Almost, you missed the part where she said he was smirking! This wasn't instinctual, otherwise she wouldn't have seen him smirking, this was a revenge thing as her brain went "you did this to me so I'm going to do this to you" not "somebody is touching me I need to get them away from me" like you described in your situation.
This wasn't self defense it was assault.
Actually it wasn't self defense. By ops own admission she turned around and faced him, saw his smirk, then slapped him. In a court of law she was not in any physical danger requiring self defense and assaulting him. Now if she would have swung at him without turning around first that would be "instinctual" but she looked right at the guy for at least a second or 2 before she slapped him
If OP goes through with this she and not him will be facing legal issues. The camera didn't get a clear view, but had a clear view of her slapping him. Remember the whole "innocent until proven guilty"?
Yeah, it's he said/she said and no actual proof but proof of her assaulting him. They can't physically prove he did it but CAN physically prove she slapped him.
THIS is why you don't just go around fucking hitting people out of anger. She was not in any real danger, she did not end up exposing herself and her clothing was not removed. Not defending the jerk, just saying she fucked this up by slapping him and the husband is right!!
If she wouldnt have slapped him security would have thrown the punk and his parents out. Her feeling unsafe and her husband being a witness was enough for them to want to prevent a lawsuit. OP fucked up and if she takes all of you knuckleheads advice she will be doing a AMA titled "Slapped a boy who SAd me, now I'm facing assault charges"
Because "rage" is not only accepted but praised!
Here's the thing nobody is saying because they are too hell bent on "revenge" and "punishment", even worse is the "rough guys" who say they would gladly spend a night in jail if this happened to their wives or whatever.
If she wouldnt have slapped him, he would have leaned a better lesson!! Once she laid hands on him she lost victim status and became guilty of assault as well. He did not physically harm her, did not expose her to anyone in doing what he did. He wasn't even a full threat to her safety, she did over react in the setting she was in.
If she would have gone straight to security they would have had enough to throw him out. Even if it wasn't a great angle they would have approached the boy and his parents and asked them to leave because she felt unsafe.
THEN when they are forced to leave you better believe the parents don't have someone slapping their son to hold onto what he did or didn't do.
OP over reacted and she deserved to be kicked out of the water park. YOU DO NOT put hands on someone unless it is self defense and THIS WAS NOT!
Why? Because it was his "smirk" that made her angry and slap him! She was no longer defending herself but instead assaulting someone.
You know what, I want OP to try and press charges, I bet the camera picked up the slap just fine! The kid would learn a great lesson then wouldn't he?
OPs husband was right and all these jsckasses in these comments are just as dumb as OP was. Here's the thing though, their going to defend themselves because they are saying the kid deserved and possibly you and I don't take sexual assault seriously. Yet maybe the ones who are not taking it seriously enough are the ones preventing real punishment from happening and only making things worse!
Gonna get flamed for this but saying it anyways. People are not taking the mental toll of being rejected physically on ones mental health serious enough. If you have a person who is already in a low place, feeling your partner no longer is interested in you sexually DOES NOT make things better, it adds to the problem and makes it worse.
People are throwing in all these other "possibilities" because they need to provide an excuse that doesn't make his wife look like the bad guy. We all know, have read and have seen posts like this from women and the overwhelming support they get is in stark contrast to what men receive.
His wife was a bitch, he had every right to turn down her pitty sex, resentment built up through her rejections!
It's absolutely disgusting how nobody is calling her out for this! She "loves" him but does not find him sexually attractive because of his weight. Holy Fucking Shit! She doesn't love him for him, she loves him for his physical appearance as anything about that that changes dries her up like the Sahara desert!
When men say this shit about their wife's after pregnancy we tell them they are a piece of shit, but since it's a woman doing it to a man who gives a fuck right?
He needs to leave her, find someone who isn't going to make things WORSE for him when he's down!
She turns him down because he's gained wait, "she did nothing wrong you slob!". He turns her down for ANY reason and "you're doing this out of revenge and she deserves someone better". She ACTIVELY through REJECTION showed him she didn't find him sexually attractive and fucking admitted it! She admitted she was no longer sexually attracted to him because he gained weight but HES the bad guy for no longer trusting his wife's intentions with initiating sex?
Y'all some sexist assholes! Nobody deserves to be treated like OP was during a low point by their PARTNER. She no longer deserves his affections, she gave them up when she withheld hers!
Gonna get flamed for this but saying it anyways. People are not taking the mental toll of being rejected physically on ones mental health serious enough. If you have a person who is already in a low place, feeling your partner no longer is interested in you sexually DOES NOT make things better, it adds to the problem and makes it worse.
People are throwing in all these other "possibilities" because they need to provide an excuse that doesn't make his wife look like the bad guy. We all know, have read and have seen posts like this from women and the overwhelming support they get is in stark contrast to what men receive.
His wife was a bitch, he had every right to turn down her pitty sex, resentment built up through her rejections!
It's absolutely disgusting how nobody is calling her out for this! She "loves" him but does not find him sexually attractive because of his weight. Holy Fucking Shit! She doesn't love him for him, she loves him for his physical appearance as anything about that that changes dries her up like the Sahara desert!
When men say this shit about their wife's after pregnancy we tell them they are a piece of shit, but since it's a woman doing it to a man who gives a fuck right?
He needs to leave her, find someone who isn't going to make things WORSE for him when he's down!
She turns him down because he's gained wait, "she did nothing wrong you slob!". He turns her down for ANY reason and "you're doing this out of revenge and she deserves someone better". She ACTIVELY through REJECTION showed him she didn't find him sexually attractive and fucking admitted it! She admitted she was no longer sexually attracted to him because he gained weight but HES the bad guy for no longer trusting his wife's intentions with initiating sex?
Y'all some sexist assholes! Nobody deserves to be treated like OP was during a low point by their PARTNER. She no longer deserves his affections, she gave them up when she withheld hers!
Gonna get flamed for this but saying it anyways. People are not taking the mental toll of being rejected physically on ones mental health serious enough. If you have a person who is already in a low place, feeling your partner no longer is interested in you sexually DOES NOT make things better, it adds to the problem and makes it worse.
People are throwing in all these other "possibilities" because they need to provide an excuse that doesn't make his wife look like the bad guy. We all know, have read and have seen posts like this from women and the overwhelming support they get is in stark contrast to what men receive.
His wife was a bitch, he had every right to turn down her pitty sex, resentment built up through her rejections!
It's absolutely disgusting how nobody is calling her out for this! She "loves" him but does not find him sexually attractive because of his weight. Holy Fucking Shit! She doesn't love him for him, she loves him for his physical appearance as anything about that that changes dries her up like the Sahara desert!
When men say this shit about their wife's after pregnancy we tell them they are a piece of shit, but since it's a woman doing it to a man who gives a fuck right?
He needs to leave her, find someone who isn't going to make things WORSE for him when he's down!
She turns him down because he's gained wait, "she did nothing wrong you slob!". He turns her down for ANY reason and "you're doing this out of revenge and she deserves someone better". She ACTIVELY through REJECTION showed him she didn't find him sexually attractive and fucking admitted it! She admitted she was no longer sexually attracted to him because he gained weight but HES the bad guy for no longer trusting his wife's intentions with initiating sex?
Y'all some sexist assholes! Nobody deserves to be treated like OP was during a low point by their PARTNER. She no longer deserves his affections, she gave them up when she withheld hers!
Was he rejecting you sexually because of the weight gain? No? Then it's not the same.
Did your wife constantly reject you sexually during this time? If not your anecdote doesnt relate at all!
How do you think this makes him feel though? Imagine if you will, that the only time your boyfriend said he loved you was when you asked him to. He would say it with his whole chest, but if you never asked or tried to initiate that response from him it would only happen once or twice a month.
Over time what will happen is you'll start questioning if he really means it. You'll wonder if he's just doing it to passify you and then the spiral gets worse. You'll then start to wonder if he didn't have that problem in previous relationships. You'll start looking at the past and remember he said it very often unprompted.
What I'm trying to say is please don't stop checking in on him about this. Make sure you are continuously communicating to him that you are enjoying it and THANK him for initiating it!
The biggest downfall can be avoided if you are letting him know that him initiating it is great because your desire isn't high enough to make you seek it on your own. That by him initiating allows YOU to have more sex because you enjoy it and are greatful that he's willing to do that for you.
Basically it still makes you a willing and wanting participant even with low desire, will go a long way to keep those "other" thoughts out of his head! Everyone wants to feel desired, if our partners are low libido it takes a toll on the others mental health. Bravo to you for not shutting down and fostering resentment due to this!
Just because everyone else is saying the ssme thing I'm going to hit this from a different perspective while still saying NTA but give some much needed context to what's happening.
What I find funny is these types of requests (sexual requests) are EXTRMELY common for men. In fact they are so common that when a question is asked "what to give your man for "x" day?" You'll hear men almost exclusively say some form of sex act.
I think we really need to be asking ourselves why? Maybe if women understood the reasoning they would have better relationships.
Ready?
Women aren't the only ones not being sexually satisfied in a relationship! Yes you'll hear about the orgasm gap to no end, you'll hear about no foreplay and everything else under the sun from women about why they don't enjoy sex so much.
Yet here's the rub, why then are women not asking for sexual things but instead want gifts? Why are women not asking for oral on mothers day? Why is it men asking for these things but not women when women overwhelmingly complain or bring forth these issues?
You would think it would be the other way around, that by the way these things are discussed men must have the most fulfilling sex life, and yet?
So let's look at this from a different perspective and do the ol famous role reversal! For her birthday she wants him to go down on her, he doesn't want to. She complains that sex isn't very good for her because it seems like he's the only one enjoying it. She's complained that he rarely ever does it and when he does he says he doesn't enjoy it.
Yet here's the difference. Nobody is going to come at her with visceral contempt! In fact many will show sympathy that her sex life isn't fulfilling and tell her she should leave him for a man that wants to make sure she's enjoying sex! Yes they will say he doesnt have to do things he doesn't want to, but they are also going to call him selfish and say plenty of men would care about her and be willing to do that!
Lastly, he's not sexually satisfied in the relationship. So so many men are not. If you hear a guy say all he wants for his birthday is a BJ maybe we should start correlating that with women who complain about the orgasm gap. So many men are having shitty sex in relationships that having some form of sex as a present is what they want, how fucking SAD is that!
Oh and because I really like down votes, maybe women would have more enjoyable sex if they actually cared about their partner wanting enjoyable sex as well? Maybe the reason the orgasm gap exists is because women are doing the bare minimum so the guy figures that's all she deserves in return. If women want to treat sex like a chore or something that has to be doled out on special occasions maybe thats the same energy they are getting in return? Let's face it, a women's contribution to the actual act of sex is one of the receiver, they honestly don't have to do much but lay there. So if the guy feels like he's the only one responsible for all the actions taking place, has to do all the work and effort into the act, maybe just maybe hes tired of her just being lazy with sex and expecting him to do everything. Hence, "what I want for my birthday? I'll take a blowjob hunny!"
I don't think many people understand the DRASTIC amount of Testosterone that body builders are injecting. They just assume those people and the guys on TRT are getting the same doses. Body builders use 2x my weekly dose.....a day!!! Body builders and those using steroids for these purposes are hitting well over 2000. Normal men on TRT are rarely hitting anything near 1000.
I started taking T and I told my doctor that although my levels are within range I feel not quite there and felt I just needed a little more. He let me, 3 months later my tests come back a touch over 1000 but I had been feeling really good!
About 5 months later I started having low T symptoms again and have my 6 month checkup soon. Got notified that my doctor was moving away so I was getting a new one. My tests came back low 700s, meaning my testosterone dropped by 25%!
Told her about my symptoms and how if I'm not going to be getting a higher dose of T that I would like other things checked that could be causing my T levels to be low. She didn't believe my issues where severe enough, when I told her I felt like superman 6 months ago she told me I wasnt supposed to feel that way.
Problem is I felt like superman in my 20s!!! What I was trying to explain to her was that I felt GREAT and now I'm feeling NOT great.
I have an appointment with a new doctor in a couple weeks and I'm hoping he's a little more understanding. I'm doing weekly injections and by the 5th day I'm having low T symptoms and it takes a day or 2 for my injection to kick in .
I'm burning my T up! I need more and hopefully he will find a solution for me so I don't have to hit the black market!
I can slow down my heart rate even at rest, meaning not just after a vigorous workout where it was elevated.
It kind of freaks me out and I don't do it often because I don't know if I could or it would be possible to stop my heart.
A few weeks ago I was getting my vitals checked and the guy had a hard time reading my blood pressure. When he used the finger cuff thing he said "that explains it" and my heart rate was just over 50. I apologize and told him I was just relaxing too much and told him to try again and I brought it up to 65.
I've never tried to measure how low I can make it go but it's something most people can't do
Also I feel OP has completely glossed over the baggage she brought into the relationship due to childhood trauma. She could have very easily been pushing him away and very well could have been manufacturing drama for so much time in the relationship before she actually began to get help that he's just exhausted by her.
The whole situation with their child's school screams something I can't quite put my finger on. Like why did "she" need emotional support from him? How did that cause an emotional regulation issue within her requiring outside assistance? The kid yes, her?
Their is a LOT not being said and divulged within this explanation and all these people wanting her to take the kid/s away from him is toxic AF!
This is the same logic that believes women's sex toys are ok and men's sex toys are disgusting. It comes from the same place and is why wide acceptance of male sex toys is lacking far behind women's. It's because male sexuality is seen as wrong. It should ONLY exist with a partner, that's as far as their sexuality is allowed to take them. Yet at the same time, they should be shamed for wanting a partner to have sex with, for wanting to have sex with their partner AND for wanting sex too much.
Men are placed in a box when it comes to their sexuality that prohibits then from actually being free sexual beings. Partly do to evolution, assaults and societal standards of what constitutes a man. Men are typically very horny because of testosterone, many men assault women or use them just for sex and finally being a man means you shouldn't NEED to masturbate because only single losers have to resort to that. (Because they are resorting to it because a real man has a partner who wants to have sex with him)
To be blunt, it's not just men who are to blame, it's not just women, it's society.
This is the difference, women not only talk but give advice IN PERSON about what toys they like. Women openly discuss these things not only with their friends but sometimes with their mothers as well!
The reason you made that comment is because you know how unacceptable it is. Many women talk about their vibrators like men talk about video games to one another. Like if the topic comes up they talk about it almost unabashedly.
I'm kinda shocked you believe this to be honest. Men are more threatened by women's sex toys then their partners usage of them being done for male pleasure. In fact over the years it's been extremely common for women to loudly proclaim that the male penis is inadequate compared to their sex toys. That penetrative sex for them is nearly completely unsatisfying, a toy or oral sex if preferred far more. Yet men are not pushing back at that industry nor shaming women yet supporting women for a freedom they wish they had
Men have been made to accept women's needs for sex toys for well over 20 years now. The fact that women can go into Walmart and buy a vibrator shows that women's sexuality is far more accepted compared to mens. In fact it wasn't until very recently that you could find a male sex toy in Walmart, years after women's sex toys where already being sold frequently.
In fact it's mens sexuality that is and has been shamed for the last 20+ years. It's shamed in the way that he is viewed as less of a man if he's not having sex with a woman and instead "has" to masturbate. His sexuality is confined to the existence of a partner, it is not allowed to exist within him himself. Therefore sex toys for men are viewed as these men failing, not simply being a sexual being. This is in stark contrast with women, women have been encouraged to be sexually independent, with an entire industry flourishing on their consumerism of sex toys.
It wasn't until very recently that male sex toys have taken a step forward in variety. Partly do to the mechanics and technology needed, and partly because it's slowly becoming more accepted.
Whats crazy to me is if you read posts on this platform made by a man who's complaining about a sexless relationship one of the most common phrases is "you have a hand". It seems to me that mens lack of sexual freedom is the reason why men don't want to resort to the "hand" because most women don't resort to the "hand" either. Most women have toys for this purpose that are more satisfying, quicker, easily accessible and accepted ..no ... praised for their ownership.
Men's sexuality is strictly confined by partnered sex. You don't hear people making scathing retorts about a woman using a vibrator at her computer. You don't have a derogatory phrase for calling someone an asshole or a loser that's making a reference to a woman masturbating as is done towards men (jack off). In fact the acceptance of women's sex toys is so widely tolerated that it's now that it's starting to become common for mothers to buy their teenage daughters them!
This isn't me bashing women's sex toys, nor their acceptance and use. I'm also fully aware that the mechanics of each person's genitalia makes toys for women much easier. So easy in fact that archeologist found a few dildos that where made out of stone forever ago!
Yeah I get that, it's why I said I wasn't trying to dog you and admitted to helping out at home as well.
I do think though that your partner truly not only appreciates you doing those things but takes pride in knowing you CAN do those things because he supports the both of you. Meaning he wants you to not have to deal with the stressors of work plus having these duties.
If you both worked AND had to do things things I think the stress in both would be worse. Not just for your partner but for you as well. You and my partner have the freedom to take care of the kids with NO issues!! I don't have to worry about a sick kid who needs to miss school and stay home. She's allowed to join in and help with field trips. Doctors appointments and other things can morr easily be managed since she's a stay at home parent.
I wanted this for us, I wanted her to be able to support our family in a way we couldn't if we both worked. It's rough sometimes and I don't take her role for granted and neither does she. At the end of the day though, both roles are equally important and if the goal for this arrangement is for the betterment of the family as a whole I think it's a great arrangement.
So again, I understand what is involved with a stay at home parent. I appreciate everything she does but I still KNOW that their is more free time during the day she is afforded to not do anything then their is for me. Here's the rub, I would rather her have more free time then less. I'd feel her life is more enjoyable with the less responsibilities she has and is why I pitch in so much when it comes to domestic labor.
I can tell you from your partners perspective it is a HUGE stressor to know YOU alone are responsible for your family to even eat! Not trying to dog on what you contribute being a SAHM but honestly your duties as a partner only exist if your partner is paying for everything.
What I mean is the dishes you wash, laundry you fold, floors you sweep etc etc. All of that exists because your partner is paying for it, if he didn't you wouldn't have those responsibilities. He wasn't paying the water bill your responsibility to wash laundry goes away.
This is what I don't understand about 50/50 even though Im in your partners situation and contribute sometimes more then 50/50 to household duties. If I lived alone I would have to do those things but only for myself while still going to work 40+ hours a week. So if 1 person is spending 9 hours a day away from home to pay for both people why does that person need to contribute to the house as well? What would change if they lived by themselves except not be responsible for someone else's food, clothing, home etc etc.
It's kind of baffling to me that the common discourse when a SAHP/M exists that the provider is still supposed to split household duties 50/50. They literally would have life easier if they just lived alone. Whereas a SAHM/P has it easier since they don't have to work and do the household duties nor worry about financials.
Or maybe because society has been telling men since they are young that the system is rigged in their favor. So when that rigged system that is supposed to be making their lives easier isn't doing that they begin to wonder why. If the patriarchy is supposed to favor men over women then how come they are struggling in school, how come they arnt getting into higher education easily? How come they are being bombarded within social media about how bad and privileged they are yet are struggling so much?
Where is that privilege? If they are told they have it, that the system is setup for them to have it and yet they don't have it why would they work harder to dismantle it?
For context, imagine telling a woman she's privileged and the system is setup to support her because she benefits from the beauty industry. Yet she's spending all this money in an industry that doesn't really benefit her, it benefits some but not all women and hasn't benefited her. It's supposed to though, she's been told it does, so maybe the industry just needs to be stronger so that she can get what everyone says she should already have. Why should she try to dismantle it, it's supposed to be setup to make her life better, dismantling it could only make her shit situation worse!
If we're constantly saying men have it easy in society now then when the VAST majority of men don't have it easy, the last thing they are going to want is for it to be even worse for them. THAT is the reason men are flocking hard right, we've been told our entire lives we have it easy even when we know we don't, we don't want it getting worse for us!
I'm not hard right or maga btw
As someone in my late 40s who has always valued a relationship above everything else I completely understand how you're feeling.
Nearly every decision I make is to better my relationship and family. Even when I'm working on myself to be at the gym everyday thier is a large portion of my drive that's dedicated to wanting my partner to view me as attractive and sexy
When I'm trying to earn more money it's to better the lives of my partner and family, not because of status or clout. My partner doesn't understand this unfortunately. Telling her I won't do something that can jeopardize what i already have by chasing more money even if it can better our lives leaves her kinda dumbfounded. For her she sees no point of failure in chasing, but I've seen the chase destroy relationships and family.
I say this because you're asking for help and the help you need is understanding what your drive is! Your motivations to be in a relationship is what you can use to fuel that outcome, you just need to keep reminding yourself that your value isn't limited by "that"
Right now your limiting yourself by proclaiming your lack of a romantic relationship is defining your self worth. Instead you should be focusing on your drive to have a romantic relationship gives you a motivator to be "more" then you are currently. This could be your biggest strength if you tap into it to always want to improve yourself.
You want a relationship? Who do you need to be to have one you feel you deserve? What type of man do you need to be that can have the relationship you yourself long to have?
Focus on "who" you need to be and that will give you the goal that will inevitably lead you to the relationship you want. Hitting the gym means nothing if you don't have a goal! Being more confident doesn't mean anything if you don't have a goal and the goal isn't having a "relationship" the goal is to be the "man" whose in one!
What weight do you want to be? Now envision what clothes that new version of you can wear, what that future version of you will look like wearing them. Now take that image in your head and picture yourself talking to a woman. You feel brazen right now don't you? Even just imagining yourself looking better gives you confidence you don't have right now.
Go on Shien, screenshot some outfits that are being worn by models and look at them. Look at what size the model is wearing, look at the dimensions. That is your goal for the gym!
Once you have that goal, now you can plan how to get there! Count calories, be consistent at the gym, log your weights and reps. In 1 month, just 1 month of doing it right you won't recognize yourself in the mirror!
My advice is this, have a goal, acquire your goal and you'll have the relationship you deserve because you proved to yourself you earned it!
I don't know, if you can stop time that means you can put them into a number of scenarios. Submerge them in lava? Jettison them into outer space heading toward the sun? Make them drink hydrochloric acid? Inject them with any poison you can find?
I'm just thinking nobody is ever completely invulnerable right? Take Superman for example, stop time, strip him naked and cover him head to toe in kryptonite. You literally have all the time in the world to find ways to hurt people
Only real answer. The ability to stop time trumps super speed.
Stop time, strap explosives to opponent, walk a mile away, unfreeze time. Honestly stopping time is so OP and you probably wouldn't need another super power if you had it as long as it could trigger itself so precognition would be helpful as a secondary power.
Original NES version of Ninja Gaiden!! Still haunts me to this damn day!!! Only made it to the boss a few times and could never beat him!!!
So you're saying if a teenage girl yanked his shorts down, he turned around and saw her smirking and then slapped her that nobody would be upset at him? That the pool wouldn't have been full of other men trying to beat him up, that the girls father wouldn't have jumped in throwing hands at him?
No, he wouldnt hall off and slap her and YOU DAMN well know it! Again, why? Please tell me the reason you want to give for that man in this hypothetical NOT slapping that girl and then ask why OP was justified in slapping that jerk?
You can't! Nothing you say is going to sound good is it? You literally cannot defend that man attempting to slap a girl after he looked at her first and then slapped her can you?
So what is it then, is the reasoning that men can be slapped/punched/kicked and just not women? Or is it that NOBODY should be assaulted unless it's actually self defense? No matter what you choose you lose here because you'll either have to say in fact OP did over react or say that it's ok to assault men but not ok to assault women. Pick one!
AITA for slapping a teenager?
AITAH