Genesis 20:12 ¹² Besides, she really is my sister, the daughter of my father though not of my mother; and she became my wife.

I had my first Confession as an adult this March. I turned 40 in May. I try not to look at all the years I spent away from the Church. I just thank God that He led me back. I'm happy for you!

If the Sacrament of Confession is not available to you for now, I would sincerely pray the Act of Contrition in the meantime. He knows if you are truly sorry for your sin. But make it a point, when the first opportunity arises, to go to Confession.

If you didn't consciously withhold any sins during your Confession, it was valid.

I'm praying for you, my friend. Hang in there. I know what it feels like to feel knee deep in sin and Confession is days away. Try not to despair, and turn to prayer more during this time than you normally would. This is what I do in times like this. I also try to acknowledge and let it "soak in" how I feel when in this place, and I use that as fuel for my resolve to not repeat those sins again. I really hope this helps. God bless you.

Wallowing in your sin without seeking Confession immediately is a trick of the devil to keep you away
from God's grace. 

This reminds me of something (I think) Fulton Sheen said. It goes along the lines of "The devil uses a two-fold lie to trick you when it comes to sin. Before you sin, he lies to you to get you to believe it's no big deal and that it won't offend God. After you commit the sin, he again lies to you to get you to believe you're somehow outside of God's mercy and beyond redemption".

I remember Divine Mercy, and the Act of Contrition. I remember that even the disciples weren't perfect, either. Peter denied Jesus three times during the Passion. Thomas doubted that Jesus had risen from the dead until he could physically touch Him. Of course there's Judas Iscariot, but he never repented. Look at Saul (Paul). At first he was helping round up followers of Christ so they could be persecuted and imprisoned, then he had his eyes opened (literally) and became one of the most important figures in Christianity! I remember how many saints lived lives of sin before turning to a life striving toward holiness. I also remember that we are all human, and we are going to sin throughout our lives. Not to say that as an excuse, but that is the nature of this world since the fall in Garden of Eden. Are you familiar with Divine Mercy? The Mercy of Jesus is literally boundless and He awaits us in the Sacrament of Reconciliation when we sin. Confession is a gift, because without it we'd be doomed. We strive to steer away from sin, but it's going to happen and we are given a way to be absolved of our sins when we do. In the occasion that I find myself in a state of mortal sin, I remember these things, and until I can get to Confession, I make it a frequent thing to recite the Act of Contrition and resolve to do my best to not fall back into that sin. When is the next opportunity for you to go to Confession?

I've never been to a Latin Mass. The closest to a Latin Mass I've been is a very reverent Novus Ordo Mass with a lot of the Ordinary said/sung in Latin, lots of incense, and Communion given at the altar rail kneeling. This isn't at my home parish, unfortunately, but at the next nearest church. I love that Mass and my family and I will go there once a month or so.

I'm still learning about our faith, but I've watched a good handful of videos from Father Chris Alar with the Marian Fathers in Massachusetts. I've learned a lot form that man. Recently I watched his video on the Second Vatican Council. Now I might need to go back and re-watch this video, but I'm pretty sure he said that a lot of the "big" changes that manifested in the Novus Ordo Mass were never mentioned in the documents of Vatican II. Things like removal of high altars and altar rails, moving away from Latin and Gregorian Chant, changing the priest from ad orientem to versus populum. If these changes were never instructed by the Vatican during that Council, why were they allowed to occur? If the documents say to maintain these things, and they were largely done away with, why did the Vatican say or do nothing about that? I admit that they very well could have and I just don't know enough about our Church's history especially that period of it.

For reference, this is the video I'm referring to.

Vatican II : An Easy Way to Understand

God bless you too, my friend. I pray that through the Blessed Virgin Mary our Lord Jesus blesses you with the strength and resolve to beat this habitual sin you struggle with. Hang in there.

A few things - yes, watching porn is a mortal sin, even if there's no masturbation involved. I would highly recommend the Act of Contrition and praying for increased resolve to beat this addiction. Still, as others have said, get to Confession ASAP and refrain from the Eucharist until then. This is one of the most common sins in today's world because of how readily available and accessible porn is. That being said, it sounds like you are at least trying to kick this habit. This is good. It's not going to be an overnight thing if it's become an addiction. There are going to be periods where you're succeeding, and there will be stumbles. Do not despair when you stumble, but get back up (Confession) and strive to try even harder. Pray, pray, pray. There are saints who struggled with sins of the flesh who can intercede for you. I don't know all of them off the top of my head but two who come to mind are Saint Mary of Egypt and Saint Augustine.

Here is a link to some background to Saint Augustine's struggle with sins of the flesh, and some thought provoking encouragement afterwards. I pray it helps you.

St Augustine's Battle with Chastity

A lot of the changes to the responses and prayers came during the years when I was away from the Church in my late teen years up until this year. When I came back, hoo boy was I lost in those parts. I felt like the entire church could hear me say "Lord, I am not worthy to receive you...." instead of "Lord, I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof...". Very thankful for Missals with the order of the Mass in them to follow along with!

This is the answer. Go Birds.

My home parish is very close to my route to work and it's early enough that I can go to 8AM daily Mass before work each day. It's been a great change for me in my life and it's a very nice way to start my days during the week. If I can get out of work early enough on Saturdays I try to coordinate with my family in time to meet me at church and we'll go to the Saturday Vigil. If not, usually it's the 10AM on Sunday.

First off, it's good that you have a priest that you meet with and talk to regularly and he understands your struggles. But this is probably the most common habitual sin in today's world. Once upon a time you had to actually put in effort to go out to a shop and purchase pornography in order to consume it. Now there's an endless supply of it on the internet at your fingertips with smartphones or computers. This is such an easy sin to get trapped into, with so many getting into it at an early age.

I can understand feeling the way you do going to Confession repeatedly for the same sins, but the enemy will definitely try to fill your head with reasons why you shouldn't go. As with all mortal sins, confess them as soon as you can after they happen, even if they're habitual. I get it, it's no fun confessing the same sins over and over. But you don't want to put off confessing sins if they're mortal. The thing here is that you've admitted you want to be free of this addiction (this is good), but that you haven't been able to fully submit yourself to God on it. That's where some heavy lifting is going to need to take place. We're nothing without Him, and when we're up against something hard in life, that's when we need Him the most. This addiction is something that would do you wonders to lay at His feet and give Him that desire to be free of it. Even if it's just praying several times a day for the strength to surrender to Him and let Him in to help you on this, it's a start. And a darn good one at that.

May I ask what your prayer routine is like? May I suggest the Rosary and the Chaplet of Divine Mercy. Another one that I've added in recent weeks is the Chaplet of St. Michael the Archangel. Look into that one. From what I understand, it's said that regularly consuming porn opens one up to demons. St. Michael the Archangel and the Nine Choirs of Angels could can definitely help you here.

Also check these videos out. They have to do with habitual sin. I hope this all makes sense and it helps. I'm praying for you.

Are Your Sins the Same Story Again and Again? Rewrite The Script.

Confessing The Same Sins Over and Over Again

Thank you for your answer Father. Now that you say that, I remember learning about the candle in the red glass a while back that's always burning near the Tabernacle that signifies the presence of Christ. I guess I didn't think about how it's the hosts for Communion stored in there, and that they must have been previously consecrated for Christ to be present there.

God bless you for not even being old enough to drive, yet you have such a yearning for the Holy Mass. Like others have said - use this time to become familiar with the Bible. If you have access to YouTube, there are lots of channels on there from priests teaching all different aspects of our faith. I recommend Father Chris Alar and Father Mike Schmitz if you can get on YouTube. Father Mike Schmitz also has the Bible In A Year podcast that will take you cover-to-cover in the Bible in 365 days. Another vote for livestreams of Mass if you can find them.

Good to know. Thank you!

So today is considered a memorial? I didn't know that and did a quick Google search and found out there are solemnities, feasts and memorials. I'll have to read up more on that.

Most days I find myself focusing on the words of the prayers than I do on the mysteries, or I'm mentally distracted or my mind wanders. If you find your mind wandering during the Rosary, be gentle with yourself getting your concentration back on track. It might not happen very often where you really find yourself deep in the mysteries like that. It's something to strive for though, achieving that level of immersion in the Rosary. The few times it's happened, it's been such an experience it keeps me trying to re-capture that each time I do it. I've been praying the Rosary daily with my fiancee for only about four months or so.

A handful of times I've really found myself mentally, emotionally and spiritually immersed in the mysteries of the rosary while praying them if I can, first, calm my mind of distractions and wanderings. I find it helpful if I can "put myself inside the mystery". I try to imagine that I'm there as a witness to the different mysteries. Of course that gets tough during the Sorrowful mysteries, but several times it's almost like I was really there. Doing this during the scourging at the pillar or the crowning with thorns had me close to weeping several times. Eyes closed, almost rhythmically reciting one Hail Mary after another, and I was there seeing these things. It was amazing.

I don't view it as "role playing" at trying to be a TLM all. I still have much to learn but from what I have learned, nowhere did any of the Vatican II documents say that the era of the Novus Ordo means removing altar rails, or incense, or sacred music, or really anything that this Mass was. How, then, would this Mass have been an imitation? In my opinion it isn't trying to be a TLM. If anything I see it as being the Novus Ordo Mass that the Second Vatican Council intended. I left feeling closer to God and appreciative of how reverently a Novus Ordo Mass can be done. If that makes me "none the wiser", so be it. I loved it.

Please, someone correct me if I'm wrong here. I'm basically only three-four months back in the faith as a 40 year old having left as a clueless teenager and am still very much a Catholic Padawan learner...

Ditto. This March I did my second ever Confession at that point, the first being before my First Communion. I had no idea what I was doing, but I knew that there were sinful habits that I needed to confess and strive to stop in order to receive Communion again. This was great - I kinda cornered the priest after Sunday Mass and asked him if I needed to make an appointment for the first Confession in a long time. He asked "why not do it now?". Next thing I know, I'm in the confessional room and he was very patient and helpful the entire time, especially after I explained that it was 30+ years since my last Confession. After fumbling through it (largely based on what I'd seen of Confessions in movies), he began to explain just what the mercy of Christ means, that I have been forgiven and gave me absolution. Even though it was in Latin, and I knew next to nothing of what he was saying, I started sobbing.

There truly is something to the stories of people feeling lighter after the first Confession in a long time. I didn't know I carried such a heavy burden until it was lifted from me by His sacrifice. When I stop and think about it, it still, even now, makes me a bit wet in the eyeballs. God, King of the universe, came down to Earth, took on the human form and died on the Cross so a sinner like me could be forgiven of his sins and have a path to Salvation.

Deo gratias.

That is my one hang up about one day going to a TLM, is that the only Latin I know is The Lord's Prayer, Hail Mary, Glory Be and O My Jesus. I know that those parishes usually provide a booklet with translations of all the prayers and responses between English-Latin, but I know what you mean. I'd still love to go, but that has always been on my mind about that.

I know that "beauty" and "mystery" can be subjective, but I couldn't help but feel a sense of awe at that Mass that I haven't really felt at the regular Novus Ordo Masses I've been to. I know it's not always about how I'm made to feel, because at the end of the day whether it's NO or TLM, Christ is truly present and I am there to worship Him, but I really felt like I was witness to something truly miraculous and amazing there. If the Church went in that direction with more NO Masses I think it'd be great.