And I’m glad you survived as well, god bless

Ah ok sorry man that makes sense

Sorry for you … but two « white » guys. Does it matter what color they are in the context of this story ? Anyway…

They are just enjoying something without harming anyone. Who are you and OP to snitch on them ?

Putain ça fait du bien de lire vos échanges

Non ce n’est pas normal. Poursuis tes rêves et arrête de te trouver des excuses pour être déçu des autres, de la vie etc. En analysant ton titre et ton texte je vois deux choses qui sautent aux yeux. Dans ton titre tu dis en gros que les GENS te jugent. Alors que dans ton texte en dessous et toutes les explications que tu fournis tu ne fais que decrire ce que TOI tu ressens et juge à propos de toi même. C’est toi qui veut plus parler. C’est toi qui veut plus partager. C’est toi qui doute. C’est toi qui pense tout ça et crée ta propre realité. Tu fais un transfert. Les gens ont s’en fou en fait, c’est pas eux qui vont te tenir par la main pour tes passions et tes rêves. Chacun vis son truc. Donc si tu as des rêves et des choses qui te tiennent à cœur commence à créer un plan d’action concret plutôt que de laisser passer chaque 24 heures de ta vie et ruminer des pensées négatives en boucle dans ta tête. Agi. Demain tu vas faire quoi pour resoudre tout ça ? Un nouveau post reddit ? Je dis pas ça pour être méchant, j’aimerai vraiment que tu réalise tes rêves car moi j’ai été comme toi et je reconnais très bien ta mentalité. Si tu as quelque chose à faire dans cette vie FAIS LE. Sois heureux / heureuse. Kiffe. Tu as le droit et surtout tu ne veux pas avoir des regrets quand tu seras plus vieux

Le café surtout en mode 8 tasses par jour, c’est nocif pour le coeur, la pression artérielle, le sommeil, le stress (d’où mes questions), mais aussi comme c’est diurétique tu pisses et chie 10 fois par heure donc tu te vide en eau et en électrolytes (sodium, magnésium, etc) donc tu te déshydrate de fou et faut boire beaucoup pour compenser. Est ce que tu bois minimum 1.5L-2L d’eau par jour + mange suffisament de sel / sodium / potassium ?

Sans parler qu’avec ce genre de doses que tu prends ça doit te bousiller le microbiome intestinal.

Étude 1 (augmentation des risques cardiovasculaires chez les gens qui consomment +6 tasses par jours) : https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10262944/#:~:text=In%20a%20study%20by%20Zhou,cups%20of%20coffee%20per%20day.

Café et déshydratation : https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/nutrition-and-healthy-eating/expert-answers/caffeinated-drinks/faq-20057965#:~:text=As%20a%20chemical%2C%20caffeine%20increases,of%20urine%20the%20body%20makes.

Les conclusions d’une meta-analyse de 200 autres études sur le café : « Coffee drinking seems safe within usual patterns of consumption, except during pregnancy and in women at increased risk of fracture ⚠️⚠️⚠️ 👉 Existing evidence (c.-à-d. les soi-disant preuves qu’on récoltées ces études jusqu’ici) is observational and of lower quality, and randomised controlled trials are NEEDED.👈⚠️⚠️⚠️ A future randomised controlled trial in which the intervention is increasing coffee consumption would be unlikely to result in significant harm to participants »

En plus de ça tu devrais aussi calculer combien de milligrammes de caféine tu ingurgite par jours (c’est plus précis que de dire « 8 tasses ») parceque au delà de 400mg par jours tu bousilles ta santé (et ça aussi y’a pleins d’études dessus). Sachant qu’une tasse peut déjà monter à 150-200mg de caféine selon comment tu fais ton café (température d’extraction, type de café, type de broyage, quantité d’eau etc) bah potentiellement tu bois déjà entre 1200mg et 1600mg (1,2g et 1,6g). Je sais pas si tu réalises mais c’est juste ÉNORME et super malsain.

Tu dis que le café est bénéfique pour la santé oui c est vrai mais pas avec les doses de cheval que tu prends. A ce stade c’est juste une drogue dont tu te sers pour compenser un manque d’énergie et compenser aussi je pense un mauvais sommeil, du stress, et un lifestyle de basse qualité, sinon pourquoi avoir besoin d’en prendre autant Si Tu eSt eN bOnNe SAntÉ ?

Laisse le il n’y connais rien le pauvre. Comme les gens qui te disent qu’ils boivent 3-4 fois par semaine de l’alcool et que c’est ok. Ou ceux qui te disent qu’il dorment que 5h par nuit et que c’est ok. Et ceux qui te disent qu’ils fument mais que c’est pas si nocif que ça. Etc etc ce sont des spécimens. Et malheureusement les lobby comme celui du vin te pondent des « recherches » scientifiques pour inciter les gens à consommer alors que c’est mauvais POINT.

Ok thank you for your answer !

THIS

I knew that red meat was bad but chicken also ?

I’m -5 (M34). Does anyone how long does would it take en average to reach a -15 cardiovascular age ? Can it be like in 6 month or more like 5 years of be super healthy 100% of the time ? How does it work ? (Data, experiment, etc)

Et niveau stress / anxiété au quotidien ?

The CEO of Winrar.

Tu as un sommeil de bonne qualité ?

It’s good ! You are defining your values as a healthy human and these values are GOOD. You had the courage to stand up for your values against your old unhealthy friends and that’s really something. A lot of people are very afraid to do this and they stay sometime years and years (even their whole life) without saying anything and live in opposition to their values, principles, and happiness just because they fear to confront people like that.

So that’s the it first step, and tbh you should tap yourself on the back. Be kind to yourself and proud because that’s a VICTORY man. Now that you’ve done that you are left with a void and that’s normal. It’s like when people stop cigaret, they have just new slots of time in the day that are empty, new habits to build etc. So the question is : what to do now with this time you have ?

You can meet new people of course. People that fits your standards. You can start knowing them, and be friends. They are the people you will probably know for many years and that will support you, be nice to you and be here for you when you need them the most. So be patient and choose them according to your values. From this new circle of friends you’ll meet their friends, family and network and maybe you will find you future wife, or your dream job thanks to them who know ?

Je me sens exactement pareil

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C’est Bardella. Vite écrase-le !

2/2

On the opposite you have mal-adaptative unhealthy behavior that are not helpful and will increase your suffering in the long time. Unhealthy behavior are usually avoidance & distraction tactics. They are pleasurable on the short term as they allow to not think about the problem (like drinking alcohol) but on the long term it doesn’t solve anything or, it usually even makes it even worse, because it affects your health, relationships, mood, energy levels, etc)

Learn to spot them :

• Drinking to forget a problem or distract yourself from it.
  
• Binge watching social media / tv show / movies (it’s called passive procrastination)
• Doing a productive task but not THE thing you should be absolutely doing. (It’s called active procrastination)
• Engaging in extreme, risky or problematic behaviors towards yourself or towards others.
• Compulsive behaviors like eating a lot, spending a lot of money, smoking a lot, drugs, alcohol, etc.
• Being hostile or aggressive to people around you (dramas, fights, arguments, insults etc)
• Denial, like pretending the problem doesn’t exists or doesn’t affect you (check cognitive distortion + defense mechanisms on Google)

Basically that is ANY behaviour you do to AVOID the problem that is making you stress or feel negative emotions. So even doing 4 hours of sport per day to avoid what is stressing you is considered an unhealthy mal-adaptative behavior because you use this activity to avoid something.

Also I want to point out that being on Netflix, for an afternoon or 24h-48h, binge watching TV shows and eating nice comforting food is totally OK. We are all humans and sometimes we just give up it’s normal. Just be conscious that it should be temporary and that you should think (at some point) about solving the problem that is stressing you, not just pretend it doesn’t exist.

Coping strategies are a fascinating thing to learn ! It takes some time, efforts and patience but progressively you will know how you brain, thoughts, emotions and behaviors work (and they are unique to you) and you’ll be well equipped to live a nice and healthy life whenever you experience bad feelings. As we all do !

1/2 :

Having healthy adaptative coping strategies is essentiel to live a good and qualitative life, even when emotions or stress are intense.

Common healthy coping strategies usually include 2 major ways :

1. Trying to solve the problem rationally (problem based coping) — Basically you create a plan of action to solve the problem that is stressing you
2. Trying to regulate the emotions you feel if you cannot solve the problem (emotion based coping).

That’s the two big branches of how you should consider any problem or stress you experience first hand. Check problem base coping methods or emotion based coping on Google and you’ll find amazing books, methods, worksheets, articles and scientific studies.

Then if you want to regulate your emotions and stress in the short term (immediately) or longer term (like stress hygiene / emotions hygiene, changing your behaviors, beliefs, impulses, thoughts, etc) you can do it by practicing healthy activities and learning new behaviors.

Engaging in healthy adaptative coping will reduce (at the very least) the intensity of your emotions when you experience them (which is already amazing) but also enhance your quality of life, your self esteem, confidence, your optimism and even allow you to solve some problems that stress you forever.

Here are just a few examples :

• Regulating your stress with exercice : HIIT are very effective on a very short term but it can also be running, resistance training or simply a nice walk. Practicing regular exercise is very good to prevent stress as it regulates your hormones, mood, energy levels, sleep etc. Also exercice produces a happiness cocktail of chemicals and hormones (dopamine, endorphins, serotonin) in your body as well as lowering your arousal state (stress) and making you more relaxed and happy. It’s an hack. It’s free and effective instantly.

• Meditation practice like « Eye of The Hurricane » meditation.

• Learning Mindfulness. There is many exercises and books about the philosophy behind it. This practice allows you to be conscious of what is inside you and what is outside you. Without judgment. You can be mindful of your thoughts as they pass and with enough practice be able to label them to understand more deeply how your thinking systeme function. You can also be mindful during activities like cooking, walking or drinking a glass water, by focusing your attention on every steps and stimulus of what you are doing. It’s very relaxing and make you see life in a more contemplative and beautiful way because you start focusing on laser details of everyday life stuff. Doing that allows you to think about something else that yourself but also training your thoughts to be non judgmental and less worried.

• Deep breathing practices like Box Breathing or Diaphragmatic Breathing (but there is many others) . Breathing is a hack as well. A slower exhalation rate allows you to slow down your entire body, hormones and parasympathetic nervous system. You blood gets more oxygenated, your emotions stabilise, your thoughts gets less noisy, more calm, like a nice river flowing in your mind. 3 minute of deep breathing when you stress is good enough at the beggining. Inhale 4 seconds, hold on 4 seconds, exhale 4 seconds and hold your breath again 4 seconds. Repeat for 3 minutes minimum. It’s called Box Breathing and many people use this. Navy Seals for example use it before going on high intensity / risky operation.

• A very helpful aspect of coping well and healthily is also your social support circle. Friends, family and people you care about, and that care in a healthy way about you. Sharing what you feel, asking for help, advices, hugging someone you love or crying over their shoulder is very important, healthy and useful in many ways (having support, hearing different perspectives, laughing, talking about something else etc).

• Journaling : writing your thoughts and expressing what you feel on paper is a very important component to clear your thoughts and emotions and clarify what you think about a situation, about you or about others. It’s like brain hygiene, like brushing your teeth or taking a shower. You can write whenever you feel stressed either on your phone or paper (paper is the best as the brain circuits we use for writing, with our hands are better and more deeply connected). Or you can write before you go to bed to unwind.

• You can (and should) practice activities that you love and find relaxing or stimulating like either a sport, practicing music, painting, or simply visit art galleries, exhibitions, having a coffe outside and read a nice book with the sun warming your face or the sound of rain (both are good). Being happy with your own company without is important.

• You can also check amazing psychological topics like : automatic negative thoughts, cognitive dissonances, auto sabotage and défense mechanism to understand how your brain works and how it can produce negative thoughts, beliefs and emotions when you are triggered by something or someone. Check CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) and how to reframe your thoughts.

• Learning what are « emotions » is also an amazing topic you can learn that I highly recommend. What we feel, emotions, is actually very useful but sometime the brain doesn’t align with what we want (instead he believe he should protect you at all cost from harm, and dangers. Basically he wants to survive). Understanding how emotions works with allow you to have more tools to describe what you feel inside, and be able to regulate more efficiently stress.

• Always be kind to yourself. Our thoughts are usually below our conscious levels (we don’t always noticed them) and we don’t realise it often but sometime the « little voice » in our head can be very negative about ourselves, very judgmental, harsh and tyrannical. You must keep this voice on a healthy level and remember to be kind with yourself. Talk to yourself as you would talk to a friend or someone you love and appreciate.

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