People are finding ways to make the steam controls work, though I will admit since I had it both before and after the patch, I did get a bit frustrated with things changing on me and having to relearn controls and workarounds. I wish the tutorials included better information for deck controls, spent a couple of days figuring out equipping magic spells, though I'm happy with how it ended up working. Being here in the subreddit helps prevent some of that frustration since others have been sharing their information as they learn it.

That said, I love this game, totally worth it. It's adorable, cozy, and I can choose how much effort I want to in any particular thing. I held off going to the elven territory for a whole year, just because I wanted to build up my base farm.

Dude, I had more empathy for my 3 year old brother as a 6 year old, protecting him from our parents, than your daughter might have in her whole entire life at this point.

You’ll “have a talk” and dole out some random punishment? What absolute nonsense. That girl needs therapy and so do you if this is how you view being a parent.

If he had to register in the US, he should be on the national sex offender’s registry (NSOR), which is completely free to search. Address information might not be completely up to date since the data is provided by local authorities, and timing of updating varies, but his name at least should be found.

Yeah, what you are saying she would do in arguments makes complete sense with the path of that negative reinforcement of their developed bias.

Past experiences can help inform us, but it's been my experience that people with these very 'black/white'-'us/them' ways of thinking distort that by gathering the negative experiences that reinforce the pattern of thinking and discard the exceptions as anomalies with no cause. Collectively every slight or negative thing that happens to or around them extends the potential list of offenses that when you encounter them with that person, put you further and further in their minds into the category of that 'other' that they don't like, be it based on gender, race, religion, etc..

Instead of the disagreement being something to be discussed and worked through with you as an individual within the relationship between you and them, you become the problem to them in their view. The thing is that there is no solution to this that is conducive to an intimate, respectful relationship (though I hold space for the argument that maybe there is). People who have come back from that way of thinking have mostly only done so through experiencing the exact opposite of the behavior they expect out of others repeatedly over time or some great big life altering singular event. It's one thing to be in relationship with someone who has some gendered views they came across culturally that can consider challenging those, it's another entirely to try to be in a relationship with someone that thinks that 50% of men shouldn't exist.

Over time it will bleed into her relationships, all of them, unless she keeps them at certain lengths away. I'm 39F, and my father is a misogynist. I was 'excluded' from the general sentiments about women being inferior, as was my stepmother to some extent, but that sense of "I'm the special one they don't mean those things about" wears off.

This happens over time because when they start getting mad and frustrated with you, you become part of the group they hate based on your gender and suddenly your faced with the brunt of their disappointment that you are just another man/woman whose behavior is reminding them about what they hate and their unresolved trauma that they won't either acknowledge or address. It seems innocent at first and maybe you get an apology, but the apologies become few and far between and the intentional note excluding you from their gendered sentiments becomes less and less, until there's no line to be had anymore. They become bolder with their expressions the longer you are around putting up with them, not challenging them, and with nothing to make them face their traumas, they just keep going and reinforcing those beliefs over time to themselves. If you aren't holding boundaries for yourself, it just wears you down.

She didn't want conversations about societal issues and how the system hurts both men and women, she just wanted you to agree with her. And until she addresses those demons, she's never going to want an open and engaging conversation. I think you are incredibly mature to have ended the relationship, and in the way you broke down the issue at hand into those nuanced pieces, allowing for the acknowledgement that she has a past that is creating these views, but not being responsible and accountable to herself to challenge them and not let them create this kind of dynamic within her most intimate relationships.

YWNBTA. My father also has cancer, and we're not exactly sure on the window of time he has left, I found out a little while ago that he had been popping positive for cancer markers in his blood work for many years. It's actually a part of why I've buckled down on my husband and I losing weight (my husband got diagnosed with diabetes about a year ago) and making all the regular checkups we've never done and just moving more in general to a healthier lifestyle.

I understand your husbands concerns regarding paying for college, but as far as I know you don't pay that all up front (though I'm not sure where you're located at). If you take any loans, you do so with consideration of what that repayment structure looks like.

All around it's a callous and cold comment. How your father allocates his assets and when he passes should have no bearing on your plans for your future, and you are not wrong for expressing the feelings of what those comments did to you emotionally. Stress to him that your timeline is independent of anything that happens with your father. If your dad passes and leaves with you something to help you pursue your dream, amazing, and if all of his money went to trying to stay around his loved ones longer, that is wonderful for whatever time with him you get out of it.

I see so many couples who are not on the same page when it comes to money and their incredibly stressful and unhappy relationships, many that led to divorce. I would urge you to probe his sentiments and feelings about finances, how he would feel if you get through medical school and make more money than him, because I have concerns that he may harbor resentment against you as you move down this path, and possible entitlement to things that aren't his.

Same - my girl's thrown her a few times out of frustration and it's still going along. I do recommend reading up on how to force stop applications (the tablet doesn't do this the usual way of the adult fire tablets, so unless you restart frequently you'll need to learn it) and archiving/removing applications if you let your kids pick their own apps from the kids store.

I have an autistic child, and I'm at a hard point in my time at work where there's a lot of projects due all at once. I'm stressed, but managing, and everything about our routine day to day is still normal and functioning as it would be, we snuggle in the morning, we go to school, we snack in the afternoon during the transition to therapy, we do activities in the evening, we wash up in the evening and lights out at 8:30.

My child started having 1-2 meltdowns every day since the start of my projects. I'll put down money it stops when I turn the project in. Even though I've kept every part of her routine the same, she's picked up on my anxiety and internal stress and is reflecting it, almost for me in a weird way.

Kids pick up on this, I had a friend in high school whose parents divorced after she graduated, they only stayed together for her and she already had depression and anxiety before that, and then had crippling guilt that she kept two unhappy people together after. Better to divorce and put together a stable home for them to come to where you can have your own slice of happiness.

I do suspect some infidelity, but that's just a feeling. Either way, if he's not going to counseling with you, everything he's doing screams 'checked out', and indifference is really where the relationship is dead.

I have a best friend, and I don't personally like her spouse. When things came up, I would 'be on her side' and honestly, I bashed him, especially when she was considering divorce. But when I realized that I made her so uncomfortable with that, and she decided she was staying, I knew that what I had been doing up to that point was wrong. I apologized to her, I told her I'd support her decisions, and just be there to be a listening ear, we even ask each other 'do you need an ear or solutions?' when one or the other is having a hard time. I learned how to allow her to talk and make space for her, rather than dictating what she needed to do.

Your sister hasn't learned that, and doubles down hard instead, rallying people that should be YOUR support into pulling that support from you. She's being manipulative by doing that - whether or not she's doing it with good intentions (that's an important distinction, because we don't want to describe people as being manipulative if there is not a malicious intent involved, especially when the intent seems good even. That doesn't change that someone is trying to manipulate another person into doing or believing something in a specific way). This is family without boundaries, and I commend you for holding your ground, when you likely grew up having no boundaries and being taught that you shouldn't have them with family.

NTA.

SO and I had a talk a long time ago and put to be the idea that we needed to wake or go to bed together, and work together on getting each other time to rest on the weekends now that we have a child. I normally fall asleep before him, I give him a kiss/hug goodnight and I'm normally up before him too.

I feel borderline violent when my husband tries to wake me when I'm trying to sleep in a little while longer when my child gets up during sleep regression-type stuff and this post infuriates me. If the man doesn't get his @$$ up to help with the child when the kids are sick/sleep regression/etc., then they DON'T get to wake you up when you can be getting more sleep after handling that.

So I was told after my father got his ancestry results that his dad (my grandfather) wasn't his bio-dad, and he solidified at the time the oft-joked about possibility that I wasn't his as being a very real thing. I still have a lot of heartburn about realizing how that impacted me so much growing up, and I wish he had done a test back then. Like, I realized the daddy-issues were so deep that I'm legally changing my name, even though I still love my father and he was confirmed as my biological father (though it also turned out after my test that my mother's father wasn't her bio-dad either. We could probably provide enough content for a season of Maury over here).

All this to say, I'm so sorry this was how you found out, and I think your son has a lot of complicated feelings, just like you, and was probably not telling you at the time because he wanted those results and was holding out hope that it wasn't real. I hope you do get a chance to have a long conversation with him, and I deeply hope that you are both able to be in each other's lives still.

!updateme

I hear a lot of resentment in your story, probably built up for a lot of years. Did you all ever go to family therapy at all?
You said they 'Let Jen use your room'. Does that mean she isn't provided her own room? Is it actually a case where the other child was given some type of full blown permission, or is it something where, if everyone had taken a couple of hours to calm down and come back, could have been discussed and punishment for Jen could have happened because permission wasn't given?

You didn't deserve to have your privacy violated, but your parents, once finding out, didn't go out telling everyone and everything. They wanted a conversation with you, directly. I think you are the asshole, if this situation is only viewed through this instance without a lot of other mitigating factors or context as to showing a continuous invasion of privacy.

Hobbies/collecting does not equal immaturity. Using those hobbies as terrible coping mechanisms to disassociate or otherwise not deal with problems in your life, that's hitting unhealthy and immature. If his issue the collecting itself, humans have done that for all of time, get a new boyfriend. If his issue is that it's preventing you guys from having serious conversations about the relationship, or ways you are escaping reality or other problems in your life, take some time to self-reflect and seek therapy.
I collect beads and rocks and I'm about to hit the age of being protected under anti-discrimination laws for employment.

Happy sweet 16th! I did not have many birthday celebrations growing up, we didn't have a lot of money so even when we did they were small scale at best, and even got to the point where I couldn't feel joy at milestones like my high school or college graduation. I'm trying hard to not let that be the way for my child, and I'm working more on celebrating my chosen family more.

I hope you don't get to that point, I hope you choose to feel your emotions, and find those little ways of celebrating yourself, until you can be independent enough to celebrate in big ways.

I'm so sorry. I wondered if it was any better when the family drama is out in the open, because Ancestry turned our family tree sideways, and apparently lots of rumors were going around for forever (including that I wasn't my fathers), and I always felt like if someone had been just honest at some gd point that people would have been a lot better off, and I see now that it just sucks all around when people do utterly crappy cheating things, whether in public or private.
I'm so glad it led to you finding someone you want to spend your life with though!

I love it. We bought a house in 2016 after getting married, and we now have a 4yo. The level of childcare has been great, there’s a lot of options for pre k programs. Our little one is a big outdoor child, and we can get to about 10 different parks in under 10 minutes from our house, and the trails are awesome. Easy driving to summer attractions, we love the library, and the seasonal festivals. If we do ever move, it’s likely only because of moving to another state entirely for work.

I really had my heart set on two. He originally wanted two, then also changed his mind after we had our first.

We went through the thought process of how a second would work, the finances, the likelihood that a second would also be neurodivergent, since we already knew my husband was ADHD, then I got diagnosed with ADHD and our LO autism. The kind of emotional and physical resources needed for a second felt like we would short both kids in some way. I think it’s for the best, but it hurt giving that up and then selling and giving her things away.

NTA - tell her you're making an appointment to get her cognitive abilities checked since she can't remember your answer that you've repeated multiple times already. Have it in text, in writing, everything - 'you are not welcome to your ex's estate while it is being managed and sold.'

Let her know you will be dropping assistance if she's unable to find a way to remember this and she's free to find it through one of her other children.

I know people want to say it's fake, but I unfortunately know a gal IN the finance world, and jeeeeeebus it is an entire different ruleset unto itself between the SOs of the finance bros and the in-finance gals. No thank you.

Besides that, I'm not sure how much OP's read up on styling, etc., but that's a whole delicate artistic system unto itself, influenced by every facet of your external being and style preferences. What works for me won't work for you, and trying too hard is immediately noticed and cringe kind of thing - and I've spent gawd knows how many hours trying to learn for myself with the only intent being on myself, I'm not trained to take that and apply it to a whole different human being.

The funny thing is that at first it was totally believable for me because I've met some absolutely self-absorbed batcaca people in my life, but right at the point they started talking about having to get attorney's to review what they're posting on reddit, was when I felt it jumped the shark. Attorneys charge money for that kind of stuff, and I'm sure most people wouldn't want in any way to be paying for that to spill tea on the internet to random strangers.

oooh, hostas!

I'm a mom and I would be nothing but happy if my child found something she wanted and committed to do, I hope that for her one day (she's only 4 now, so I simply support her in catching bugs, lol).

You owe only yourself for now. You can't take care of a grown woman forever, and it will destroy your soul to do so to someone who clearly does not appreciate you, if her entire viewpoint about you developing in life is "What about ME?"

Internet mom says "I'm so proud of you, I hope your time there is amazing, and come and talk here anytime you need to"

Seeing as she's 18, and coming from a fractured family myself, at that age I was pretty desperate for that family feeling too and joined a rather intense church for a few years before realizing what a mistake that was, and not unpacking why I did it for years after.

It's fair for her to feel that way, and it's fair for you to feel the way you do. It was not fair for your grandparents to police your 'tone' in written messages. Unless you went off on a slur-tangent, which it sounds like you didn't, 'no' and 'I will not be changing my mind about this' aren't being cruel.

NTA

Yeah, this is where I'd have the convo with your mom. If it's an issue where you think your mom gave that permission without understanding the depth of the specialized interest and didn't put her own parameters/boundaries around access, you now have a chance to communicate that to your mom, make sure your mom is fine with the amount that being drawn and make it clear to your mom that if she has any limits to this gift, they need to be stated sooner rather than later.
My child is autistic and she's got collectively 7 grandparents (both my and SO's parents divorced and most got remarried) so the child wants for nothing and it's a struggle to get her to understand managing resources, so I completely get it that you used something she has a high interest in as a way of practicing that.