causing the problem

This is how it's an issue though isn't it, last years boots where ok, but still uncomfortable, but better than the cheap pair work supplied, but because of what it is I won't know if somethings better or worse until I've worn them and they've adapted to my specific feet etc etc by which time any boots would be past a returns window, it's having to base it on personal opinion I think that makes it so difficult, there wouldn't be any resale value on a pair of worn boots, but it's one of them things that considering how much time I spend in them it can have an effect on how I feel at the end of the day. I don't know enough about boots and how their made/constructed to know what materials etc are best for my situation, and i am just trying to avoid ending up down that rabbit hole, but there may not be any other option

Oh I fully agree, but it's not about perfectionism, or even the boots in this case, it's about not being able to make a desicion and I struggle with it constantly throughout daily life, the boots just happened to be the latest problem I face, but as I said it's anxiety that's preventing me form just getting on with it (because if I make the wrong desicion I will feel ashamed of myself for being an idiot)

But I apply your logic to so many parts of life, hence why nothing I have is particularly nice or stylish or fancy haha

That's my go to but what if theres better choices? (I realise as I type this it is more of an anxiety issue rather then adhd... My bad)