The good moments do not negate the bad. My mom was absolutely wonderful, except for the times she wasn't. She was fun, engaged, a great listener, gave great advice, was supportive... when she wasn't terrorizing me and telling me what a bad daughter I was for being upset and angry when she hurt me.

The good times add a different flavor to the abuse, which is what your mom is doing btw. Sometimes she's nice, she's only mean when you make her, she's only mean when she's upset and you just have to be understanding, other people have it worse, etc. 

If she was cruel all the time then you being upset would be "justified". You grey rocking would be "justified". But she's nice sometimes so you feel like you'd be mean to hold her cruelty against her.

Her being nice sometimes doesn't make you any less traumatized. Because of her treatment of you, you're going to find it difficult to trust genuine kindness and respect. You're being conditioned to excuse the inexcusable. You're being conditioned to be vulnerable to abusive partners. Compare her behavior to descriptions of domestic violence. They match. Please, please understand that her behavior is unacceptable. Do not tolerate it from anyone, not even your mom.

It took me at least 15 years to trust that my husband wasn't going to hurt me. Because I was raised in a similar environment to you. And I kept waiting for the mask to come off. I kept waiting for this mistake to be the one that showed him I was worthless. It hasn't happened, and it won't, because he's proven himself trustworthy.

You deserve better than the way your mother treats you, OP.

OP's weight is none of your concern, and your commentary is both unsolicited and irrelevant. Learn to mind your own business.

It seems really common now for parents to be like "don't tell my kid what to do!" and "how dare you try to parent my child!". Wtf. What happened to "it takes a village"? 

Who's going to tell the kids to stop running with scissors if the parents aren't there or don't bother to supervise? Why do people think it's ok to teach their kids they can be brats and no one is allowed to say no? (Not the kids in this story, not yet anyway.)

It blows my mind every time I read a story with parents like that. 

He committed a serious transgression and you forgave him, so he knows he can be really terrible and you'll still come back. That's why he's being worse now, because he knows he can be without any permanent consequences. 

My dad is like this but worse. I don't know how mom hasn't left him. I know I lost patience with him a long time ago, and if he tries me he gets verbally smacked to the ground. He usually doesn't try me now.

He sounds like my dad. And he is absolutely 100% doing this because he doesn't like that you like something. He might also be mad that you're spending time enjoying yourself instead of catering to him. My mom can't even watch TV if dad's in the house because in his opinion she should be gazing at him adoringly and hanging on his every word at all times.

Your stepmother is an idiot who doesn't understand that allergies are a real medical issue, not bs made up by sensitive snowflakes. 

Also that was not disrespectful and rude. She was disrespectful. You are an adult who pointed out in a calm way that what she said was nonsense. NTA 

It's normal, in my experience, for bosses to get mad when you have to take your spouse to the emergency room. What sort of normal, caring people do you work for that you can just be like "sorry my loved one is going through it, rain check on this meeting"?

Her widower is her next of kin, not her kids. They're entitled to their feelings but the decision ultimately rests with him. 

Why would the son's opinion matter more than the husband's and the daughter's?

He tried to have his wife buried next to husband 1, but there was no plot for OP to be buried next to her. He has the right to want to be buried next to his wife. This isn't deliberate cruelty, it's a decision with a lot of emotions attached for everyone, and not everyone will be happy with it. 

OP still has the right to decide and he's not an A H for wanting to be buried with her later.

Oh lord. At a family wedding a few years ago the speech was literally 45 minutes long. Yes, 45. And so boring! It wasn't even funny or interesting! Not once the entire time!

Please cut your brother off. I know that there's a cultural expectation to give your family money, but surely there's a cultural expectation that a man provide for his family? Shouldn't he be getting a job to help support his parents? Instead he's acting like a 5 year old who wasn't raised properly by their parents.

NTA, OP. I'm sorry you're in this situation.

So he had a tantrum because he didn't like how your eyebrows looked. 

Then, he threatened to bleach his hair, and you basically said "go for it if you want, I think it would look good".

He bleached his hair out of spite and doesn't like it.

Now he's mad at you for a ridiculous decision that he made? Are you sure he's not just a really tall 12 year old?

NTA, and you deserve an adult, not a spiteful manipulative child.

There's a large number of women who were SA by their dads who would disagree with you.

Your sister is being ridiculous. I actually rolled my eyes. It's just a freaking dress. It's not like anyone would recognize it as the dress you got married in. NTA 

Here's the thing about sugar: your body runs on sugar. Literally, that's the fuel your body naturally runs on. That's why humans (and other living creatures) have such a strong drive to consume sugar and carbs.

That's why when you're on a carb free diet (keto, Paleo, etc) you crave carbs and sugar so hard. It's not addiction any more than your car needing gas is an addiction. Your brain can technically run on protein if it absolutely has to as a last ditch effort to stay alive, but it really doesn't like it.

Is too much sugar bad? Yes. Are unrefined carbs like whole grains better for you than refined carbs? Yes. Is sugar the root of all evil? No. 

Totally aside from that, calling you a "naughty girl" is gross. Yanking your property out of your hands is infantilising. I would've gone off on him so hard for the disrespect. NTA

The only A H thing you did was tell Jesus that he should ask his woman to cook for him. You don't like the gendered bs being applied to you? Well guess what. Women don't like it being applied to us either. You basically told him "I'm not your housewife, your housewife is right there, mistreat and yell at her instead".

Ok Bender 😂

NTA, it sounds like your mom finally found the consequences that would work on Jamie.

Does your wife just want him to keep getting his way, and not be inconvenienced by his own obnoxious behavior? If she gets her way and Jamie continues to face zero consequences, he's going to become an unpleasant adult to be around. 

You are a young woman uncomfortable with having a much larger man on the back of your bike holding onto you. Of course your brother thinks you're an A H, he's never had to think about his personal safety in the same terms you do. 

Can people please stop telling women they need to ignore their discomfort and say yes to things when they don't want to? This refers to everything, btw, not just smex. OP's bro is mad she said no and didn't prioritize a random stranger over herself.

I wouldn't let a random stranger in my car, why would you let one on your bike?

NTA 

No they're not trying to do a good thing. There's plenty of open spaces and students have legit reasons to be parked in that parking lot, such as visiting someone in the hospital. 

They were just enjoying the rush of power from enforcing a pointless "rule". NTA 

They're the ones handling it like children. They could've just let it go, but no, they had to badger you and turn it into exactly what you were hoping to avoid: drama. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this, OP. You deserve a calm life where you're not being squabbled over like the last dog treat in the bag.

It may be a good idea to develop a plan to create some healthy distance with your family when you get old enough to move away. 

NTA 

Do your siblings think their own dad is a great dude and love him? Because by doing this they're choosing their grandpa over their dad.

My dude, did you completely miss the part where for 200 years the necklace goes to the DiL upon the birth of her first son? The necklace was supposed to go to his wife. 

The only part of the tradition not followed was that Grandma didn't give it to OP's mom. Then OP's mom would've theoretically passed it to OP's wife. 

It's always been intended for the wives of the family. Divorce is irrelevant, because OP's wife is going to pass it on to her DiL when the time comes. 

The tradition is that each mother gives the necklace to her son's wife when she has a boy. He followed the family's tradition. Where does it say that grandma only thought boys were worth celebrating?

But you exactly followed tradition. Grandma should've given it to her DiL when she had a son (you). Then mom should've passed it on to her son's wife (your wife) when she had a son. 

Grandma skipped a step and passed it directly to you and you followed the tradition. Your sister was never intended to inherit it. Your family is being ridiculous. NTA