A holiday. An experience. Or upgrade something he already owns for a nicer / newer version. A good winter coat is a great option that is often not thought of.
NTA for keeping the photos. But YTA for showing the photos. That was not nessecary. I’ve been with my husband 15+ years and he still hasn’t seen all my photos. Nor I of his. Certainly not on the first meet and greet.
But you need to have a talk with your daughter. Apologise because you did f-up. But also tell her you are keeping the photos, even just for you, because you loved her then and you love her now.
NTA. I would have also asked the young man to leave saying ‘you are not welcome in my home or presence, you need to leave’.
NTA. Why do people do this? It’s never ok! He clearly never asked because he knew the answer would be ‘no’.
I have a few Slavic and Eastern European friends, and the name floats around. I think it’s lovely.
This is clearly stressing you, by default baby, out. Talk to your doctor, and see what can be done.
NTA. I think your husband has forgotten that ‘his family’ is you and the kids. That is his priority over his mother. Life insurance is to cover life expenses if someone dies so you don’t loose the family home (and similar). A good amount to consider is to pay off the mortgage and have about 12-24months worth of bills covered as well. It should be to provide for his family - that is you and the kids, NOT his mum. If there is room for something for his mother in a will, like a token amount, ok, but the life insurance is so you can fund keeping you and the kids going.
I also suggest if you have not sorted it already, as well as life insurance, also get your wills sorted. Enduring power of attorney and advance care directive are also worth doing at the same time. Especially since you have kids.
NTA. Wow, you have already gone above and beyond what most people would.
First up, if you can arrange to divert all their calls to your husband, do it. Or at a minimum, just maintain to tell them when you can help and only help at those times. Do not pick up the phone/ acknowledge the message outside those times.
As for your husband, if he is bringing up divorce, you can always tell him to go ahead, because then he will be alone to help his parents and you will have more free time for yourself. He’ll be doing you a favour.
Girl run! He is 15 years older than you, and he is trying to trap you. If there is an option for you to get out and not have this baby, do it. He is testing your boundaries.
Getting rid of one’s collection is not a method to grow up. Further, a respectful partner would have seen this as something to share with a future child. This is a control tactic. He is showing you his cards and it ain’t a good hand.
Wear the suit. Tell your mum everyone will be focused on the bride and groom and that’s what she should do.
No job. I do not dream of labour.
NTA. Your response to your aunt and granny is now “we will miss your presence”.
There are lots of people concentrating on the red flags between you and your husband, which are important to acknowledge, but I’m going to advise on how to make the most of this sticky situation.
You don’t know what you are in for when your baby arrives. You may be blessed with an even tempered child who sleeps like an angel and eats without fuss and you have a magical post natal experience (what my second child was like). Or you may have a tricky / spicy tempered child who screams for 18months straight, has colic, refuses to eat and never sleeps (my first child). You can not control temperament - it is DNA wired and you roll the dice when your baby is born. You can not change it, you just have to roll with what comes.
Let your MIL come but ask that she come about 4-8weeks after baby is born. By this point you will start to know your baby, breast feeding (if you choose) will be established, and you will be past the first newborn bubble. Your husband, if entitled to leave will have returned to work by this point and you will likely be ready to start getting out and about a bit. Let your MIL in and put her to work. Let her do things, buy some clothes / things for the baby, clean the house, do the washing, hold the baby while you sleep. Look after baby so you can go for a 30 minute coffee with a friend or some exercise. You can also set boundaries of what you do and don’t want from this experience and discuss these with her (if language is an issue ask your husband and also your SILs and to help) before she arrives and reinforce once she arrives. Most people who are wanting to help are receptive to instruction. They just need reminding sometimes. You want to establish your ‘rules’ before the horse has a chance to bolt, so then it’s a case of reminding, not bringing in new information.
Good luck, take all the help you can get. Raising children is a group activity, that is why they say it takes a village. Let yours help. The more supported you feel by your village, the easier this is going to be.
Let it go, use the name you want, because she is the one who will look silly in the grand scheme of things. Also it’s worth noting that I know many family’s with cousins with identical names because they were all named after the grandparents. I know this is not the same context, but it does happen and people still move on with their lives.
NTA. Her kids can cut back. If the kids and her had cut back more, and still struggling, then maybe, but you still need to live. Your child support payment is to cover your living expenses, so that outweighs extra curricular activities.
Sometimes. Particularly for kids clothes, as they are the right size for the clothes.
A print out of the booking or confirmation of the stocks, like a printed screen shot. If it’s not aesthetically pleasing use photoshop / Canva (or a friends with such skills) to make a nice looking version. Example my sister made her own voucher / certificate to gift my daughter a ‘day out’ with her at a children’s farm. I have also made similar type things where there is a gift of time like baby sitting or help with yard work. Once I gifted a friend for their engagement a Bunnings voucher plus a days labour and made a nice looking ‘gift card’.
An experience? You said he likes cooking his own wagu steaks, what about a one day butchery course? I sent my dad and husband together to one a few years ago, they had a blast, and then they also got to come home and bbq all the stuff they prepared at the course. Or similar cooking class? You could also buy him some stocks in a company he finds cool - not necessarily for investment but just to have, eg if he is a Nintendo fan, get some Nintendo stocks, even if is just tokenistic
NTA. Just get married when it suits you. What are they waiting for?!?!? Just say some words and sign some papers already. It’s been 8 years.
Also OP someone else suggested a courthouse quickie. I second this / eloping. Save your cash for your life together and your kid.
NTA. No one has a ‘right’ to be at a bridal appointment, and MILs are usually low on the priority list. It’s not her place to be.
About $1000, maybe $1500 out of pocket for the whole pregnancy and delivery private in Australia. C section. 2020 and 2024z I have private health insurance but there were a few things not fully covered, tests, doctor fees, ect.
Nicholas - very common across Europe including Slavic. Nick and Henry go together well. And it’s a classic
Run. Do not have a baby with this boy. And closely monitor your contraception while you are exiting.
EHS. My mum had the rule for ear lobe piercings, you could have it when you asked for it. I had mine done around 5 years old. I think it’s a good way to deal with it. Ear lobe is pretty low risk. If your kid understands it’s going to hurt and the importance of after care, they are fine.
AITA I don’t want my daughter to get her ears pierced yet.
AmItheAsshole