Thank you for sharing,

Yep, really compelling disclaimers eyeroll She really thinks she's sneaky.

It's especially disgusting that the part which cannot be read states:

"Heather Baker is a writer and author with subjects ranging from women's health to homebirthing. She was trained as a Traditional Midwife, doula and birth educator. She has attended births since 1996."

NOTE: None of the above is legible, I had to highlight the text to read. She never states she "is" a midwife, doula, or birth educator... just that "was trained" which literally means nothing. I trained in dodgeball in middle school PE.

Then it's followed by a blurb about how a traditional midwife/lay midwife is "recognized as a healthcare provider who specializes in reproductive and neonatal health. They provide basic health care, support, and advice to women before, during, and after pregnancy and childbirth. They do not practice medical care."

So this is meant to read as if Heather Baker is "recognized as..." . Incredibly misleading, It's as if I talked about training as a dodgeball sniper in a paragraph of white text on white background followed by, "Olympic gold medalists make up the top .002% of athletic competitors, and none has ever won seventy two gold medals in a single decade."

And the last sentance is another obvious attempt to cover her criminal tracks. What on Earth is the difference between Healthcare and Medical care??? FFS

Honestly, this reminds me of the Trump disclaimer on his Financial Documents that basically said (after the standard legal stuff "I attest by signing this form that the informatiom provided is materially correct and acknowledge if it isn't that is a crime.)", "We gave these numbers to the person who prepared the documents, but we aren't responsible if they are not correct. If you want them to be the right numbers you need to figure it out own your own."

That didn't cut it in court and it won't for Heather either. "My services aren't medical care." Is meaningless when they are.

I'm fairly certain that 99.9% of the friends and acquaintances of child molesters (especially those who haven't been convicted) have no idea the person they are associating with molests children.

As a society, we do ourselves a disservice by calling child molesters and abusers monsters. We think they're an extraordinary and exceptional evil, when in reality they normally blend seamlessly into the community.

The sister of a Giulia Cecchettin (murdered by her ex boyfriend in Itality) said this and it has stuck with me since (Filippo is the exbf's/murderer's name):

"Filippo is often described as a monster, but he's not a monster," Elena told Italian media. "A monster is an exception, a person who's outside society, a person for whom society doesn't need to take responsibility.

"Monsters are healthy sons of the patriarchy and rape culture," she added.

Seems possibly purposeful given that the illegible section contains her "qualifications"/"education". I highlighted the text to read it.

Your mom isn't "just" self-centered and narcissistic, she is emotionally abusive.

She PURPOSELY and INTENTIONALLY causes you emotional harm and she has since you were a child. I'm so sorry OP, you deserve kindness and respect, especially from your own mother.

There's a good book a lot of redditors recommend for people in your situation, I'm not sure of the exact title but it's something like "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents"

I hope you will consider going low or no contact with your mother, and putting her on an information diet. Your dad and brothers are also willing for you to suffer, because it doesn't harm them and they don't want to "rock the boat". You deserve so much better from all of them.

"I understand that the room we have available doesn't meet your needs and it's become apparent that our relationship would be unable to survive us living together. I meant what I said about staying here no longer being one of your options. This decision is final, so I won't be entertaining any more arguments about it. I am happy to help you look for other places/schedule movers (only use this sentance if you are), but I will hang up on any calls/ignore any texts if you bring up moving in again. I love you and care about you and I hope you're able to let this go, so we can have a relationship."

Do NOT get sucked in to arguing/justifying/defending or explaining this boundary with her. You are simply laying down a rule she must follow if she wishes to interact with you. I would send the boundary by text and when she responds if it's anything other than, I can do that (which it is likely to be) simply send back, "My boundary isn't negotiable and I am not going to argue with you about it. I'm going to end the call now/stop texting and I'll reach out tomorrow after you've had some time to consider if you can do this." and then DO end the call/mute her texts.

The most important part of setting a boundary is that you have to consistently enact the consequence 100% of the time when she violates it, no matter her "reasons". Anything less than 100% of the time just teaches her that if she is persistent enough she will get away with it.

So every single time she violates it (no matter how small) remind her of the boundary/consequence and then immediately enact the consequence. "I told you that I will not discuss that any longer. I am going to hang up now and won't answer and calls or texts until tomorrow. Then DO. Set her notifications to mute and don't even read what she sends until you're ready to speak to her again.

This is so true, also they want to think of themselves as "good people" while still being selfish jerks. By deciding that OP is lying, then they can feel vindicated about not responding, instead of having to accept their true nature.

I'm just here to say it's pronounced Mel-od-dick with emphasis on the dick (in case you weren't being sarcastic).

I'm so proud of you for recognizing how far in your journey you've already come. Especially at a rave, people who offer/give assistance benefit from it as well. It's one of the ways we feel more a part of the community, and raving is a communal experience. We are there not just for the amazing music and pretty lights, but to share it with others and to bask in the acceptance.

I hope you know that you are a welcome and positive addition to that community. I hope you continue on your journey and I wish you all the best.

I hope you encounter his energies often as you continue on this plane without him

I hope you will consider that the person who checked in on you did so because they cared and not because they thought badly of you or thought you were doing anything "wrong".

At my last rave my husband and I stopped to repack our bags and saw two girls coming down the paved incline loose their balance (they were under the influence) and belly flop on to the pavement.

We rushed over to assist them, helped them pick up their belongings and clean/bandage their scrapes. They thanked us and we all went our merry ways.

They were happy to be helped and helping/being prepared to help made us feel good too. At no point did we judge or think badly of them and I hope they had a great time.

I'm just sharing all this because the ONLY wrong way to rave is to violate the spirit of PLUR (which judging how others enjoy the space/music in non-harmful ways would do).

Maybe you could prepare a response and practice it for future events if someone comes up to make sure you're OK, something like, "I'm OK thank you. It's very kind of you to check. "

Same here, we lose some chickens to the circle of life, but all get to live their best chicken lives. I think to do so, it's important to have a rooster and have breeds with the right temperament raised by free range hens. My mom once hand raised some Jersey Giants and all but one were the first to be picked off.

Some cats just are really attached to a single person, but there are ways to build up relationships with their "lesser choices".

My husband and I have 3 cats and one of them is obsessed with me and actually started to treat my husband kind of poorly (little swats and complaints, just making hubby aware that cat was upset he wasn't me.

First, I had to stop being the one to provide all foods, wishes and snuggles when kitty demanded. If he wanted a door opened, or his play paper on the ground (and hubby was home) I'd tell him no and to ask his dad. Then I would walk away and hubby would come over and once the cat acknowledged him he'd give the cat what he wanted and talk nice to him.

The cat also lived to be held/carried by me front half dangling over my shoulder, but would swat at hubby if he tried to pick him up. We worked on my husband petting the cat while I held him, then on to me ignore the cat when he wanted petting so he would allow my husband to pet him, and eventually my husband holding cat while we both petted, into my husband doing it alone. It's important to never force the cat, and if cat doesn't want to be petted by hubby never push it.

The idea is to slowly show the cat that if you are unavailable they can have a need met by dad. You're creating a vacuum by not meeting all of the cat's demands.

I would have your husband do daily "treat time" with your cat. It's important to make it a routine that happens daily and to be consistent.

I do this with my cats and to keep them healthy, a lot of the treats I get them are just a different variety of dry cat food that they like (and is fairly healthy for them). If you live in an area with an independent pet store they will often have small sample bags of some dry foods so you can see if she likes it.

I would have him create a special greeting for her (and use a kind and loving tone) and give her a treat every morning before he leaves for work (but not directly after waking up because some cats will begin forcing earlier wake up times).

For my cats I do "family treat time) every night at 830. I sit on a couch and they each have their areas, I go to one at a time, say their name, and ask them to "high-five" or "lump-jump" (LJ is just what I call sitting up so only bottom paws are on ground to get the treat). Then when they do the trick and get the treat I give lots of loving affirmations about how smart they are/how they're my favorite etc.

By having a consistent routine the cat will begin looking forward to interacting with your husband. During this time, try to let him be the giver of all treats (and also wet foods) if possible.

I feel like we are currently living a decade or two before her book begins. Had I read it when she wrote it I would have thought the premise far fetched.

Often "mature" is code for "having survived adult concerns/traumas/responsibilities during childhood" (which makes them more vulnerable to manipulations and abuse from fully adult predators).

I'm so sorry for your loss and hope you encounter his energies often as you continue on this plane without him

I thought everyone could do this, but I'd trade this ability to be able to lift one eyebrow.

I'm also able to make my ears rumble by activating some muscles in my eyelids and around my eyes, but not sure what that means (other then I am obviously gifted).

The way she wrote indicates his cruelty is a byproduct of his inability to empathize. He didn't mentally break so much he couldn't come up with lame justifications to excuse his cruelty. These are the actions of someone who feel justified kicking people when they're down.

If OPs husband is a wonderful person normally to those who can do nothing for him and lead a life he could not imagine for himself and this is him having a mental break he needs to be in a mental hospita being evaluated/treated.

He is cruel, callous, and nasty... that's a character disorder, a moral failing and evidence of a belief system that allows him to feel entitled to inflict harm on strangers.

I would NEVER spend time with ANYONE who treats any living thing this way and I think it's pretty awful you're claiming he has mental health issues that only manifest in cruelty (and should therefore be accepted/disregarded).

What he did shows who he IS and I think OP just had her eyes opened.

Most abuse happens in secret, it's far more likely those two have hidden the abuse than he has changed. Also, not all abuse is overtly violent physical abuse.

Please consider contacting the domestic violence hotline thehotline.org to help you safely escape (if in the US). They have online chat if you're afraid of being overheard.

I'm proud of you for recognizing that he is abusive and for taking steps to leave. You deserve kindness and respect

May you encounter his energies often as you continue on this plane without him

It's a belief system that strictly enforces hierarchies based on power and believes that a certain set of genitalia automatically gives one the role of great leader/decider.

As a woman who prefers an equal partnership, signing of for that dynamic is insane to me. I understand though that people are willing to play nice until you sign on the dotted line.

Did we have the same blood borne pathogen trainer in St. Louis?

It's human nature to automatically assume everyone else shares your same mindset/values/attitudes/beliefs.

This causes kind and empathetic people to dismiss and excuse the signs of manipulation and power consolidation in unhealthy relationships because they wouldn't ever think to treat someone they care about that way. Their belief system doesn't allow them to see the lies and manipulations for what they are.

It's basically the unhealthy partner treating the relationship like a battle for supremacy and the healthy partner being unaware there's even a war, so they continue ceding ground.

The toxic/unhealthy partner assumes their victim shares their mindset/beliefs, so feels vindicated and superior when they "win" and they dismiss their partner's truth as lies/manipulations.

So jealous you get to see Dirt Monkey