That's a touching story. Am glad you are well after your attempt and because things are going well for you. Choosing life is always the best option and as tij have seen you have found new friends that love and care about you. Am happy your life is getting better after what you went through.

Am sure most people with suicidal thoughts and intentions who feel determined to end it will make decisions without a lot of thought. They feel the consequences or results of their actions will not affect them having died when the results manifest. So you are not alone in this type of situation.

My advice to you is no matter how bad the suicidal thoughts haunt your mind please makes the right choices those that guarantee a less straining life tomorrow because such results can have a terrible impact on you. I dont know the reason for your suicidal intentions but all I will say is no matter what stick to the side of life because it more meaningful and worthwhile than the nothingness of death.

Sorry for the late reply.

Reading what you are going through because of your brother's actions hurts at heart and deeply to be honest. The mental and physical effects are really having an impact on you and its not a normal thing to go through. Am sorry again you dont need to be such an environment, surrounded all sorts of suffering. Coming to your brother no matter what he has done it not good for you to want him to die. During the teen years, many people choose paths that are not the right ones in the effort of trying to fill their curiosity, trying to impress their friends or wanting to just fit in. I don't know what lead your brother to choose the path his currently on but I know for one thing he can change. With the many things he has been involved he will in time see that his actions are not leading towards any good but just pointless endeavours.

Despite all you have gone through am happy that you haven't chosen to follow emulate him. That takes a lot of courage and mental strength. Keep being strong as you endure this troublesome times because no matter how bad something gets it eventually has its end. Please keep safe and if you ever need to interact, vent and anything else we are here for you.

Sorry for the late reply.

Am happy it did. You life will get better and I pray you are calm throughout the week. The fear of the future is within us all but we should never let it affect the happiness we are supposed to have now. Never let the thoughts of the future bind you like a chain with its tight grip of negativity. Focus on today and not tomorrow because its today's actions that determine our tomorrow.

Remember if you feel bad and out of breath because of anxiety feel free to reach out to anyone you are comfortable with here and am sure they will help out in the best way they can.

Dont mention it friend am glad I helped out. Its good to get things off your chest because then you get to realize that you are not the only one going through these things. Importantly you get to engage with others who have gone through such experiences and overcome them. When it comes to panic attacks, please cool your heart down and dont overthink of failing to achieve what you intend to. Occupy your mind with benefits of what you will do and let it overcome those negatives. The negatives are never to be focused on and so long as the voice of positivity is the loudest you are good. You are the best you that you can ever be and never let any person make you feel otherwise. You are meant to enjoy and succeed in this life. You will get through this and never listen to that voice within telling you to end yourself because it's wrong and will hinder the best of things yet to be experienced in your life.

Sometimes what we go through in life makes us dread our coming birthdays because we usually review what we did or achieved in the year that we currently are in. You are a teenager and believe me it's one of the most difficult times to deal with. You have school to worry about, friends who accept you, pleasing your parents personal outlook and many other things. But despite all these pressures I would like to tell you that no matter how hard things may be you can manage to endure and believe me it gets better eventually. Remember this is your life and no one has the keys to unlock it unless you give them permission or access. Never let anyone convince you into thinking you are other than amazing because you are, that you are useless because you are not and that you are a failure because that's a thousands times away from the truth. Never let the words of fools think you are nothing because you are something and what really matters is what you think of yourself. Most importantly dont little to the inner voice that keeps telling you that suicide is the best option because it's not and you my friend deserve to live. What matters the most in this world is the postiveness you occupy your mind with and it's from this that we find real happiness we can hold on to.

Sorry for the late reply and please dont let suicidal thoughts win because we want you alive. The world is better, brighter, warmer and happier with you in it.

From your words I know you are going through a lot and that makes me feel hurt in the heart. No one deserves to go through such problems. I don't know what I can say to help except from the positive words are have within me and that I believe. You are experiencing the worst time in your life but I will advise you dont go ahead with your plans. Dont give up no matter what you go through because things change in life when we least expect. Keep the fires of hope burning within you so that they can propel you towards a solution that brings goodness back in your life. Am positive you will not be homeless, just gather up the courage and optimism. Try suching for some work that can help you have a roof over your head even if its nothing fancy. I know things are at the worst but life is never an easy ride and I believe you are strong enough to endure this situation and push forward towards happiness in your life.