I had been hesitating with writing this post for a bit of time (since February 2024), because I don't like to complain publicly and I have been looking for solutions of my problem(s) so far.

Forewarning and context: I am on autism spectrum, ADHD and DCD (dyspraxia). All diagnosed (ADHD and DCD since early childhood; AS since 13 years old). Also, I struggle with depression, albeit well under pharmacological & psychiatrist care. Beside of that, I'm not a native English speaker, I live in Poland (based on Warsaw). It's going to be a long post.

I've started my journey with archery in the end of May 2023. Long story short, my first bow was Rolan Snake "60 (22 lbs) and in between August and September, I've switched to my current bow, Oka Ridge Boga "68 (35 lbs). I've managed to make a such poundage jump. As you may guess, my archery category is BHR/TR-RB/'traditional-hunter'. Not a modern olympic barebow (a.k.a. "Barebow").

All was fine and neat up until February 2024, when I've noticed that my progress halted. "Learning curve hit it's temporary plateau, as it goes like sinusoid", I thought and moved on. I hardly can describe myself as a "self-taught" archer, as I've received tons of guidance and help from members of the archery club to which I belong to. I've been in a couple of lessons with a coach specializing in field archery. I've practiced indoors too, asking local coach for tips too. For instance, they corrected me about to not making strange twists and turns with my upper body. [I'm writing that because there will be questions about it, foremost]

In the meantime, I've got a opportunity to participate in a couple of field archery (3D and 2D) amateur tournaments. I was at last place at my first one. However, I've managed to not get the very last one (penultimate mostly, sometimes better). My peak performance was achieveing 11th place out of 18, at 3D+2D amateur tournament with WA-like rules (two arrows, 10-8-5-0). I went twice on even more amateurish and local contests (including one at Viking-Slavic fair) and I got a second place twice.

OK, I am getting to the point. Since two months, I've experienced shortfall of my performance. While I've managed to recognize my mistakes (mostly form, but also anchor deficiencies, poor release, too quick release) and sort it out, I repeat the same mistakes once again, with some random "fashion" of former mistake showing on again when I rooted down a current one. I feel like I have very limited control (abysmal body awareness, thanks to AS/DCD combo) about how my body actually works under both tension and the requirements of having certain body parts and muscles not going stiff (no death grip, release hand working only as a leverage, etc.). Seasonal increase of intensity of my depression didn't help either.

Obviously to say, I'get tense when shootings goes wrong, especially when I'm convinced that "I am aligned myself correctly", but the arrow goes differently because I was aligned wrong/differently.

I've already made some decisions in order to chill and calm down, plus to mitigate limited "RAM" in regards of fine motor control and body control. For instance, after a couple of April's tournaments I've decided to only go for tournaments where I can travel by myself (no social pressure, when I rely on someone's good will to travel deep into the country). I've invested with loop earplugs, to lessen the auditory input. So far, I recognized that my archery performance is intristincally linked to my current (ephemeral) mental state and my emotional state. There are moments when I can focus on my shooting and achieve somewhat tight (relatively speaking) groupings or at least 4-5 arrows going in a single direction. And sometimes, even when I take a care of a shot, the arrow goes extremely to the left (or sometimes to the right, bur rarer), because I wasn't aware that my body decided to align and hold the form much differently for this shot. So far, my only reliable test is "indoor 16 meters to 80 cm 6-10 shield [48 cm in diameter]":

• When I hit that substantial yellow centre (16 cm), either is a good shot or just a minor mistake.
• When I hit the red circle, it means I've made anchor/release/bowhand error.
• When I hit the outermost blue circle, it means my form had been incorrect from the start, which made another possible errors as in point above.

Also, I've noticed that I have a problem with properly setting my bowhand, when I need to make an adjustment for arrow drop.

What I expect from you is to get an advice. How to get along with abysmal/very poor body awareness, with DCD, when practicing an archery? My own physical and neural capabilities are somehow limited and it's an awful feeling, when I know that something exact went wrong with that shot, but I don't have a guarantee that my next shot will be better after making a correction (I mean, correction of the mistake, not correcting my alignment sideways). It's like fighting with my own body, when I have a clear mental picture of what I should do, but the nerves and muscle groups goes as they please in details during a drawing procedure. I don't want to abandon archery, as it is my gateway for physical activity and development (alongside other, but non-physical).

I am also considering of changing archery discipline. My first thought is a compound bow, with potentialy more stable anchoring, using sights as a guidance (offloading fine motor skills, muscle memory and intuition to analytical thinking process, when aiming) and less tension while holding an arrow. I could simply go for olympic target bow, but I personally don't vibe with that discipline and also - at least here in Poland - it is "least fun type of archery" at least for me and perhaps most elitistic and offish one. Another idea is to go straight into traditional/re-enactment archery, as to ditch out my own mental burden of trying to shoot accurately and simply having fun with engaging with the history topics. However, the latter one has even more demanding technique at the beginning, while still I have quite beginner archery capabilities...

To not get lost in the post, archery happens to be a really good indicator of how much DCD affects me. While having mediocre archery skills at best, still Im shooting better than I'm throwing sticks, rocks or javelins. I want to enjoy the archery, make steady (even if slow) progress and get the feeling of not returning to the worse place I've have been before. I know that I will never become a really good archer, not with my conditions and being overweight 33-years old. Perhaps I need to find an entire different purpose of practicing an archery...