In the immortal words of Paul Finch, in American Reunion “I translated The Brothers Karamazov into Latin for fun”.
I was waiting for this comment
You gotta add some jumping on the bed too, or else it’s a wasted night
“Hey man, sorry to interrupt but, I wasn’t able to pick up more TP from the store after all. I hope that’s not an issue”
“What were you expecting, a monster?”
“Simon says …think about baseball!!”
“Yeah so apparently if you shove a beer up your ass, and “drink it” that way, it’s like the equivalent of drinking ten beers at once!”
“Highly-processed, pre-frozen, bought wholesale for dirt cheap, microwaved shit that we’re convincing you is made fresh in our kitchen”.
“Oh geez babe! You are way too modest, saying your mom is as pretty as you are. You are so so so much hotter than that trog!”
“I am so proud of all you first generation graduates! As the great Oliver Wendall Holmes Jr. said “3 generations of imbeciles are enough””
I really should get that mole checked out
I said I wanted Spotted Dick, dammit! The spots are clearly visible but, where is my dick!
I believe that would be in your trousers, Sir
Granted, I went from outpatient to SNF but MedBridge was and continues to be a great resource
“For the last time, no! We’re not doing the cam until Paul Stanley gets here!”
“Look, I know you like that sweater. Hell, we all like that sweater. But, what possessed you to wear it while touring the liver transplant unit of the hospital?!”
For real. I love my son to death but, if all I’m remembered for is having a child, then I feel like I did a pretty shitty job with the rest of my life.
I can do a speedball without overdosing! Wanna see?
“Chief, we got a report of a 28 year old male, who was stabbed to death. Also, apparently the body was covered in shit-filled adult diapers”
“Sweet mother of God, Johnson. It looks like Ivan the Incontinent has struck again!”
Coming into work late, when I didn’t have any patients and, leaving work early when I didn’t have any patients
Sounds like the time I had the brilliant idea of washing my son’s poopy swim diaper under the shower head: the wall was coated ☹️
Straight man here. That definitely sounds like attraction.
“Wow. That was an incredibly disappointing experience”.
Things You Can Say About Food And Beverages, But Not Your Partner
ScenesFromAHat