YTA. Just break up now if that’s how you feel. You already act like a married couple. You said so yourself. But if you’re comfortable throwing that all away because he won’t give you the party part, then he’s not your life partner anyway. 

You guys are only 24. You were different at 18 and you’ll be different at 28. I’d wait too if I was your age. 

School shootings. We got everyone beat at those. 

But if you know she’s taken from the start, you can set your expectations. Only way you end up “being hurt later” is if you didn’t take no for an answer and carried the torch for her the whole time you were being “just friends.”

I’m talking about actually forming a friendship, not faking one hoping you still have a shot. 

I like that Trump can attempt a coup d’etat and that’s not going too far, but Biden can’t cancel Department of Education-held debt because that’s a misuse of presidential power. What fucking planet are these clowns on. 

Learn a language other than English. Translation pays, especially when they need a live translator. 

Now now, don’t go ruining their narrative with facts. 

Less than $2k, needs to be large dog friendly, and you don’t have work lined up? No way, dude. Leaving California is so much easier than returning to California. 

Look for a short term (1-3 month) pet friendly rental on Airbnb, vrbo, and the like. And then hit the pavement looking for ANY job, and then go to work and also search endlessly for THE job. And then find the right apartment close to the job. 

“Oh cool, how long have you been going out? What’s he like?”

Do you really mean to tell me that the instant you find out a chick isn’t gonna fuck you, the conversation is over and there’s no chance she could be a cool friend to hang with? WTF. 

When you’re young you can job-hop and climb the ladder somewhat quickly. But once you’re in your mid-30s, a work history full of 6-12 month jobs is a massive red flag. I’ve seen hiring committees basically toss out applications from people who average 6 months per job. Even with good experience, it makes the hiring team think “There must be something wrong with this person if they never stick around.”

Or they’re sex workers. Lotta people out there willing to fuck for money or luxury items. 

I use Blue Shield California and they haven’t screwed me yet. We’ve really needed them this past few years and they approve everything pretty quick, but it’s also serious. 

Kyuss. Yawning Man. Fatso Jetson. Across the River. Slo Burn. Unida. House of Broken Promises. All the desert stoner bands. 

But also South American sludge. Los Natas. Demonauta. Buffalo. Canonero. Humo del cairo. Poseidotica. 

Green leaf and graveyard. And dozer. Siena Root. All the Swedish stoner. 

The Boxito Burrito at the Original Alfredo’s on Narbonne in Lomita. Mayan spices, that thing is black-green and full of pork. So damn good. I’ve eaten Mayan food in Guatemala and this stuff has that deep flavor, seems pretty authentic to me. Their Cochinita Pibil is great too. 

There’s another Alfredo’s on PCH in Lomita/Torrance and it’s not the same. Different owners, different menus. 

Oh I think we’ll be fucked. There will still be stores to buy stuff but they’ll be controlled by organized crime. You’ll have no-go zones. Infrastructure will crumble and never get fixed. Everyone will buy water from Sparkletts because we don’t have drinkable tap water anymore and people will rob those water trucks at gunpoint. Rich communities will build enclaves for themselves and hire private security guards for every home. Poor people will live in favelas and encampments. The middle will be gone. 

But that’s how people all over the world already live. And they still make ends meet and find love and have babies. But they’re also still fucked and can’t do much about it beyond throwing their support behind the least-worst warlord. 

It was 2000. Bush v. Gore, the Supreme Court stopped the Florida recount early so they could certify the vote in time for inauguration. But when the votes were finally actually counted, Gore had more votes in Florida. He won. 

And if Gore had been president, we would’ve actually done something about carbon emissions. We wouldn’t have empowered the Christian radical right. 9/11 probably would’ve still happened (although maybe Gore would’ve read the FBI memo), but we certainly wouldn’t have invaded Iraq. And on and on, etc. 

You’re remote so you can keep your job. You’re living with roommates so you can keep your rent low. So yes, you can absolutely live here on $73K. But you do need to be smart about your money. Create a budget and stick to it. You’ll need to do that wherever you live, for the rest of your life, so you may as well make and stick to a budget somewhere you love living. 

Good news is it’s easy to bail out on your situation if you want. You can go home any time with a setup like this. 

Sriracha Thai is in Carson and I love that lady’s food. Best Thai in the South Bay. The place is tiny, though. More of a pickup/delivery spot than a sit down place. 

Workers: Are you front-facing? Show up on time. Do you have a meeting? Show up on time.

Bosses: Are your employees back of house doing work independently? Then who fucking cares if they’re 10 min early or 10 min late as long as they do their 8 hours.  

I live in a state where companies are required to give you the salary range in the job ad. Just makes sense. But before that law came into effect, I wouldn’t ask about salary until I had an offer from them. 

People are petty and they’re looking for excuses to weed out applicants. I tried not to give them one. Is that “right”? No. Fuck them for not saying what they’ll pay. But I’ve been broke and desperate before and I didn’t dare ask about money until they said the job was mine. 

I mean… I personally find this sort of choice soul-destroying, but it’s your life. If this is the path you want to choose, that’s up to you. It isn’t anyone else’s business. 

I do hope your kids grow up in a happy home and not just a comfortable one. 

NTA. 

:( Good luck out there, bro. 

The pesticide aisle leaking fumes. Gonna get non Hodgkin lymphoma just walking through. 

Just the ones you’re banging. 

A meeting that could have been an email is 2 hours of lost productivity.