It’s not an AH move but it’s likely not going to end well - even if you do get married under threat of break up. He hasn’t given you a reason that he hasn’t proposed - and you can’t force him to. Instead I would do some serious self reflection and ask yourself why you want to get married and why you want to get married ASAP. Is it for legal protection? That’s a good reason but you’re willing to go in on a house together without it. Is it because you feel like you should be doing it at this stage in life / relationship possibly due to peers or religious beliefs? Are you concerned about fertility or being single at XYZ age? Is your boyfriend truly who you want to spend the rest of your life with? If so - why?

Once you feel like you can solidly define why this is so important to you I would tell your boyfriend all the reasons you want to get married to him and why it’s important to you that the proposal happens soon. This may help him articulate what he’s hung up on so that you guys can work together on a solution. It might not. If not - I would put the brakes on moving the relationship forward. Personally I wouldn’t buy a house together. If you’re living together I’d even put moving out on the table as at least a discussion point. Not as a punishment but as a way to start unwinding the steps you skipped over. It will give you space to evaluate your relationship without the current comfort levels (aka why get married if we already live together in a house that we bought).

Disagree - part of being in the bridal party is arranging all the other stuff. I’ve been a MOH twice and hands down the worse part of that role was corralling flaky people for the bachelorette party. But it comes with the territory. OP is not even in the bridal party let alone the MOH. None of this is her problem. NTA.

If it’s for an excursion just have everyone buy their own tickets? Or at least buy for just your family so you’re out of the drama. Those that want a free pass will find out whatever company is running the excursion does in fact charge for children.

NTA.

Yes. I’m not a confrontational personal but I would call out some man if a woman I didn’t even know told me he was creeping her out.

I called it that for the first six months after the studio opened near my house. Not sure why it just set in my brain like that and took forever for me to adjust.

This is so real. Last business trip I took was on a two seat per side puddle jumper. I was so relieved to see the smallest (under 5 ft and probably under 100 lbs) adult man. I thought I’d have so much space. Somehow this man’s legs spent the entire flight on my side. Like past the line where the arm rest is firmly into my seat. Like how do you even manage that??

NTA. You don’t need to explain your situation to anyone - all you need to say is “we are unable to do that, best of luck.”

NTA. When I was a teenager I worked at a daycare that was onsite at the elementary school and run by the school district. It was by far the cheapest child care option - like $2 per kid per hour. In the summers we went on weekly field trips to the local community pool. The kids were bussed over. One kid was a wild child and sounds much like OP’s kid. The bus driver gave him many warnings to sit down on her bus. Eventually she said if he acted out again he wouldn’t be allowed on her bus because it was a safety concern. His mom was told every time he misbehaved and the final ultimatum. He acted up the next week and was kicked out of the entire program - not just on pool days. The mother was shocked and then dismayed because her childcare was suddenly no longer available and she would have to pay significantly more anywhere else. I would urge OP to remind his wife how beneficial it is that grandma watches their child and that she’s well within her rights to enforce ultimatums to the children in her care.

This is solid advice depending on the person. I got a general business degree and went into accounts payable because that’s the role I was able to get after college. I did not love it so I batted around a few different finance type functions until I found FP&A and I love it! I love modeling and scenarios and working with business partners to report out on results. However I reported once to a woman who came from accounting to FP&A and absolutely hated it - she liked the black / white and right / wrong answer environment of accounting and was really stressed about the ambiguity of FP&A. Some people want to exist within rules and structure and accounting is great for that.

I will say my dad leveraged himself out of poverty with an accounting degree and made it to CFO in his career. As he has always said about accounting “business will always need someone to keep the books”. So it is an excellent broad business degree.

I wouldn’t want to personally be house poor. I was fortunate to buy in 2015 and refinance when rates were low. I have a ton of flexibility in my life because my low mortgage is my only debt. Unexpected bill? That’s fine - I can usually absorb within a month or two without dipping into savings or investments. Bad work situation? I can leave and live off my savings for a long time. If I had a huge mortgage little expenses could become big problems. I could get shackled to an awful job because I have to make the payments.

But are there situations where it’s worth it? I think absolutely! If you need to be house poor to live in a safe area, or get your kids into the best school or it’s what you want to prioritize in your life. I have friends that live on a lake and the house isn’t grand or anything but they built a gorgeous two story dock complete with a dining area and grill, hammocks and other such things. Would I miss a fancy gym membership if I could do yoga at sunrise on the dock? Probably not. Would I miss going out to eat if I could grill with a lake backdrop? Probably not. Ubers bars and drinks? Nah just buy a case and invite friends over.

Same. I go to the morning class before work regardless of 2G or 3G. Personally I prefer the 3G format - I feel like class goes by faster by changing the stations up frequently.

I’ve never noticed a schedule change the night before but I did have a coach ask the morning of if we wanted to run it as a 2 or 3 and the crowd voted 3, probably to maximize personal space.

A tablecloth always transforms the space for me. I have a couple and don’t usually bring them out so it just feels different. Also using serving dishes. I have a couple long white plates that work well for sliced meats or charcuterie and makes the meal feel special.

Also - eating outside is a nice change. If you have a patio with string lights you could get the feel of sitting outside at a restaurant.

Yeah I’m betting it’s really easy for the ex to outdo the man who doesn’t even think his wife deserves a Mother’s Day celebration with a single vase of flowers.

YTA.

NTA. What does it matter who “pays” if it comes from the same account? My parents have joint finances and my dad always “paid” at the restaurant but then immediately handed the receipts to my mom since she does the book keeping. But the fact he paid was more of a function of the fact the server always handed him the check, not that he felt the need to show off his ability to pick up the check.

My boyfriend paid for the first few dates and now we swap off - I’ll pay for us to do things I want to do, he pays for us to do things he wants to do. I buy more groceries and he buys more take out. It works for us.

My boyfriend moving in with a completely different palate. I can cook well for myself but struggle adjusting for other preferences.

I came here to say this.

Awesome thank you! I felt like it would be open early but couldn’t find confirmation anywhere then I was worried that it didn’t when no one answered the phone at 7am.

Ohh I get banana and chocolate I’ll try adding peanut butter next time.

YTA. I’m glad women are matching energies in 2024. She told you exactly what she wanted and you got her flowers. It sounds like she has 5 years of pent up frustration for only getting construction paper cards and macaroni necklaces.

I’m glad she saved her money that used to go to taking you to expensive dinners or a nice bottle of whiskey and bought you exactly what you bought her. In my city an expensive dinner out can easily hit $300 if you get apps, entrees, drinks and dessert. So can a nice bottle of whiskey. Meanwhile you wanted to spend what? A total of $50 on some grocery store (assuming) flowers and the cheapest possible meal out - brunch.

She is the mother of your child and you should absolutely celebrate her and show her how much you appreciate her. Now if you can’t afford the $300 balance on her haircut that’s one thing but it sounds like you didn’t pay it because you didn’t like the gift she chose.

Back out and take the original offer of money back. Buy a mid range gift from their registry if you still go to the wedding.

That seems a little… old? I flew across the country, including layovers, alone at 16. And my mother was a bit protective and I know it’s a lot older than some people’s first solo trip. And it was before smartphones. Not to wave my cane at the youngins but I also started babysitting alone at 13 - other adults trusted me enough to watch their kids at 13.

Ohhh that’s an excellent idea thanks!

It’s from a local BBQ shop so assume it was also made fresh (and that’s why it tastes better).

Thanks for the input, 4 days is a little shorter than I assumed so I’ll have to hurry!