John Oliver without the glasses
Be sure to bring your monocle.
You don't have to wear it, but you have to have it on you.
I don't make the rules.
Shopping mall skate park was my dream as a kid in the early 90's.
Larry David has been 77 since at least the 80's
Better hurry, Diana Ross and Cindy Birdsong are the only Supremes left.
Technically I believe it's King Biden now, thank you very much.
What's the moderate version of "anyone I don't like is a pedophile demon in the employ of the literal Christian devil."
Holy shit this is awesome
Any man who can push a turd through a pair of wranglers with nothing more than the raw, god-given power of his own mighty asshole is a true king among us.
I've been commenting on the internet for decades and I don't know shit about fuck.
I don't think you're gonna get the appreciation you deserve for this terrible joke, but you have mine.
Your cat's just a jackass
Turns out pianos become surprisingly affordable if you're willing to move them
Yeah, we have like... a bunch.
They're just mildly dickish protecting nests. You'll be ok.
Edit: I hope.
We should be so lucky
Nah nah.
See, Christie is going to ultimately pour that bag of M & M's in to a second, larger bag of M &M's which is...himself
Christian Honk is a main character in my clown-themed 50 Shades of Gray fanfic
Lost me at capitalized QMOBILE
Look, any alien species advanced enough to develop space travel and dumb enough to listen to me sounds like they'd be easy to conquer
Why would he have a problem with that?
MurderedByWords