Apologies for the novel. Writing about 'what i'm feeling' is a pretty new thing for me, but figured it might be a healthier option than just bottling up all my frustrations.

I've aspired to be a professional musician for the last 17 years under the same banner, since I was in fact 17. I've released multiple records through fairly prominent (but not major) labels, as well as played hundreds of shows since then. Much older and maybe a bit wiser than my teen years, I feel as though it's a vicious loop of highs and lows, where the lows become ever so brutal to manage. From touring across North America, to everything blowing up in my face, sitting in an airport by myself, and having to rebuild just to do it again. It's taxing.....but yet, I still hang on to that dream of performing worldwide.

The rush of performing is like nothing I've ever encountered, I feel the most care-free when I am on stage...i'm not worried about anything at work or at home, i'm in the moment and just enjoying the energy and atmosphere. But, when the lights go out and the logistics of 'behind the scene' is where I fall off and struggle the most because likeminded attitudes in terms of that same drive and ambition are so hard to come across. You can deal with what you feel are the right pieces to fit the puzzle, but for how long?

I guess what I'm asking, is how do you manage to keep those dreams alive that depend on others to fulfill? I've spent years trying to understand what it is to be a leader, and to try and deal with partners in a likeminded way but it always seems as though that gets taken advantage of, and I'm left to scramble and try to do everything that needs to be done on my own to try and accomplish those dreams, which in turn leaves me burnt out and contemplating everything from giving up, to things much worse.

So I recently picked up one of the Legion Nihilist lefties off their sale and received it a few days ago. Now, I've tried a number of brands from Ran to Kiesel to higher end BC Rich models, but something just genuinely seems odd with this thing.

Looking at the routing around the floyd rose cavity I couldn't help but notice not only an unusually spotty attempt at painting but a notable amount of burs around the cavity. The finish itself, kinda lackluster compared to rendering, but the craftsmanship.....I've never actually seen a bridge seemingly have enough room to flex around. While beginning to tune I heard a loud audible pop as the bridge seemingly popped right out of place. Done hundreds of setups....never seen this before.

I guess what I'm asking, anyone else run into similar issues or perhaps have some insight to shed on these things? For the price of roughly $1300CAD after shipping and duties it's not terrible though it feels like it may be a far cry from a top quality instrument.

Also it came with a right handed trem arm which had me laughing 😂