The Park in Ride game service is a wonderful perk with these events. It is funded by our civic taxes, in addition to some funds from the Elks corporation, and requires a lot of coordination in terms of OT for staff to work weekends (extra bus drivers, security, crowd control, etc.). In fact, ETS has a whole group dedicated to seevices like this.

In short, event PnRs are expensive and taxpayers are paying for it. While I appreciate your frustration over the reduced service, please take a look at the current state of our economy and numerous complaints about high taxes... then be thankful you can still afford to attend and enjoy a game. Though I love the games and PnR, I also want our precious taxes to go to broader services.

You look great, and I love that you stayed true to yourself! Congrats.

Did anyone else notice that most (if not all) of the people trying to jump in this video are women? It struck me as odd, so now I'm going down the rabbithole looking at stats / curious if there is a gendered correlation to jumping.

If only I had a dollar for every time my mother said that to me.

Maybe it's because he lives here and was a former City Councillor, so returning as Mayor has continuity and makes sense.

Don't get me wrong, Mayor Sohi is far from my favourite, and I think other candidates might have done a better job. That said, your accusation could be levied towards any member of Edmonton Council with strong ties Federally (Sohi - Liberal) or Provincially (Hamilton - UCP, Cartmell - UCP). It doesn't prove anything, nor is it a 'Gotcha!'.

Ultimately, I wish we could just drop these polarizing political party affiliations and rhetoric to focus on the real problem: politicians at all levels and all parties have not been held sufficiently accountable to us, the public. You and I are on the same side, my friend. Please don't let politically-motivated distraction tactics stop us from banding together.

Thank you so much for this tip!

Thank you so much for sharing your positive flashback experience. We hear so much about the difficulty of going through therapy and treatment, which can make the process more daunting. It's refreshing to hear the good parts, too.

I feel your position is a little black/white (all or nothing) for my personal liking, and I accept that it's ok for you to have that view. This is certainly a complex issue with no easy solution and a swath of impacts. I don't believe there's an absolute right or wrong in terms of interpretations, just different approaches to understanding and framing what's happening.

Cheers to you, my friend, and let's work together collaboratively to find our way through this situation.

I often wonder if part of the declining birthrate we see is also partially due to intergenerational trauma resulting from our fore-mothers not having choice over child bearing.

For example: my mother always made sure I knew she didn't want to have me, but was forced to have me because of societal expectations. Her own mother felt the same and communicated as such. Both my mother and her mother resented having to be mothers, which was reflected in their crappy parenting that left the ensuing generation highly traumatized.

I chose not to have children because I was scared I would continue the pattern of intergenerational trauma onto another innocent child. While I feel lucky I could make this choice, I also recognize I likely would have chosen differently, were it not for my toxic upbringing. This makes me wonder if we're seeing a pendulous response to intergenerational abuse that very well may start to correct itself as we heal and build emotional intelligence.

Of course, that doesn't negate the cost of living correlation to birthrate. It's just another possible facet for consideration.

Though many Scandinavian countries have a high standard of living, they also have a very high cost of living. So it's reasonable to believe there may be a CoL link to reduced birthrates there, as well.

Sources: - best friend is from Norway and regularly talks about how expensive it is, including how hard it is to afford a home or even eat out occasionally. - Also confirmed CoL via quick internet search. It looks like our friends in Norway, Sweden and Denmark are dealing with similar CoL and housing supply situations as North Americans, but their gov'ts seem poised to act more quickly with policy measures.

That's not always the case, and I think it's unfair to judge it that way. I was a child victim of parental alienation where my mom turned me against my dad at a young age. Don't get me wrong... my dad wasn't perfect, but I was estranged from him from the age of 10 to 27 because of my mother's lies and manipulations. She was still a nightmare to deal with when I reconnected with him as an adult until I wised up to her tactics.

I'd advise OP to dig deeper and gain an understanding of his dynamic with his kids. Generally, I agree with you that it would be foolish to start a family with this guy... but not because of his relationship with his kids. Rather, because he's stated he doesn't want more kids. 100% deal breaker.

I relate to your desire to associate past experiences and names of the people involved in those experiences. I have the same urge. Similarly, I also have a highly traumatic past that I've put years of effort into recovering from.

I'm not clear where my need for names comes from, and I suspect it has to do with some kind of cross-over in trauma recovery where leaving people unnamed can feel like another form of dehumanizing behaviour.

I suggest you dig really deep to understand why you have this need, then evaluate how it's impacting the people around you. Just because you feel a need for something doesn't mean you should act on it with the people around you. From your lens, you may feel good when your need is met. But from their lens, your actions may be unsettling. From my perspective, it's usually best to reflect and try to understand so you can self-regulate without imposing on your loved ones.

Edited to add: Best wishes for your ongoing recovery. It's tough work and it sounds like you're on a good path.

We call this "bed lunch" in my family. Welcome to the club, my friend!

I try to stick to higher protein snacks that are lower in sugar. Things like nuts, unsweetened peanut butter on a piece of whole grain bread, plain yoghurt with PB, etc.

Reading through peoples' experiences with these types of ugly comments from parents who were supposed to love us has been very cathartic. Thank you for your post. I'm thankful to know I'm not alone.

My mother made lots of comments to me (at me?) like the ones mentioned in this thread. These are the two that stick with me most:

-- She would say to me "...I never wanted a kid but was forced to have one by society." She would then stare at me, typically with dark eyes and a sneer, and say "... you're lucky you'll never have to experience this. " She said this to me for as long as I can remember and ever since I was a little kid, I thought it's how all mothers spoke to their kids.

-- "... I can't wait for you to have a daughter as horrible as you!" I was a straight A kid who would do anything for my mother's approval. I acted out as I got older because I was raised in a highly abusive home. And, you know, I behaved like a kid.

Honestly, her comments go on from there. Reflecting on my memories and reading about others' experiences has provided perspective that I think I really needed today. Lately, I've been having a hard time "turning down" the voice in my head that repeats her horrible statements at/about me. But then I recognize I'd never say things like this to a child, let alone another adult. And if I did or ever do make such hateful statements, I hope to be called on it so I may immediately apologize and grow. I guess that is the main difference between my mother and me.

This is a tough situation, and I relate.

I live in a townhouse, and my old neighbour would smoke like a chimney on their deck. Their smoke would stink up my place even if I didn't have windows open because my air intake is near their deck. I never complained, though, because I recognize they have a right to use their deck for smoking. This is what I signed up for when I chose to live in a denser development. But believe me, I did a massive celebratory dance when they moved and I could finally use my windows again!

That said, I do often wonder about the fire hazard associated with smoking on decks and balconies. I think most people are responsible enough, but there are always a few people 'asleep at the wheel' and I worry with wood-frame dense developments.

I grew up isolated from my father and his side of my family. I reconnected with them in my late 20's and struggled with finding my place in the group for about 10 years. I also felt a lot of the awkwardness you describe, never really knowing where or how I fit in.

I think the main issue is your feeling of being a burden. I felt the same until I realized I'm not a burden and I'm not viewed by others as a burden. I spent a lot of time and effort on recovery during my 30's and realized that my internal feeling of being a burden was a hangover from my childhood. My mother treated me as a burden my entire life (until I went NC in 2021), and I internalized that, thinking "I am a burden to everyone".

You're not a burden. You're just a person, like anyone else, who needs a little extra reassurance because of the trauma you carry. The hard truth is you won't get that reassurance externally and need to work on healing / loving yourself. So be gentle with yourself and go slow. Also, please know that your family may not be reaching out to you much because they notice you're hesitant around them, and they may want to respect your privacy.

Here's some strategies to try that helped me integrate with my dad's family:

(1) Go slow! Push yourself to attend a social engagement with your family. Afterward, take time to step back to your safe space and reflect on your feelings. It's OK to take as long as you need.

(2) Start small. Reach out to individual family members you feel most connected with. Try to initiate a short visit 1-on-1. Maybe meet up somewhere for cake and a coffee.

(3) Go to them. Call your favourite nearby aunt or cousin and ask if you can swing by their place for a visit. You can always lie and say you'll be in their neighbourhood running an errand so you feel less awkward asking. Always show up with treats (I usually bring pastries). By bringing treats, you'll feel like you're contributing, which directly counteracts the feeling of being a burden. Also, by going to their place, it's easier for you to politely leave when you start feeling overwhelmed.

(4) Share more. I'm just guessing based on my experience, but you likely don't share much about your life with them. That makes it hard for your family to connect with you since you're not allowing them to know you as a person. Start small and share small things about your life (hobbies, work, ideas, etc.). Slowly open yourself up, see how they respond and reflect on how you feel. Try to be aware of your projections ("I'm a burden") vs their actual reactions/actions... you'll eventually see a reassuring pattern.

(5) Stop pleasing. This one's hard, because it's ingrained in us to prioritize others' happiness. But people can tell when you're being a people pleaser and this often pushes them away because it comes across as fake. Keep reassuring yourself that not everyone will like you, and that's ok. Slowly, you'll notice yourself coming out of your shell and you'll find your people/family who genuinely like you.

Good luck! You're on a hard journey, and it's worth the effort.

Congratulations! I'm so excited you're starting this new chapter of your life. Prioritize yourself, your growth and your well-being. This is your time to do what you want with your life and put effort into developing yourself.

I kicked my husband out last year after tolerating years of unacceptable behaviour, and it was the best decision I've made. After taking time to heal, I feel stronger than ever before.

Enjoy your journey!