Take care of yourself the best you can and don't worry about the rest. Just enjoy yourself.

Just know that pistol rounds are highly ineffective against body armor. Rifle rounds however

That doesn't mean she has to find your joke funny. Imagine thinking you're superior because you draw precise lines on graph paper instead of squiggly ones. Architects make unnecessary buildings because engineering is so easy to do they had to make it more spicy. Engineering is just lame architecture.

That seems super secure 😂

When I'd argue with my parents about gay people and I'd make a good point they'd always say "well I don't want to see two gay people making out in public" and for a while I never had a response. But one day I said back "You know, I never thought about it before but I don't want to see any couple making out in public, gay or straight." It never mattered what I said though, they'll never change.

You need to talk to a lawyer, this isn't something you should just let go. Fuck those guys scamming people out of their money, go for their throats.

TIL straight women can control the growth of their hair. Fascinating creatures they are.

They're morons, they want to have a nice lawn but they also want to have the shortest grass every single day so they end up burning up all their grass because it's so short. Every time my dad complains about his brown grass I tell him it's because he chops it to nothing and every time he looks at me like I'm speaking Chinese. It's amazing how they don't understand even basic things.

They're probably afraid if the type dick it'll auto complete to their daily search of "dick in and around my mouth"

SpaceX told him to go pound sand years ago, Elon isn't really allowed to hang out there anymore. SpaceX has government contracts and he'll lose those fast if he acts like an idiot and the SpaceX shareholders aren't morons like the Tesla ones.

This woman deserves a nobel prize

Shut up dumbass, no they didn't.

They don't smell as strong as bud but they absolutely do have a smell. If the landlord has never smoked before then that smell is probably super strong to them. Obviously the landlord smelled something and they were right about it. OP is being a douche.

I hope they keep him on trial on forever, put Trump through the wringer until he croaks. Since he can't be high at court he definitely binges when he gets out, it shouldn't take too much longer.

forgot to mention not to feed it after midnight

I don't know why but I love when people say stupid shit like this. Like somehow food gains more calories at night time 😂

You may find it shocking to know that he's likely too smart to be a cop. Although he didn't show himself tying his shoes so they do appreciate that.

Turns out woken can be just as shallow as men.

Full cap, no mask

"I heard California legalized pedophiles!!" -guy who lives on the East Coast.

Yeah, no matter what pose I did it wouldn't hide the fact that my pants would be full of poop.

Woody isn't a terrible person though

Putin is kissing his ass because he needs help with his war, that's the only reason he's acting this way. He had to stop by for a play date to get more weapons, Kim Jung Un ate it up the whole time. I'm sure they banged too but I'm also sure Putin wasn't putting his heart into it.

It means you're a submissive homosexual, if you let another guy in front of you on the interstate you may as well pull over on the side of the road and spread your unwashed butt cheeks for him.

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Roses are red.

So are commies.

Humanity is fucked.

I like salami.